A boy with chubby cheek and milky skin, stare at his window and found a dark sky without stars.

A sigh escape his lips.

"Looks like it just you and me again, huh?"Xiumin smile sadly while talking to the night sky.

He really into this situation.

Dark.

Night sky.

Alone.

Yeah, in his college he have no friend. People even don't recognise him. He just like.. invisible.

He hope one day he will met someone who can be friend with him.

Just... hope.
===
Xiumin walk hastily to his next class; art class.

"Gosh, i'm gonna be late."he murmured.

He hold his book as tight as he can so it won't fall from his hand.

Suddenly he felt someone bump into him and make his books are falling from his hand. Great.

He sighed before pick his books.

"S-Sorry."that 'someone' said with an apologetic smile then help him to pick his books.

Someone talk to me?! Is he really talk to me?!

"I-It's okay."Xiumin said with a flash smile.

"I'm Kim Jong Dae. But people call me Chen. And you?"that Chen guy said.

"I-I'm Xi-Xiumin."

"Xi Xiu Min? Are you from China?"Chen rise his eyebrow.

"N-No. I-I mean i'm Xiumin."Xiumin said, low down his head.

"Oohh i see haha. Is that your real name?"

"No.. My real name is Kim Min Seok. X-Xiumin it just my home name."

"I call you Xiumin then. It's cute tho."Chen said with his bright smile.

Xiumin seems lighten up. "A-Are you new here?"

"Yeah. I want to go to the art class. See you aro-"

"I want to go to that class too."Xiumin smile shyly.

"Really? Let's go together then."Chen smile.

Can this count as a hope?
===
It's been 5 months since Xiumin and Chen met.

They already get along each other.

In their weekend or free time, they would go to coffee shop or mall together. Just to hang out and releasing their stressness because of their college life.

Sometimes Chen would go to Xiumin's apartment to play or do their tasks together.

And sometimes Xiumin would go to Chen's boarding house to play card or board games.

If Chen have a night classes, Xiumin happily go to his apartment to drop Chen's dinner so Chen don't need to buy food again. And Xiumin will wait until Chen's night classes done.

If it's already dark and Xiumin always afraid of the dark, Chen would chuckle and pick him to his apartment.

If Xiumin bored Chen will pick him and invite him to drink coffee or maybe to go to some libraries because Chen know if Xiumin love two things; book and coffee.

They really enjoy their times together.
===
"Xiu!"Chen called him as Xiumin walk towards the gate. He seems coughed for a while when running.

The coughed didn't stop when Chen stop running.

"Chen! Are you okay?"Xiumin rubbed his back caringly.

"I'm okay."he smile with his tired eyes.

"Hey, your eyes just like a panda. What's happening to you?"

Chen chuckle a bit, "Maybe because of the lack of sleeping."

Xiumin touch his forehead, sending electric thingy into Chen's stomach.

"Oh god.. You have a fever! Come on, let me bring you to your boarding house. You seems extremely weak."Xiumin said in worried tone.

Chen just nodded then let Xiumin dragged him.
===
"Chen!"Xiumin said, make Chen snapped out from his deep thoughts.

"Y-Yeah?"Chen ask with a fake smile.

"Are you okay? You seems pale and weird this week. No, honestly, month."Xiumin sighed.

"I-I'm okay Xiu. You know.. i'm just.. lack of sleeping."Chen said then coughing a hard one.

He even cover his mouth so Xiumin will not infected.

The cough go even harder that Chen almost can't breathe.

"Chen! Oh my god.. Let's get you to the doctor."Xiumin said with worried eyes.

Chen uncovered his mouth then saw a red liquid on his hand.

He widened his eyes and fastly pick tissue from his pocket then clean it so Xiumin will not able to see that.

"Listen Xiu, i'm okay. I'm prefectly fine. You don't need to worry. I just need more rest. That's all."Chen smile weakly.

Xiumin sighed harshly, "If something bad happening to you. I will blame you."he said.

Chen just smile then nodded, "You can blame me."
===
"Hey, how's you doing?"Xiumin greet Chen who sit on the bench at the park near his boarding house alone.

