Movie Trailer

Un-Death Of A Zombie Salesman

OVER BLACK:

TRAILER VOICE ACTOR: (V.O.) Everyone knows Death of A Salesman...

WILLY LOMAN: (V.O.) I'm the New England man. I'm vital in New England.

TRAILER VOICE ACTOR: Arthur Miller's unforgettable award-winning tale of dashed hopes and shattered dreams.

WILLY LOMAN: (V.O.) I am not a dime a dozen! I am Willy Loman!

TRAILER VOICE ACTOR: (V.O.) Estranged from his family, disillusioned with the world, angry with himself, he leaves his family behind and commits suicide.

WILLY LOMAN: (V.O.) You end up worth more dead than alive.

FADE IN:

We see the devastated Loman family standing around Willy's gravesite.

LINDA: I made the last payment today, dear. And there'll be nobody home.

The family turns their back on the grave and walks away sadly.

TRAILER VOICE ACTOR: (V.O.) But what if I told you... that was just the beginning of the story!

MUSIC STARTS HERE

https://youtu.be/_bpS-cOBK6Q

The family hears a scraping sound, rock on rock. They turn back to see Willy climbing out of his grave!

WILLY: Rrrrr!

BIFF: It's Dad! And he's a zombie!

HAPPY: I am not happy about this!

LINDA: Run!

LOMAN FAMILY: (screams)

They run.

CUT TO:

INT. LOMAN HOME

Panting, Linda, Biff and Happy run into the house and shut the door.

INT./EXT. LOMAN FRONT DOOR

Willy is standing at the door looking friendly (by zombie standards, anyway). The welcome mat reads: Free and Clear! Willy bangs on the door, again and again and again.

BIFF: You can't come in!

The banging continues.

HAPPY: Why won't he leave us alone?

LINDA: He's a salesman. He doesn't take no for an answer!

Linda opens the door.

LINDA: OK, if you want to stay with us, you have to follow my rules. That means no parties...

CUT TO:

A house party full of revelers. Happy and Biff help Willy do a keg stand. The partygoers cheer him on.

CUT BACK TO FRONT DOOR

LINDA: no sleeping in my bed...

CUT TO:

It's night and Willy feels romantic and snuggles up to Linda. Linda startles.

LINDA: Oooh! Your willy is ice cold, Willy.

Willy looks ashamed.

LINDA: No, I like it! Give me your big Rocket Pop, Willy!

They fall into an embrace.

CUT BACK TO FRONT DOOR

LINDA: ...and most important: Don't eat the cat. Understand?

Willy: Rrrrr.

LINDA: Good. Say, where is little Diamond, anyway?

Willy shrugs innocently, then burps up a cat collar. Whoops! Linda puts her hands on her hips and shakes her head, disapproving.

TRAILER VOICE ACTOR: (V.O.) From the The Miracle Jerker and the and the Director of Artificial Sugar Tits comes this hilarious and heartwarming story about second chances that critics have called:

"Even funnier than the original!" — New York Times

"The Citizen Kane of Death of the Salesman zombie movies remakes, but with a twist!" — Word Salad Weekly

"FFS! Does Hollywood have to ruin everything?" — The Daily Grumbler

"Rrrrr!"— Modern Zombie

CUT TO:

The family sings a version of Happy Birthday to Willy, only this version is Happy Reanimation Day. Biff puts a cake with lit candles in front of Willy. Willy freaks out. The cake goes flying.

BIFF: My bad.

FADE TO BLACK