Chapter Fifteen: Us.

It's our six months anniversary. And the day I promised I would reveal my secret to Jake. It's quite surreal how much we've grown so accustomed to each other's company that we can barely go a day apart. He's more than my companion in love and my best confidant. He's become my rock without realizing it and without knowing it yet. I barely want to leave this bed. I have no desire nor energy to get out of the comfort of the mattress but Jake is already awake and knowing, he's out there makes me force myself out of it. My guess is he's in the kitchen or the living room. I enter the bathroom, washing my face and following the typical morning routine. When I exit the room in my short PJ shorts and tank top, the smell of breakfast hits me. Jake is setting our fresh plates on the counter. The muscles of his shoulder blades are exposed as he only wears his favorite sweatpants, all worn out from the numerous washings they've gone through. He turns around, his eyes shining as he gives me a smile. He looks so content by just seeing me, my heart doing a small jump. He approaches me, pulling me closer to him by my waist. I move my arms over his neck, playing with his mess of hair. He never bothers to brush it in the morning unless he's going out, sporting the bed hair all day.

"Happy Anniversary." He says before kissing me. It's a gentle, lovely kiss that channels his love for me. I try to show him my love for him despite my lack of energy or desire, kissing him the same way he kisses me. Soft strokes and brushes of his tongue and lips. He pulls away slightly, only enough for our lips to feel each other's nearness. "I love you. Always."

"I love you. Always." I repeat in a whisper. No matter if things don't work out after he finds out, he will always hold a special place in my heart. Despite the baggage his career brings, Jake has always been attentive and vulnerable with me. He has allowed me to see the Jake nobody but his family has seen. Someone who wears his heart on his sleeve, someone who will give you his everything no matter the circumstances. And tonight, I'm allowing myself to be that person with him by revealing the only obstacle between us.

Jake takes my hand in his, guiding and sitting me on one of the breakfast bar stools. "I'll be back in a second." He pecks my lips before heading to the hallway. Seconds later, he returns with a rectangular black velvet box in hand. He opens it, extracting the piece of jewelry and setting the now empty box on the counter. It's a white gold necklace with a precious diamond in shape of a heart as a pendant. Jake moves my hair over my shoulder, bringing the necklace around my neck. He attaches lock before turning the stool around for me to face him. He cups my cheek in one of his hands. "This pendant symbolizes my heart and love. It's a promise of how I'll never cease to love you. Every time you see it, you'll be reminded of how you're the only one that can and will always hold it."

My eyes water at his words due to the emotion and sincerity his eyes hold as he speaks to me, expressing his feelings and thoughts. But they mainly water due to the insecurity and unworthiness I feel of his love for not being sincere with him. I know he won't notice I'm tearing up because of that, due to how good I've become at manipulating and hiding my feelings every time I hit an up or down. I remove his hand from my cheek and hug him tightly, allowing a few tears to escape. It's our six month anniversary but it somehow feels as if we were celebrating a longer period of time together, a bigger milestone in our relationship. He breaks the hug to clean my cheeks with his thumbs. "I didn't get--" I start saying but he interrupts me.

"I've told you this before. I don't get you things expecting to get something back from you. I already get enough and there's nothing more I would ask for no matter if it's materialistic or emotional." Jake states. Gentlemen always feel the need to give barely asking for something to receive. He kisses my forehead, then turning my stool around again as he sits next to me, finalizing the emotional moment. "Let's eat before it turns cold. Then we can watch a couple of movies until late afternoon and get ready." He grins, clearly excited about what he has planned for us tonight. Even in my state, I find myself anticipating what tonight will hold for us.

• • •

"Keep your eyes close, no peeking." Jake instructs me as he guides me out of the elevator and into a flight a stairs.

"I'm not but, what if I fall?" I question, taking tentative steps as I keep a vice grip on his arm and the railing of the stairs. My heels click on the cement of the staircase as we continue to go up.

"You won't." He laughs. "I'm holding you and I would never let you fall." He promises. I don't know where he's taking me all I know is we're still in the building of our apartment. I'm curious and desperate to know where we'll end up. "Be careful, this is the last step of the stair."

He turns me and we walk a couple of steps to my right before coming to a stop. Jake removes one hand from my body, I listen intently to his actions since I've been deprived from my vision. A set of keys is heard and then the turn of a doorknob, maybe of metal as I hear a rusty sound. The cold, bitter winter air hits my skin for short seconds as we walk. However, I'm then suddenly hit by warm air and the smell of simple vanilla. I can also hear the faint sound of jazz music. I sense Jake leave my side, his presence now behind me. His fingers reach the blindfold, removing it. My eyes adjust to the change of lighting as the piece of cloth is dropped to the floor. My hand instinctively goes to my lips in surprise. We are on the last floor of the building of our apartment, the open ceiling terrace that's surrounded by a small, protective ledge. We are inside a medium sized, transparent heated tent, providing us with the view of the clear night sky and the full moon surrounded by barely there stars who are beleaguered by New York's skyscrapers. There is a small rounded table in the middle of the tent with a white laced tablecloth and an elegant candelabrum in the middle. Two plates filled with still steaming food are also set on the table, shining metal silverware beside them. Several other candles are placed around the tent, providing a pleasant smell and a subtle, relaxing atmosphere along with the music.

"You haven't said anything." Jake mutters, bringing me out of my inspection.

I turn to face to him, reaching for his hand. "You've left me speechless. It's beautiful."

"I'm glad and relieved you liked it. I wasn't sure how you would feel about not being taken to an elegant, high class restaurant." Jake confesses. This is definitely better than going to a restaurant. It provides enough privacy and only the company of each other.