Chen snapped out from his thoughts then greet him back with a warm smile, "Hey Xiu. I'm fine. You?"

Xiumin sighed, "I'm good."he smile to him softly, "I earlier went to your boarding house but you're not there. So i come here and my guess is right, you're here."he look up at Chen and smile brightly.

Chen look at that smile and tears start to formed on his eyes.

But before it fall, Chen erase it. "Look Xiumin, i gotta go now."

"Where? Why?"Xiumin ask confusedly.

"I need to settle something."he said before waving his hand to Xiumin weakly.
===
Xiumin sit in front of his window, looking up at the night sky.

Again, a sigh escape his lips. He don't know why but he worried about Chen.

Every night he always tried to search what Chen's problem.

Every morning he always tried to ask Chen what his problem.

And he just say 'i'm okay. Just lack of sleeping.' And the answer always, always like that.

Xiumin sighed deeply before close the window and curled up like a ball on his bed.
===
"Xiu.."Xiumin heard a very familiar voice beside him. He just sit on the library on his campus and suddenly he felt someone tap his shoulder.

"Hey Chen."Xiumin smile softly. "What's up?"

"Look, can you go out with me? This saturday?"Chen don't waste his time. He just ask to-the-point.

"Oh? Saturday? Hhmm let me see."Xiumin seems to think, "I'm free this Saturday. Where are we going?"he smile brightly.

Chen smile weakly before said, "It's a secret."
===
"Chen? Where are we going? And why you cover my eyes with this handkerchief?"Xiumin touch the handkerchief that cover his eyes tightly.

Chen chuckled a bit. "I said it's a secret."he said with hoarse voice.

Xiumin pouted then let him dragged him to the place.

Finally they arrive at the place. It seems like high place.

Chen uncovered his eyes then said, "You can open your eyes now."

Xiumin did what he told and look around.

He's eyes sparkling and he even can't blink at the view. It's Namsan Tower.

"Namsan.."Xiumin whisper, a tears formed on his eyes.

Then suddenly he hug Chen tightly, "Thanks.. You're the first person who bring me to such a beautiful place like this."

Chen smile sadly before murmur, "This is the last for us to go out together."

Xiumin tense up after hearing those sentence, "What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing. I mean, this is the last for this day. Right?"Chen smile awkwardly.

Xiumin know Chen is lying to him but he don't want to broke this moment.
===
The next day, Chen didn't come to college.

Xiumin is freaking panic because yesterday Chen was seems okay.

He call him at the first break time, he didn't pick it.

He call him at the second break time, and he also didn't pick it.

He call him when he on the way to Chen's boarding house, and still, he didn't pick it.

He knock Chen's boarding house door, but no one answer nor open the door.

He bang the door and tried to open the knob, but still it can't be open.

He run to the park near the boarding house where usually Chen sit on the bench, looking at the evening sky with his sparkling eyes. But Xiumin couldn't find him.

He sit on the bench helpless, while look at the evening sky that almost dark, where is he?
===
Xiumin unconsciously running to nowhere just to find Chen, his bestfriend.

Althought he want more than bestfriend, but still he can't. Because he's too scared to confess to Chen about his feelings.

He start panting, sweating already flow from his forehead down to his body. He don't want to stop. He don't want to stop to search him. He don't want to lost him.

He pass the hospital near his apartment and suddenly he has an urge to stop.

To stop in front of it.

To stop in front of the hospital.

And search in it.

Xiumin run like a flash and ask at the administration.

"Excuse me, is it a boy with the name Chen in here?"

The nurse look up at him, "Wait a minute. Chen?"she ask once more.

Xiumin nodded.

"He's not here. Maybe you wrong to go to this hospital."

"How about Kim Jong Dae?!"Xiumin didn't give up.

The nurse read the book again before saying, "Yes. He's here."
===
Xiumin run just like a tornado to an operation room. But in front of it the guards hold him back.

"I want to enter the room!"Xiumin shouted, tears formed on his eyes.

"You can't. He still on his treatment."

