Thinkin'bout you
I've been in tears.
My heart's been gripped by fears
Others may have a different view
But I still want to be with you.
-Anon

Ikram's POV

"But are you ready to take that step? I know I've been telling you to get married but I won't force you into something you're not ready for. Ikram, go and pray isthikara (A prayer done when you want to make a decision). Your happiness is all that matters to me. And this is your decision to make. I'll go and talk to your father about it." Mama was saying after I told her everything. I was conflicted. I just wanted mama to tell me what to say but seems like she won't. She left the room probably going to speak to Baba.

After the conversation with Zahra yesterday, I couldn't get a decent sleep. I kept turning and tossing but sleep was not ready to take me. I lay awake on my bed,thinking of how my life made a drastic turn. I should be happy. This was what I wanted right? I liked him maybe not to the extent of love but I do feel something. But does that something I feel enough for me to take the big step. I sighed. I just couldn't get an answer.

I decided to take mama's advice and pray isthikara. I went over to the bathroom and performed my wudu. I spread my praying mat and prayed. On reaching my final sujood(prostration), I prayed fervently for Allah to guide me into making the right decision. I said my salaam and raised my hand to pray the Dua Istikhara.
The translation of the prayer is as follows :

'O Allah, I seek Your counsel by Your knowledge and by Your power I seek strength and I ask you from Your immense favour,for verily You are able while I am not and verily You know while I do not and You are the Knower of the unseen. O Allah,if you know this marriage to be good for me in relation to my religion,my life,and end,then decree and facilitate it for me, and bless me with it. And if You know this affair to be ill for me towards my religion, my life,and end,then remove me from it,and decree for me what is good wherever it be and make me satisfied with such.'

I concluded the Dua and I felt at peace with myself. Indeed the saying "verily it is in the remembrance of Allah that hearts do find rest" is hundred percent true. Not that I ever doubted it.

I went over to the living room and met Baba and Mama discussing. I said my salaam to them and sat close to mama's leg and lowered my head down.

"Ikram,your mum just finished informing me about the proposal we are about to receive. She also told me that you are not willing to accept Kabir."

"Yes Baba."

"So what do you think of this coming proposal. What's your decision?"

I already made up my mind but decided to play miss two goody.

"Baba,your decision is all that matters to me. If you think that this marriage is of khair to me,then so be it."

"No Ikram,this decision is yours alone. It's about your future. You're the one going to spend the rest of your life with him. So No I'm not making your decision."

"Okay, Baba. I'll accept the proposal. But Baba please let me at least finish my second year. We're already in the mid semester."

"Alhamdullilah. Ma sha Allah. That's not a problem my daughter. I'll talk to them when they arrive. May Allah bless your upcoming marriage."

I blushed. "Ameen Baba." I said quietly.

Mama was smiling at me. She was clearly pleased with my decision. If my parents are happy nothing else in the world matters.

☆☆☆

"Someone is all grown up. Har zata yi aure."(she's even getting married). Ya Ahmad has been teasing me since he heard the news. I mentally face palmed and ignored him.

"Amarya(new bride),talk to me na. Wait who's the guy sef. I need to have a very long talk with him."

I rolled my eyes. "Firstly,I'm not a bride. Secondly,it's Adnan,Zahra's brother." I replied blushing a little when I mentioned his name. Ya Ahmad caught me blushing and I mentally groaned. I'm doomed.

"Iyye,har da wani blushing."(she's even blushing)

I used both my hands to cover my face. He kept teasing me till Mama told him to leave me alone and go get himself a bride too. He started blushing and It was my turn to make his life miserable.

I went to our room to have a nice long siesta,but turns out luck wasn't on my side. Ikram and Najmin started their's.

"Iyye,ahn ahn,irin su ya Ikram. Har za a yi aure. Ahn ahn."(dunno how to translate it but basically,she's teasing Ikram.) Khadija started.

I used both my hands to cover my ear while they kept on blabbing. I completely zoned out and was thinking about how fate has its own ways. Here I am. Eighteen years old me. Already getting married. To my crush. Who wouldn't be happy and excited. Although I was happy,I still felt something deep inside. I couldn't explain it so I just decided to brush it off.

Khadija and Najmin were still blabbing when I stood and left them. I went to the kitchen to start preparing dinner. Time has passed without me even noticing.

Adnan's POV

Turns out as I had my plans,Zahra had her's too. I'm kinda grateful she brought it up because the person she had in mind was exactly the person I had in mind too. I had to play along with her so as not to bruise my ego. There's just something about the girl that intrigues me...

After the conversation with Abba. I felt a little relieved. I had been restless this past few weeks. They were hell for me. I just want all this to be over with. That reminds me, I need to call Waleed.

I dialled his number but it went straight to voice mail. That's odd. I tried five more times but still no response. I decided to leave a voicemail.

"Hey man what's up?You aren't one not to answer your phone. Call me as soon as you get this."

I dropped the phone and sighed. I hope he's okay. He might be a douche at times but he's one of the few human beings I really care about on this earth. Everyone else was just aimless matter occupying space for no definite reason. This life is fūcked up.

