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OLIVER FLETCHER

PAST
MAY 2019

"How do I look?" Max questions as he emerges from his bathroom, his hands adjusting his black tie. My eyes gravitating to his fingers covered in rings, then to his luscious suit and gorgeous face.

I smile as I perch up on his bed. "Looking as handsome as ever," I comment.

Max grins in my direction as he straightens out his blazer and fixes his cuffs. "Not as handsome as you," he responds.

My head instantly shakes towards him as I push myself up from the bed and stand directly in front of him. "Today's not about me," I say as I swipe my hand across his shoulder gently. "It's about you and you look amazing."

He leans down to catch my lips in a sweet kiss, taking my hand in his as he smiles. "Thanks for coming," he nods.

"Of course," I say instantly. "I wouldn't miss coming to see your final work for the world."

"We should go," Max presses one final kiss to my lips. "I don't want to be late."

Max's hand pulls my body out of his room and downstairs, taking the short walk to campus towards the art auditorium. I could tell he was nervous but I didn't want to point it out, although being nervous was completely normal.

Having a lot of people view your work is a scary experience, especially to your friends and your boyfriend. But I knew how talented he was and that he had nothing to worry about.

Campus was heaving with parents, students, and teachers. Everyone wanted to come and see the exhibition, they were third years and it was a perfect opportunity for inspiration. I know that I'm definitely keeping my mental notepad out.

Max locates some of his course friends, I had met a few of them before but it was nice to see them all together one last time. Sharing what they all loved so equally.

Their head of department makes a speech, congratulating everyone on their hard work. Expressing his gratitude for their determination to create the best pieces of art imaginable. Max's hand links through mine and he squeezes gently as we listen to the speech.

After five or so minutes we are free to look around the auditorium and admire the art pieces. Max stops to look at a painting but I carry on walking, my eyes catching the attention of his name across the room.

I couldn't stop my wandering eyes, looking over every little illustration that Max had created. The detail and definition was like no other, clean and cut. Crisp to the dot. Everything about it looked perfect, no wobbly lines or mistakes.

The piece was a comic book sketch, travelling from one side of the page to the other. Even though the only colours used was a black pen and grey shading, it looked vibrant to me. Some of the drawings looking three dimensional as they jump out of the page.

Nothing could tear my eyes away from this masterpiece, and yet he was scared for people to see.

A hand is pressed to the small of my back, I turn my head as Max's shoulder lightly budges mine. "Max," I say quietly. "This is honestly amazing."

He shrugs and looks away from his own work. "It's alright, I guess."

"You guess?" I say in disbelief, my mouth hanging open. "You could be an illustrator for an animated film or an actual comic book. Max this is beyond perfect."

His dark eyes move up to mine, slowly flicking between them. "Thanks," he nods once.

My lips fall into a small frown as I cup the side of his face, feeling his warm skin underneath my fingers. "I wish you could see how amazing this is to me," I tell him. "You deserve to give yourself more credit, this is incredible and I won't stop telling you until you believe it."

Max's mouth cracks open into a small smile, he looks down to the floor but I don't remove my hand. "I'll take your word for it," he tells me but I instantly shake my head.

"You don't need to take my word for it, you need to believe it yourself," I say honestly. "I wish that I was half as good as you are. Your ideas are beyond creative and sometimes I wish I had your brain."

A small laugh escapes Max's mouth as he nudges his forehead against mine. "No you don't," he says with a grin. "I love your brain as it is."

"Max!" A voice shouts from behind us, his friends coming over to view his final piece.

I happily step out of the way, watching as their face turns to shock as they see his comic book art, each of them turning silent as they admire the piece.

Dotty, one of Max's closest course friends gives him a big hug. "I knew you could do it," she tells him brightly and Max hugs her back.

"Thanks for helping me in class," he responds.

Dotty pulls back before he's swarmed by his other friends, her curious eyes find mine as she smiles and approaches me. "Hey Oli," she says as she pushes up the sleeves on her jacket, an array of bangles falling down her wrist.

"Hi Dotty," I nod back.

"I'm gonna miss him, you know?" She sighs out. "Well I'm going to miss everyone but Max really has talent and I'll miss watching him doddle endlessly."

"I know," I say instantly. "I wish that he could see it like we do."

Dotty's mouth pouts for a second at my words. "Although I have to say, without you. God knows if he would have completed his final year."

My head twists slightly as my eyebrows furrow. "Really?"

"Really," she nods instantly. "He needed someone to calm him down for his this year, you've really brought out the best in him. Last year he didn't really care and I was worried he'd throw everything away, even though he is super good at what he does."

I look away from Dotty for a second to glance at Max, he was laughing and smiling. Seeing him like this was all I've ever wanted, success and achievements. He deserved it.

"So you did well at taming the beast," she laughs quietly as she presses a hand to my shoulder. "I've never seen him like this before and it's really nice to see. He really cares about you Oli."

"I know," I nod with a smile.