"He's my bestfriend! I want to see him!"Xiumin cry while shouting.

"YOU CAN'T! He still on his treatment! And you can't enter the room just like that!"

Xiumin cried even more, he's legs gone weaker and weaker. "Please.. I just want to see him.."

The guards sighed harshly, "You don't understand kid. He's now suffering because of his heart cancer."

Xiumin world seems stop. He even felt his heart stop beating. He even hard to search for air. His eyes became more blurry because tears flowing from his eyes down to his face.

"YOU LIE! YOU'RE A BIG LIAR! I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!"Xiumin cried and hit the guards.

The first guard sighed, "Listen kid. We're not lying, we're telling the truth. Your friend had a serious heart cancer."

Xiumin felt his legs became jelly, he fall into the ground and cover his face with his both hands and cry even harder.

He run away from the guards and sit at the hospital park alone. Staring at the night sky without stars.

He hope to the night sky if Chen can wake up and do all things with him just like ordinary day before.

He hope to the night sky if Chen can wake up and tell him everything gonna be okay.

He hope to the night sky if Chen can wake up and one day they will remember about this day and this is just a bad memories.

But he cried even more. It just hopes.. You can't wish they became real..
===
The doctor came out, make Xiumin stand up from his seat and run to him like a flash.

"How's his condition, doc?!"Xiumin asked anxiously.

The doctor sighed and release his glasses, "It's hard to tell you.. But.. his condition gone weaker and weaker. He suffer this heart cancer for about 1 year, and now maybe he need rest."

Xiumin's heart stop beating for a while, "NO THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!"Xiumin shout while grabbing the doctor's coat. He already cry for about 2 hours since he come here, and now his eyes looks perfectly like a panda.

The doctor sighed heavily, "You can't change what already happen, son.."

Xiumin, for the second time, fall into the ground and cover his face with his both hands.

"You have some minutes before.... he pass away."

Without no second, he run towards Chen's room and found a helpless Chen.

He almost fall at the third time when he saw Chen's condition.

He wore so many cables and hospital stuffs on his body. He's so pale that almost turn into white. He's so skinny that wind can blow him away easily.

Xiumin sit beside him then hugged him tightly, "Chen! I already told you to go to hospital! But why you're so stubborn! Now i will blame you because of your stupidness!"

Silent. Chen didn't respond nor open his eyes.

"Why you're not tell me?! Why?! We're best friend right?! Althought i want to be your lover, i can't! I don't have courage to confess to you! And now what?!"

Silent.

Xiumin cried gone bigger and bigger as he hug Chen's skinny body. The machine that shown Chen's heartbeat, beeping uncontrollably. But the line still growing up and down, shown that Chen still breathing. Xiumin stare at it with horror look before looking back at Chen's face.

"Listen Chen, since i saw you, since i meet you, since i talk to you, you're my only hope Chen.."Xiumin cried nonstop.

Xiumin look at Chen's skinny and haggard face. He cupped it and cry even bigger.

"WHY?! WHY WHY WHY?!"Xiumin curse. "You know that i love you Chen.."

The machine start to beeping nonstop until the line gone straight.

Xiumin shouted unstoppable and try to wake Chen up. But he know it's useless.

The doctors and nurses start to enter the room and carry Xiumin out from the room.

"NO! CHEN YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME! YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE!"Xiumin shout on top of his lungs with his eyes that almost popped from it's place because he crying way too much.
===
Xiumin stare at his window and found a dark sky without stars.

A sigh escape his lips.

"Looks like it just you and me again, huh?"Xiumin smile sadly while talking to the night sky.

He really into this situation.

Dark.

Night sky.

Alone.

Without Chen.

It's been a year since Chen pass away. And he felt empty. And hopeless.

But deep in his heart he know, hope is not like you wish something then it just came out as you wish.

For Xiumin, his first hope is Chen. And it'll never be change.
===
A/N : *sniff* *sniff*
It's my first time make such an angst fic.
It's a big failure or nah?;-(
Comment what you thought and i will happily read it;)
Saranghae~