Lost in the smoke.

Sambhavna

I stroll out of the ladies' after Psych class and glance at my wristwatch. I can clock my time for a quick snack before I head for the Statistics class.

I feel my shoulder bump to somebody abruptly, startling me. "Hey, watch out you mo—" I suck in a deep breath as it dawns on me that I bumped into Saxena Sir. Why am I cursed? "Sorry," I mumble awkwardly and feel his piercing eyes on me. He is so damn handsome, it's unfair to look like that and what's more unfair is the fact that he is a faculty member and the student's counselor.

"Are you okay?" His voice rolls out like rich silk; spreading goosebumps all across my skin and I purse my lips to bite back my threatening gasp.

I simply nod like a lunatic and he must really judge me by my body language right now. Where's the confidence I harnessed months ago? I shouldn't be acting like this around him.

"Are you sure?" he asks again, drawing me out of my haze and I look at his hair around the edges of his forehead...so dark and sleek and his stubble, he must work really hard for that beard. "You don't seem okay."

Shit. He caught me staring at him like a lost puppy. "No." My voice comes out much more confident than I had expected. My throat sure feels dry all of a sudden. "I'm just...I didn't see you there. But yeah, I'm alright."

He searches my face for a long beat and I look away. "Good," he finally says and I release a slow breath.

"Okay," I rock on my feet gawkily. What am I supposed to say? See you again? Thanks? Bye? All of the above? Argh. Why am I such a klutz? "I have to go." I begin to walk past him but soon halt as I hear his voice.

"You were close to Kunal Dubey, weren't you?" I freeze to my stance and my eyes are bugging out so hard I'm afraid they would blow out of my sockets.

My lips begin to tremble so I bite hard on them as I slowly pivot to face him. "We ran in the same circles," I manage to say without a hitch and he scans my face. "But we weren't close..." I clarify and he nods thoughtfully.

"Well, I'm sorry for your loss," he says and I purse my lips tightly. "If you wish to talk to someone about what you're feeling or if it's getting too much for you, my office is down the hall like you already know. You're always welcome."

I nod. "Sure, thanks." I back away to leave but stop again. "Why would you think it will get too much for me?" Does he know something that he shouldn't? Ever since the official announcement of Kunal's death this morning, the buzz has only been growing; people have been adding up their versions of stories since Ranveer's party and feeding on conspiracy theories among themselves. Nobody seems to know the truth, however, which is sad.

"It must be tough to deal with it," he says evenly. "He was your friend and he was a bright kid, I want you to know that it will get better. Give it some time."

He is such a good man. I love him. "Yes, thank you," I say and his lips curve to a smile that knocks the air out of me. "Maybe I do need one of those counseling sessions." Some private time with him in his office room seems just the thing that can make me forgot about all this Kunal's madness.

"Sure, you know where my office is," he says and we part our ways. Fuck a snack! This was a treat I didn't hope for. And I'm late for my class.

*

I toss the wrapper in the waste bin and fetch my phone from the front zip of my bag as it buzzes. I swipe on the screen and tap on the inbox.

Vaanya: Meet us outsyd rn. Urgent!!!!!

Me: Gimme 2

I waste no time and push through the oak doors that lead to the exit. It's chilly when I step out and I sweep my gaze around the parking lot and spot the whole crew near Ella's Audi. I walk to them cautiously and find an unfamiliar face among them.

Vaanya smiles at me as I join them and stand beside her. "So what's going on?" I inquire lowly and she tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear and leans closer to me.

"That's Arijit," she whispers back and I watch him as he indulges in some random conversation with Aagnay. "I guess the reports have arrived."

Arijit Dubey, a proud son and currently, a grieving brother, is a striking man with jet black hair and startling onyx eyes. He has the looks, I'll give him that but this isn't one of those days; his cheeks are flushed and his eyes seem worn out.

"Of his autopsy?" I squeak lowly and Maira hushes us. I ignore her and Vaanya crosses her arms. "Shit. What does it say?"

