chapter eight / season three.

PENELOPE GARCIA MISSED AMELIA LEVINE.

The technical analyst wasn't sure she was going to make it to the end of Amelia's leave without bursting into tears and proclaiming that she missed the latest agent in the BAU.

That might've been dramatic, but that was how Penelope felt.

There was nothing more Penelope loved than family. And the girl had lost hers in her teen years, a car accident and a drunk driver. Penelope will never be ridded of the guilt she feels still to this day. But, there's one thing in this world that lessens that guilt, everyday.

And that's walking into the office building, scanning her badge (knowing she's the best dressed in the whole building) and walking into the bullpen where her fellow agents greet her. Except, they aren't just agents.

No. No.

They're family.

They lessen Penelope's guilt everyday, they flirt with her on the phone, they go shopping with her and laugh when she fills her hands with bags, she manages to make one of them crack a smile every so often and she always make one of them feel welcome.

They lessen that guilt for her, they do something for her and in return she'll give them her technical skills but she'll also wear her bright colored clothing so that not everything is doom and gloom, she provides that safe space within an office.

She makes the office home, really.

The family spends more hours in this building than what they do in their actual homes, so if Penelope can make their hearts just a little bit less heavy than she's more than up for the job.

They were a family because, unknowingly, they all make each others days easier, they made each others hearts less heavy, they made each other feel safe, welcomed and apart of something special.

Penelope made sure that whenever they gained a new agent that they were apart of the family within seconds.

They needed someone welcoming when your Unit Chief was Aaron Hotchner and didn't exactly make the job easier for Penelope.

Except, Penelope had only gotten to welcome two agents so far. Elle Greenaway. Who had fit in so well that there wasn't much need to make sure she fit in - Elle had been teasing Derek from the moment they met, and that was enough for Penelope. And Emily. Emily had a rocky start all because of Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner, surprised? But, within time everyone had made sure Emily had her place in this office.

Penelope had dealt with more family members leaving lately.

She didn't like that, not one bit.

But, Jason Gideon comes back from his temporary leave after the death of his friend and brings his anxious, sweetheart of a friend Amelia Levine.

Penelope had fallen in love with the new family member right there and then.

And that wasn't being dramatic, that was Penelope telling the truth.

Penelope was no profilier but she had some skills in it, even if she hadn't been meaning to learn them - she just spent a lot of time with Derek Morgan (and that had a lasting impact) So, when Derek calls her and tells her about the new agent who can't stop their hands from shaking and the most contradictory personality to their Unit Chief, well, Penelope had her files up within seconds.

Amelia Levine. Born on the 8th of October 1977.

A libra. Interesting.

Penelope had been quite happy to sit there reading how the girl had been the perfect student, quiet and a pleasure to teach. One of Amelia's high schools had even reported that they wished all teenagers were like Amelia. The analyst, with few profiling skills, quickly decided that Amelia was going to be a tough cookie to crack. A tough cookie who has lived in; New York (where she was born), Florida (where she'd been taken to three days after being born), Michigan (where she'd only lived for two years), Texas (where she'd stay for three years), Oregon (another two year stay), San Francisco (which had been Amelia's longest stay of five years) and Washington. The state she stayed in until she turned 22.

Penelope doubted the girl liked moving around so much. She also doubted the girl found making friends easy considering she'd lived just about everywhere.

Amelia had also attended college around the same time Jason Gideon gave special guest lectures. Except, that had not been the place they had become friends considering they hadn't actually crossed paths at the college.

Penelope knew there was a funny story there.

It was when Penelope began to dig into her latest family member's work history that she got worried for the woman. The academy hadn't been a pretty journey but it's reported that Amelia came out on top, not with words - oh no! - Amelia proved them wrong with her actions and beat them all in tests and things like that.

Amelia Levine was some officer.

So, much so, that she caught herself in a bank robbery or what had been reported as a bank robbery but was quite possibly the furthest thing from such. It was a suicide bomber, who's thumb had inched closer to the detonator when Amelia came through the front doors, her supervisor panting and following after her after she had recklessly taken the decision to go into the building first.

Amelia lowered her gun. She took off her police jacket.

She stood in her vest and blue shirt.

She was just Amelia, stood in a funny costume, stood in-front of someone on the worst day of their life.

