I got back in the bed with Axel, still dripping, my hair still wet from the shower. Nothing had been resolved sitting under the stream of water, nothing had been fixed or made better. Caleb had watched me the whole time. Curious eyes just staring.

Axel rolled over and pulled me close. His warm from sleep skin soaked into mine. He felt safe and comforting. He felt like home and love and comfort. I softened into him, pressed in harder against him, felt him wrap tighter around me.

"I, I love you, Ben," I whispered. His whole body tensed as the words came out of my mouth.

"What?" It came out breathy, barely a noise.

I rolled over to look at him.

"I love you, Ben," I said with more conviction.

He stared at me. It had come out of nowhere, I hadn't had time to stop it, or think about it, but there it was. And it felt right, like this is what love was meant to be. Like this is what we were meant to be.

"Oh fuck, Annie." His eyes melted any coldness I had left, "I have waited so long to hear you say that.."

He held my face with both his hands, pushed his lips against mine. Joy spread through me, warmed every part of me. I felt complete and whole and okay.

"I love you so much, Annie," his voice was thick with emotion. I kissed him again, I couldn't let go, didn't care about breathing. I just wanted him. Just wanted him and everything he was.

He nibbled on my neck, his fingers running down my skin leaving trails of shivers. I felt my body give to his, felt him throbbing against me. Wanted to give everything I had to him. Strong arms drew under my arched back, his lips brushing against mine.

He moaned softly and took control of my body and I let him.

He tasted of smoke and liquor and home. He felt safe, muscled arms holding himself above me, smooth tattooed skin rippling with waves of pleasure. He eased himself into me, I moaned, pulled his face into mine. I couldn't let go, couldn't be apart from him.

We moved together. His body bracing for my shudders, mine accepting him in. Wanting more of him, needing more of him. Fingertips dragged across his back, felt the ridges of old scars, my body gave more to him.

Skin on skin, his weight felt right on top of me, his noises and sounds and sweat felt right. I wanted to kiss him forever. I wanted to feel him in me like this forever. Parts of me ignited under his touch, my skin felt like fire where his fingers traced.

I grabbed him in closer, felt like we were one. It was no longer me and him, it was us. His hand roamed, pinching and grasping, a wave of delight and pleasure rode over me, his thrusting slow then fast then slow.

He was mine.

I tasted him again, his lips sweet and full. I wanted more of him, I wanted all of him. Our bodies rolled together, the silk sheets gliding over our wet skin, the animalistic scent of sex radiated from our sweat.

I was his.

We came together. A shuddering wash of pleasure erasing pain and hurt and anger and loss. His body was heavy on mine, our hands intertwined, hearts beating fast against each other's chests.

He holds me until our breath returns, until we were cooling, until our sweat had dried. And then he pulls away and stands.

I stare at his naked body. Hours and days and moths would never be enough time for me to take him all in.

"I love you, Annie," he bends to kiss me again on the lips, lingers. "I love you so much."

Axel showers and dresses. I lay on the bed, wrapped in the sheets, wrapped in his love.

He kisses my forehead.

"I have to go sort a few things out," he squeezed my hand, "I'll bring back dinner."

"I love you, Ben, really I do."

"I know, Annie, I know."

He squeezed my hand again and left. I heard the door to the apartment open and shut and he was gone.

I should have kept him there. I shouldn't have let him go so easily. I should have begged for him to stay.

Instead, I spent the day in bed and watched old movies and TV reruns. I stayed in bed until it grew dark. I stayed in bed until it was late and Axel hadn't come home like he said he would. I called his phone, sent him texts, called his phone again, and poured myself a drink.

Caleb was watching me like he always was. Trying to ignore him only made it worse.

"Yes, okay, I care about him," I yelled at the quiet boy in the corner.

He said nothing.

"I'm fucking worried, okay?"

I poured another glass of whiskey, gulped it down. Where was he, why wasn't anyone responding? Why wasn't Axel home yet?

I picked at the scabs on my arms, no new ones. I was proud of myself for that. Even if it had only been a few days, Axel said he had been proud too. Even if that meant Caleb stayed, it meant I wasn't hurting myself.

I poured another glass, drank some water, sat down in the kitchen. Played with the glass, with the napkins on the bar, the scars on my skin. Anything to keep me distracted. Tried calling again, tried calling anyone again. Nothing.

Someone knocked on the door. Forceful, but quiet. My heart skipped a beat. Axel wouldn't need to knock.

I looked at him, still standing in the corner, still falling apart. He looked like I felt. I swallowed hard, left the glass on the counter, walked to the door and pulled it open.

Freak and Cole stood at the door.

"Axel's been shot."

The world stopped moving. I stopped breathing. Something broke, shattered.

"What?"

"Axel's been shot, he's not going to make it much longer," Coal looked at me.