"We don't really know," she says and I gape at her. Is she kidding me? "That's exactly why I texted you."

What if they found something about us? Is this really over for us? I feel my legs tremble and I back away to hide behind Vaanya.

"We'll be there to pay our respects," Ella says and Arijit nods.

"Yeah, if there's anything I can do to help, just let me know," Maira asserts and he agrees.

"The reports reveal that Kunal died with some drugs in his system," Arijit announces and everyone falls silent for minutes that feel like hours. "Drug overdose, they say."

Maira is the first to gasp and I step back astounded. Shit. Vaanya rushes to her side and wraps her arm around her shoulder to comfort her. Aagnay looks indifferent and so does Ella. Ranveer looks...stoned as usual. I must look like I'd pass out because that's exactly how I feel right now.

"Guess I never knew that fucker well enough," Arijit's tone is clipped. "He was doing drugs at his bachelor pad." I don't know about others but I can't manage to speak a fucking word. This is too much for me. "Bastard found a way to humiliate us even after he died," he mutters and I'm lost for a second. Silence hangs in the air again for minutes that feel like an eternity.

"I'm sorry Arijit," Vaanya is the first to break the silence and steps closer to him. "I swear if any of us knew any sooner, we'd have stopped him."

"Yeah, I'm sure about that." He looks away. "You don't have to be sorry."

Ella's eyes catch mine and she asks tentatively, "What about the other reports?" Arijit's gaze flicks on her instantly. She licks her lips before she asks, "Did they find any fingerprints or anything else that might determine something else?"

"Nah, never had them check anything," Arijit says and I clasp my hand behind me to ease on the shiver. "It's an open and shut case. So let's just allow him to rest in peace now," he says and averts his gaze on Ranveer. "Thanks for all the help man, you've been very cooperative."

Ranveer grants a cursory nod impassively and I'm not sure what they are talking about.

Maira sprints back to the college building and Vaanya excuses herself to follow her. Ranveer walks out almost immediately and I begin to back away to check up on Maira.

There's only one place I can find her and that's the ladies'. That's our go-to private space. Ella and Aagnay are still tending to Arijit and I have never felt so lost. I feel worse for Maira—can't imagine what she must be going through.

I twist the knob of the door to unlock it and step into the room to find Maira wiping her face with paper towels. Vaanya whispers something to her and hugs her to comfort her as I set my bag on the counter.

"Hey," I catch Maira's hand and she sniffles. "Do you need anything? We can ditch the classes and go to Sally's Bar."

"I'm never going to that fucking bar again," she bites out and I flinch away from her. She is aggressive and hurt right now and I don't want to fall prey to her wrath.

"Okay," I mumble and remain silent as Vaanya continues to coax her.

I feel completely left out, as though I don't belong with them. They don't seem to notice my presence and I stand there for so long, my legs begin to hurt but neither of them utters another word to me. It has always been this way with them but they are any day better than Ella—she is absolutely mortifying. But I have grown used to them. These girls are my friends for better or worse and we are in this shit together.

Maira

"Please calm down Maira," Vaanya says softly, caressing my hair as I sniffle into her delicate shoulder. "Sssh." She wipes my tears off my face and I back away from her.

"I had no idea Kunal had a bachelor pad," I say and Sam shifts on her stance to face me. She has been here all along—she is a good friend. "I'm sorry, I just got carried away." I feel that she at least deserves an explanation after standing for so long like a damned statue.

"No it's okay," she smiles weakly. "How are you feeling now?"

"Horrible," I mutter and pull some more paper towels from the dispenser.

"So he did drugs huh? That's a load," Sam says and I nod quietly, bewildered.

The door flies open and Ella saunters to me. "Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry." She braces me for a hug. "How are you doing now?"

"It's okay," I lie. "He can't." I look past Ella towards Sam. "He doesn't do drugs."

"My point exactly," Ella jumps in and I arch a brow at her. "Kunal rolled with alcohol. Substance was never his scene."

"You seem to know a lot about Kunal out of nowhere," Vaanya shoots and I'll give her that. Since when does Ella care about any of this?