According to the reports Amelia had been outstanding in getting him to lower the device. And she had.

The Seattle negotiators just had to have her.

Unit Chief, CONRAD JAMES, just had to have a talent like that in his unit. To the point, he trained her in under a year and had her running solo negotiations six months in. "She learnt from the best." He'd commented, in reference to himself.

Penelope had rolled her eyes at that.

When Penelope dug deeper into Amelia's negotiations career it just seemed to be case after case, after case. The Unit Chief had been overworking Amelia, and that had just been ignored. Other agents in the unit had tried to complain and even Amelia had tried to, but it all went unnoticed.

The thing that stuck out to Penelope was that Amelia never seemed to come under fire in the confidential complaints.

That made her smile.

The agents could see that not even Amelia wanted that workload.

Penelope thought Amelia might've already been accustomed to one family.

That would make things easier, surely?

One complaint had been particularly vulgar and that had stemmed from CLARA BEAUMONT.

Penelope liked Clara Beaumont. She used many more words to stick up for Amelia, just in the number of words used the blonde could tell it had been Amelia and Clara who had been closest in the unit.

That's why the reports that followed hurt Penelope the most, to know that Amelia's closest friend had lost her life in her first solo negotiation.

And there was so many 'classified' files to unlock there, so much to dig into.

And Penelope did it with ease.

The Unit Chief had had a momentary breakdown in the field. The complaints were piling up, the tired glare of Amelia Levine was breaking into the back of his head, the unhappy glare of four other agents and, most importantly, the pissed off glare of Clara Beaumont.

Things were falling apart.

And if James didn't cut someone loose soon, things were really going to fall apart.

He'd send Clara in, claim it had been Amelia's suggestion and encouraged by Amelia because after all, they were good friends.

Amelia had done no such thing. Amelia didn't believe Clara was prepped enough for being sent in that building with her blue vest on. Clara wasn't ready, not for her first solo negotiation.

She shouldn't go in alone.

That's what Amelia had argued.

James didn't listen.

Clara died.

When the unit was investigated there was individual statements, James had spewed his lies at the board. Too little, too late. Everybody else already had their statements heard by the board, with their truths that James had shown favoritism and gave Amelia so many negotiations that she couldn't go on anymore.

They hadn't blamed Amelia.

Not once.

James had.

Multiple times.

And failed.

Penelope smiled when she saw that James had been fired. And then rung Derek, leaving out the information on James because no doubt the man would have some nasty things to say and Penelope did not feel like hearing those.

Penelope and Derek were the only two who weren't surprised by Amelia's actions in Milwaukee when she'd persisted on going in with Emily. The two were also the only ones who understand why Amelia never liked standing on people's toes in profiles. And Penelope was the only one who wasn't surprised when Derek informed her that she'd sought reassurance that she'd hadn't fired Hotch.

In all honesty, Penelope loved Amelia Levine like a mother duck loved her littlest duck. The blonde was sure she'd do anything to keep Amelia in the BAU and safe.

That's why when Penelope had noticed the girl's lack of sleep, lack of coffee and lack of energy she had got in contact with Amelia's parents and hunted down Strauss for them. Penelope had put it all together for the girl to return to after Oregon.

What the files had failed to tell Penelope was the estranged relationship between father and daughter, and the arguments they hide from the mother. The files failed to mention how much of a hell hole Amelia's apartment would actually be when her parents inhabit it for three days.

(Three days too many)

So, Penelope missed her best friend (joint 1st place with Derek). Tremendously. She missed Amelia a lot. Even if she'd been the one to send her away.

Derek had only mentioned the letter Amelia sent her parents after the girl made her way out the building, silently, whilst her parents talked her ear off.

That had resulted in a scolding for Derek.

Penelope was particularly nervous for the day that Amelia comes back into the office. The original plan was that the latest member of the family would come back all refreshed after lots of sleep and parental love, Penelope now doubted if that was going to happen.

But, she had another fourty-eight hours till she saw Amelia again, so she'd spend that time preparing.

(Penelope also knew the minutes and seconds due to the countdown clock they'd placed on Amelia's desk)

Derek caught her staring at the clock, laughing quietly before approaching the analyst, "You really miss Amelia, don't you, Mama?"