"Where we going after this?" Dotty declares as she turns back to her friends, Max's eyes catching mine for a brief second.

"We could go to Harlow's bar," a guy beside Max speaks up.

They all nod in unison as Dotty turns back to me. "You coming?"

"Most definitely."

PRESENT
APRIL 2021

I laid on the sofa for far too long, I was even making a dent in the material. But I couldn't move, I didn't have any energy to get up and do something with my life. My mind couldn't stop playing Logan's words on repeat in my head, like a broken record.

But I was the one that was broken, I am a broken human that just ruins other people's lives.

The lock on the door opens and I hear footsteps shuffle into the flat, then a deep sigh as the door slams behind them. After a few moments Jamie appears in front of me, perching on the sofa beside my legs.

"What the hell is going on Oli?" He asks as he drops his bag to the floor.

My eyes remain on the ceiling, not having a clue what to say.

"You've been like this for five days and I'm not having it anymore," he shakes his head suddenly. "What is going on?

I swipe my legs away from his body and place them onto the floor, burying my head into my hands. A new batch of tears escaping my eyes as I rub them into my skin, attempting not to let a sob leave my throat.

"What has he done?" Jamie says harshly, pressing a hand to my shoulder.

My hands drop and I look up at him. "What?"

"Max," he states instantly. "What has he done now?"

My lips tremble as I shake my head. "Nothing," I state. "He hasn't done anything."

Jamie's eyes drop and flick between mine. "Then what is going on?"

"My life is just a fucking mess Jamie," I snap causing him to flinch slightly.

"What's happened?"

"Am I broken?"

"What?" He recoils at my words.

"Am I broken?" I repeat.

"No Oli, you're not broken."

I sigh harshly and bury my head back into my hands, grunting in discomfort. My phone vibrates from beside me and I reach over to grab it slowly, Max's name flashing up on the screen.

My stomach twists in knots knowing that I have been ignoring him ever since Logan came over and gave me a piece of his mind.

"Who is it?" Jamie questions as I unlock my phone and click on our messages.

Max

Saturday

I had the best time tonight with you

I hope you're okay after what happened

Monday

Do you want to grab some coffee today or tomorrow?

Wednesday

Oliver, is everything okay?

Thursday

Have I done something wrong?

If I've said something then I'm sorry

Jamie takes my phone and inspects the messages. "Why are you ignoring him?"

"I don't know," I sigh out as I take back the phone and throw it onto the pillow beside me. "I'm just scared Jamie."

"Of what?"

"When he left, technically we broke up but was I really single?" I question towards Jamie.

He watches me for a moment, not speaking a word.

"I was dating, sleeping around doing all sorts to fill the void in my heart. I never gave myself a chance to be single, and now I've realised how bad that was for me. I've just been using other people to make me feel better," I say as I wipe my watery eyes. "I'm such a fucking dick Jamie."

"No you're not," he shuffles up to cup my shoulder with his arm. "You were heartbroken Oli and sometimes the company of others is what we need to get through it. Everyone adjusts to heartbreak differently, and if getting underneath someone helped you get over it, then that is what you needed. End of Oli."

"But I wasn't thinking about them," I shake my head. "I was just thinking about me."

"Of course you were, you had your heart ripped from your body and trampled on." He shakes his head towards me. "You went through hell and back this last year and I think you need to give yourself credit for coming out the other side, still strong."

"I just don't know what to do," I grumble out.

"With Max?"

I nod my head and Jamie sighs, dropping his head to my shoulder. "I know you still like him Oli and that you care for him."

"But maybe this isn't what I need," I shake my head. "Jumping back into this with him so quickly, after I was devastated for months."

"You don't have to jump into anything," Jamie clarifies. "If you want to hang out, then hang out. If Max is true to what he says, then he's not going anywhere anytime soon. You guys have all the time to figure this shit out."

My head turns towards him as I watch his green eyes smile towards me with support. "I know what you guys are like when you're together, you're unstoppable, always laughing, joking. He made you happy Oli, he just shouldn't be the main source of your happiness."

"I know," I nod. "I know I shouldn't be relying on anyone, I just had a tough year and I lost myself for a bit. I'm not depressed, maybe a little sad, but I'm confused and unsure what I should be feeling."

"Talk to him," he nudges my side. "Don't ignore him and make this situation worse."

"And tell him that we should take things slow?"

"Tell him whatever you want," he smiles towards me. "Only you know what you want to say, what you need. And by the looks of things you want him Oli, maybe it's scary for you to admit but you guys were in love. That doesn't just go away."

"You're right," I nod.

"I always am," he smirks towards me, squeezing my shoulder.

. . .

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Hello my loves. What did you think of this chapter?

Jamie coming through with the true advice, only you know what you want to do, you should be the one making choices without influence from others.

Oli really is on a journey of finding who he is, Max might have impacted his life but he's working towards figuring out who he is as an individual

Hope everyone is well!

See you guys on the next one, love Sav x

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