"It's only common sense." She shrugs and I roll my eyes. "Can you think of someone who has everything to do with drugs? Someone notorious with rave parties and all the right strings to pull to fetch them?" No freaking way! Did she just shade Ranveer?

"How dare you?" Vaanya snaps and I know she'd lose it.

"I'm just calling the facts. No need to get so defensive," Ella singsongs and dabs her finger over her lips to fix her gloss. "After all, Kunal was last seen at his party, isn't that right? And who else can get substance except him?"

"And Ranveer didn't even look a bit sad when Arijit announced Kunal's cause of death," Sam says and I wince to myself. I don't know what to believe anymore.

"Shut up, you pathetic little bitch," Vaanya spits at Sam and I'm full-on gaping at her. "I don't need your half-assed opinion on my boyfriend. He has been helping Arijit to deal with his loss." I look at Vaanya's hand curl into a tight fist as she glowers. She turns to face Ella. "And what about Aagnay huh? Kunal had something on him and you know that. Why was he out of the party right before Kunal? I didn't leave Ranveer until after midnight. He was passed out for all you know but your boyfriend was out of sight and out of mind and you know what?" She steps closer to her and Ella will cry if Vaanya doesn't back down. "I bet you know exactly what Aagnay did that night and maybe that's exactly why you don't have fucking remorse about Kunal's death and that's why you conveniently want to shift your boyfriend's burden onto mine but I won't let you Ella. This is it."

"Whoa!" Sam steps between them to tear them away before they could brew a possible catfight and I'm confused more than ever. "You guys need to step back and think this through."

If Kunal had something on Aagnay then he might as well have killed him and made it all look like an accident. That would explain why Ella is so chill about all of this.

"That's very well thought Vannya." She squares her shoulders defensively and for a moment I think I saw a flash of terror in her face but Ella is the queen of poker face. "But it isn't my boyfriend who went to juvie for drug pedaling. It wasn't my boyfriend's party Kunal was returning from. Kunal may have something on Aagnay but Ranveer had all the resources for killing him."

"Except a reason!" Vaanya's voice echoes in the room and I rub my temples anxiously. She is losing it. I know she is losing all her precious shit right now. "Ranveer had the tapes to the party, the footages that Arijit owns now. His father is on it and he has no reason to hurt Kunal while your boyfriend had every reason to wipe him off the face of the earth."

"You fucking bitch!" Ella bites out and I eye Sam to catch her to refrain her from pouncing on Vaanya while I hold Vaanya's hand. She is shaking.

"Look, I wasn't even aware of this until a few minutes ago," I say and look back and forth between them. "But I know for sure that someone has something to do with his death."

"I won't let you pin your boyfriend's shit on mine Ella. It's Not. Gonna. Happen." Vaanya strides out of the room and I stare at Ella horridly.

"God this is messed up." Sam pushes her fingers through her hair.

"Listen Maira, Aagnay can't do this—he won't," Ella's tone is desperate and I shake my head.

"Was it just me or did you think that Arijit was acting totally cool about it?" Sam draws our attention and I urge her to go on. She looks at Ella and then back at me. "I may be wrong but he seemed off."

"Define that," Ella demands, crossing her arms over her chest and I look away.

Sam sighs deeply. "Look, his brother is dead and all he is concerned about is his image. Does that seem normal to you?"

"Well that's classic Arijit move," Ella mutters and Sam narrows her gaze quizzically. "You don't know his dynamics."

"Sure," she mumbles and looks away. "I just don't know who acts that way. He was his brother after all. I don't think the family name can be more important than blood."

"That's only because—" I shut up and look away. Shit. It's not my secret to tell.  "What Ella said. It is how it is," I rally anyway and Ella raises her brows questioningly.

"Maybe," Sam says. "But he sure as hell seems like someone who wouldn't mind pushing Kunal out of the picture for good."

"I'm lost in the smoke you guys—I don't know who did it or why," I admit placidly. "But this smells like murder to me."

~~~
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