Jonas~~

It's like I was falling the whole time, and I just now hit the ground. While falling, I could think of ideas to save myself, despite it being impossible to change my course once I fell. But now here, on the ground, the time for ideas has passed. I lost. I exhausted my brain to get Erik home only for this to happen. For him to threaten to expose us and for him to drag Iris away with him while pointing a gun at her head.

I thought he had already snapped when Molly died. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe that was when he started to fall, and tonight we both crashed to the ground.

Colton steps away from the door. "Jonas, what do we do?"

Society members crowd around me in the already tight space between tables. I raise an arm, and they step back.

"Get me the Iota and Undici."

Their names are repeated throughout the room until finally Percy and Tobias step out of the crowd.

They bow. "Preeminence?" they ask as one.

"I'm putting you both in charge of creating the search team. Hopefully we've given Erik enough time to stop any timer if there even was one. The public must never know about any of this. Go."

With another bow from each of them, they head off, their phones already out.

With Iris having been exposed to my family, it's safest for her to be far from us, but I don't know how much I can trust Erik not to hurt her. If—no, when Erik is found, they must both be brought back here, for the Society's sake. I will do all I can to protect her.

Seong-ho draws near, Colton at his side. "Do we kill on site?"

I have to fight to keep the disgust off my face. "No. Neither of you are going. You will both help from here. Besides, there is still a country to run."

"Are you going after them, Jonas?" Colton asks.

"Yes, I am, Beta."

He winces at my tone.

"This is my country. I'm the Preeminence. He's my Tresais and Iris—from this moment on, I assume full responsibility for her."

"Does that mean you won't kill her?" Seong-ho has the gall to appear miffed at me.

"If we study her, then there's a chance we can make sure what happened to her doesn't happen again."

Colton fights to keep his lips in straight line. "That's not the real reason, Seong-ho. He's infatuated with her."

"That's out of line, Beta."

"You're putting a girl before the whole Society. When I thought Vienna was shot you had the nerve to get mad at me for coming straight home. If I couldn't do that after what happened to Mother, then you aren't about to put an Expired's life before our own family."

I clench my fist, stepping directly in front of him. "I am the Preeminence. I do not have to explain myself to you."

"You knew the whole time, didn't you?" His eyes are wide with hurt. "You changed her Expiration Date in the databases."

"That's enough."

"I hope she was worth it, khaleedi."

Now it's my turn to recoil from his tone. A stab for a stab. But he doesn't see because he's already stalking off. We are forever bound by blood in more ways than one, but at this moment he's never felt so distant.

Seong-ho looks between my brother and me. Finally, he bows. "Preeminence," he murmurs and leaves.

******

After doing my best to reassure the Society, I lock myself in my room. I take two moments for myself, one to inhale, one to exhale, before setting to work. I fill a duffle bag with anything I think I may need. Spare clothes, of course, and then an extra gun along with Colton's, and magazines for them.

A soft knock on my door. "Jonas?" It's my father.

I unlock the door, returning to packing. I don't feel like speaking with anyone. My father is at the top of that list.

I hear the door open and his footsteps against my wood flooring.

"You're leaving." Not a question. An observation.

"I don't have a choice. I'm the only person I can trust to not shoot her dead."

"You're the Preeminence. You have an Order for a reason."

I whirl on him. "I didn't choose the men in my Order. Just because fate and tradition dictate that those are the men I rule with, does not mean I can trust them. Look at my Tresais— he threatens our existence. I could declare that he committed an unforgivable act of betrayal, but we just became an Order. I don't have time to transition nine of them up and initiate a new Douze. The country can't know the Tresais has gone off the rails, at least not so soon. He's trapped as my Tresais. And then there's my brother, my Beta, who without consulting me, attacked Iris and exposed her Mark, and instead of coming to me privately, he went to the entire Society." I turn back to my duffle bag and pull the zipper shut. "Tradition is going to destroy us."

He places his hands on my shoulders, his fingers rubbing out the tense muscles in my back. "Your brother was only doing what he knew was right. He was protecting the Society. Don't be angry with him."

"I'm not Colton, Father. I love him dearly, but I'm not him."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I never expected to be Preeminence for more than a couple weeks. I didn't think I had to lose my morality. I guess I kept it all throughout these years. I thought I had learned to steel my nerves. I didn't realize I had hung onto it. Until I looked into her eyes—" My throat dries making it hard to swallow the lump in it. "Until I looked and saw she was Expired. I'm not like him. I can't go into an innocent girl's room and drag her out only to shoot her."

"She's not innocent. She's Expired."

"I'm Expired! Would you have Colton shoot me?"

His hands release my shoulders. I feel their presence still there, hovering. I asked the question, but I don't want to know the answer.

"No."

"How is my crime different from hers?"

"It's not."

"So?"

He turns me to face him. "I love you. Don't you know that?"

"I thought I did, but I can't help feeling you'd rather see Colton as Preeminence. He'll follow in your legacy."

"And you won't?"

"You know the answer. I'm sorry I'm a failure."

"Jonas, how have I failed you so much?"

I break out of his hold, slinging the strap of my bag over my shoulder. "I'm going to find the both of them, and she's going to live."

"You know it would be better if she died."

"I'm the Preeminence now."

"You know I'm right. Isn't it better to lose her now before you love her?"

I shake my head, walking toward my door. Of course, he'd bring this up now. "I am not talking about this."

"How do you expect the Society to accept her?"

I grab onto the door handle. I'm not my father. I do not rule his Order. This is my Society, and it's going to play by my rules. "Make them believe her Mark was misprinted. You know she'll do it if I ask." I pull my door open.

"You aren't going to use her," he says.

But I've already closed my door. 

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