A smile that cries for hope.

Vaanya

I stare at the needle of the table clock as it ticks away second by second. The silence hangs heavy in the room as Saxena Sir waits for me to speak but I don't know where to begin.

"How are you feeling now that you are aware of Kunal's cause of death?" he repeats his question and I struggle to swallow the lump that's beginning to form in my throat.

I feel...furious-hurt because my friends think my boyfriend has everything to do with his death-but I can't say that out loud, can I? "It's still very hard to believe that he isn't here with us." I meet his dark gaze and he leans back to his chair.

His brows rise mildly. "Do you feel responsible?"

"Why would I feel responsible for anything?" I feel my body tense and he sighs.

"Because you could have stopped him if you knew he had a hard time dealing with substance abuse." He clasps his hand on the table.

"None of us ever knew he was into substance at all." I shrug dismissively. "He was always so outgoing we doubt he even had a personal life."

"Everyone has a personal life we know nothing about," he says and I nod to acknowledge.

I wonder why Sambhavna likes him so much. He is old and he speaks too much. It's been three days I haven't spoken with her-neither Ella for that matter since our big fight, but Maira keeps checking up on me. I'm sure she does the same for the rest of the girls but I can't stand to be with them in the same room any longer.

"But he was Maira's boyfriend. That gives us some right to such classified information on him." I mentally kick myself after saying that. I shouldn't be garnering more attention on this subject. It will only make Ranveer look worse.

I'm sure I have piqued his attention because he is looking right at me. "I suppose that's fair to say," he mutters and I look away. I should have just zipped it. "Do you think someone might have been behind it?"

"You're asking me if I think Kunal's death was no accident?" I'm so baffled, I can hardly breathe.

"I just want to know how you're navigating through this, how are you coping or if there's something the police should be looking for that you already are." Okay...he is definitely onto something. Is it even safe to talk to him about how I feel? He is CSU's counselor after all.

"It's actually a lot to process at a time," I mumble and he nods silently. "So I'm taking each detail one at a time."

"No, that's good." His eyes glint as he flashes a smile. Oh...so that's why Sambhavna likes him. He is handsome when he smiles. "You're doing the right thing." We both remain silent for another awkward beat. "Do you think someone close to you has anything to do with it?"

Aagnay without a doubt but I can't tell him that. "Um, not that I can think of." I shake my head quickly. "But it's quite strange that he out of all the people overdosed strangely."

He looks at me intently. "And how does that make you feel?"

"Why do you keep asking me the same question?" I ask acidly and he sighs audibly.

"Because your friend is dead after returning from the same party you were returning from."

I haven't been so mortified until now. "And you believe one of us have something to do with his death? You think I or my friends would actually kill him? For what possible reason?"

"Because of that column probably?" This is a thirty year old man-who not to mention is a counselor-reads the stupid gossip column? Who on earth even hired him?

"You read that garbage?" I ask pointedly and he shifts on his chair uncomfortably.

"Aren't they true?" Every word of it. Damn you Ella. If it weren't for her recklessness, we wouldn't have been here. I want to go berserk on her for so many reasons. I have always been so kind and gentle with her, only to be screwed over like this. Upon noting my silence, he asks, "Who do you think is behind that column?"

I clasp my hands together to stop them from trembling. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Alright," he says and rubs his temple gently. "Did you ever try talking to your parents about the column?" If only he knew how much my parents are curious to know about my life than they are concerned. I shake my head in denial and he nods. "Did you have a fight with your friends?"

I snap my gaze on him and feel my throat go dry all over again. How does he know that? Was he there at the parking lot? Did any of the girls tell him about it? Does he stalk us?

He scribbles something on his notepad. "I often find you girls catching up together and you haven't been doing that lately." Oh, that's how. I'm just getting paranoid for no reason. He is a counselor, of course he is observant.

"Yeah, we've been busy," I say lowly and stare at a faint stain on the cheap carpet on the floor. Why did I agree to this? I should have denied the moment Maira shoved it down on me. This was a bad idea.

"Everything okay at your home?" he asks, propelling me out of my thoughts and I gape at him. He knows about my home?

"Yes," I say tightly and he nods.

"And your sister?" he asks and I crouch to grab my bag from the floor beside the couch.

My sister? What does he know about Jia? How does he know anything? "I should get going," I say hastily and he opens his mouth to protest. "There's somewhere else I have to be." Away from your daunting questions, I want to say but I'm shutting the door of his office behind before my mind could catch up.

I don't have the mental energy to attend another class. Since Kunal's death, people have changed around here at Sigma. They stop talking the moment I walk into the room and faint whispers follow. It wasn't like that when that appalling column posted stuff about us.

