Iris~~

As I approach the ballroom, waltz music drifts toward me. It tugs at my heart, begging me to dance. The dance lessons at my orphanage were some of my favorites. I may never have been given driving lessons, but I could dance better than anyone else in my orphanage. I was the one who was going to die soon. The music spoke to me differently. I didn't simply hear the heartache in a song. I felt it. I poured everything I had into each step, each movement. No one wanted to hear how it felt to know I would die at nineteen. Those dances were my chance to show them what it was like.

I step into the ballroom, and my chest heaves from my breath being taken away. The ballroom has always been magnificent, but tonight there is not a word to describe it. It's so much more than magnificent. The dresses are styled similar to the ones worn for Colton's and Erik's ceremonies. But more intricate, ornate, elegant. My own is white with blue and silver gems sewn into it. I found it lying on my bed this afternoon.

It's like every color imaginable is swirling through a sea of stars. Truly a sea of them. Men and women glide through what must be projections of thousands and thousands of silver twinkling stars. I don't know where the stars in this room come from for some of them move when a hem of a dress brushes through them as if they were glitter. With the clear ceiling and the window wall on the other end of the ballroom that both show the stars shining and gleaming and with the looming, glittering silver chandeliers, the Society dances in a sea of stars even without the projections.

I spot a few laurel wreaths in that sea, but many Society members are wearing circlets. From what I remember growing up, any Society member can wear a circlet, but only those in or close in relation to the Order wear laurel wreaths. They're a way to set themselves apart from the rest of the Society.

"I've been waiting for you." Erik comes up beside me, a laurel wreath on his own head. "You look stunning."

"Thank you." The truth is, I do feel stunning. I don't know why it's scaring me that I think that. "What am I to call you now?"

"Erik. Always Erik. But you'll have to call Colton Beta now. His royal highness will insist on it."

I don't know why the thought comes to me now, but I wonder what Colton, and for that matter Erik, would think if they knew Jonas and I kissed? I can wonder all I want, but I absolutely do not wish to find out. Neither has been supportive of me even talking to Jonas. Nothing has happened between us since two nights ago. We haven't had the chance to be alone, let alone talk for more than a few minutes at a time. We haven't spoken a word about that night.

I told him he had to mean it, and now with not talking about it, doubt is starting to creep into my mind. It's entirely foolish of me. He's the Preeminence. It's better if we forget it happened.

"Would you like to dance?" Erik asks, the current song coming to an end. "That is, if you know how."

I take his hand and pull him, trying not to drag him, toward the dancers. "I suppose you'll just have to show me how."

Once out in the middle of the floor, Erik places his free hand on my waist, and I place mine on his shoulder.

You get into the heart of them and then you pierce them.

I duck my head. Stars brush up against my dress and thread through Erik's legs. "They're beautiful."

"It's one of the only things I love about the Society."

https://youtu.be/J_oP2ltuNyk

The intro of the song begins, and I can't help but smile. This is one of my favorites. One . . . two . . . three . . .

We take off, gliding and twirling across the room. The violinists play their part fervently before the flute takes over.

Erik looks at me with amazement. "How do you know this?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

He shakes his head. "You little rebel."

One spin, two spin and glide. Three spin, four spin and lift. We never miss a step. I keep my eyes on Erik's as my dress fans out around my shoes. Erik's grinning at me with the biggest smile I've ever seen from him. I've never seen him this happy.

"You and me," he says up at me as he lifts me. "We're going to change things." He sets me down. "The first time I'm sent away from the Estate to attend a meeting, you're coming with me, and we're going to expose it."

I miss a step. "What?"

"You know what I mean." My Mark.

"Erik, everyone will think we faked it."

"There's been videos before." He sends me into a succession of twirls under his arm. "Those were proven false. But they won't be able to prove that ours is."

I take his other hand. "It won't matter if no one believes us—if they're all too skeptical."

We waltz into a large circle.

"Where is this coming from?" he asks.

"Once it's exposed, I'll be hunted by your family. I want to make sure that it's worth it."

