Boils down to nothing. 

Ranveer

2015

I screwed up.

By the time I rolled out of the bar with the kid, a horde of armed people circled my car. I stepped back and held the kid behind me to conceal his presence. A shiver ran down my spine as I calculated the length of measures in front of me. I eyed them warily and pulled back as one of the men walked towards me.

"Hand us that kid." His tone was rash and gruff. "We know you have him."

I narrowed my eyes on him, deciding against my worst judgment to deal with them with civility. I held my head up and looked at him. "Listen, if you want the money, I can give it to you. Leave him out of this."

I stood with my arms crossed over my chest as I watched them discuss the offer among themselves. "You doing okay?" I asked the kid and felt his tiny hands tug the hem of my shirt. Shit. I had to devise a trick up my sleeve. I was as good as naked in front of these people with revolver guns and knives. "Don't worry, it's gonna be alright," I muttered lowly and looked at them. "Do we have a deal?"

"Under the condition that you take upon his delivery," one of the men shot and I scowled at him. "We did some digging and found out who you are."

"And that's supposed to make it convenient for you to drag me into drug pedaling?" I breathed hard as the kid sided to stand beside me. "How about I pay you double?" I offered evenly instead.

The tick of his revolver was sharp under the drizzle. "Either you agree to our terms or I blow his head off right now." He aimed for the kid beside me and I darted my hand across him.

"Why do you want to kill him when I have so much cash to offer?" I bit out. "I can get you loaded right now."

"Oh you will," another man burst out. "But we need you in the circuit too. You know too much."

"Or we can kill them both and get this over with," another man interrupted and I inhaled an aggravated breath, and shook my head. Fuck. I had gotten myself into a mess I had no clue how to deal with.

A layer of sweat covered my back and I tugged the collar away from my neck. My body went hotter. I wasn't scared for my own sake. I couldn't take these people to shoot a kid in his head right in front of my fucking eyes.

I looked at the innocent kid. He could have had a future—I could have helped him grow. I'd had fucked up. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

"You won't get a dime if you kill us both," I snapped at them. There was no way I was allowing a kid to die in my presence. What the fuck.

"You are right," one man said lowly and I narrowed my eyes to look at him. "He can die and you can pay us. We settle for the original plan."

I shoved the kid behind me and he whimpered. "No—wait!" Goddamn it.

"Money isn't enough of an incentive," another man said. I was starting to lose count of the number of people in front of me. "You know too much to back away now."

"Nobody has to know about this," I told them evenly. "Let me pay you out and we can go our separate ways pretending like this night never happened."

"That's not an option," he said conclusively and I realized there was no other way out of this. "If you so much as try to involve your father into this then we will make sure none of them survive tonight."

"Come on man." I sighed exasperatedly as I ran my fingers through my sweat-damped hair. "It's a homeless kid we're talking about. The only thing he has is his family."

"So we decide to end that tonight," another man shouted and I looked away. The premonition jostled a severe burn in the pit of my stomach. It was the end of the round.

I had a small hope that money would make us evade them or at least give me some time to figure shit out but I had no other option. I closed my eyes and pushed my fingers through my hair. What was I going to do?

How was I going to stop this?

I weighed my options carefully and peered at the man who seemed to be calling most of the shots. "I will agree to your terms if you agree to mine." They exchanged glances and murmured among themselves before they urged me to go on. "I will do your bidding but it will be a one-time thing. I don't do this shit and you let him go along with his family."

"But you give us the money that's rightly owed to us."

I walked towards my car and the kid followed. "Fine," I muttered and hit my finger against the key fob to unlock my vehicle and pedaled to the nearest ATM counter to withdraw cash.

I had fucked up beyond my reasonable means and there was no going back.

*

2015

The adjudication was ongoing when my father visited me at the reform home along with my lawyer. It had been months since I had been arrested. Life at a juvenile home sucked but I was grateful that I was allowed to continue pursuing my education.

I closed my book and turned my gaze on Dad. Disdain and indignation flashed across his face when he met my gaze and I couldn't bring myself to initiate the conversation.

My lawyer was a sharp man. He caught on to the discomfort between us and decided to open the discussion. "The contraband that was seized from you is more than small quantity and less than intermediate. It's morphine. Do you understand how serious the charges are?"

