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MAX COSTELLO

PAST
NOVEMBER 2019

The sound of the vibrating needle echoes off the tattoo parlour walls, laying on my front as Rhys inks up a section on my back that had been looking bare for a while now. I had been itching to get it tattooed, I hated parts of my skin that looked empty, they looked a thousand times better with a drawing.

"So," Rhys pulls back and turns off the machine, he wipes my back and tips the needle in ink. "That guy you brought with you last time you came."

"Oliver?"

"Yeah," he nods before switching on the machine, the vibrating becoming closer to my skin. "He your boyfriend?"

"Sure is," I smile as I rest my head down onto my hands.

Rhys hums with a smile. "Cute but he is definitely not what I had imagined." He comments.

I furrow my eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"Dunno I guess I thought you'd be into a guy with loads of tattoos, piercings, dark hair, dressed like a biker." He chuckles quietly.

He presses the needle back to my skin and I release a sigh. "You mean a twin of myself?"

Rhys pauses for a moment and laughs again. "I didn't really think about it like that," he says over the loud vibrating. "He's just very innocent and you look like the bad boy from those romance novels."

It's my turn to laugh as I shake my head. "I do not look like a bad boy from a book," I say dismissively. "I guess I didn't really know what kind of guys I was into either but as soon as I saw Oliver I knew it was him. His innocence makes him perfect but still keeping it edgy with his septum piercing, God, I love that piercing."

He pulls back with wide eyes. "Jheez, are you whipped or what?"

"Shut up," I grumble playfully.

"It's nice to see you like this," he admits. "Never really saw you as a relationship person but when I saw you together, it made sense."

I nod slowly. "It does make sense," I say as I glance at the wall, full of tattoo stencils. "It makes so much sense."

"You reckon he's the one?" Rhys questions as he pulls back and places down the tattoo gun and wipes my fresh ink.

"Yes," I say instantly. "He is the one without a doubt. I'll never meet someone like him ever in my life. If I ever lost him, I'd be lost myself. The world turns weird when you're in love, like you'd do absolutely anything for them. Scary but committed."

Rhys hums along to my words. "Well I'm glad you're happy Max, needed someone to cheer up your moody ass."

I roll my eyes as I watch him dampen a piece of tissue and smooth over the new tattoo on my skin. "I wasn't even that moody," I mumble. "Just anti-social, hating people who weren't on my wavelength."

"I have no idea how you slept around with as many people as you did with that grumpy personality," he jokes and I move my hand to swat his shoulder.

"It's all in the charm you see," I give him a side eye. "Oliver loved it so it worked."

Rhys pulls back in his wheely chair. "Go have a look in the mirror."

I nod and push up from the leather bed and proceed to the full length mirror across the room. My body turns and I peer over my shoulder, my eyes gravitate down to the tattoo on the back of my ribs.

The most perfect strawberry I had ever seen. The lines were so perfect and crispy it almost looked like a sticker with all the small details and curved lines.

"Oliver's favourite fruit is strawberry or what?" Rhys calls out across the room.

"No," I shoot back instantly as I glare over him. "Maybe."

He chuckles and it bounces off the walls. "Whatever man, hope you like it."

I smile and glance back in the mirror. "It looks great, I love it."

"Come," Rhys pats the seat. "Let me wrap it up for you."

"Sure," I say, waltzing across the room and sitting down on the bed.

Rhys places a protective film over my back and I slide my T-shirt back over my body. "Thanks man," I nod as he pulls off his gloves and shakes my hand. "Good to see you."

"Let's not leave it so long next time," he grins.

"Agreed."

I take the short journey back to Oliver's flat where I had agreed to meet him. It was a Saturday afternoon and I would be furious if he was at university in the studios. He promised me this morning that we'd have a no work weekend and chill out together.

But I wouldn't hold him to that just yet, not before I got to his apartment and saw for myself.

My fist raises to knock at his door, I could hear rushing and then scurrying against the floor. The sound of something crashing makes my eyes widen. What the fuck was going on?

"Oliver?" I call out as I furrow my brows.

After a few seconds Oliver opens the door, he attempts to swipe himself down quickly but I had already clocked. I give him an eye as I study his body language.

"Hey," he exhales almost breathlessly.

"Were you doing uni work?" I flex an eyebrow.

"No," his voice shoots over mine. "No I wasn't."

"Hmmmm," I say as I push through into his flat and take one look around, it wasn't tidy. Oliver's flat is never spotless but something seemed off. My feet walk towards the sitting area and I peer over the coffee table. I squat down to the floor and peer over the wood before seeing a splodge of fluorescent orange on the rim.

I drag my finger along the edge, the paint catching on the tip. Slowly, I turn back around to Oliver who was standing in front of the door, his sleeves pulled over his fists.

"What's this?" I ask calmly.