"Instilling doubt is worth it."

"Worth my life?"

Erik and I separate. He grabs onto the man's hands to my right, and I grasp the hands of his partner. Her and I rotate positions, and Erik and I rejoin.

"Well?"

"No, but—" He spins me.

"No, but what, Erik?"

"The country needs you."

He spins me under his arm eight more times before the coda of the song begins, and we spin together as one until the end of the song.

We break apart, out of breath. He bows to me—the first time he's ever done that. When he rises, he says, "I'll see you later."

We go in different directions. I head for the tables where hors d'oeuvres, desserts, and drinks are on display and for the taking. The food looks like it must be plastic. No food is that perfect and shiny. I pick up a glass of water, sipping on it as I watch the dancers waltz by after the next song has begun.

"Well." Colton sidles up to me. "My cousin just stormed past me."

"Which one? There's oh so many."

"You know which one. What is it that he's angry about now? Keeping up with him is a full-time job."

"I do not envy your job, Colton." I take a sip, looking at him over the rim.

"Beta, now, darling. I'll let it slide this time."

"How gracious."

"Indeed." He plucks my glass out of my hand and places it on a passing server's tray. "I don't want you getting sick with all the spinning you'll be doing."

"Again"—I force a smile— "how gracious."

"Iris, Colton." Jonas comes up to us and places his hand on my back. I lean into it ever so slightly, knowing Colton is watching with disapproving eyes. "I was worried I'd never find you," he says to me.

"Your brother and I were just talking."

Jonas tilts his head at his brother. "I'm surprised you aren't drunk."

Colton doesn't bat an eyelash. "Getting drunk was for last night. And besides, I happen to not like getting drunk when there is so much to think about." His eyes drop to my bandage and with a knowing look he turns and walks away.

My entire body stiffens. "He knows."

Jonas takes my hands in his. "He can't possibly know."

"But—"

"He's trying to frighten you. Don't let him get to you."

"He is the Beta now."

"And I'm the Preeminence. He's under my control."

Colton's figure disappears into the crowd. Is he though? Colton thinks I'm using his brother and Erik in a game, but I can't help feeling we're all pawns in his.

His thumbs rub circles into my palms. "How are you? I've hardly seen you."

"I'm fine, nothing exciting to report."

"The ceremony though?"

"Bearable. It was a wonderful speech you gave." Jonas and Colton always seem at odds with each other. It's hard to imagine them that close."

"He is my baby brother. I had to make it good."

"I find it hard to imagine he was ever younger than twelve."

"Once upon a time, he used to be quite helpless." His eyes glaze over, and a faint smile comes to his lips. "I used to sit by my mother's side while she rocked Gwen and him to sleep. The creaking of the rocking chair would make me fall asleep, right there, on the floor."

"Be honest," I make my voice serious, "was he an ugly baby?"

"He was chubby and adorable." He lets go of my hands and takes a step back. The current song is drawing to a close, a bitter-sweet tune reaching its end. Jonas bows, and I feel a lump in my throat. I thought Erik bowing to me was shocking, but the Preeminence bowing to me creates a rush of emotions I don't have any clue how to process. "Will you dance with me?"

"Promise not to step on my feet?"

He has a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I would never."

"All right, your Majesty, let's see what you've got."

Jonas guides me through two forming rings of dancers to the center of them. A quick glance proves the room is watching us.

"Think you can handle the spotlight?"

"Hopefully my dance lessons paid off."

He slides his hand around my waist. "I hope so too."

I place my hand on his shoulder, feeling the curve of each muscle and bone. We join our hands, and he tugs me against him, my facing warming. He stares down at me, and for this moment, it's just us standing in the stars.

The music begins, like a wave of spring, swaying forward and back. Jonas and I take the first step, falling into a gentle rhythm as we glide around our own circle. He lets go of my hand to place it at my waist, and he lifts me in the air. Dresses tumble through the sky, and he brings me back to earth. I wrap my arms around his neck.

"You're quite the partner," he says.

"So are you."

"You flatter me, love."