My thoughts drifted from worrying about Waleed to my so called future wife. I keep forgetting her name. Or maybe I don't, I just choose not to call the name. Why am I even thinking about her? She's just gonna be my housemate. Living with me in the same house that's all. I can't stand being too near to the other half of the generation namely women.

I wasn't always like this. But after she left. She took a piece of me with her. The compassion,the love,the kindness every fucking piece. And no matter how hard I try. I can't go back to being who I was a long time ago. I had no other ambition other than just taking over Abba's company,but those goddamn associates had to ruin my plans. Marriage was never in my agenda. Even though I knew it was inevitable. It came too soon. I wasn't ready for this big step. The responsibilities that comes with it and all. And now here I am,about to be trapped.

My phone buzzed bringing me out of my reverie. It was Waleed. About damn time he called.

"Where have you been?I've been trying to call you. Why wasn't ...."

I didn't complete my sentence because it wasn't Waleed that was on the phone.

"Hello Sir, please am I speaking to Adnan Muhammad Nur?" The female voice from the other end asked.

"Yes I'm the one. Who are you and what are you doing with Waleed's phone?" I asked impatiently with a tiny bit of dread in my voice.

"I'm sorry sir. Mr Waleed had an accident few hours ago and has been admitted to the National Hospital. We found your number in his frequently contacted list and will want you to report to the hospital immediately."

I couldn't speak. No it can't be Waleed. She's definitely mistaken. How did she get your number then? My subconscious whispered. No no. She must be mistaken. I can't lose another person. Not again. The memories wanted to resurface. I could feel myself hyperventilating. ...

"Sir are you on the line?"

I managed to slow my breathing and answered her.

"Yes..yes..I'll be..be..right there." I barely stuttered. No this isn't me I don't stutter.

This was no time to think. I grabbed my car keys from the side desk and went out in a hurry praying he was alright. Praying that nothing happens to him. I can't lose another person close to me. This will break me. I haven't even healed from the first loss,still barely gathering my pieces. No he's going to be fine. I have to be positive.

I bumped into my mum and muttered a quick sorry before dashing outside but her voice stopped me.

"Adnan where are you going to by this time? And in such a hurry. Is everything alright?"

"Umma Waleed had an accident. He's in the hospital. Umma I need to go."

"Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un."(To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return). I heard Umma mutter.

"Drive safe Adnan. Does his family know?We'll be right there with your father in sha Allah. Which hospital?"

"No I don't think they know. I'll let them know when I get to the hospital. National Hospital Umma." I said hurriedly without waiting for her reply.

I got into my car and zoomed off. All through the car ride I kept praying for him. Finally after what seemed like forever. I arrived at the hospital and went straight to the hospital. I'm sure I looked like a maniac. I went to the reception and asked the nurse for direction whilst catching my breath. She directed me and I ran to the ICU. Ya Allah. The ICU.

I went straight inside and saw a female doctor. Guessing she was the one who called me. I dashed over to her asking multiple questions at once.

"Sir please calm down. He got involved in a very ghastly accident." My breath hitched at that moment. "He has a very severe head injury but we've stabilized him at the moment." She continued. "But now all he needs are your prayers. He still hasn't woken up. We're hoping by tomorrow he'll wake up."

When she finished. I exhaled a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Are you his family?" She asked curiously.

"Yes. He's my friend and brother." I replied simply.

"But what about his family?" She asked.

"I'll inform them."

She nodded and left me by the door of his ward. From the tiny window. I could see how pale he looked. With different tubes attached to him. This isn't the Waleed I know.

I sighed and sat at the waiting area and called his Uncle. Waleed is an orphan. He lost both of his parents in a plane crash a long time ago. He stays with his Paternal uncle. He's an only child. Waleed was family to me. My family took him as their's. My mum loved him like her's and sometimes I get jealous of the attention he received when he visited.

Uncle Sadiq said he was on his way. I put my face in my palms and just sat there. Just then I heard footsteps. It was my parents and Zahra with Uncle Sadiq right behind them. They came all looking worried asking me questions and I told them all that the doctor told me. They all sighed in relief.

"Adnan go home and rest. We'll be here." Umma said.

"No Umma I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay right here till he wakes up."

Umma kept trying to convince me. When she got tired she let me be. It was getting really late so they decided to go home. I refused to go with them. I'd stay here with him because I know if I was in his position. He'd never leave my side. That's how strong out bond is. They saw no point in arguing with me because my mind was made up. They left promising to come in the morning.

I watched as they left and went to perform ablution to pray nawafil. I concluded my prayer after praying fervently for him. I still couldn't have the courage to go into his ward. Scared of memories resurfacing...

I made myself comfortable on the cold hospital chairs and drifted off to a long and restless sleep.

Hi guys! So today's paper was awesome. So I decided to update. Next paper is on Saturday and its a pretty hard one😩. Not looking forward to it.
Plsss don't give up on EICEAF. I swear the main twist will start. Just letting you guys be familiar with the character's characters 😂😂lame pick up. But sha pls vote and comment. It'll make me the happiest girl alive.

Love
Siyyamah 👑