I looked at my father as he tensed and shook my head. I wanted to tell him that I was sorry. I never thought I'd have wound up in prison. It happened so fast and now things were fucked up.

"Listen Ranveer." My lawyer leaned to the table and went on, "those guys in there are pretty liberal for minors. You're still a kid. It's not too late. Please tell us what happened. How did you end up with drugs that night?"

My lips trembled as my heart thundered in my chest. I wasn't ready to talk about it. I wasn't ready to face my father and the world. I had never felt shame so deeply in my bones.

"Your mother believes you are innocent," Dad muttered gruffly and I winced silently. "She hasn't been eating well and sleeping well. She hasn't been good without you so if you care about her—at all—you tell us what happened."

Mom—goddamn it to hell—I was the reason everything was so messed up.

"Is she going to be okay?" I asked him instead and he softened. Over the months, I had lost my energy to indulge in conversations. The reform home was lonely and a bleak place; I had lost myself somewhere there. "Please take care of her."

Dad stood up and rounded the desk to sit beside me. The lawyer leaned back to his seat as he waited for me to speak up. "You are my son and whatever you tell me will be the end of the story, Veer. I will believe you if you just let me." I blinked several times to stop my tears. "I'm angry—furious but can you blame me?"

"I know. I'm sorry—"

"You are locked up in a place that isn't meant for you. I'm angry because I wasn't there when so many things were happening with you."

I rubbed the moisture off my eyes and breathed deeply. "Don't blame yourself. I was stupid—"

"Yes, you were but you are being stupider by shutting down right now. Do you have any idea about the amount of damage you have done?"

"I know—"

"And despite your knowledge, you wish to be hard for me?" I remained silent and he sighed. "Just tell me what happened. Tell me from the beginning."

"And don't miss out on any details," my lawyer added quickly as he uncapped his pen and opened his notepad. "Every detail counts."

They must have noted the stern look on my face when I hardened. "I did it."

My account of details must have lasted for hours but they were patient and I had realized there was nowhere else I had to be at the moment.

"So let me get this straight, all this started with a homeless kid?" My lawyer stared at me, dumbfounded but before I could respond to him, my face turned to the other side with a sharp burn under my skin.

My father had slapped me.

"What were you thinking?" he bit out and I allowed the burn from his slap to settle in. I deserved that. "I can't believe you could be so stupid, Veer."

"Mr. Goyal, you need to calm down," my lawyer piped up and I shook my head, ashamed.

"Calm down? You expect me to calm down after knowing what really happened?" My old man had lost it. I couldn't blame him—he had every right to hate me. "The standard procedure for something like that always begins with calling the police department. You took matters into your own hands." He scoffed and laughed mockingly. "Did you forget that your father is in that department?" He banged his fist against the tabletop. "You didn't consider using the resources you always had. A minor was helping another child. Is that really what happened?"

It was half the truth but that's all they needed to know about my case. "It all boils down to nothing."

My lawyer straightened in his chair and nodded. "Do you have any witnesses?" he asked and turned to my father. "Do you have people who can vouch for his character? We will need that for the adjudication."

"There are no witnesses," I told him and turned my gaze on my father. "I'm sure Aagnay can help me."

"My son is an idiot," he muttered to the lawyer and I lowered my gaze. "That's one idiot I have raised. You listen to me," he demanded. "I'm going to do everything in my power to make this better and you have to be strong through this alright?" I nodded silently and met his gaze. "Don't lose your fight. Whatever happens, your mother and I will take care of it."

The course of adjudication lasted for a long while until I was declared guilty by the court of law with direct evidence presented against me. Establishing a good character with my father pulling all the strings he could, helped me with a lesser sentence under the condition that I wasn't to be seen with drugs ever again.

But in the course of three years, I had grown to operate on blind action that stemmed from my instincts. I didn't lose my fight like my father had asked me to. I had lost myself.

Vaanya

2020

I was exhausted.

Completely sick of being the perfect little daughter of my mother and living a lie of a life—the semblance of flawlessness was eating away at me and I refused to succumb to it.

How could he sleep, my little sister? How dare he?

