Extra ::: A Look Into The Future.

"Hey buddy boy," I greet him, pulling him from Sky's grasp and onto my hip, holding him in my arms as I enter the kitchen.

It's hard to believe he's one year old, almost two. He's a restless machine of energy ever since the baby babbles and crawling began, driving Sky crazy around the penthouse every day. Sky blames me for his hyperactive after Ethan threw me under the bus by confirming her suspicions. It doesn't help either that Ryder is basically a carbon copy of me.

Like every newborn, his eyes were a dark blue that eventually became green like mine and didn't go darker like Sky's.

I've been convincing her about a second baby just cause. We've talk about adding to the family ever since Ryder turned one and concurred on a total of three children -- or four if we don't get a girl before the three. I spoil Ryder rotten, everyone in the family does and he's surprisingly more of a daddy's boy than mommy's boy, but I would love to have a little princess too.

"Me and Mommy make cookies." He shoves a big, salivated crumb of chocolate chip cookie in my face.

"That's nice, bud, but it's made. Made." I emphasize, correcting his mistake.

His mistakes are quite frequent. It's cute he still doesn't have the hang on language.

Ryder nods, determined.

"May-d." He enunciates, after taking a bite of his cookie.

Sky laughs, coming closer and placing her hand on my waist. She greets me with a peck on the lips, a grin on her lips as she turns to Ry. "No talking with your mouth full, bunny."

Ryder has maintained his bunny nickname as well as me. I'm not against it at all. I love it, actually. Albeit, it can get confusing at times when we're both in the room and she refers to either of us as bunny and we both turn her way.

"Are they good?"

Ryder nods, continuing to excitedly chew on the piece of cookie he's probably had for the last two hours.

"Did you leave me any?"

He shakes his head, grinning with mischief and taking pleasure from it.

The cheeky, little shit.

Sky grins, shaking her head at our son's delight. "He's kidding. There's two more pans left in the oven."

"You think you're funny, yeah?"

Ryder nods, grinning as I playfully throw him a bit up and catch him. His piece of cookie falling to the floor as he giggles.

"Again?" I peer up at him as I still hold him up.

He nods, his hands going to his mouth in anticipation.

"Jake, please."

Sky doesn't like it that I do that to him. She worries more than a mother would and I like it. Ryder might not like it as he grows older, but I enjoy her disapproval when I do something she deems dangerous. Maybe it's because it's Ryder and me against her and she can't say no to either of us, especially Ry.

"Just one more time." I tell as both Ryder and I look at her. "I promised him."

I throw him up and Ryder laughs again. Sky shakes her head at the both of us. Sometimes, especially in moments like this, I can't help but think that she believes she's raising two children instead of one.

I sit him on the granite counter, placing my hand in his back just for safety.

"More? Pwease." Ryder pointing to his mushy piece of cookie on the floor to Sky.

I'm pretty sure he has eaten more than half of the pan already, but the little guy has a sweet tooth that Sky often struggles to control.

"You've eaten three already," Sky starts, showing him three fingers. "I'll give you another one but you have to share it with Daddy."

"Yeah?" I ask him.

He nods quickly, trying to get out of my grasp to reach for the pan on the stove.

"Ryder." I scold him. He stops wiggling. "Sit. Mommy will get it for you."

He pouts, impatient.

The kid is definitely something. I mean, I'm his father so it's no surprise.

*************

"I didn't think putting him to bed would be possible tonight after all the cookie munching he did today." Sky comments, getting into bed.

She laughs, saying, "I started to regret having suggested making cookies after he started his second one and showed no signs of stopping."

I pull her to bed, grabbing her left hand her wedding ring shining under the gleam of her nightstand lamp as she stands by the edge of her side of the bed in a soft pink nightie.

We've had alone time since Ryder was born more frequently than I thought we would after having him. We've learned how to work around him and satisfy ourselves sometimes rather quickly either because we have to or it's been longer than we usually remain celibate.

I returned to making music when Ryder was almost three months old. By the time he was seven months, a new single was dropped. I wanted to wait longer -- but couldn't because I knew something would end up interceding with one of Ryder's milestones. Several of them which I wasn't willing to miss; his first birthday being one of them as well as his first steps and word.

"Ma" was his first word but in my defense he took his first steps with me so Sky and I became even.

I smirk. "Come here."

"Jake..."

I bring her to my lap. "Shh... lets just try." I kiss her neck, all the way to her jaw until a reach the shell of her ear. "Just tonight."

I pull back to see her face. "Please."

Sky looks hesitant and I don't want to continue to pressure her. "I don't know..."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm late. I don't think we should try until I know something."

We haven't been trying for long due to lack of time and it's sort of been like a hit or miss type of thing. Sky wants another baby, but she isn't obsessed over it enough to track her ovulation cycle so every time we had sex, we did it more for our pleasure and intimacy than for a purpose.

We've had pregnancy scares, for lack of a better word, before and they've turned out to be negative. Sky has learned to stay tentative about them until she goes to the doctor and gets a check up to find out what's up.

However, tonight now that we're alone, she seems more hesitant than usual and also almost sad.

"You're not telling everything, Petal."

Her eyes slightly water as she leans her forehead against mine and takes a deep, shuddering breath. "I hate feeling like we're playing this Russian Roulette every time I think of him or having more.

"We don't even know if he inherited it yet and it'll be years from now before we get to. I just... I hate feeling like a villain, infesting him or them with this thing they didn't ask for."

She pulls back, a few tears escaping her eyes and by the look of them I know she's breaking. Her mind is breaking.

She didn't bake the three pans of cookies today because she felt like it. Sky does these things to distract herself and keep her mind from hitting a higher or lower point when she senses it coming.

It's hard for her to take care of Ryder when she hits these episodes. If she's manic, she'll be too distracted to acknowledge him, tells him to do things he still can't do or blames him for conspiracies and theories there's no way he can't participate in. If she's low, she won't leave bed not even for his cries. She'll be like this breathing corpse, lying in bed all day. We've only had three episodes since he was born, only one of them ending with her hospitalized for two days.

It paints her as a terrible mom and although they're not frequent because she takes medication, I know her just having the illness is enough of a reminder of her actions for her.

By now, I've learned how to try my best to bring her out of them but sometimes they're too far out of my and her medications' reach.

If I knew trying was going to be putting this amount of pressure on her, I would have never suggested it. Ryder was a welcomed surprise. Planning the arrival of a new baby is a new experience for us. One that's proven to be too big for her.

"Hey," I clean her wet cheeks with my thumbs. "Just like they aren't asking for it, you didn't also. Everything's going to be okay. You're giving too much power and control to your mind again. By listening to those insecurities, you're letting yourself fall.

"He needs you, Sky. Don't let your bipolar disorder win. I don't like seeing you like that. Ryder could never hate you or see you as a villain. You know you're his hero. He loves you just as much as I love you. Don't believe your pretty little mind when you feel like this. You know better."

She seems calmer after I finish. It takes a couple of days for her medication to balance her out of the beginnings of an episode. However, I'm hoping my words helped her and speed up the process.

"I love you."

I maintain eye contact as I peer down a little bit and kiss the small tattoo on her collarbone.

I wish I could make it go away, but her mental illness can't be cured. Only controlled. It really pains me to see her like this; struggling with herself. She tries so hard not to let Ryder meet this side of her. She's afraid all he'll remember of his childhood is her in a state of mind.

She has cloudy days and today is one of them.