Penelope just stared at the picture of Amelia ahead, "Is it hard not to? I basically got her that break, but it feels like a member of the family has moved across the state."

Emily furrowed her brows from her seat, at her desk, "Garcia, she lives about ten minutes away. If you wanted to visit—"

"No, no!" Penelope exclaimed, turning around frantically to the woman, "What if I interrupt family time? I can't bring myself to do that."

Derek scoffed, "You'd only be missing out on her dad's stories about his biggest and bestest surgeries yet!" (Amelia had heard them all last night, every time she'd heard them all before she sipped her wine) (She'd drank two bottles last night)

"What are you saying?" Penelope turned to him with furrowed eyebrows, "He was a lovely man when he spoke to me."

"Yeah. He's that type."

Penelope looked between Spencer and JJ, wondering what Derek was talking about. "What do you mean, 'that' type."

"A narcissistic."

"A dickhead."

Emily and Derek responded at the same time. (Whose answer is whose?)

"He is not!"

Derek raised his eyebrows at Penelope's protest, "While you were being shown baby Amelia pictures, he spent the whole time talking about how he cut the umbilical cord and had to rush down to the most invigorating brain surgery he'd preformed."

"The birth of his own daughter, doesn't trump that surgery, princess."

"Amelia doesn't like him anyway." Emily said, sipping on her coffee and ignoring Penelope's look.

Spencer nodded in agreement, "She doesn't. If anything, she looked frightened of him. I heard the tapping of her fist against her thigh before I saw it," he recreated it as they all listened, "Amelia only does that when she's frightened of someone or something."

"She did it when Hotch got back from suspension. And when she was hiding her nail polish from Strauss." Spencer relayed the information he'd seen and heard from Derek.

"I thought she did the picking of her nail polish when she was frightened?" Penelope asked with a frown on her face.

Emily shook her head, "That's when she's anxious. Which for Amelia is every second of every waking day but she picks her nails when she's really anxious."

"So, I just sent Amelia away on a three day trip with a man she's frightened of?" Penelope's voice pitched a few levels higher.

"Only her dad, though," Spencer shrugged, as if it was nothing, "If anything, she was much more closer to her mom. They displayed signs of affection and stood closer to each other than they ever did to the dad."

"So I sentenced Amelia and her mother to three days with a man they're both frightened of?"

"No."

(Yes)

Except, Penelope had actually only sentenced Amelia to one day with her dad. (Lucky her, not her poor mom who was stuck with him for the rest of her life.)

Because, Amelia Levine was walking through the doors to the BAU right at that moment.

"I can't believe—"

Amelia Levine was walking through the doors to the BAU.

Amelia Levine was in the building.

Amelia Levine was in the building!

Penelope squealed with glee, missing the way Amelia had winced, "What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here for another fourty-seven hours and fifty-five minutes!"

Penelope had looked at her watch as her arms wrapped tightly around her best friend.

"And thirty-two seconds." Spencer added on.

"Thirty-one now, pretty boy." Derek teased, ruffling Spencer's hair as he passed.

The man had a smile on his face until he came face-to-face with Amelia.

"You look like shit."

Penelope gasped (having not seen Amelia yet) and slapped him on the arm, "Derek Morgan, do not be so rude! This is our friend, and she does not deserve that!"

Our friend. Amelia nearly laughed at that. They just accept her because it's apart of the job.

"I feel like shit, it's fine." Amelia said, quietly, as she pulled away from Penelope and made her way towards her desk. Dumping a fresh go bag on the floor and fighting a smile when she saw the countdown clock.

It's just part of the job to countdown till your co-worker comes back.

"Did you take Mama Levine clubbing or something?" Derek asked, with a hint of worry in his voice. Not that Amelia had actually done that but that something more drastic had happened in the comfort of her home.

He doubted it was very comforting at the moment.

"That's not a 'Mama Levine' scene. We just drank wine at home and had to watch surgical programs." Amelia told them, busying herself with finding nothing on her desk instead of looking at them.

"Surgical programs?" Emily asked. "I don't even want I imagine how boring that was."

"What can I say? My dad's a bit of a surgical fiend."

Your dad is a bit of a dick - Derek wasn't going to verbalize his thoughts, but he was certainly going to think them and tell them to Penelope and Emily.

