"No Michael, it's okay, I'll be okay" I smiled at him through the pain I felt inside. "You should go see him. Please. Make sure he is alright." All I really needed was to be alone for a couple of minutes.

"But you are not alright, I can't leave you here like this" he protested.

"I will be, I promise." My head was full of visions of me sleeping forever. "Please, go."

Finally, he left. My plan was very easy, easier than anything. The boys moved to Luke's room how I supposed so I quietly got into my room. I knew I didn't have much time, I had to be fast. I didn't want them to stop me, that's all.

I found a sheet of paper, pen and my pills. I swallowed loudly as I was looking at the pillbox. But I knew this was the only way out of my suffering.

I sat on the cold bathroom floor and locked the doors, just to make sure they won't ruin it all. I took the pen with my shaking hand and started to write the last of the hundreds unfinished or finished but unread letters.

But now I was completely sure he's going to read it.

Dear Luke,
where to begin? I've got so much to tell you but I've got so little time. I could write a whole book only about your eyes. About that flame in them. About that deep ocean that made me drown everytime your eyes met mine. About the care and anxiety.
You are the perfection I couldn't cope with.
I am sorry I wasn't brave enough. I got these three little words that I've been dying to tell you for more than two years. I love you. And I love you so much that it hurts. You were the only person who could make me laugh through the pain I felt. You were like a little piece of paradise inside infinite, dry and severe desert. You taught me so many things and you don't even know about that! I felt alive but I was broken. And I was only coming down. The escape was getting so far, yet it disappeared. I got locked in my own prison. Forever.
Please, don't ever blame yourself. You are not the one who haven't found the guts to tell the loved person all the feelings. I just never wanted to lose you, Luke.
After all, you were the best thing that ever happened to me. Your smile felt like home. You've been running through my dreams every night I managed to fall asleep.
So I guess I'll go now. It's been a wild and crazy ride with all of you but mine is over. Thank you for everything and I mean literally everything. Luke, Calum and Michael, you were the best three people I could ever meet. Stick together and don't forget me.
Luke, I hope you'll find someone who will love you as much as I do. I am sorry. I couldn't stand it anymore.

Forever yours, Ashton x

I almost wasn't able to finish that letter. I was shaking and the tears were running down my face. Suddenly, I heard voices from my bedroom. There was no escape. It's now or never.

"Ashton! Ashton!" I heard them screaming. I slowly opened the pillbox and spilled out all the pills on my hand. I took a deep breath and then I put them in my mouth. I swallowed.

"ASHTON LET US IN!" Luke hysterically yelled. I felt my body was getting weaker with every second. I heard their voices from very big distance. I was slowly but surely dying.

Boom.

"Oh my god Ash!" I saw three blurry figures, they got closer to me. Michael immediately took the letter and the empty pillbox, Calum was asking 'why?' over and over again and Luke was crying his heart out. He held my hand and whispered: "Ash please, stay with me. Don't go. Don't leave me!"

He pressed his forehead to mine and his tears coalesced with mine.

"I love you, more than anything in this world. We'll meet again. Someday. Somewhere. Good night, Luke" I breathed out my last words. Then I definitely closed my eyes because I couldn't keep them open anymore.

The last thing I remember was Luke's soft lips pressed to mine. And then absolute silence.

THE END

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So guys, this fanfic is over:(( I may or may not write an epilogue:) I didn't want it to be long or something, it was my first story in English so I hope there were not many mistakes and I hope some of you liked it! Thank you for your votes and comments:)

Love ya xx