CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
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i. to be so lonely !

storybrooke maine .

— AS WINNE RE-ENTERED HER SON'S HOSPITAL ROOM, there was a standoffish feel between her children and the newest addition to their messy little family.

Stepping a little further within the argumentative atmosphere, she placed a supportive hand on Mr Gold's shoulder, practically feeling the sadness and loneliness rolling off him in waves.

"You can't be serious." Denahi uttered, glaring over at Kenai and Koda.

"Denahi, please-" Kenai tried weakly, his voice breaking under the weight of his emotions before being interrupted by Winnie herself.

"What's going on here?" She uttered softly, reaching to place her unoccupied hand at Denahi's back.

"They want to change back!" Denahi exclaimed in utter disbelief, gesturing to his brothers, "They want me to forgive the Dark One for what he did!"

Winnie tilted her head, her eyebrows furrowing slightly in her confusion as she slightly tightened her grip on Rumplestiltskin's shoulder as a small act of quiet solidarity.

Strangely, Denahi's situation felt familiar. Winnie could recall countless times she had felt a similar anger towards the man with such a desperate desire for self preservation. She could hardly blame Denahi for being unable to ignore that screaming, mind-splitting voice of unbridled rage.

"We only want you to let go of your anger, Denahi..." Kenai whispered quietly, rubbing at Koda's shoulder with an understanding look, "We forgave Rumplestiltskin a long time ago. It's time you did the same."

Mr Gold shook his head immediately, shrugging Winnie's hand off his shoulder as he leaned forward, "He doesn't have to forgive me- and you shouldn't either. What I did was cruel-"

"You were hurting." Koda muttered, glancing up at his older brother, "We know what that's like."

"You may not have meant to, but you gave us a family. The only mother we've ever known, and the best little brothers one could ask for," Kenai chuckled as he teasingly scratched at Pooh's fluffy little head, "Once we got over the heartache, we realized that you coincidentally gave us a second chance at life... and we grew grateful for it."

Denahi was defiant, his jaw tightening in his seething indignation, "And you want to change back into those things?"

"Denahi, we've never felt more like ourselves than when we were bears... it's impossible to explain, but we just know... that's how we belong." Kenai explained quietly.

The man's fist tightened as he shifted his glare to meet Winnie's curious gaze, his eyes inexplicably glossing over with unshed tears before he rushed out the hospital room door.

Winnie sighed, offering an apologetic look to her children who now looked so disheartened, choosing to trail after the angry and confused man.

She closed the door behind her gently, stepping into a hallway of bustling nurses and spotting Denahi a few paces away.

"Denahi?" Winnie asked carefully as she approached, pushing her gold-framed glasses further up her nose.

Shaking his head, Denahi pressed his fingers to the space between his eyes, "I feel like I'm going to cry." He warned simply, exasperated with himself.

Winnie nodded with a sad, yet kind smile, as she patted the man's shoulder in a small act of assurance, "That's alright... do you need some time to yourself?"

"No," Denahi sighed, blinking rapidly so as to will the tears away, "No, I'm fine."

Winnie pressed her lips together and tilted her head, her watchful gaze trailing over the man's face in quiet observance, "No, you aren't."

Sighing shakily, Denahi shook his head in agreement, taking a few moments to breathe deeply and feel grounded to Winnie's comforting hand as it fell to his bicep, her thumb running along the material of his coat in a distractingly comforting manner.

"Kenai and Koda told me that you're a very... kind and understanding sort of person." The man uttered, letting some of the tension slip from his shoulders, "I want to hear what you think about all this."

Winnie smiled- the kind of smile that she reserved for these moments of emotional vulnerability. A dazzling grin that made Denahi want to smile too, even when wallowing within his infinite feelings of discontent.

"People tend to think," She began quietly, "well, they presume, that I'm rather naive for having such a trusting nature and... I understand, Denahi. I know it's difficult to show forgiveness to a man that struck you with such unforgiving grief... but I'd like to tell you what my father once taught me."

Denahi picked his gaze up off the floor and looked at the kind woman before him, a woman that had such love stitched into her very being- as if the rosiness of her cheeks were the pink of spring flowers that somehow bloomed all year, and that brilliant sparkle in her eyes was really a star plucked from the cosmos itself.

She felt oddly safe. Denahi had barely known Winnie for more than a day, yet he knew he could wholeheartedly trust her to help him to find the right answer- the way he used to find that same guidance and warmth in his older brother.

"Kindness is not the absence of anger," Winnie said, reaching to hold Denahi's hand in her own, soothing his tightened knuckles, "But rather continuing to be kind in spite of it... and if you meet all the world with a closed, hardened fist- you'll never be able to hold another's hand..."

She gently pried his fingertips away from his palm, instantly relieving the pain his nails had unknowably been causing, her thumb pressing slightly against the deep crescent shapes he'd inflicted upon himself.

"What a terribly miserable existence that must be- to be so endlessly lonely..." Winnie uttered. "I believe you deserve far more than that..."

Both of them were entirely unaware of the way Winnie's voice carried, falling upon another's ears as he lay cuffed to his hospital bed, staring down at his clenched fist and allowing the stillness of the room to seep into his very bones- shaking him to his core.

"Don't allow yourself to become a bitter and hateful man, Denahi. That's a painful sort of life to lead." With that, Winnie closed Denahi's hand again- though it was now void of its previous tension- and stepped away. A silent message that whatever he chose, the decision was entirely his own.

Winnie left Denahi to his thoughts, choosing to instead return to Kenai's hospital room- though she was pleased to see Denahi trail after her out of the corner of her eye, his hand flexing as he pulled himself deeper into his own thoughts, mulling over what was said.