"Are you coming back?" JJ asked, sharing a not-so-discreet look with Spencer.

"Coming back makes it sound like I was going for ages. I only missed one working day, and that was enough." Amelia told them, still searching through her drawers for something, "They're going to drive me crazy if I spend another day at the apartment."

She laughed.

As if it was funny and just something you said about your parents when they stayed over.

It was. Most people didn't mean it.

Amelia did.

"What are you looking for?" Spencer asked, looking over her shoulder to see her frantically searching for something.

Amelia's fist clenched and unclenched when she realized people were watching.

He doesn't really care.

It's just part of the job.

The voice kept haunting her, whenever one of her co-workers spoke or even breathed. Everything they'd done in recent weeks was just part of the job.

They weren't friends.

Just co-workers.

Really friendly co-workers.

"Amelia." Derek's voice coaxed her out of listening to her dad's taunt.

Her head snapped up at him, "Yeah?"

"What are you looking for, sunshine?"

Friends don't care.

He doesn't want to know.

His fingers clicked in-front of her face, "Amelia?"

He does care.

"Just some painkillers. I put some in here and I can't find them." She trailed off, they could all detect some frustration in her voice.

Penelope grabbed hold of her shaking hands that hovered over the mess of her top drawer (her everything desk drawer) "Just sit down, Amelia. I'll get you some from my lair, okay? And we'll throw it into a much cleaner draw for you."

"There's some in there, I swear." Amelia muttered as she was essentially pushed into her chair by Derek.

Penelope nodded, "We'll find them later, let me just go and get you some really quickly, okay?"

No.

Amelia nodded her head.

Penelope scurried off as quick as her high-heeled feet could carry her.

JJ rested her hand on the back of Amelia's chair, "Are you okay, Amelia?"

She nodded, "Yeah. I knew I would've regretted opening that second bottle."

Emily furrowed her brows, "You don't have to be here today, you know that right? If you need today off, you can just go back home. That's the perks of a Garcia mandated break."

Emily knew how bad things had to be for you to make your way down to the office on an off day.

"I, really, do not want to go back home." They all turned their heads to her.

Said too much.

They're co-workers. They don't need to know. They won't care.

JJ's hand suddenly came into contact with her forehead, seemingly checking for a fever of some sort.

Amelia tried to swat it away until the blonde decided she did not have a fever.

"Is everything okay at home, honey?" JJ asked.

Amelia couldn't tell you how many teachers had asked Amelia that same question. The woman never understood what she had done to give the impression that nothing was okay at home. Because everything was perfect at home.

(Mom stayed home. Dad would come home right on time. Make me cry and make me apologize, overwhelm me with hugs and then send me to my room. My parents would then argue about me.

Didn't that snippet just seem perfect?)

Amelia nodded, almost eagerly, much like she'd done before, "Yeah. I just forgot how my dad could be and stuff."

Amelia realized that when she said things like that it didn't exactly give off the best impression.

She looked up at Morgan JJ, Reid and Prentiss. "Not like that. He's not like that." How do you plan on digging yourself out of this hole, Amelia?

"It's more like..." He doesn't hit me, not with his fists at least, he just sure knows how to hit me in the gut with his words.

"He just isn't very accepting of my job." Amelia told them, not that they'd care, "That's why we watch those documentaries 'cause he thinks it'll win me other somehow."

Reid thought Thomas should give himself brain surgery.

"I'm back! I'm back!" Penelope flapped her arms as she came running back into the bullpen with painkillers and two drinks in hand. "I got the painkillers, a bottle of water and the pink lemonade drink you like from the cafe."

Part of the job. That's just something co-workers know.

"Thank you." Amelia whispered, taking the bottles in her hands.

They visibly shook.

Derek took them from her hands and opened them both, placing them down on the desk for her.

Amelia looked at him as if he'd just kicked her in the face, "You don't... you don't need to do that for me."

For me.

Derek felt as though he was staring back at the girl who hadn't known her place in this family, the girl who didn't know who she was to these people.

"Amelia, I don't have to. I want to."

Still, she looked at him as if he'd said something in a language she didn't understand.

Penelope watched her friend swallow the bitter pill with wary eyes.