My stomach flutters. "I should never have told you I liked that."

"On the contrary, I quite appreciate it."

I take his hand again, and he moves his other hand higher up my back. My arm rests against his.

"Some of my Order arrived back from Germany today. I'll have to introduce you to them at some point tonight."

"You really don't have to do that."

"I'm sure they'll want to meet you."

"When do the rest get here?"

"Tomorrow. Maybe it's silly, but I've missed them. They're my closest friends."

I brush my thumb over his shoulder. "It's not silly at all."

The music whirls as the stars swirl around our feet. I can almost imagine the music comes from them.

He tilts me back slightly in a curve. "Are you happy?"

"I'm very happy right now."

"I mean, being here. I have this fear I'll wake up one morning and you'll be gone." He spins me under his arm, and we fall back against each other, perfectly in time. The truth is, I am actually happy here. I never thought I could be—not at the Society, but when Jonas is around, I feel for once in my life not only completely normal but entirely unique as well. All at the same time. He's someone who understands what it means to know you're going to die so young. He looks at me like I'm . . . perfect. That I'm not flawed because of a date. So yes, I am happy here but only because of him.

He opens one arm, and I spin outward.

"Yes, Jonas." I take both of his hands, and we turn in a circle. "I am."

He tugs me closer, and as the song draws to an end we stop, my hands on his arms. His cup my face. Our chests visibly rise and fall as we catch our breaths.

"I want to kiss you again, but maybe it's too soon to do so in front of everyone."

I know he's right, but I still feel that need to press my lips to his again, that desire to pull him closer.

"That dress is absolutely stunning on you."

I look down, knowing I need to let go of his gaze if I'm going to keep myself from kissing him. "You have excellent taste in dresses."

He laughs. "While I would love to accept your compliment on this dress, I'm afraid I can't. When I went to make sure you'd have one for tonight, I was told a dress had already been requested for you. I assumed Erik had beaten me to it."

A bitter chill spreads up my arms. "Erik would have mentioned it." Someone wanted me in this dress but didn't bother telling me who they are.

******

Three songs later, I'm resting against a column while Society members face each other lined up in rows. They're doing a jig I never learned. I think it's almost over.

"Just the girl I'm looking for."

I stiffen. "Beta, don't you have a girlfriend to be dancing with?"

"I have been for most of the evening. Now I'm going to dance with you."

"No."

"Yes. You and I need to talk." He grabs my hand and tugs me onto the dance floor as the jig is ending. Couples pair up and form rows facing each other again. Colton lets go of my hand to stand across from me.

The music begins, and I know the song. It sounds like a tango, but the dance is more of a group effort. The girl next to me and I walk around each other, our eyes on our partners'. I can't help making eye contact with Colton. This dance is very much a battle, and if I show any bit of timidness, I'll lose.

Colton and I step forward and circle each other, our eyes surveying each other.

"Do you like the dress?"

"What?"

We step back in line.

"I picked it out for you."

That chill returns. Everyone switches places diagonally. Colton bumps against my arm as we pass, a smirk on his lips.

"Your brother liked it."

We step toward each other.

"You could be wearing a sack and he'd still somehow be taken with you."

The music swells, and we take each other's hand while I place my other on his upper arm and his presses against my lower back. We spin this way and that and he dips me in a deep arc. When he pulls me back up, he leans toward my ear.

"I saw how you two looked at each other at the end of your dance. Everyone did."

The violins' pitch increases.

"I warned you."

We alternate between spinning together and him spinning me.

"Whatever game you and Erik are playing, leave Jonas out of it."

I break out of the spin, backing up as he follows. "How much longer do I have to tell you that I'm not playing a game for you to believe me?"

We stop, pressed against each other, his hand splayed against my back. By his expression, it's apparent neither of us are pleased with the proximity the dance requires of us. "Until you're gone." The music from the violins abruptly ceases, and he dips me until my back aches. He raises me up to the piano's crescendo. The violins drift back in, and he twirls me to a new partner, a young man.