I stroll into the noon air towards my car in the parking lot and text Maira quickly. Something shifts inside me and I click on the hyperlink to reveal the last post that was posted about me.

The Good Girl: #Exposed

I have spotted a certain broken angel with the Devil last night at the forbidden neighborhoods of the town. What were you doing with the mules V? Don't tell me R is dangling you out to the dealers now. Shouldn't you be fixing him? What would the CSU's administration think?

My money is on R, maybe we are selling him short on this one and he never gave up on his dummy man avatar. And you on the other hand, had been sucked into his vortex to clean up his mess. Beware V. You must know that your charms won't save you all the time. ;) Until next time, x.

Ranveer only made it to the dealers so he could turn them down in person because they weren't taking 'no' for an answer. I was with him because we had dinner date and that was it. But how did this column writer catch me with him anyway? Is this person stalking me-watching me right now from afar?

I dart my gaze around the parking lot and past the grounds to only find a few souls wandering and talking among themselves. Who is this person and why hasn't he-she-they posted anything else after Kunal's death?

I receive a text from Maira agreeing to my plans and sigh with relief. I jump into my car to drive to Anthony's residence.

*

I hop on the bed and lay my head on Maira's comforting lap as she splays her tattooed legs on the bed. "I miss visiting forts in the rain," I mumble and hear her chuckle.

She caresses my hair. "You know we can always do that right?"

"Yeah but I don't want to leave Jia alone," I say and marvel the tattoo of snake on her thigh that runs down to her ankle. I shift on her lap to face her and her startling hazel eyes avert on me. "She has a lot going on right now."

"Yeah I get it," she says and tugs her lip-ring with her teeth. "How's Ranveer doing?"

I glare at her. "It's not like you're interested in his wellbeing," I mutter.

"Don't say like that," she whines and caresses my forehead. "I don't hate him."

"Yeah right." I pick on my nail mindlessly. "You want me to believe that you actually care about him?"

"At this point, I care about every fucking soul on this planet!" she scoffs and that makes me smile.

"He's been okay," I say nonchalantly. "I agreed to help him with some of the course details. He's kicking back and I want him to ace his tests next month."

"You're such a good girlfriend Vaanya, that's really nice." And Ranveer is the best I have. Not that these people would have the heart to see him the way I do.

"He agreed to quit dealing," I announce and that makes her grin foolishly.

"Damn," she laughs. "That's awesome news."

"Yeah he will quit drugs altogether, eventually." I shrug mildly and we both chuckle.

Her laughter dies and she looks at me. "Did you talk to the girls yet?"

"You know I wouldn't," I say dismissively and look away.

She catches my arm to shift me to face her. "Look, I know you're upset with everything they said but they-"

"It's so not cool Maira," I snap and sit up. "Ella practically pinned everything on Ranveer. You know he wouldn't do something like that."

Maira's eyes flash with qualms but she is quick to conceal it.. "I don't know what to believe, I mean he was with the dealers last week."

"And so was I." I back away from her and her shoulders grow limp. "In that way, I must have made it to your suspects list too."

"You're my best friend Vaanya, you know I trust you," she says with a certain affliction in her tone that manages to comfort me.

"Then you have to trust me on this too!" I sit closer to her. "Ranveer had nothing to do with it. In fact Aagnay was out of the party way earlier than any of us. Doesn't that give you a pause? Why was he so upset with Kunal in the first place? And why were they pitting against each other just a week before Kunal died?"

"I hear you," she says and sighs deeply. "But how are you so sure?"

"Because Ranveer saw Aagnay leave early and besides, I'm trying really hard to prove a point here. Why isn't Ella doing the same? Why isn't she trying to figure out what Aagnay has been up to? Doesn't that make her questionable?" My money is on Aagnay because he is capable of hurting people. I have heard him threaten fellow students on multiple occasions-threats to ruin them-to kill them.

"Yeah you're right," she says and hope surges through me. "You're right, Aagnay seems more likely than Ranveer at this moment," she mutters after a thoughtful beat and I grin at her. Thank God she got her senses back. "But Vaanya you have to talk to the girls. We can't keep falling apart, not right now when we are on the line for Kunal's death."

"It's an open and shut case Maira," I say and she rolls her eyes.

"Except we know Kunal's cause of death was no overdose. If we can manage to know that then the cops will soon and that won't help us if we keep pushing each other away."

"I won't talk to them until they apologize," I say conclusively and she grins complacently-it's contagious.

