Class Pre-Union
In class today, Minkus was at the front of the classroom as King George and Cory was George Washington. "Taxation Without representation." Mr. Feeny looked to Minkus. "King George."
"We provide the colonists with all their finished manufactured goods," Minkus spoke up. "We deserve remuneration."
Mr. Feeny looked to Cory. "General Washington."
Cory spoke up, "Fine. Keep your goods. Like we need your stinking British goods. We're American. We're independent. We'll get our goods from Japan."
"General, I'm dying for you to elaborate."
"What's the point, Mr. Feeny? We all know we kicked British butt."
"Winners and losers aside, General. If we do not understand history we are doomed to repeat its mistakes."
"Oh, who cares about George Washington? Who cares about King George? Was every boring guy in history named George?"
"Uh, Cory..." I call pointing to our teacher's name tag.
Cory slowly looked to Mr. Feeny with a nervous smile. "I meant, every dead boring guy."
"Apparently, the past holds no fascination for you," Mr. Feeny stated.
"No. It's happened. It's done."
"It's history."
"I'm saying."
"Perhaps we should study your history, Mr. Matthews."
"I have no history, Mr. Feeny. I'm eleven. I'm more interested in my future."
"Oh, well, then it might be more interesting for us to look into our futures to see if we can avoid our mistakes before they happen."
"I smell an assignment," Shawn commented.
"Cory, why can't you just go with history?" I ask, feeling lazy today.
"I swear, Betty, I didn't see it coming," Cory told me.
Mr. Feeny got up. "The assignment for all of you is to create personal histories for yourselves as if you were returning for your 20th high school reunion."
"More like a pre-union," Minkus spoke up.
"Well said, Mr. Minkus. You are the graduating class of the year 2000. What is your profession? Do you have children? Are those children tormenting their sixth-grade teacher?"
Minkus stood up. "Mr. Feeny, would it be okay if I brought my wife?"
"Oh, come on, Minkus, what's going to marry you?" Shawn replied.
Minkus looked to- "Topanga."
Topanga closed her book. "Why, Stuart, I'm flattered that you would consider me as a potential life mate, but I'm not sure I even recognize the institution of marriage."
"Trust me, babe, I've seen the future and it's me."
***
At lunch, me, Shawn and Cory walked to our table.
"So what are you going to be, Shawny?" I ask.
"Same thing my dad does," Shawn replied as we reach our spot.
"You're going to show up as a tire salesman?" Cory questioned.
"That's what my dad does," Shawn repeated.
"So?"
We all sat down with Larry. "I know what to wear. I know how to use a pressure gauge. I can spot a retread from a mile away."
"Shawn, I know how to do all that stuff, but I'm not gonna show up as a tire salesman," I tell him.
"Saleswoman," Shawn corrected.
"Whatever."
"Shawn, you're so boring," Cory told him.
"And lazy," Shawn added.
"What about you, Betty?" Cory asked me.
"I'm thinking about being an artist, a painter maybe," I say.
"Why?"
"Probably because Mrs. Engles suggested it in art," Shawn said.
"Yeah, I'd love for the world to be on my canvas," I add.
"How about you, Larry?" Cory asked.
"I got an angle," he stated.
"Let's hear it."
"I'm going to be a sixth-grade teacher. Better yet, I'm going to be Feeny."
"Why?"
"Imitation is the sincerest form of butt-kissing."
"Wait a minute. Weren't we supposed to be what we wanted to be? I mean, you're going to grow up to be your dad and you're going to grow up to be a Feeny clone. Are me and Betty the only ones left here with some vision?"
"What are you going to go as?" Shawn asked.
"Cory Matthews center fielder for the Philadelphia Phillies." The guys started laughing, but I tried to hold it back, covering my smile. "What are you laughing at?"
"You had 31 errors in Little League last season."
"Okay, so I didn't play up to my enormous potential. Come on, guys, let's be what we really want to be. Are we going to be men or are we going to be men with boring jobs?"
"We're going to be men!" Shawn exclaimed before him, Cory and Larry started barking like dogs. I just sat back and watched laughing.
***
At home, I started painting, working on very detailed water lilies. I remember seeing them once in a pond in California.
Zack stood in the doorway of my room. "I don't get it," Zack stated.
"What's not to get?" I ask as I had just explained to him our project.
"So Feeny wants you to come up with a dream job, right?" I nod, not looking away from my painting. "And you want to be a painter?"
"Well, yeah," I state. "Mrs. Engles said I'm good at it and because Cory and Shawn thinks so too."
