Emma's POV
~ March 15th ~

Today's a really emotional day. This day, two years ago, I unknowingly miscarried during a date in which Killian proposed. I lost a little boy, Alex. What made it worse was that it was my second miscarriage and I felt from that day that I would never be able to have a family with Killian. I have that family now, it's just missing the one important person, Killian himself. Like last year, I want to visit the resting place of Alex, where we scattered his ashes, just outside the manor we got married in. But I don't want to be alone, I want to bring Killian. But yes it will be hard to get him to come because, of course he doesn't remember.

The past month was rather eventful. Lily got engaged to Philip two weeks ago and we all had a party to celebrate. I haven't seen much of her since after Christmas but I was fully aware that she had a busy job and now a relationship to tackle.

Well now she has one more thing.

When I woke up this morning, the first thing I seen on my phone was a text from Lily asking if she could come round and see me, that it was urgent. Of course I allowed her to come and she arrived two hours later.

I opened the door and found her in tears, red faced and all blotched.

"Lily? Is everything okay?"

"I don't know what to do Emma."

"Oh Lily, come in quickly."

I brought her into the kitchen and made us both coffees. We sat down at the kitchen island and I handed Lily a box of tissues.

"Now tell me, what's wrong?"

"It's better if I just show you."

She lifted her handbag and took out a pregnancy test and handed me it. It read positive.

"You're-"

"Pregnant..Yeah."

"Oh my gosh congratulations!"

I couldn't help but notice how sad as was about it. I'd expected her to glowing with happiness.

"Why are you so sad? Is something bothering you?"

"It's just, I told Philip I was on birth control. We both agreed we didn't want kids. I'm scared he'll leave me now that I am, maybe I should just-"

"Woah woah woah, don't you dare think like that! Your keeping this baby! Do you really think Philip won't find out if you did? I'm always here to help Lily, I've had two kids and yeah there were times were I just wanted to walk out and scream. But please Lily, promise me you won't do what I'm thinking your gonna do."

"I-"

"Please Lily."

"I promise."

"Thank you."

"How am i going to tell him?"

"Call him round now."

"Now! No I need to think about what I'm going to say!"

"Lily, in this case it doesn't matter what you say. He's going to find out anyway."

"Ugh okay."

She wiped her tears away and blew her nose before phoning Philip and telling him to come over. But he told her to come home because he wanted to speak to her in private. I said goodbye and began to get ready.

I wore all black but I put on my red leather jacket so I didn't look too dull. I got into the car with Henry and Sophie then dropped them off at Mary Margaret's. I know it was rude to not bringing them to their brothers testing place, but I wanted to have time alone with Killian and to explain things to him.

I arrived at his house and awkwardly knocked on his door and took a deep breath.

"Emma?"

"Hello."

"What are you doing here?"

"I know this is unexpected, but I need to show you something."

"Can't it hold on for another day? I'm not really feeling great today."

"Oh, are you okay? What's wrong?"

"Just a headache. I guess that expected after having a part of your skull shattered because of a bullet."

"Yeah, totally. Well, I'll check up on you later and see if your okay?"

"Thanks."

"Yeah.."

I began to walk away before I heard Killian shout back at me.

"Emma! Wait a sec"

"Yes?"

"I'll come with you. Just give me a few minutes to get ready. Please come in."

"Okay."

.......

"Soooo, where are we going?"

"Uh, somewhere very meaningful."

"Okaay."

We arrived at the manor and u parked the car in the car park. I got out of the car and guided Killian up the path. I had a bunch of brightly coloured flowers with me to place by the lake which made Killian pull a number of faces.

We arrived at a bench overlooking the lake and I sat down with Killian beside me.

"Can you tell me why we are here now?"

"Well, our son is here."

"But I don't see a child here?"

"That's because he's not here. He's just resting here."

"Resting?"

"I miscarried two years ago today, with our son."

"Oh Emma, im so so sorry I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't ."

"Please Emma. Let me apologise."

"Apologise for what? It's not your fault that I'm raising our child alone and paying bills by myself while not being able to work. Do you know how hard these past months have been? I haven't had a break! I went from almost being killed to my husband also almost being killed and fading away from me to not being able to work to being a single parent! All I want is to sit down and hug those that mean the whole world to me. I want my husband back. And I'm sorry I know that loosing your memory is 100% not your fault, but you have responsibilities. Responsibilities that you dropped the minute you found out that you had lost almost 5 years of your life. You lost 3 years of our relationship and when I looked into your eyes for the first time in that hospital and told you about your family, i saw nothing. You didn't care that you forgot, you almost seemed delighted. So please, apologise. Because it will show me that you have some dignity to respect me."

As the tears flowed out of my eyes, Killian sat in silence. I hoped that he was just gathering his thoughts, that he was taking in all my words.

"Your right. I haven't been there. I used my memory loss as an excuse to block out my wife and my kids. Everyday of my life I am a man of code, I'd never leave them fatherless.

He tilted my head using his hand and smiled at my whilst wiping some of my tears.

"Hey, I am sorry. I wouldn't wish what I've done on you on anyone, especially you. You seem like such an incredible woman."

I smiled back at him and took his hand.

"Thank you, for telling me how you really feel."

"No problem, I couldn't hold it in for much longer. Now come on, let's get home."

.....

"So you really talked to him."

"Showed him who's boss."

"You've always shown men who's boss mom."

"True aha."

I heard the doorbell ring and I got up from the couch to answer it. It was pretty late so I was suspicious as so how it was.

"Lily! Philip! What brings you here this late?"

"Well I talked to Philip about earlier today and guess who's going to be an auntie!"

"Me!"

"Thank you so much Emma for talking to Lily earlier today. I could tell the news shook her up. But she had no need to worry, I am so so so happy that she's pregnant."

"That's great news. Wanna come inside for a cup of tea or coffee?"

"No no I don't want to bother you more than I already have today. I'll let you get to bed."

"Oh okay. I'll see you soon then?"

"Yeah! Goodbye Em!"

"Bye Lily, goodnight yous two."

"Goodnight!"

I closed the door then got myself and Henry and Sophie ready for bed. As I put Sophie in her crib, Henry went to his room so I went downstairs to turn off all the lights and the tv. Just as I went to step up the stairs, someone knocked on the door. I sighed and unlocked the door and swung it open.

"Killian? What are you doing here."

"Remember this afternoon I told you everyday I was a man of code?"

"Yes I do it was only this morning."

"Well today isn't one of them days."

All of a sudden his lips connected with mine and we began passionately making out. I pulled out, stared at Killian in the eyes and began kissing him again.

"Killi-Killian I need to lock the door."

"Fuck the door."

"The door? I thought you wanted to-"

"Just lock it."

I smirked and locked the door, grabbed Killian's hand and dragged him up the stairs and just as we got into the bedroom Killian slammed me against the door and began kissing me again.

"Where is this going?"

"Where do you want it to go?"

"Killian."

"Trust me."

"O-Okay."

...........

Enjoy tonight's episode if your watching!

Please remember to vote and comment ❤️