Oliver glances at my finger and opens his mouth before shrugging. "Sriracha?" He offers me an unconvincing smile.

"Really?" I play along before raising my finger to my nose and taking a large sniff. The acrylic paint almost paralysed me, having forgotten how strong it smelled. "Really smells like sriracha." I comment sarcastically.

He grunts and releases his fists from his sleeves, his paint splattered hands emerging from the fabric. "Fine," he mumbles. "You got me okay."

"We said no work this weekend," I shake my head as I smear the paint into my finger before I get it all over my clothes.

"I-I just wanted to do a little bit more," he raises his hand to show his thumb and index finger merely a centimetre apart. "You were gone getting your tattoo and Jamie went out on a date and I was bored. I didn't know what else to do."

"Read a book, take a bath, watch a movie, hell... even masturbate! Oliver, you need to get your work life balance right. You're going to burn yourself out when you need energy the most." My voice raises causing Oliver to shrink into his shoulders.

"I know," he sighs and glances down at the floor. "It's like I have a severely unhealthy obsession with it but I can't help it. It's like I'm convinced I'm wasting time if I do nothing."

I shake my head as I approach him. "You need down time Oliver," I lower my tone. "I honestly can't say it enough."

"I think something's wrong with me," he frowns, the pitch in his voice making my heart pang.

He looks up at me once and I take quick steps to meet him across the room. "Nothing is wrong with you baby," I say gently as I wrap my arms around him.

Oliver buries his head into my chest and releases a loud sigh. "I think there is. I can't stop thinking about it for a second, even in the middle of the night I wake up and want to carry on, no matter what the time is. That's not right, Max."

I clutch the back of his head and softly caress his hair. "Do you think you need to talk to someone about it?" I suggest.

He hums softly, then he doesn't reply for a few moments.

"It's okay to admit if you think you do?"

"Maybe," he nods. "I know they have counsellors and groups on campus to help with coursework stress."

"Then maybe you should enquire about it? What harm will it do to just turn up and see what they have to say?" I whisper, my arms pulling back slowly to take his face in my hands.

Oliver's green eyes slowly drag up to mine, he nods. "Yeah, you're right." He agrees. "I was just a bit worried about what you'd think."

I frown instantly and shake my head. "What do you mean what I'd think?" I repeat. I didn't intend for my voice to sound so harsh but I realised this came across obvious when Oliver blinks back at me.

"I-I," his voice gets caught in his throat. "I just feel awkward talking about it and I was worried you'd think I was overreacting and I didn't need help."

My head shakes quickly. "Oliver, I want what's best for you. That doesn't affect me at all. If you want to speak to someone, I want you to feel better. There is nothing more important to me than your health, if you think that I'd brush it off then you don't know me at all."

His eyes widen, a wash of guilt over his face. "No Max, I didn't mean it like that." His words jumble slightly. "I've never really spoken about this outloud, in my head it sounded stupid and I was convinced everyone else would think it was stupid too."

"Nothing regarding your mental health is stupid Oliver, I promise you. Some people might not understand but I do and I want you to get the help that you want and need." I exhale slowly as I flick my eyes between his.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, tears filtering in his eyes. "I'm such a dick, I shouldn't have said that."

"Hey," I mumble as I wrap my body over his again. "Don't think about it, I know that's not what you meant. Nothing you could say to me I'd dismiss baby. I love you and that's it."

"I love you too," he mumbles into my shirt. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You're not gonna find out," I kiss the edge of his head and rub his back with my free hand. "I'm here forever."

Oliver clutches me tighter and buries himself between my jacket. "Thank God for that," he exhales with a small chuckle. "Right, can we do something to take my mind off all this shit?"

He pulls away and tipes his tears so his cheeks become dry. I nod down to him and kiss his forehead. "Yes," I exhale slowly. "We can do lots of things to distract you."

PRESENT
OCTOBER 2021

I could barely sleep that night, all I wanted to do is go straight to the hospital and tell Oliver that everything had been settled. No one was going to lay a finger on him again and if by any chance they did, I'd do unspeakable things to them with no regret or remorse.

Not once would I think about the consequences of my actions but I couldn't sit back and let Oliver get hurt again, I just couldn't. He deserved so much better, maybe he deserved better than me.

If he never knew me then he would have never got himself into this situation. Especially considering his recovery is going to take a few months, not to mention the therapy he's going to need after what he's been through.

Nothing could fix this situation, not even telling him that the debt had been paid and they had moved on. I still allowed this to happen, my ultimate worst nightmare came true and somehow I wish I could take everything back. Change the past so I never had to see Oliver laying in that hospital bed fighting for his life.

At seven o'clock I get up, getting myself ready to head down to the hospital. I couldn't wait a single second more, I had to know how he was doing today. See if I could get even the tiniest reaction or response.