Aaron Hotchner walked into the bullpen wondering why everyone was congregating around Amelia's desk. But then again, the same thing had been happening yesterday with Penelope reduced to tears.

He hadn't understood and made the mistake of questioning the woman.

Aaron wouldn't do that again.

"Everyone, I believe I told you yesterday—"

"Amelia."

The name fell from his lips in a tone no-one else had heard before. Derek stared at him as if he was crazy.

Emily grinned.

Hotchner cleared his throat, to correct his mistake, "Agent Levine, what are you doing here?"

"Ready to be put to work."

"You have two more days—"

"I don't want them."

She would quite happily give her vacation days to Anderson. He deserved them a lot more than she did.

Hotchner nodded his head in the direction of his office.

Emily laughed, loudly, as the girl followed after him like a student ready to be told off in the Headteacher's office.

"We all know he's going to let her stay here." Derek informed them.

Amelia heard Derek's comment just before she stepped over the threshold of her Unit Chief's office. Wasn't this familiar?

It was just a day for past times.

Amelia had stood in her Unit Chief's office before, while he'd sat in his chair with his hands together and promised her his support in the ongoing investigation into the unit.

He had lied.

Hotchner hadn't sat down or put his hands together. He watched her.

She took in her surroundings.

He had more decor than her, which wasn't surprising. And a few picture frames littered across the room, one had a blonde woman and a little boy in - wife and son, obviously.

A cute looking son and happy looking wife.

The picture was old.

The Unit Chief's son was probably still cute, but his wife probably wasn't happy with all the late nights he'd been staying for.

Amelia stood with her hands behind her back when she realized Hotchner was watching her.

"You shouldn't be here. You should be at home."

Home. That's a funny word to describe Amelia's apartment at the moment.

"I'm better off here, Sir."

"Are you?" He asked, leaning against his desk and crossing his suited arms across his chest, "There was a pack of painkillers, two bottled drinks and a total mess of a desk when I walked past."

"Are you really better off here?"

"I'm better off here, than I am over there, I promise you that, Sir."

Over there.

She avoided the use of the word 'home.' How interesting.

For a spilt second, Hotchner let his stern Unit Chief face fall and instead Amelia met concerned Hotchner.

"Is everything alright with your parents, Levine?"

Gideon asked the same question once, word for word. He quickly learnt the answer.

Amelia didn't lie to him.

Amelia lied to Hotchner.

"Yeah. It's just how we are, you know?"

Just how we are. For Aaron Hotchner that meant a slap at the hands of his father, and his mother condemned to watch from the corner of the room as his brother slept soundly.

What did it mean for Amelia?

Her hand beat against her thigh when she said it.

Hotchner looked up at her, "You can tell me the truth, Levine. If there's something going on—"

"This is nothing going on," she was frustrated. "Sir."

Frustrated like she was with her dad when he wouldn't listen to her, frustrated like when she couldn't pop the cork off of her wine bottle and thought about throwing it against the white wall in her connected living room and dining room, frustrated like when she couldn't find the painkillers in her mess of a drawer.

"Levine, I don't think you're in the right.. place... to be back."

Amelia sighed, "I am, I promise, Sir." She rubbed at her eyes, "I can sit at my desk and do paperwork and I won't even speak, if that's the problem."

"And if we get sent to the field, I'll follow you like a shadow!"

"I just can't go home." She noticed her slip up from earlier and corrected it, "I can't go home. Don't send me home."

She was begging him to not go home.

Aaron Hotchner would kill to go home, but he didn't even know where home was anymore.

"Gun." He held out his hand.

Amelia looked perplexed.

"Right now, I don't trust you in the field. You're a liability with a weapon. I can't have that. If you want to be out in the field when a case comes through, I need your gun." He reasoned, Amelia was still looking at him as if he was crazy.

Did he think she was going to start shooting like a crazed lady?

With the shake of her head (and her hands) she handed the gun over to him.

"Is that all, Sir?" Amelia asked. She tried to be annoyed that the Unit Chief had taken her gun but if she was in his shoes, she would've understood.

And really she couldn't be that annoyed. Not when he'd granted her wishes of not being sent home.

Maybe Aaron Hotchner was her new fairy Godmother.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
a whole chapter of the bau loving and worrying about amelia

i love them sm