I woke up in my hotel room, with no recollection of how I had gotten there the night before. I think Jason and Jessica must've brought he me here last night. I had to think about Jason and last evening. I had met this guy and now we were already friends, I couldn't believe it. I barely knew him and his friend group but they seemed nice.

Mostly Jason – he had listened to me and cared for me. Of course I hadn't told me that I had lived with Michael Jackson and that he had dumped me for Siedah Garret. I had to get used to that myself.

It was very difficult. When I met Jason and the others I thought they could distract me from my sadness and eventually I could live a normal life again. But then I read those headlines. Michael and Siedah were expecting a child. So shortly after they had become a couple they were already having a child!

I couldn't help but think, what if Michael used her as a surrogate mother. Because he wanted kids so badly and I wasn't doing him that favor quick enough. But was he really that impatient? I thought he had loved me?

As I stared down on the ground, a feeling of guilt overcame me. It was his Christmas wish! His deepest wish, was simply to have a child he could put all his love and care into. We had been an amazing couple, why did I not do him that favor? If he wanted kids, it wasn't my right to just destroy it without telling hi, right? I was so conflicted and had nobody to talk to that I broke down in tears. If it weren't for my stupid mistake of taking the pill, I could now be with Michael!

Then again...that didn't give Michael the right to just look for another woman to have kids with. On top of that, he had even expected to still be friends with me!

That day, Jason came over to visit me in my hotel room. I had called him and asked him to meet me, I simply needed some human contact and a good, light talk.

"Susan" He greeted me with some flowers at the door. I smiled at him – he was so nice to take time out of his day to look after me. I put the flowers in a little glass and sat on the couch.

"I'm so thankful I have someone, yesterday was very nice." I smiled at him.

"Yes, I'm glad I met you. I don't usually pick up crying girls in the park, but I guess I should've done that more" He took my hand. Then he bent over to me and his head came closer to mine. I pulled away.

"Jason, no, wait" I pushed him back. I shook my head, it felt so strange. I still felt like I belonged with Michael.

"What? You told me you had a nice evening with me. I loved the evening too" He smiled and lifted an eyebrow. I remembered how Michael used to do that. When Michael lifted his eyebrow it looked so sweet, and teasing. It was like a "come here baby"... last time Michael did that was when we were in bed together. I smiled at my thought.

"What are you smiling about?" Jason asked and it made me snap out of it, back into reality. And that hurt. Michael wasn't mine anymore. And what did Jason now suddenly want from me? He had just tried to kiss me!

"Jason...what was going on last night? I can't remember anything, I must've been too drunk. You...why did you come so close to me before?" I was scared what had happened during that time that I now didn't remember anymore.

And then Jason explained everything to me; how he had danced and how close I had held him to me. How I had said "but I love him..." over and over again before finally kissing Jason. And that we ended up kissing in the taxi before he and Jessica had brought me up into my hotel room.

"Jason...I'm sorry" I was shocked. I had never done anything like that before, I hadn't been drunk in my whole life!

"What are you sorry for? I like you and you like me. There's nothing wrong with that. You can trust me Susan. I won't break your heart again." He came closer to me.

"Go away Jason." I interrupted him and stood up. I covered my face with my hands. "Please Jason... please leave. I have a boyfriend. Actually, I am engaged."

It wasn't a lie. I was still engaged to Michael, the ring was still on my finger.

"Engaged?! Yesterday you told me you lost your big love! You really gotta figure this out. I'll meet you tomorrow. And by the way, I brought you something, since you seem to be a Michael Jackson fan by the way you reacted to that article yesterday, here" He tossed a newspaper on my bed.

"Oh please, don't talk about him" I shook my head.

"Ok ok, relax" Jason said and left the room. When he was gone, I sat on the bed and thought about what I had said. I had a boyfriend. Did Michael and me ever break up? If my theory was correct, that Siedah was just a surrogate mother then...could we still be together? But he would have a child from another woman! It would make me feel horrible to know that he had taken this measure just because he didn't want to wait for me to be ready.

But I still loved him. I realized that I couldn't be happy without him – as terrible as that was. We belonged.

I suddenly noticed the headlines of the newspaper, even if I hadn't planned on reading it.

Michael Jackson perhaps not the father of Siedah Garret's child! Singer Steve Lory joins the drama

My heart skipped a beat. I grabbed the paper and read the article.

Singer Steve Lory claims he might also be the father of Siedah Garrets son, saying he was in a realtionship with the background singer while she was on tour with Michael Jackson. The question is, who is the real father of Siedah Garrets child?

Following the news, superstar Michael Jackson collapsed in his home in Los Olivos, the doctors say he had a nervous breakdown due to stress and unknown personal issues. Our reporters saw Siedah Garret leaving the ranch shortly after, seemingly stressed due to the big drama around her pregnancy.

We will keep you updated, stay tuned for more wacko Jackson news!