I stared boredly at the two girls who were presenting their project. "In conclusion, some products we use every day cause algae to grow in lakes," one girl presented, dumping a white substance into a beaker.

"Cutting off oxygen and disrupting the ecosystem," the other girl said, dropping a fish inside.

"So, what we've learned is that we must choose biodegradable products to help protect our environment."

My eyes widen when they pull the fish out only for it to be a bone now.

"Excellent report," Mr. Feeny complimented. "Inspired visuals. Next team."

Right next to me, Shawn and Cory high fived before going up to the board. I leaned forward in my seat in amusement. This should be good.

Shawn pulled down the map from the board. "How air pollution affects our everyday life," Cory told our teacher.

"Excellent topic," Mr. Feeny told them.

Both of my goofy friends pulled out two pointers.

Shawn pointed to a random place on the map. "Denver," he said causing Mr. Feeny to move the pointer to the right place. "High atop the majestic Rocky Mountains elevation 5,000 feet."

Cory did the same with his pointer causing Mr. Feeny to move it again. "Philadelphia lying low in the Delaware basin. 250 feet above sea level."

"Well researched," Mr. Feeny told them.

"Oh you'll love this, Mr. Feeny," I say with a smile.

Shawn pointed to a random place again, hitting the map, this time Mr. Feeny didn't correct him. "Denver clean crisp mountain air."

Cory followed, hitting the map
"Philadelphia polluted industrial smog."

Shawn repeated, hitting the map. "Mile High Stadium home of the Colorado Rockies."

Cory followed again on the map. "Veterans Stadium home of the Philadelphia Phillies."

"Oh, here we go," Mr. Feeny complained.

Shawn and Cory leaned over Mr. Feeny's desk, looking over the class. "The Rockies, a bogus expansion team, mind you, are averaging four more runs per game than anyone in the league because of their clean air," Shawn said.

"Our theory is if Philadelphia would clean up its smoggy air the ball would slice through the atmosphere with a greater velocity."

"Therefore the Phillies would score more runs."

"And win every home game." They both stood up straight. "The end." They pushed back their pointers in.

I clapped, but I was the only one in the class doing so.

Shawn bowed. "Thank you, Ms. Cooper."

I just laughed in response.

"So, how'd you like our report?" Cory asked Mr. Feeny.

"Stinks," our teacher answered.

Cory looked to Shawn. "Stinks!" He nudged Mr. Feeny. "How'd you like my half?"

"Relax, Mr. Matthews. I blame myself," Mr. Feeny told him, standing up.

"You do? Cool."

Cory and Shawn high fived before going to their desks.

"Yes. I let you choose your own partner. An astounding lapse of judgment for someone of my experience. I'm going to let you try again but this time I'll choose the teams. Mr. Hunter, you'll work with Mr. Minkus."

At the same, time Minkus and Shawn facepalmed themselves. "Oh, no," they said.

"And Mr. Matthews-"

"Yeah, I'll hook up with Mr. Sulivan," Cory looked to me.

"No, no. That's worse. You'll work with Miss Lawrence."

"Topanga?"

Topanga wasn't terrible, we worked together on this project.

Topanga turned to Cory. "Give me your hand."

"Why?" he asked.

"I want to see if our energies converge," she told him.

Cory stuck his hand out to Topanga.

"Ooh," Shawn teased causing me to lean over and hit his arm.

Topanga turned back to Mr. Feeny. "He's vibrationally acceptable."

Cory stood up, looking to Topanga. "Thanks." He went up to Mr. Feeny's desk. "Uh, Mr. Feeny, may I approach the bench?"

"Objection, Mr. Matthews?"

"Can you be swayed on this?"

"I'm Gibraltar."

"Come on, Mr. Feeny. Topanga's, like, totally strange."

"Strange is in the eye of the beholder, Mr. Matthews. I, for example have a young neighbor who sings along with his little sister's Barney records."

I laughed causing Cory to send me a look. "Betty!"

"What? I can't help, but laugh," I tell him.

"You hear that?" Cory asked Mr. Feeny.

***

"Hi, Shawny," I greet, setting my school lunch down before sitting down.

"Hey, Betts."

"Still annoyed you have to work with Minkus?" I ask him, biting into my hamburger.

"Yeah," he said in a 'duh' tone.

"Well, he not that bad."

