The room was a prison. Instead of bars, it was walls. Instead of handcuffs, I had two casts.

"Get out of the fucking room."

"I brought food," he stammered nearly dropping the plate he had in his hands. A new recruit stuck feeding the injured dog.

"I don't give a shit," I snarled shooting a daggered glare in his direction. He stared at my face,"Keep fucking staring, I dare you."

"I'll just leave this here," he dropped the plate on a table and backed away. I wanted to strangle the kid; but could barely get out of bed.

"Get out the fuck out."

He nodded and fled the room. Everything ached. My thoughts matched the pain.

The wound on my cheek was raw. Every time I moved my jaw it sent a wave of searing pain. It wasn't healing like it was supposed to. The right side of my head was swollen. My broken ankle ached. My broken wrist ached. Everything else was a dull throb of pain.

"Fuck me." I was trapped in my own body, inside a small room. If I was going to be miserable then everyone else was going to be miserable with me.

"Twitch," someone threatened from outside the room, "Shut up."

"Make me."

The guy stepped into the room, his face in an angry scowl, "Maybe we should just ship your ass home, so you stop using up our food and space."

Drake. He was old as far as members went, but loyal. A snake wove over his baldhead, the tongue sticking out above his left eye. Like a third eyebrow. Drake thought he was close to Axel, but Axel just used him. Like Dog, Drake was Axel's loyal servant. We all were.

I glared at him. He wasn't worth speaking. His words forced thoughts in. What if I did get sent home? Mother was probably strung out unless she had found another way to get her fix. She'd probably yell at me for being an idiot, slap me for not getting her high and then ignore me. Not sure what her boyfriends would do.

"It does make me wonder what your mother is up to?" Drake grinned. Chipped teeth stained yellow showed behind his lips, "Or what she'd do when we finally dragged you home?"

"Like I give a shit what she's doing."

"The fun thing is you'll get to find out pretty quick."

"What?"

"Yeah," he said causally, "Axel wants you out, you ain't getting better fast enough."

I stared at him. As much as I wanted to leave, there was no way I'd be able to get out on my own.

"Course we'll haul your ass outta here," he added filling in for my silence, "Not saying it'll be any limo ride, but entertaining for sure."

Of course. Axel wanted me gone. Made sense that everyone else felt the same.

"Fine. When the fuck do I leave?"

Drake smiled.

Everything was throbbing again. My arm and leg were grumbling their complaints, the cut on my face was yelling, demanding attention. I scowled, but it only made the pain worse. The stitches ached to be cut loose. Bit my tongue against the heat of the wound. Freak and Coal pushed their way in.

They were grinning. Probably not a good sign.

"Freak and Coal have kindly agreed to offer their services to get you out," Drake left.

Coal spat out a laugh, his large lips parting in a grin then took a step towards me. Freak did the same.

They grabbed my arms and hauled me off the bed. I tried to be silent, gritted my teeth, gnawed on my tongue, but when my legs hit the floor a groan of pain escaped. Their hands clenched my arms tighter, more dragging than lifting. We reached the stairs and I half expected to be thrown down them.

We made it outside. I had to blink back tears as they thrust me onto the snow-covered street. They stood back and laughed when I struggled for balance on my one good leg. I managed to stay standing, but shivered in the cold and felt myself swaying. Breath hung in thick clouds, cold sweat beaded on my neck. My bare toes curled around the edge of the cast trying to keep what warmth they could.

A familiar frame thumped out the building.

Axel.

"Looking good, there."

I hadn't seen him in weeks.

"That a new look you're trying out?" he asked, "Not sure the whole scar-face thing is working for you."

"Would you like one too?" I had to work to keep my teeth from chattering.

"Not sure it fits my style," he sighed, "You know why you're leaving?

I said nothing.

"You ruined my fucking car, and got yourself on the news. And not in a good way." He stepped closer and lowered his voice, "Plus you got the other driver killed, and I had to pay way too much to keep you alive. Not sure it was worth it."

"I feel so special."

He dropped his voice again so only I could hear him.

"I can't see you hurt like this, Annie. I thought I was strong enough, but I can't work with you around like this," he sounded like the Axel I had known, "You're safer away from us, safer away from the Fallen, from me."

"No, I'm not. Please. I'm safest here."

"It's for the best," he looked into me, I felt a connection we once had, "I need you safe. And here, you can't be."

"Please don't, you can't. I don't have anything else. Please." I was embarrassingly close to begging.

Axel backed away. And for a second I saw the kid I used to know, the boy who had been my neighbor. Then it was gone, the connection severed. The murderous leader took his place.

"I want you gone," he said slowly and loudly, "You're a burden. You've cost me too much already."

I sucked in a mouthful of cold air, maybe it would clear my head, and maybe it would clear the nightmare I was living. It didn't.

"It's better this way," Axel nodded to Freak, "Once you get in that car, I never want to see you again.

Freak grabbed my arm and pulled me into a parked Toyota.

"If you ever set foot in Fallen, you will die." Axel trailed a finger over the scar on my face, pulled one of the stitches and laughed. Pain. Laughter. Freak gripped my arm tighter.

He tossed me into the back seat. I was the garbage they had to get rid of. He slammed the door closed. Left.

The hard cushion caught my fall. My cheek was knocked into the seat stitches catching on rough fabric, pulling, stretching new skin. Broke it. Blood came slowly. I looked up at Axel through dirty glass. He stared back, sadness in his eyes, disappointment maybe, I couldn't tell. He turned and walked back. A shiver tore through me, my stomach twisted in pain. I couldn't tell if it was hunger or something else.

Freak climbed in and started the engine. He shifted into gear and drove away. I twisted in the seat even though I told myself I wouldn't look back and watched my real home get further and further away.

The ride to the apartment was long and cold. Freak kept both hands on the wheel, kept glancing at me in the mirror. I'd stare back at him until he was forced to look back to the road. Every bump in the car hurt. It was cold, I shivered, Freak kept the heat off.

We pulled up in front of my building. Not home.

Freak kept the car running, got out, yanked my door open and pulled me out. Left me on the curb and hopped back in the car. Then he was gone. I stood in the cold, watching the car drive away. That was it. I was out. The Fallen was no longer my home. Just like that.

Half crawling, half dragging myself, I stumbled to the entrance, pried stiff fingers open and pulled the door. The small burst of warm air was a smack to the face.

You pathetic loser. Running back to Mommy.

Somehow I got myself to the apartment. Exhausted with the effort. Sweat dripped into the stitches on my cheek, I was hot and cold at the same time. Leaned against the doorframe for support, tried to pull it open. Nothing. Locked.

I pounded on the door. Nothing happened. Pounded again. Hoped someone was home.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." She yelled on the other side mumbling curses. She ripped open the door, her drunken eyes taking a moment to focus. "Holy fuck."

"Yeah."

"You're still alive?"

Home, sweet home.

"I know, disappointing." I just wanted to sleep.

"Jesus Christ, what the fuck happened to your face?" She leaned in closer inspecting the wound, retreating in disgust.

"It happened in the accident, okay. Just let me in."

She pursued her lips thinking about it and stepped aside. I struggled past her.

"Saw that in the news, killed some rich kid's dad, figured you had died too. Bit disappointed you didn't. Thought about renting your room out."

I didn't say anything, focused on making it to my room. The fridge opened, familiar sound of beer opening. Glad she cared so much.

Everything hurt. I couldn't tell the pains apart. Fell onto the lumpy mattress. The room was just as I had left it, nothing where it should have been, everything where it didn't belong. Small and beige, it hadn't changed since my mother had moved us here. I had been two.