Zack walked near me and looked over my shoulder at my painting. "Not bad, sis, not bad at all."
"If you were in my class what would you be?" I question.
"Oh, I know the answer to this one..."
"For the first time in forever," I mumble to myself.
"I'm going to be doctor." I turned around on the stool to face him with raised eyebrows. "What?"
"You do know that working in the medical field requires years of school?"
"Yeah, so?"
I scoff, putting down my paintbrush, and stare right at him. "So..." I say, chuckling. "If I remember correctly, you are Zack Cooper. And Zack hates school."
He sighed. "Oh man, I forgot. Why can't there be easier jobs?"
"That's just how the world is, Zack," I reply before returning back to painting the crystal blue water.
***
At school-
I set up my painting nearby the window underneath the welcome back banner. My hair was up in it's usual ponytail, I wearing my flannel and pants that still had paint marks on it from Shawn's and I's paint fight. Most of the paint came out, but forever it would be stained.
"Wow, Betty," I turn around to see Topanga. "You have such an excellent skill for the work of fine art."
I smile. "Thank you, Topanga," I say. "And you...have an excellent toga."
"I accept your compliment. Togas remove the hostile competition that fashion often creates."
"That's impressive."
I glance behind to see Shawn and Cory.
"Yikes," I say, walking over and looking towards Shawn's costume and now large gut.
"A tire salesman. I can't believe you came as a tire salesman," Cory stated.
"And muffler specialist," Shawn added.
"Okay, but what's with the big gut, Shawny?" I ask, poking his stomach that felt more like a stuffed pillow.
"My dad's fat, my uncle's fat, my grandpa's fat. Let's face it, Betts, I'm going to be fat," he told me.
I roll my eyes, shoving him slightly sitting back against the window to watch how everything goes with everyone else's project.
"President of the United States," Mr. Feeny read off Topanga's paper. "Very ambitious, Miss Lawrence."
"Yes and no," she answered. "Not many people want the job anymore."
"Oh, why is that? Well, now that I've disbanded the military and eliminated nuclear weapons the position is not as seductive."
"I see.That's rather an unusual costume for a president, isn't it?" he looked to her toga.
"We all wear togas now. It removes the hostile competition that fashion often creates," she repeated what she said to me before.
"This world of yours seems like quite a peaceful and loving place," Mr. Feeny said.
"Yes, especially since we moved all men underground and use them just for breeding."
I tried to hide my giggle at Topanga's response as Mr. Feeny glanced at Minkus. "Well, a few moments ago, Mr. Minkus mentioned that you were his lovely wife."
"Stuart and I obviously do not see eye-to-eye on our futures."
"We're married," Minkus said, hearing Topanga.
"You're breeding stock," Topanga quickly replied.
"I'll take it."
Mr. Feeny came up to me next as I hand him my paper. "Thank you, Ms. Cooper," Mr. Feeny said, then looking over my occupation. "Ah, an art gallery director. Very creative."
"It is actually. I started my career a few years after I graduated the University of Arts."
"Excellent school, but what do you mean start out your career?"
"Well, after I graduated, I started going to art auctions were I bought paintings for inspiration and by the time I was twenty-five I started painting more and managed for others to buy my own works," I say, motioning to my painting near the window.
"Quite inspiring indeed."
"But I became a director when I had started working out small as a painter in an art gallery, eventually after three years, I managed to reach the position of director now not only does my gallery shows the works of other artists, but mine as well."
"Ms. Cooper, your career seems very well thought through. Yet, what's you average salary and do you have a retirement plan for years later?"
"My average salary is just around $54,000 per year and my plan for when I retire is 401(k) or 403(b) which is most likely offered by my much larger employer."
Mr. Feeny smiled, writing down something on my paper. "An 'A', Ms. Cooper, for a very well thought out future," he said, handing my paper back and walking to his desk.
"Nice painting, Betts...as always," Shawn told me.
"Thanks, I-" I cut myself off as I turn to him. "Are you mocking my skill?"
Shawn raised his eyebrows. "Maybe a little."
"Shawny, you and I both know I'm not going to listen to someone who stuffed their work suit with a pillow just to make them look fat," I say, poking the pillow multiple times.
"Hey," he swatted my hands away. "I know I'm going to be fat."
"Sure, Shawny," I reply. No way, Shawn Hunter would ever be fat.
"An incomplete?" I hear Cory question Mr. Feeny. "That's an 'I'. That's lower than an 'F'. That's down there by 'M'. You can't do this."
"Why not?" Mr. Feeny questioned.