"Betty, this in Minkus we're talking about. I don't think I can even be in the same room without insulting him."

I pinch his cheek. "You poor thing, Shawn Hunter," I say in baby voice. "Poor thing has to work with Stuart Minkus."

Shawn swatted my hands away as Cory sat down with his lunch.

"What do you guys think of my hair?" Cory asked us, looking into a spoon at his reflection.

"Guys don't ask guys that question," Shawn stated.

Cory nodded before looking to me. "Betty, what do you think of my hair?"

"Cory it's your hair style. It fits you just fine," I tell him.

"Well, would this qualify as a Brillo head?"

"Nah," Shawn disagreed, touching Cory's hair. "You're more like a Nerf head."

I sent Shawn a look as Cory gasped.
"You knew this, and you didn't tell me?"

You got curly hair. Big deal," I say.

"Can we move on now?" Shawn asked.

"Sure. It's easy for you guys to talk. You two got hair. I'm a Chia pet," Cory sighed.

Topanga came over to our table. "Cory, I got Jedidiah to drive me to your house after school."

Who's Jedidiah?" Cory questioned.

"My father."

"Wait. You call your father Jedidiah?"

"That's his name. What do you call your father?"

Well, like a lot of normal people I refer to him as 'Dad'."

"Then how do you tell him apart from all the other dads?" Topanga asked, generally confused.

"Look, Topanga, is there any way we can do this assignment on the phone or by telepathy?"

"It concerns our environment. I think it deserves more direct attention."

"Okay, okay. I'll see you at my house after school."

She held out a clipboard. "Before I leave I'd like you to sign a petition to save Mrs. Rosemead's job."

"Who's Mrs. Rosemead?" Shawn asked.

"Our librarian," I tell him.

"They're forcing her to retire. It's blatant ageism."

"Maybe because she's blatantly old," Shawn remarked.

"Look, can we talk about this later? We're real, real busy here," Cory said.

"No, we're not," I state only to have Cory nudge me.

"Fine. I'll respect your space," Topanga said.

"You know what? I'll sign your petition, Topanaga," I say.

She hands me the clipboard. "Thank you, Betty. Your signature means so much."

I nod before scribbling my name and handing it back to her, letting her leave.

Shawn chuckled once she was gone. "Wow. Feeny must really hate your guts."

I nudge him harshly again.

"Could be worse. At least he didn't give me Minkus," Cory said.

"Hey, Minkus doesn't like me, he doesn't trust me, and he doesn't respect me. So he's doing the whole assignment by himself. In my book, Stuart Minkus is a god."

"Then why were you complaining not too long ago?" I ask.

"Because you're my shoulder to whine on, Bettykins," he leaned against my shoulder.

I shrug him off as Cory scoffs. "Okay. If Minkus is a god, then why is he sitting at the weirdo table?"

We look to their table as Shawn said, "It's like the cast of The Addams Family. Don't they care what they look like?"

"Who cares what they look like?" Cory complained. "What am I going to do about my hair?"

"If you're that stressed out I'll ask my sister what she uses to straighten her hair."

"I didn't know she straightens her hair," I say.

"Yeah. If she didn't, it'd look as bad as oh, I don't know, Cory," Shawn looked at our curly haired friend.

***

After going home and doing my homework, Shawn came over and dragged me over to Cory's since they need a girl's opinion.

We entered Cory's kitchen. "Got the stuff," Shawn announced, but I bumped into him because he stopped in place. I look around him to see Topanga standing there with lipstick all over her face. "Use a mirror, babe."

"What stuff?" Topanga questioned.

Cory stood up. "Let me ask you something. What do you think of my hair? You think it looks good?"

"It's beautiful, like a desert tumbleweed."

Cory sighed. "Okay. Thank you for those thoughts." He gave Topanga her stuff back. "Look, Topanga, you want to do this performance thing, you go for it. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Are we all done for today?"

"Yeah. Shawn, Betty and I have another project we're working on now."

"Really? What is it?" Topanga asked, intrigued.

"It's-"

Shawn cut me off by covering my mouth with his hand.

"Well, you know how those dolphins get caught in the tuna nets?" Shawn came up with as I tried to take his hand off my mouth.

"Yeah."

"It's got nothing to do with that," Shawn said before closing the door on Topanga. I licked his hand causing him to groan. "Ew! Did you just lick my hand?"