I stared at the flame flicker on the candle as the wind blew by and anger swept through me, sadness hitting me. My little sister was the only one I cared about. That sick bastard must have manipulated her into sleeping with her and she fell for it. I felt so...betrayed.

I was certain my mother had no idea about it but I was working my way around it. She was my only hope.

I darted my gaze around the now vacant lawn of a property tucked away in the far ends of our neighborhood. The fire on the wick of the candle crackled as I lowered it, illuminating the freshly trimmed grass.

God! There were so many things that needed to be taken care of. That Sambhavna girl amongst others—Ella and Maira had lost their minds about her. I didn't even know why they were so worked up against her and as much as I wanted to help her with my mother on the board of CSU, I couldn't compose a coherent sentence around her let alone pitch Sambhavna to her.

I had to speak with Jia about it but I was only prolonging the inevitable conversation. I was afraid—I was scared of the truth. That rat had to pay for bedding a minor—my sister.

I swept my gaze around the property and peered across the fence, my heart racing my chest as I bit my lip to hide my grin as I prowled towards the front door and set the candle right near the curtain on the door. I backed away and ran out of the property as silently as possible, my heart pounding in my chest rapidly as I hid behind a vehicle and watched the curtain catch the fire.

They were going to have to replace a lot of things in their property; poor people. I chuckled, glancing at the windows to catch a moving shadow but the occupants seemed dead to the night. Well, they had to wake up before they turned into actual dead meat.

I turned my gaze on the sides to check if someone was watching me. I would have been dead if someone had caught me. The little thought threw me into a pool of jitters and my hands trembled.

If I get caught tonight then I'll help Sambhavna.

I walked to my car, staring at my feet, one after the other, my keys jiggling in the pocket of denim as I watched the smoke rise to the first floor of the property. The hit of euphoria made my head swim.

I rushed to my car as I saw the lights flick on inside the property and laughed when I slipped behind the wheels and ignited the engine. I hope there were no cameras. Shit. I drove through the dead night in the city and headed back to my home, scared but all the more excited by the challenge.

*

I dumped my bag on the floor and leaned to the frame of the door of the dining room and watched her sway her head to the music that blasted through her headphones as she scribbled something on her notebook. It was serene to watch her smile and be at ease, in her element. She had a lot of passion and I didn't want anything to take that away from her.

I plopped on one of the chairs across from her. She averted her gaze on me and removed her headphones before she beamed at me. "Hey!"

I smiled at her and planted a pillow on my lap. "How was school?"

She shrugged and closed her notebook with a sigh. "Busy. They have assigned so much to read already. School sucks!"

I chuckled. "That's true, the pressure gets real there." I pushed to my feet and grabbed the hairbrush from the table. "I don't see Rakesh around."

Her nose wrinkled. "Since when do you ask about his bearings?" I scoffed and sat beside her to brush her messy hair. "Neither do you see Mom, do you?"

"Nope." I untangled her hair with my fingers gently. "A date at this hour, is it?"

She snorted. "I doubt," she muttered. "I'm sure Rakesh is caught up with something else." It was odd how certain she was. "Why do you ask?"

I sucked in a deep breath and rose to my feet. "Jia—I—" I lowered my gaze, embarrassment heating my face. She looked at my face intently as I turned my gaze on her. "I saw you the other night."

She jerked away, bugging her eyes out. "Uh—" She scoffed and shook her head. "I don't know what you mean."

"On the couch in the living room, you guys were—" I thought I was going to be sick. I never thought I'd run into my sister in the middle of the act and this conversation to begin with. Her eyes flared as she gawked at, mortified and I sighed. "Why are you sleeping with our mother's boyfriend Jia?" Her hands went limp as she leaned back into her seat. "Did he talk you into this? Just talk to me, please? I'm scared and concerned. I understand he isn't as old as our father but he is still quite old and you're very young—"

"Please don't tell Mom," she whispered pleadingly without meeting my gaze and I sat across her. "She can't know—"

"But Jia, that's her boyfriend," I pitched and she shook her head vigorously as a sob broke out of her throat. "Did he force you? Why are you falling for this?" I was shocked by her uncanny behavior. Mortification and shame flashed through her sweet face as she wiped her tears and looked at me.