I lost all strength. My body gave out. The words swirled in my head, a wailing sound echoed in the hall.

"No, no, he was fine this morning. No, no, he's fine, he's gotta be fine," words streamed from me. I felt hands grab under my arms and pull hard. More wailing, more pained animal noises.

"We have to get back now," more forceful, "Not much time."

The door was slammed shut. They guided me out to a car, sat me in the back seat. The car moved, the world moved. I was still.

Axel. I had said I love you. He couldn't be hurt. He couldn't be hurt. I had said I love you.

Air was heavy, I couldn't breathe, couldn't move. The world felt heavier and heavier. Darker. The moon was out, barely visible above the haze of lights. I picked at a scab.

"No, no, he's got to be fine. He's fine, he's fine," I murmured to myself, my tongue numb and unfamiliar.

Nothing moved. Everything was still and silent and fragile. If someone breathed too hard it would all shatter. Freak opened the door for me. Looked at me sadly, patted my arm. I choked back a sob. Followed them inside, followed them to his office. Couldn't go in. Couldn't force myself to go in.

"I can't, I can't do it."

"You have to, he needs you," Cole said gently and opened the door, pushed me in.

"No," I whispered softly.

They had him on the floor, on a blanket. On the floor. Couldn't even put him on one of the couches.

My knees hit carpet.

Axel.

His eyes were too cold. Pale, blood dripped from his mouth. The world was shaking, I was shaking, Axel was still.

His hand was in mine, I squeezed. He didn't. I took a hard breath, he struggled, more blood. So much blood.

"Help him, please, why is no one helping? Fuck, someone help him."

Why wasn't anyone stopping it? Why wasn't anyone helping? I couldn't breathe, the world wasn't moving, I wasn't moving. Axel wasn't moving.

"Annie," his voice broke, thick, gurgling, "It's okay."

He struggled to look at me, struggled to keep his hand in mine. I couldn't breathe.

Axel moaned, a shiver ran over his body. My hand squeezed tighter around his. His hand was cold, pale, limp.

"No, no it's not okay," I was crying, heavy ugly sobs, "Someone please help him, please."

No one said a word.

"No, Ben, no. Don't, you're going to be okay, it's going to be okay."

More blood dripped onto the blanket, his shirt stained and ripped and ruined. His life bleeding through.

"Annie," Axel moaned again, choked on blood, "It's okay."

"Ben," I whispered, "We can't do this without you, Fallen can't, I can't."

His breathing was wet and heavy, more blood dripped off his lips. He felt cold.

"You can, Fallen can," he struggled for words, choking through a heavy liquid that wasn't supposed to be there. "It's yours, they're yours."

"What? No. Fallen is yours," I gripped his hand tighter, "You have to stay, you can't go."

I struggled for breath as he did, struggled for words as he did. Mine would come back, his never would.

"It's yours," he moved his fingers, more blood. More pain. He coughed, more blood.

"It's your turn, you're," he choked; blood wet his chin, his lips. Lips that had been pressed to mine hours before. "You're the Ace now."

"You can't do this to me," I begged, felt tears fall down my cheeks, "I can't run Fallen, I can't be alone."

He tried to squeeze my hand, there was no strength left. It continued to pour out through his chest, through his mouth. Axel closed his eyes again, took a shuddering breath.

"You can," weakly, barely there.

I didn't want to watch him die, I didn't want this to be my last memory of him, but I couldn't leave him alone. I wouldn't let him be alone. Held his bloody hand to my cheek, kissed his forehead, his lips, tasted his blood.

"I love you, Ben, I will always love you."

His heart was weak, struggling to beat again and again. Felt his lungs heave another breath of air, heard blood pour into them. My fingers clutched at his shirt, my nails bit into his hand.

"I can't do this without you," I begged, "I need you."

"You," He struggled with each word, a choking breath between each sound, "can."

Axel took a shallow struggling inhale, exhaled pain and exhaustion.

"I," he gasped for air, "love you."

"I love you so much," I sobbed, the words hurt, "I love you, I love you."

"I love you, Ace."

Axel choked on air, on blood. Opened his eyes. Scared, but knew he couldn't stop it. He didn't want to die, but knew it was coming. He grasped at my hand, his eyes falling blankly on me. He wasn't seeing me. He wasn't seeing anything.

Then darkness slowly took over. Stole every breath he had, stole every piece of life and as it went it burned and seared. Raked skin, clawed at lungs and mind and body.

One last choking, rasping wet breath was sucked into his drowning lungs. And it was quiet. No breath of air came out. No more sounds, no more Axel. His blood cooled.

I didn't move. Couldn't move. Felt his body grow cold around me. Felt them try to move me. But I stayed. I couldn't leave.

His dying breath had given me his title.