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OLIVER FLETCHER

PAST
SEPTEMBER 2018

Ruby, Peter and I turned up at the party around nine o'clock. We had stopped at the off-licence on the way over and I grabbed a bottle of vodka and orange juice. I would drink that stuff over beer any day.

The flat was packed but there was enough space to move between people, just waiting for the police to come and break up the party but I guess this was known for students.

Peter guides us to the kitchen and hands us plastic cups, making myself a drink and taking a large gulp. Listening to slow trance music boom through the apartments.

"There's a garden out back," Peter shouts to us over the loud music.

We both nod back to him as he takes us through to the living space, Peter perches on the edge of the sofa and Ruby stands close to him.

There was clear chemistry between them but I didn't know anyone here, not wanting to start walking around like a loner to give them space. Sipping on my drink as Peter stops a group of people and introduces Ruby and I to them.

Grateful that another set of people were now here, instead of my third wheeling. I find myself in a conversation with two girls, talking away about their final projects for the end of the year. Intrigued, I listened to their ideas, occasionally they'd ask about me but I quickly shoot the conversation back to them.

My eyes glance over at Ruby as she perches down onto Peter's lap, her arm wrapped around his shoulders.

"What are you guys saying, shots?" Peter looks around the circle as he points at everyone.

Ruby claps excitedly. "Yes, yes. Let's do shots."

The two girls I was chatting with already dart across the room to the kitchen, finding mini shot glasses and alcohol. "Come!" Ruby grabs onto my arm.

"I'll give it a miss," I tell her. "I'm gonna get some air."

She shrugs towards me before Peter folds his arms across her shoulder. "Your loss," she smiles to me. "Come find me in a bit."

I nod back at her and turn towards the back door, desperate for some fresh air and a space to breathe. Parties are rather overwhelming, especially with so many people.

Pressing down onto the door handle and swinging it open, the cool air whipping me in the face as I take three steps down to the little patio. Not even bothering to look who was outside smoking around the outdoor table.

Raising my cup to my lips and taking a slow sip, perching against the brick wall between gardens, needing a moment to try and relax before I ran home and jumped into bed.

"You made it," Max's deep voice almost makes me choke on my drink. He waltzes over me from across the garden, stomping out his cigarette with his shoe in the process.

"Yeah," I breathe out quietly. "I made it." Wish I didn't.

His hands bury into his jacket pocket as he stands across from me. "I'm Max," he says suddenly. "I don't think I got the chance to introduce myself."

"I know," I blubber out quickly.

His dark eyes widened slightly at my response. "Oh, you already know?" His voice sounded playful.

"My friend asked who you were and Peter told her," I shrug as his eyes remain on mine.

"I bet that's what happened, Oliver."

My eyes narrow towards him at the tone he spoke my name in. "It is what happened," I shoot back, sipping on my drink again and looking elsewhere.

"Right," Max nods as he pokes his tongue into his cheek briefly.

"Did you need something?" I ask as I look back at him with confusion.

"Am I not allowed to talk to you?" He responds with a small laugh, bringing his cup up to his lips again. My eyes running over the array of rings across his fingers.

"Depends what the reason is for," I say seriously.

Max's eyes narrow at me. "To get to know you," he tells me.

"Why?"

"Because I'm interested in you," he says boldly, causing my stomach to flip inside of me.

My eyes study him for a few moments, unsure what his real intentions were. "You don't know me." I say stubbornly.

"Not yet," he smirks towards me, drinking from his cup as he remains eye contact. "We should go out some time."

"Is this some kind of joke?"

Max pulls back for a moment and shares a confused glance with me. "Why would this be a joke?"

Something in my mind wasn't adding up, there must be another reason why Max is adamant to get to know me. No guys ever approach me like this, tell me that we should go out. Something felt off and I didn't know if I should trust my gut or take a chance.

"Because shit like this doesn't happen to me," I say eventually. "People like you don't talk to me."

Max's lips crack into a beautiful smile that I didn't want to even admit. "Well they do," he says smoothly. "University is a place to meet people you might not usually meet, people from all spectrums of life."

My lips swish at his words. "Haven't you got another fresher to pick on?" I say sourly.

He chuckles and looks down to the floor quickly. "So now you admit you're a fresher?"

My eyes roll towards him, I really didn't have the patience for this. For his stupid prank or sheer humilation that he was currently trying to get me to fall for.

Max steps forward, his body almost against mine, dipping his head to my ear. "You're in your first year, you should start saying yes more. You'll have fun, trust me." He mumbles quietly before taking off into the house and shutting the door behind him.

I keep my eyes trained on him through the window as he worms his way through the party.

You should start saying yes more.

For a moment I ponder, I know that I've always been shy and reserved but maybe I didn't need to be like that here. Maybe he was right, maybe I needed to give things a chance. Saying no and staying shielded might leave me regretting things when I'm older.