"Perfect! You're the best!" she squeals and pulls me for a hug. "Let's catch up tomorrow evening." Guess I don't have another option.

Sambhavna

I push through the glass doors of a quaint bar up north to the campus and order a cheese burger and fries for myself before I grab a stool to plop on. Live Forever by Mystery Skulls continues to pour through the speakers and I unlock my phone to check the updates on my social media handles.

"Is this seat taken?"

I tear my gaze away from the screen of my device to look at Mayank across my table. I really hope my eyes aren't bugging out in ways that would make me look absolutely freaky.

"No," I manage to say and shut my phone. "Please." I gesture for him to take his seat and he flashes a smile. Whoever hired him for the students' welfare sure did all good. He is so hot!

"You never really made it to my office," he says and I rub my nape nervously.

"I was just busy...I guess," I say politely. "But I was going to, I mean, I will." Wow. I'm a wreck.

He gauges me for a long beat. "How are you holding up?"

"Fine," I lie and he continues to rake me through his deep onyx eyes. I sigh. "It's been hard. My friends and I had this fight about-" I look at him as I shut up. I shouldn't be talking to him about anything.

He arches his brows questioningly. "About?"

"Well you know silly girl stuff," I muster a chuckle but it must look fake. "Difference of opinion is all."

"Okay." He nods and his beer arrives. He takes a quick sip and sets his mug on the coaster. "I heard you're relatively new to the circle of friends."

"Yes, but that's pretty old news now," I shoot and he smiles.

"It must be hard for you to adjust around them."

"'Adjust' would be an understatement," I mutter and my fries arrive. I thank the server and peer back at him. "I never thought someone has so much to care you know? It gets exhausting to try to fit in but I'm glad I have my friends too."

"And do your friends feel the same way about you?" he asks, startling me and that question weighs down on me. Maybe? I don't know. "You don't have to be with people who don't take you seriously Sambhavna. Life is too short for that."

It's really good to hear his voice saying my name. Wait. He remembers my name?

"Don't look so surprised," he says and I look away. "I was specifically told by the board to talk to you ladies after...well, I'm sorry for you loss."

I smile lopsidedly. "Thanks. People haven't been very kind since Kunal's death. There are rumors everywhere and everyone seems to have made up their minds about it."

"What kind of rumors?" he asks with a hazed curiosity and I munch on my fries.

"That he died of STI," I say and he looks surprised. "I mean I understand where that comes from but that is so insensible of people to say that. I just want him to rest in peace now that he is gone."

Five days. Five fucking days since Kunal's death and still people won't give up talking about him. I really want to move on past this. It feels like my life is all about his death and that's everything people can talk about. It has gotten so heavy for me. I just want to escape this hell and leave.

I wish there were any other subjects to talk about. It's sad we have to sit in a bar with drinks to talk about Kunal's death. Under any other circumstances, I'd have counted this as a date but I guess he has a reason to show up here and just randomly talk to me and nothing can be worse than this.

My phone buzzes again and I turn it silent.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" he asks before he drinks from his glass.

"I don't want to," I say and he nods. "There's a lot going on that I don't want to be a part of."

"With your mother?" he asks and I look at my lap. I want to confide in him more than anything but what am I supposed to say to him? "I read about you on the gossip column." That startles me and I avert my gaze on him. "Would you like to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about." I shrug offhandedly. "It's good for my pocket money and it makes me feel accepted." He nods thoughtfully and drinks from his glass. "My family has been in this perpetual crisis that nobody seems to care about and I hate to ask them money all the time."

"I'm sorry about that," he says and I smile at him. "If it makes you feel any better, I don't really care what your father did."

"Really?" So he doesn't judge me at all? How is that even possible?

"Yeah, I understand. You father did what he had to do under the circumstances, he was looking out for his family, you can't blame him for that." He is...oh my god. He is so nice. Nobody has ever tried to look at it that way. It's so refreshing to talk to somebody who doesn't see my father as some money grabbing criminal. He had his reasons to do that and as much as I don't condone it, I also can't help it. He is my father and I love him above it all.

"Thanks," I say and smile again before I dig into my fries. I don't know what gives me the confidence but I decide to get a little bold. "There's this guy I like but he is totally clueless. I want to go out and confess my feelings to him but I'm so scared I'll freak him out." I glance at him for a beat but he remains impassive.

He sets his glass on the coaster and meets my gaze. "You should do that. You wouldn't know he's interested in you if you don't try first." He has no idea that I've been talking about him.

"What if it's forbidden?" I whisper and he searches my face. His gaze heats up my cheeks and my hand travels to the scar above my brows reflexively. "What if I shouldn't? What if it only makes things more complicated?"