"You wouldn't let go so I had to." I look to Cory. "Come on. Let's go change up your hair."

***

We went to his room where we had this kind of stuff you put in hair.

"So, should this stuff be burning?" Cory asked as we all exited the bathroom.

"Why? Is it burning?" Shawn asked.

"No. I'm just trying to make conversation because we never really get to talk," Cory sassed.

"No, sarcasm," I tell him. "How bad's it burning?"

"Bad," he answered before looking to Shawn. "Call your sister. Ask her if my ears should feel like throbbing jalapenos."

Shawn did so. "Hi, Stacey. It's me. Listen, Cory wants to know if that stuff you sent over should be burning... Uh-huh...Really?"

"Hurting! Hurting now!" Cory exclaimed, waving his hands around.

"Stacey wants to know how long it's been burning?" Shawn asked.

"40, 45 minutes."

45 minutes," Shawn answeres through the phone.

"Shawn, I'm going to rip my head off!" Cory yelled.

"Cor, relax," I tell him.

"I can't!"

"Stacey says you should've washed it out 45 minutes ago," Shawn said. Cory screamed before running to the bathroom. "Stacey says you shouldn't have left it in so long. Stacey says why didn't you two idiots read the label?" He yelled before returning back to the phone. "Oh, thanks, Stace."

Cory let out a loud, long scream that Philadelphia, no, the world could hear.

I gasped at Cory's hair as Mrs. Matthews and Eric came in. They all let out screams.

Me and Shawn share a look before he said, "I had nothing to do with this."

Shawn grabbed my hand and we ran out of the room.

"Bye Mrs. Matthews!" I yell.

***

"All right. Next up for oral reports: Miss Lawrence and Mr. Matthews," Mr. Feeny said in class the next day. "Let's go, Mr. Matthews. Remove your cap and deliver your report."

Cory stayed seated. "I can't remove my cap because our report is on the ozone layer and the cap is part of our UV-protection angle."

That's a pretty believable lie, but Mr. Feeny disregarded it. "No caps in my class."

"Mr. Feeny," Cory stood up. "If there was one shred of humanity in you you'll let me keep this on."

"Too many years of sixth graders have bled me of my humanity. Take off your cap."

Cory frowned before taking off his hat. The whole class laughed except me and Topanga. I frowned when I notice Shawn laughing too.

"Go ahead, laugh," Cory told Topanga.

"Your hair looks different. Why would I laugh?" she asked.

***

At lunch, Cory's hair was still the same. People were still laughing, but as Cory made his way to our table, Shawn called. "Over here...duck head."

Zack and Shawn were laughing their heads off as I sighed in annoyance. 

Cory looked over to Topanga's table who pointed to a spare seat. "Cory there's a seat for you here."

Cory looked over to our table, and I motion for him to sit next to me. "Come on, Cor." Cory looked to my brother and Shawn who were still laughing before going to Topanga's table.

I close the book slowly I had on the table and hit Shawn in the shoulder with it.

"Ouch, you lunatic," Shawn told me, trying to block my hits.

"Well, how could you say that, Shawn?" I say while he grabbed my book.

"Calm down," Zack told me. "We're just joking."

I roll my eyes, throwing myself back in my seat and reading my book again.

***

A few days later, Cory's hair was back to normal. I sat in my usual seat at lunch, reading my book again until Shawn took his usual seat next to me.

"Hey, Betts," Shawn greeted.

I close my book slowly again. "Shawny," I reply.

Shawn saw me close my book. "Oh man." He raised his arms in a blpcking defense. "Don't attack me again. I didn't do anything today."

"Key word, Shawn: Today," I answer.

"Why do you always have to assume I'm going to do something bad, Betty."

"I know you, Shawny," I state.

"Clearly not well enough, Elizabeth," he muttered, lowering his defense, but I heard him. I smacked him in the shoulder with the book. "Ow! I didn't even do anything."

I sent him a teasing smile. "You called me by my full name which you know I hate. This just proves you always do something."

Shawn rolled his eyes, but there was a trace of his smile as Cory sat down.

"Hey, touch football in my backyard after school," Shawn announced to us.

"You know I'm there," I say.

"Yeah. I'll be there," Cory said, but not before looking back at Topanga who pulled on a Phillies cap.

***

I stan Betty and Shawn's friendship. What do you think they're ship name should be?

Shetty? Shawtty? Bawn?