"i put on a bitter smile over my expressionless face"

*°*

psycho pt.2

𝚊𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚜𝚎𝚎, 𝚒'𝚖 𝚍𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚜
𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚛, 𝚒 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞

He breaks through the barricade of entangled limbs and explodes onto the hall. His body skidded along the floor and he rose to his feet with wide eyes, taking in everything all at once.

The hallway has as much personality as the rest of the hospital. The floor is slate grey and the walls dove. Above the ceiling is made from those polystyrene squares laid on a grid-like frame. The light is too bright for Baekhyun's eyes after the darkening gloom inside his room, and he finds it abrasive, enough perhaps to bring on another migraine. There are commercial prints on the wall, tasteful in the dull kind of way. Above every door he runs past are large plastic signs, dark with white lettering- no fancy fonts, just bold and all-caps. The freedom feels exhilarating, like the oxygen pumping through his lungs to his brain is a drug in itself. But all good things come to an end.

He doesn't make it very far.

The end of the hall. Here there is no openness, no space, nothing shines and it reeks of disinfectant everywhere.

"Baekhyun?"

As soon as he was distracted he was plummeted into the ground by staff, his hands roughly placed behind his back. He struggled ferociously, growling and pulling like a wild animal. You watched everything, frozen in place. It was an ungodly sight. The nurses eventually stabbed him back, probably with the same syringe, to sedate him.

Once again fear found its way in her perfect voice. The fear itself spoke to her in its cackling voice. It told her legs to go weak, her stomach to lurch and her heart to ache.

Your mother once told you that there was nothing to fear but fear itself, but still you could not silence its voice.

He tried to reach out to the one person that truly understood him. But as her body movements grew tighter he realized it was to no avail.

Her smiles were shorter and her silence longer.

He realized

He made a mistake.

*°*

𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚝
𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢, 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎
𝚋𝚊𝚍 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕— 𝙶𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛

Baekhyun remembers when you were in such a good mood all the time and how sickeningly annoying it was to him at first. He wanted to yeet you off the fucking planet. No matter how much negative spin he put on everything she'd keep that honey and glass smile that somehow made him know just how "everything is going to be alright."

Her smile almost never left her face and she's looking at me like I'm teenager having a tantrum. 𝑰𝒇 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒖𝒎𝒔 "𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒖𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒆..." 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝑰'𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒅𝒐 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒈𝒂𝒍.

But eventually he grew accustomed to your bubbly personality, he even grew fond of it. Needing that ray of sunshine in his dark, dreary life.

The smell of disinfectant awakened memories long forgotten, echos of those not so long ago hospital visits jarred his mind. Suddenly being forced to swim once more in the tide waters of the past, she walked down the corridor with attitude of a soldier returning to the battlefield.

His endless thoughts are interrupted as she enters, worry lines etched on her perfectly imperfect face and that godforsaken clipboard that was a reminder that he was a mere patient, not a friend, not anything more. Just a sick person she took pity on.

𝚒'𝚖 𝚙𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚘 𝚒'𝚖 𝚙𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚘, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎'𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚎

"Hi,"
He was sitting quietly and bleary-eyed. He looked tired as hell, weary of his godforsaken burdens. He could of easily pulled off being a walking zombie, dead on the inside but subconsciously awake.

"Do you wanna talk about what happened the other day?" you tried, with a touch of optimism.

It was shut down completely. "There's nothing to talk about," was his blunt, dead reply.

"I sincerely doubt that," you clicked your pen against the board, muttering to yourself. You'd never tell him, but when he was stubborn like this you feel as though energy is being constantly drained out of you, as though you're leaking electricity.

All you could do was stare silently at each other as the awkward atmosphere thickened.

"I'm sorry for running late that day, I never meant for all of this to happen," you murmured.

"Oh, I'm sure you didn't," Baekhyun scoffed, leaning back into his seat.

"What do you mean by that?" The words were thick and caught in your throat.

"What else?"

"Look Baekhyun, believe me when I say I want to help you. I only have your best interest in mind." He looked away from you and you reached and placed a hand on his arm. Firm but gentle. "But you need to cooperate."

"Or what? What're you gonna do, huh? Restrain me?" He looked towards your hand and yanked it away. "Go ahead, tie me up."

"I'm not going to do that." He was being extra stubborn today. Makes sense after his 'episode' yesterday, but you were determined to get to the bottom of his behavior. "I'm going to sit right here," you pulled up a chair, "and wait for you to tell me why you had such an outburst in my absence."

"Isn't it obvious?" he looked at you with those sad, tired eyes.

"I'd like to hear it from you."

"You really won't leave until I tell you?"

"I won't."

"Then I guess you'll never know."

"Then I guess I'll have to leave."

"Being hypocritical now, Y/N?" Something between a half smile and smirk formed on his face. His doe eyes lightened up. "That isn't like you."

"I wouldn't have to be if you would stop being so difficult."

"You're the one being difficult." Suddenly he was on his feet. You flinched at the quick movement, backing away. "Why can't you just stay here with me?" He kneeled in front of you, his hands and chin on your knees, like a small puppy. Except this puppy was 5'9". "Just stay by my side forever, please."

"I can't— " you were too taken aback to properly respond. Just a moment ago he didn't want to talk and now he's saying to run away with him?? You knew he had problems but with this type of suggestion he was absolutely mental.

"Run away with me. Let's get out of here. Just come with us and we'll never have to deal with these shitty people and this shitty place ever again—."

"Us?"

𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚘 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚎—
𝙶𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛
𝚒'𝚖 𝚙𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚘 𝚒'𝚖 𝚙𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚘, 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎

you want something in life, you have to get it yourself, fool. By any means necessary. I don't want to hurt her. By any means necessary.

"Come with us Y/N." He sits up. "Be my forever. Run away with me." He ripped himself free from the iv machine, grabbing onto your arms with a desperate mania in his eyes. "Just run away with me."

"I can't do that Baekhyun, you know that."

𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚘, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗—
𝙶𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛

"You never had a choice."

Before you could react he lurched your entire body forward and collided his thick ass skull to your face. Blood began to drip from your nostrils and he used your state of shock to his advantage. He pushed you onto the bed, straddling your figure and using practically all his weight to keep you down. You repeatedly hit his chest with your fists, crying now at the insanity of it all and your failure to heal him. He reached into his pocket and put a thick wet cloth over your mouth and nose. The ether-like odor was sickly sweet and numbed your system. It was surprisingly peaceful, and eventually you stopped struggling. The last thing you saw were his eyes. The eyes that once brightened with a promise to be better. But unfortunately as you closed your eyes they never looked so dark.

"Everything will be fine when you wake up, you'll see," a sickening smile manages to stay plastered on his face as he carries you away.

"I love you."

*°*