"'Cause it's not like you're giving me an incomplete on some dinky quiz. You threw me out before I even got to first base. You took away my future."
Mr. Feeny sighed before walking away to someone else.
***
After school, me and Zack were on our way to the park with a few baseballs and a bat since we wanted to play baseball, but on our way, we stopped in front of Cory's house.
"Okay, why are we going to Cory's?" Zack questioned.
"Because he had his feelings crushed by our teacher and I want to see if he wants to come with us," I say as we walked towards the door.
I raised my hand to knock only to hear Cory say: "Hi, Mrs. Cooper." Why was Cory talking to my mom. "Can you tell Betty and Zack to come and get over to my house now. Jim Abbott's in my kitchen. They'll understand-"
Just like that, me and Zack were shoving each other just open the door. Once we were in, we looked to Cory and Eric. "Hey, we're here," I say breathlessly, shifting my baseball in my hand.
"How'd you guys get here so fast?" Eric asked.
"We live next door remember?" I tell him.
"Plus we heard your big mouth through the door," Zack commented to Cory.
"Guys, somebody here I'd like you to meet," Mr. Matthews looked to their sons and now us.
I froze up. There he was. Jim Abbott wearing a Yankees jacket...and standing in my best friend's house. I was stiff just as was my twin beside me. I heard the clatter of our wooden bat fall from Zack's hands.
"Cory, Eric. Wouldn't you like to meet Jim Abbott?" Mr. Matthews motioned to the man beside him. No of us moved. "I guess not." That's what got me to unfreeze.
My screams mixed with Zack's, Eric's and Cory's.
I was the first to move approaching the man, sticking my hand out. "Hi, I'm Betty Cooper, best, best friend to Cory Matthews," I say as he shook my hand. "That's my brother, Zack."
Zack slowly approached the man. "I'm Jim, nice to meet you, Zack," my brother said before face palming himself. "I-I mean I'm Zack."
Jim chuckled. "Nice to meet you both."
I sigh, happily as Cory and Eric went up to him. He shook Eric's hand. "Hi, guys." He shook Cory's hand. "Hi. How are you doing? You must be Cory."
"I'm whoever you want me to be," Cory told him.
"Your dad's told me a lot about you."
He has? But how did he-How did Dad-Why are you in my house?" he questioned.
Eric nudged his brother. "Cory, don't bug the man with a lot of little-boy questions." He tried to make his voice deeper. "So, Jim, why are you in our house?"
"Well, I heard that Cory here wants to be in the big leagues someday," Jim stated, looking to my friend
"Who, me? Nah, stupid idea. I gave up on that. Guys like me don't make it to the majors," Cory told him.
"Well, there's a guy I know who has a son who always dreamed of playing in the major leagues until a certain teacher told him that maybe it wasn't such a good idea."
"This sounds familiar to me."
"Well, it sounded familiar to me, too."
"It did?"
"Sure. One time I had a high school coach who said I should never play in the major leagues and that only made me work 50 times harder."
"Really? You ever go back to that coach and rub it in his face?"
"Nah, Jim's too cool to do that, aren't you, Jim?" Eric questioned.
"No, actually," Jim answered. "I sent him a videotape of my no-hitter."
"Cool. I guess you showed him."
"Well, actually, he showed me. He showed me an application to a place called the University of Michigan."
"Why'd he do that?"
"Well, he was smart enough to know that if I didn't make it to the major leagues someday at least I'd have a major league education."
"So you think I can get into the University of Michigan? I mean, now that I got connections and everything?"
"I think you'll be all right, Cory. You got one big thing going for you."
"Oh? You heard about how well I bunt?"
""Well, that and the fact that you've got a great dad who lets his kids have big dreams and he's also just crazy enough to send a total stranger 63 telegrams."
I looked to Mr. Matthews who said, "Gee, you only got 63 of them?"
"You did that for me, Dad?" Cory asked. "But how'd you know he'd show up?"
"I didn't know. But a guy can dream, can't he?" Mr. Matthews tossed two baseballs to Cory and Eric. "Hey, Jim, you mind signing these for these guys?"
"Sure," he agreed.
Taking this as my time to step in, I hold up my baseball. "Can I have one too?"
"Me too!" Zack piped in.
Suddenly, Shawn, Larry and pretty much anyone we knew in our school came in.
"I want one, too!" Shawn exclaimed.
Minkus looked to the basketball in his hands. "Apparently, I've brought the wrong ball," he said.
I start laughing, rolling my eyes.
***
Hi!
Not much of a Bawn episode, but I re-watched the next episode and I can clearly state there will definitely be alot of moments of them.
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