"I would have liked anything that you would've done." I say because it's the truth. Anything he puts effort into I like because it's the thought that counts.

He smiles, kissing my forehead. The smell of his cologne hits me, our proximity causing the fragrance to assault my nostrils. It's the aroma I've always known him to have. One I've grown accustomed to and would recognize anywhere.

We walk closer to the table. He pulls a chair out for me. I thank him, sitting down and then watching him walk to the seat across from me. The light coming from the candles, illuminating his features. The strong jawline smothered with a short stubble, the type that I like on him. His hair rustled from only the combing of his fingers instead of brushing it. Just as the lights hide but show some of his features, I'm hoping they do the same for mine and conceal the sad look and tired lines in my faces, I've manage to hide with minimal make-up.

"How did you manage all this?" I inquire as he takes a seat.

"With the help of a few janitors from the building and a chef." He shrugs. "One day after rehearsals, I went to the store you always go to buy candles and bought a few of your favorite one."

"L'Occitane." I correct him. His thoughtfulness provoking a small smile.

"Right. That one," he says. The fact that he went to the store, bought the candles and doesn't remember the name of the store but does remember my favorite candle scent is amusing.

We begin to eat in a comfortable, soothing silence. I try my best to eat most of the food due to the lack of appetite I feel. Jake steals a few glances my way, making me shuffle on my seat a bit. Before Jake, the act of other men staring at me wasn't pleasant. I felt like their glowers were judgmental as though they were comparing my features to other women's feature. It made feel insecure and unappealing. With Jake, I've never felt that feeling again. His eyes never wander to other women. His stare has always been on me and has always hold an emotion that has made me feel wanted. He loves me, wants me, desires me and with just one glance he's able to tell me that.

"Why are you staring?" I ask, a tiny small threatening to appear.

"I like seeing you with my necklace." My hand instinctively goes to the piece of jewelry as he mentions it. It's no wonder that the act of Jake liking me wearing his necklace is possessive and to be honest, it doesn't faze me. Jake has a possessive aura he doesn't always display but I'm aware it's always there. Whether we are with friends or surrounded by people he knows, the possessiveness is always lurking. Never in an overwhelming way, just enough for me and everyone to know it's there.

After we're finished eating, Jake instructs me to stand up and hold the curtain of the tent. He grabs our dishes and hands them to a janitor who appears at the door of the ceiling terrace, swiftly disappearing after taking hold of them. Jake moves the candelabrum from the table to the floor, then moving the empty small table to a corner of the tent as well as the pair of chairs. He grabs a folded quilt I never noticed from the same corner of tent and opens it spreading it on the floor. Even though we didn't really go out, he really planned out this night. By the mischief on his eyes, I know there's more to come. Jake tends to always overdo things in the best way possible. If he's giving me more, then I will also. I'll figure out what I'll get him as an anniversary present once I'm out of this low. I've been so distracted, I forgot to get him something, making me feel like even more of a shit girlfriend. I want to tell him about it but I haven't found the right moment and I don't want to ruin this perfect night.

"Hey, you left me for a second." Jake breaks my thoughts, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear before cupping my face. He locks our lips for a short second.

"I'm sorry," I speak. "I was just thinking about how amazing you are for doing all of this."

"It's all for you. I'd do anything for you."

"I know." I tell him, pulling him closer to me by his waist. "And I'd do anything for you."

My words create a smile on his face. He fuses our lips in a slow, passionate kiss, teasing the seams of each other's mouth. We're on a terrace, open to view to all the neighboring buildings and I don't care. All that matters is him and me. What tonight is about; us celebrating half a year together. He barely pulls away, suggesting, "Let's lay down."

I sit down, removing my heels prior to laying down next to Jake. One of his arms is bent behind his head, serving as somewhat a pillow for him. He draws me closer to him, propping one of my legs to be between his. My head rests on the crook of his arm with his hand drawing soothing patterns on my back. The transparent ceiling of the tent allows us to see the beautiful sky, creating a more relaxing atmosphere. I wouldn't say we're stargazing since it's impossible to stargaze in New York City but just the gazing of the moon and the multiple lights is enough. I shift my head up to look as his face, deep in thought.

"What's on your mind?"

"The future," Jake replies, turning his face to meet me.

"What do see in the future?" I ask him, tentatively, afraid of what his answer might be.

He maintains eye contact. "Us. Together." He says, "By this time next year, I'll have you engage to me."

My heart flutters at his confession, excited at how sure he is of our future together. "Don't you think people are going to think we're going too fast? Especially the media."

"No." Jake doesn't falter to answer. "All I care about is making you mine."

"I am already yours." I remind him, moving my hand to rest on his chest. Right on top of his heart.

"Officially and legally." He clarifies.

This would be the perfect time to tell him but I can't ruin this perfect bubble. This perfect moment of him contemplating his future with me. Just to burst it by telling him something nobody would want to deal with. I will tell him just not on this perfect night. It'll be this week. I won't go longer than that. I move my head to connect my lips with his. He meets them, removing his hand from behind his head to deepen the kiss. I move from his side to on top of him, straddling him. He sits up, making it more comfortable for both us and groans into the kiss when I move further into his lap.

"One day." I promise him against his lips.

He seems content and satisfied with my response. We stay on the tent until after midnight, talking and sometimes just quiet, listening to each other's breathing. In these moments of silence, I get to plan how and when I'll tell him. Wednesday when we go home after his debut performance on Good Morning America. That day will be the fateful day. 72 hours from now.