I get to the hospital just past eight, visiting hours having just opened. When I reach the front desk there is a swarm of people here to see their loved ones, my patience almost ran thin but I remembered these people are here for a reason too.

My foot jigs on the floor as I wait for the queue to somehow decrease, twenty minutes later I make it to the front desk. Grabbing the pen as the receptionist glances up at me. "Uhhh yeah, here to see Oliver Fletcher." I say as I begin to scribble down my name.

The receptionist taps at her keyboard before she hums slowly. "Oliver Fletcher?" She repeats.

I glance up at her once. "Yeah." I nod with an unsure look.

She chews on the inside of her lip as she reads the computer screen. "Records say he's been discharged, sir?" She says before turning to look at me.

"What?" My voice snaps causing people to turn and look.

"Yeah this morning he was discharged," she nods as she adjusts the glasses on her nose.

"By who?" I demand.

She clears her throat and looks at me. "And you are in relation to the patient?"

My mouth falls open in shock, she had seen me here everyday this week. "His boyfriend." My tone was gravily but I couldn't hold back my emotions, she was boiling my blood to a new extreme.

She taps away at the screen and gives me an unimpressed look. "He's been taken this morning, I can't disclose who but considering visiting times just opened, they probably haven't got very far. You could check the car park."

I grind down on my teeth to stop myself from throwing the computer she was tapping away at, across the room. My lips open and I release a simple, "thanks." Before running straight back to the entrance and scanning the car park.

Who would come to discharge him when he clearly still needed medical attention?

My feet carry me between the endless amounts of cars, people waiting for spaces and blaring their horns when they can't get out.

As I scan my eyes across the car park frantically, I latch onto the back of a man's head. Long blonde hair thrown up into a messy bun. Jamie. I push off the floor and jog straight over to his car, Jamie helping Oliver into the front seat.

His face was still covered in bruises and his hands wrapped up tightly in bandages, I couldn't get a good enough look of his expression but he appeared tired, exhausted, fed up.

"Oliver," I call out to grab his attention but he doesn't look as Jamie has a hold of his arm. Instead Jamie turns to me and attempts to stabilise Oliver before he fell backwards into the opposite car.

"Leave us alone Max," Jamie spits as he turns his attention back to Oliver.

I hover by the bonnet of his car, hands itching to help, to hold him. "I just want to know if he's okay." My head shakes as I glance back over at him. "Oliver?"

His body shakes but like he's in pain and I instantly frown.

"Just back off Max, the damage has been done. Oli doesn't feel safe with you, leave us alone." Jamie spits as he turns around to me, attempting to square up but he stands five inches shorter than me.

Oli doesn't feel safe with you.

My heart crushes inside my chest and I almost struggle to breathe. "Please, Oliver," my voice begs pathetically. "Just hear me out."

He clenches his eyes tightly as Jamie helps him into the passenger seat of the car. The sun was now reflecting off the windscreen so I could barely see him through the glass.

"He's got no energy, don't do this now." Jamie growls out to me.

I take one step closer to him. "He shouldn't even be leaving the hospital! He needs medical attention, he just got out of a coma for God's sake Jamie. Think about what you're doing to him!"

Jamie scoffs at me and folds his arms over his chest. "He doesn't want to be here. He's fucking scared, Max. They could easily come back and finish off the job when he's this vulnerable."

My eyes flick between his frantically, I had no idea how to grasp this situation back into my control when he was keeping Oliver away from me. But maybe he didn't want to be with me... he doesn't feel safe. He's scared. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"I sorted it, it's over. Everything is settled and I gave them what they wanted." My voice grows louder.

"I don't believe anything that comes out of your mouth!" He yells at me, his forehead creasing as he speaks. "Leave us alone, Max. I could not be more serious."

Jamie points at me once before looping the car and slipping into the driver seat and turning on the engine. I take a step backwards and look through the glass, Oliver's bruised cheeks covered in tears as he stares ahead of him like he was stuck in a trance.

The engine roars and Jamie pulls away from the car parking space and towards the exit. I stare back at his car and force myself to control my breathing before I started hyperventilating.

Tears stung my eyes, my lungs felt tight like I had inhaled a room full of smoke and my mind turned numb, I didn't know what else to think to fix this situation. I had fucked everything up.

All I wanted was my Oliver in my arms and yet he didn't want to be anywhere near me.

. . .

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Oh nooooo my babies:((((

I understand where Jamie is coming from, he's just scared for his friend and by the looks of things being with Max isn't safe for him.

What did you guys think??

Has Max screwed this all up beyond repair?

Eight more chapters and an epilogue to go!

If you haven't already make sure to add my book Untamed to your libraries as I'll be updating the first chapter tomorrow on Wattpad!

Hope you're all good, see you all on the next one. Love Sav x

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