"He doesn't love Mom," she told me and my brows knitted in bewilderment. It wasn't a piece of news that he harbored no feelings for my mother—it was abundantly clear but I suspected there was more to the picture than met my eyes. "He loves me."

"Did he tell you that?" Unbelievable. I laughed like manic and she stared at me. I knew my little sister was dumb but she had proven to be even more foolish than I had originally thought. "Don't tell me you bought that bull."

"Don't say that," she gritted out and I pursed my lips to hide my smile. "You have no idea what it's like. If you would have given yourself a chance to know, you would know how nice he is."

I sneered. "I'm sure he is," I shot back acidly. "I'm sure he has told you all these amazing lies because he knew you're vulnerable. He knew you're the easiest one and he made his move." I snorted and looked away, feeling a headache gather around my temples. I wasn't impressed at all. That man had to walk out of my door and never look back. I wanted to burn him alive. "So you just what? Believed him? Did you get so easy for him? How long has it been going on?"

"He isn't the bad guy here." She glared at me and hopped out of the bed. "You're simply mistaken—"

"Are you kidding me?" I bit out and tossed the hairbrush on the table. "He couldn't love our mother when he claimed that he did, you think he would love you? He is a manipulating liar who not to mention, practically slept with a teenager and tricked you into believing that he loves you or whatever and you fell for that—"

"I love him." Oh my God.

I pushed my fingers through my hair and tugged the roots of my hair exasperatedly. I was on the precipice of losing my mind.

"We both love each other and he is a good man," she said softly and tears stung my eyes with splinters of glass. "He is nothing like the boys in my school. He doesn't treat me like I'm a little girl. He treats me like I'm a woman."

"That's only because he always wanted to sleep with you." My voice hit an octave to knock some sense into her but she was myopic. "Wake up Jia. Sex is not love for God's sake!"

She scowled at me. "You think I don't know that?"

"What's going on here?" Rakesh stood at the threshold of the room with my mother who looked utterly lost. "Why are you girls yelling at each other?"

Jia rushed to him and wrapped her arms around his torso to pull him into a hug. My stomach flipped to the little move and I swallowed the bile that caught my throat. "Get away from her," I demanded and my mother frowned at me.

Rakesh's gaze turned on me. "What—"

I walked to them and gripped Jia by her shoulder. "I said get your hands off her," I bellowed, yanking my sister off him and Mom gasped. Jia whimpered and pried away from me. "Don't," I bit out demandingly and she wrapped her arms around herself.

"What in God's name are you doing?" Mom snapped at me as she caught my arm. "How many times do I have to tell you that you can't act like that?"

"Just shut up!" I lost it—I imploded. "This is all your fault, can't you see? If it weren't for you, none of this would've gotten so worse."

She narrowed her gaze on me. "What are you even talking about?"

"Ask him," I demanded and met Rakesh's gaze. Fury burned under my skin as I glared at him. "Will you tell her or I will?"

Mom stared at him as he visibly struggled to speak. She looked at him and then at Jia, and then at me, her eyes bugging out as realization began to seep into her. "You don't mean—"

"Yes!" I pinched the bridge of my nose and looked at her. "Your boyfriend has been cheating on you with none other than your underage daughter."

Terror flashed on Rakesh's face as he began to say, "I can explain—"

"Get out of my house," Mom demanded somberly as she walked to Jia. "I'll send your belongings later. Just leave and never reach out to us again."

"Please don't do that—" Jia protested desperately as she looked at Rakesh longingly, tears slipping her eyes as her lips trembled. "Please—"

"Don't you dare speak another word," Mom gritted out and Rakesh backed away. I didn't care how desperately he wanted to be with my sister. I didn't care if he was hurt. He had to leave and I was glad that he finally was. "Get out."

Rakesh looked at Jia longingly. "Look, all I need—"

"Will you get out before I call the cops?" I bit out acidly and he gaped at me. "One lives right next door, you know?"

That managed to shut him up and looked at our faces to look for any signs of qualms but there weren't any.

I watched Rakesh walk out of the door and turned towards Jia as she broke out into fits of convulsive sobs. "You are the worst mother ever. I hate you!" She bellowed and stormed to her bedroom without speaking another word to us. 

~~~~

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