The idea of spontaneity seemed alien to me but maybe I needed to loosen up and enjoy my university days. I wouldn't get a time like this again.

PRESENT
JANUARY 2021

Jamie boils the kettle as I scrunch myself up into a ball on the sofa. The tears had stopped but the aching inside my heart felt like I had been ripped open and all those old emotions had finally come flooding back.

I wouldn't even wish this type of pain on someone else, heartbreak isn't something to be taken lightly.

You lay up in bed, day in, day out asking why you weren't good enough?

Why would the person you trusted the most in the whole entire world break your trust in a couple of seconds?

It convinces you that everything you had together was a lie, all those times you laughed, you cried, you loved each other. Meant nothing. And that broke me more that I thought it would.

Does Max not remember those times we'd lay up in bed crying with laughter? We'd support each other, console each other and adore each other.

And yet, all of that still wasn't enough.

I gave Max my all, every little fibre left inside of my body. I gave it to him, wearing my heart on my sleeve because I never thought something like this would ever happen. Especially without some form of explanation.

Jamie hands me a hot cup of tea and slides in beside me. I thank him quietly before placing it onto the side, grabbing a grey blanket and wrapping it around my body.

"What happened?" He asks gently.

"He was just fucking there, at the bar." I spit out angrily. "So he can happily come home and be going out having fun and still have no fucking decency to contact me. Fuck, I hate him. I fucking hate him!"

Jamie wraps his arm around my shoulder and rubs his hand up and down the fabric. "He doesn't deserve you Oli," he whispers.

"He stopped me on the street." I carry on, focusing on the picture I painted last year that was hanging on the wall.

"And said what?"

"He asked if I would let him explain," I shake my head and bury it into the pillow.

"Oli, he doesn't get to treat you like this. It's not fair and he's not thinking about you. He's thinking about himself."

My eyes burn as I turn to Jamie. "Do you think I should listen to what he has to say?"

He shrugs towards me and sighs. "I can't tell you what to do but if you want to hear him out then go, but make him grovel for your forgiveness. Don't let him trample all over you, you are not the same person you were two years ago. Stay strong and don't let him belittle you."

"I'm scared," I admit. "I don't want to just all of a sudden allow him to explain."

Jamie shakes his head instantly. "Then don't," he states. "If he's as serious as he says he is, he'll stick around and wait until you're ready to listen to him. Don't just jump into it now, make him wait."

My head slowly nods towards him. "I just can't believe he has the audacity to even come around here without a fucking word," my teeth grit tightly. "Does he think that word wouldn't get out that he was home and I'd just be okay with it?!"

"He doesn't deserve you," Jamie repeats. "Please remember that."

"I hate him so much Jamie," I say with a small sob, tears dribbling out of my eyes.

His expression softens at my sudden outburst.

"But I still love him," I cry as Jamie pulls me into him, wrapping his arms around me tightly. "I'm so fucking confused."

"You're going to be," he whispers to me as he rubs up and down my back. "Your wounds are still fresh, especially now he's turned up out of the blue. Your emotions are going to be all over the place."

"It hurts so bad," I shake my head over and over, the feeling of my heart clenching tightly made me feel nauseous. Like my stomach was about to flip any second and I'd be vomiting all over the floor.

"Time," he speaks. "Time will heal this."

"But it's already been over a year!" I exclaim frustratedly. "I shouldn't be feeling like this now."

"If you still love him Oli, it's going to be hard seeing him. No matter how long it's been since you last saw him."

"Then what do you mean time?" I mumble, wiping my tears away with the back of my hand.

"Time between now and whenever you're going to let him explain, time between now and when you decide whether or not you forgive him." He tells me, not letting go of my body.

"It will just take a bit more time until you're no longer feeling like this," he says quietly. "I promise you this won't last forever. You deserve happiness above all else."

My brain sinks in his words as I rest my head back against the sofa, Jamie eventually pulls his body away from mine. "I'm scared I'm going to bump into him again, or he tracks me down and fuck."

"Hey," Jamie shakes his head. "Stop panicking, if he does. Tell him to respect your space, if he can't do that then he belongs to the streets."

"I feel awful," I sulk, my stomach twisting in knots.

"I bet," Jamie frowns towards me. "Why don't you go and take a hot bath and just try to relax? Whack on some Netflix and just destress."

"Maybe," I sniffle.

"I'm here if you want to talk," he tells me gently.

"Thank you," I say through watery eyes. "I appreciate it Jamie."

. . .

Chapters 4, 5, 6 and 7 are on Patreon now. Link in bio or link is www.Patreon.com/dreammcatcher

Hey my loves!!!

What did you think of this chapter?

Can't wait to share more of the story because we are only just getting started hehehe

What is your favourite kind of tropes in a bxb book?

I love a bit of jealousy but a tonne of fluff

Thanks for reading! See you guys on the next one, Sav x

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