We each connect one of our palms, circling the other. His eyes bore into me, while I keep mine cast downward. Looking down for a few seconds won't ruin the dance, and I'm not competing against him after all.

I return to Colton, placing my palm against his.

"What will it take for you to start taking my threats seriously?"

"I suppose I don't think much of men who threaten women."

We push off of our palms.

"Why don't you just talk to your brother?"

His mouth twists into a sneer, and he grabs my waist and hand. "I have." We move as one, never missing a step. "You're Erik's."

My eyes narrow. "No, I'm not."

"Is that what you think?" He spins me out and back in, his hand brushing along my bandage. "You are his, and Jonas knows that. Why don't you?"

"Because it's not true, Colton."

"Beta, and you make Erik happy. The Society, the country needs him to be happy. You're the closest he'll get to having Molly back. You don't have a choice."

I frown as he dips me, the music coming to an end.

"I do have a choice."

He brings me up enough to reach my ear. "No, you don't," he whispers, and the song ends.

He walks away, not bothering to escort me off the dance floor. I can't help the sickening feeling that he won that battle. I head back to the refreshment tables to get more water, hopeful that this time Colton won't be around to rid me of it.

Erik intercepts me. He looks . . . cross.

"Hey," my voice comes out hoarse. Maybe because all I can think about is what Colton told me. I'm Erik's? No. That's not what we are.

"I saw that, and I'm quite sure everyone else did too."

"Colton and me?"

"You and the Preeminence."

"Dancing?" I ask, praying that's all he's referring to in his comment. Not how I was about to kiss Jonas.

"His hands on your face. You both staring into each other's eyes. I told you not to make eye contact, and you do it with him? Why can't you just listen to me, Iris? Stay away from him." He tries to walk away, but I follow.

"Erik."

He stops but doesn't turn around.

I search for the right words to say.

"Well?"

Nothing comes out.

"That's what I thought." He grabs a glass of champagne off one of the tables and loses himself in the clusters of Society members.

My shoulders feel a weight pressing on them. Somehow, someway I'm going to have to tell Erik about Jonas and me even if I don't know what Jonas and I are. I'm genuinely starting to believe I can't go through with our plan anymore. If the Society finds out that being Expired is possible, will that put Jonas in danger of being exposed?

"Iris." Vienna steps out from behind a column. Was she eavesdropping? "Can we speak, please?" Maybe she's angry I danced with her boyfriend. I will certainly try my best to assure her I wanted no part in the dance.

"Of course."

She glances in the direction Erik went. "Some place private. The maze?"

"Do you know how to get back out?"

She nods, her eyes still looking somewhere else.

If she tries anything I could probably take her, though she did seem to know what she was doing with the gun in Erik's car. She could be leading me to Colton, but no, there he is twirling a new girl across the room.

"All right then."

******

By day, the maze is intimidating. By night, it's ominous. Vienna leads the way, pausing a few times at forks but still carrying onward. When it seems we've gone quite deep, I speak up.

"What is it you want to talk about?"

She stops. "Erik."

"What about him?"

She wets her lips. "I was an orphan like you. Well, not a rebel one at least."

I step back, my apprehension growing that this is a trap. "How do you know that?"

"You knew those rebels. One of their names was Y. Add that to your skills with a gun and the dancing you did tonight, and it's not hard to solve that equation."

I dig my hands into the hedge. Twigs scrape my skin. "I'm not a rebel."

"I didn't tell anyone. No one, I swear. If you don't believe me, my own name was V before I was adopted. My orphanage wasn't like yours though. I'm telling you this to earn your trust."

"Why do you need my trust?"

"You've heard of Molly, I'm sure."

"According to your boyfriend, I'm a replacement for her."

She purses her lips, shaking her head. "You can't be. For your sake, you can't."

"Did you know her?"

"No, she died about a year before I met Colton, so I wasn't there that night. Only Erik knows the full details."

I release my grip on the leaves, watching her warily but not making eye contact. "What is it that you know?"

"Iris"—her chest swells as she takes a deep breath—"Erik killed Molly."