"Then my expert opinion is that you'll have to accept it as it is," he says evenly. "It might hurt in the beginning but you'll get used to it."

"Right," I say and look away. Well that hurt my vanity a little.

"Listen," he says and I turn to face him but I don't want to look into his beautiful eyes anymore. It will only stir these crazy feelings and I don't want him to see my cry. I fake a smile and he smiles back. "Any guy would be stupid to turn you down and if you ask me, he's not worth your while to waste yourself on someone who can't value you." That's easy for him to say because he thinks I'm crushing on one of my peers.

"Do you honestly feel that way?" I ask weakly and he nods.

"Absolutely," he says fervently and that makes me smile. Maybe he will reciprocate the way I want him to. Maybe there's hope for us. Maybe we can be together and I'll finally have someone to call my home. "All I'm saying is that the sooner you do it, the better."

"It's just that he has a smile that cries for hope," I giggle softly and look away. "But I guess you're right." I nod and we both chuckle. "Have you..." I lick my dried lips before I continue, "Did you talk to my friends?"

"I have spoken to Vaanya and Maira but Ella has been dodging my sessions." Of course she is. The world has to work according to her schedule. "They seem interesting." He breaks through my thoughts. "Your friends, they all seem so hurt and distant. Especially Maira, she had a lot to say." That catches my attention and I straighten in my seat.

"What did she say?" I dig in curiously and he chuckles. I swear that's the best sound ever.

"It's confidential Sambhavna," he says and my mouth forms an 'o' upon the realization. "Whatever you girls tell me will be safe with me."

"But I thought you'll have to report it to the dean or the administrations maybe." I narrow my eyes on him and he drinks from his glass again.

"I will update them with the progress. They are rather more concerned about the technical aspect of it. I don't have to tell them your secrets." Oh. So in that case, I can tell him anything I want. It will always be between us.

"I had no idea it worked that way." I grin. "I can definitely feel more comfortable about talking about everything now."

"Wait, is that why your friends haven't been more outgoing with this?" he asks and I nod silently. "Damn it. It's my bad. I should've been clear about it since the beginning." He runs his hand through his hair and then looks at me. "Can I trust you to pass the word along?"

"We haven't been on terms lately but I can tell Maira, maybe she'll pass the word to the others," I mumble the later part and fill my mouth with fries. My head is such a battle ground but my heart-it's as calm as the ocean.

We sit and talk about random things in general and for the first time in a long while, I feel like I have someone I can share things with without being judged. I have a real friend who isn't concerned about what I'm wearing or doesn't stare at me when I touch my scar. It's pleasant to be around him. Maybe I like him more because he is a grown-up-he doesn't have his head stuck in pointless matters. He makes me feel alive.

His gaze averts on the glass on the table. "Got any ideas on the person behind the gossip column?"

I chew my food and look away as I deliberate silently. "My friends are still trying to figure out," I say and peer at him. "It has to be someone we know, I mean nobody knows those details about us but then..." I trail off and he stills a look on me.

"Go on," he urges, drinking from his glass and I stroke the scar lightly.

"Well, Ella used to have this journal where she wrote all our secrets and I guess someone got a hold on that thing and hit the gold."

He sure seems taken aback and then he winces to himself. "I'm sorry about that. It makes sense how someone came across those details."

"Yeah," I mumble and dig into my food. "But we will find that person or at least I hope we do before things go way out of hands."

"Someone might have a motive," he says and my gaze snaps on him as I hear him out carefully. "Someone your friends might have messed with and now this person wants payback?"

"Ah, I never thought about it that way."

"Or it could be someone who had planned the murder but wanted to garner the attention rather on the column so nobody would look closely." He sure seems like someone who is onto something. It dawns on me that this wasn't a random chat in the first place.

"I guess...I'll have to agree with you on that one," I say lowly and he leans back to his seat. "But I can't be too sure about anything since there hasn't been another update since the murder."

"So you do agree that it's a murder." That isn't a question. I bite the back of my cheek as realization hits me. He is intending to extract information or theories out of me. That is so cute-he has no idea what I'm made of.

"Only because you think it's a murder. I still think it was an accident," I tell him point blank to his face and he arches a brow. "I don't think anyone had any intentions to hurt him whatsoever. Sure not many people liked him but he was also important to us. Your theories are dead end." He has to be convinced because I don't think it would be safe if he gets in the loop. It's not his mess and he sure has no clue what Kunal was like.

~~~

Hello Darlings!

I truly hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. Please let me know what you think about the plot so far. I'd love to know your thoughts and theories about the characters and plotline.

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