She was even further delighted when Denahi shuffled further into the room and held his hand out to the Dark One. A quiet offering of peace.

Mr Gold looked at the man's hand with poorly disguised relief as he reached forth and grabbed it in his own, shaking it firmly as if to solidify that unspoken promise of forgiveness.

storybrooke maine .

— RUMPLESTILTSKIN AGREED TO HEAL KENAI, and proposed to change the boys back to their former selves whenever they were ready- which prompted Winnie and her children to excitedly gather together and pile out of the hospital room.

"What do you suppose the price will be this time, Rumple?" Winnie asked curiously as he shut the door behind the group, watching the boys walk ahead of them.

Mr Gold shook his head slightly, leaning on his cane as he walked next to her, "Winnifred, dear, we've paid quite enough... don't you think?"

Winnie pressed her lips together for a moment before allowing a small, sad smile to grace her face as she linked her arm around his, "We have, indeed."

He nodded simply, patting her hand and burying the brief twinkle of contentment behind a gruff clearing of his throat.

"Mama!" Christopher suddenly fell behind his brothers and tugged on his mother's sleeve, causing her to lean down somewhat in order to hear him properly.

"What is it, dear?" She asked kindly, softly patting Christopher's back as he pointed at the window of a particular hospital room as they were about to pass.

"It's Mr Hook!" He exclaimed.

When Winnie glanced in through the glass, she saw the face of the man she had earlier met, now sleeping as if having melted into his bedsheets, his body kindly expelling the tension and pain in order to allow him this small moment of tranquility.

He looked peaceful.

"Mr Hook?" Winnie asked curiously, sparing a look to Rumplestiltskin, who's arm had tightened around hers ever so slightly.

Yet, when her gaze fell upon the Dark One- that quiet, understanding glint in her eye seemed to burn away all his bad intentions. There had been more than enough revenge seized tonight- Rumplestiltskin knew that.

Christopher hummed, "He helped us get back from the Enchanted Forest! Can we say hello?"

Winnie chuckled with a gentle shake of her head, "Tomorrow, perhaps. For now, let's just let him rest, love..."

As they approached the exit, Winnie happened to have her eyes land on another familiar face- one that caused her to grin brightly and momentarily break apart from the group.

She'd heard from Emma and the vast gossipers among the town that Archie Hopper was found alive and well- that his death must have been mysteriously faked.

How wonderful it was, to see the man for herself, sitting contently in an uncomfortable plastic chair with a newspaper in his hands.

"Doctor!" Winnie wrapped her arms around the man's shoulders from behind when she neared, startling him slightly, though he quickly relaxed in the warm atmosphere that Winnie provided.

"Winnifred!" Archie returned with a light chuckle, patting her arms gently in the best return of the hug he could possibly offer.

Winnie sighed sadly, pulling away and stepping about to face him, "Goodness, dear, you had us all rather heartbroken."

Without another word, Winnie carefully placed her hands on the sides of Archie's head, bringing herself to leave a brief kiss on the man's forehead- the way a mother would a child.

"Sorry, love," She hummed teasingly, "I couldn't help myself."

Archie shook his head with that kind look he was always known for, and a knowing smile reserved specifically for Winnie, "Nonsense, it's nothing I haven't come to expect from you."

A nurse called Archie's name for his medical appointment and he reluctantly stood, continuing to address Winnie, "I'll come by the bakery some time this week, I promise."

"I'll hold you to that." She teased as she fell back to join her children, and Rumplestiltskin, who had patiently waited for her.

Returning her hold on Mr Gold's arm, they continued on out the doors of the hospital and pooled into the parking lot, the cool, late night breeze a welcome change from the stuffy hospital climate.

"Is this- truly what you want?" Rumplestiltskin asked hesitantly as Kenai and Koda came to stand before him. "I can't guarantee that I'd be able to reverse it again."

Kenai and Koda shared a knowing glance and a firm nod, before allowing their eyes to fall upon Denahi, who had a conflicted look twisting into his features.

Denahi met their curious gaze, and smiled with ease.

"They did look better as bears." He teased softly, though the slight quirk of his lips fell as he furrowed his eyebrows, "But- before this- happens... I wanted to give you something."

Denahi unraveled his bracelet, pulling the strings apart and revealing three separate necklaces with small wooden carvings attached to them.

"My totem!" Kenai exclaimed, reached forward and wrapped his fingers around the bear carving, pulling the necklace into his own grip. "You kept them?"

"Of course I did, loverboy." He chuckled, gesturing to the symbol of love in his brother's palm. "I kept Sitka's too..."

A sullen silence fell over them as Denahi pulled the wolf of wisdom's totem over his head, before looking down at the final carving, an eagle, with a sad glare in his eyes.

"I thought maybe Koda could have it." Denahi uttered, causing the boy to look up in awed surprise. "You were too young to get your own before we were separated- and I think Sitka's totem suits you... Whaddya say?"

"I think it's a great idea." Kenai grinned, wrapping an arm around Koda's shoulders and ruffling up his hair to lift the boy's spirits.

Koda nodded quietly, gulping nervously and allowing Denahi to bring the necklace over the boy's head, letting the eagle of guidance rest against his chest.

Christopher leaned down to pick up Pooh and tucked himself under his mother's unoccupied arm, a curious nature to the way he scrunched up his face, "What about Pooh?"

"I didn't inflict his curse, dearie." Rumplestiltskin muttered, patting Pooh's fluffy little head carefully, "I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for him."

Pooh huffed in a dissatisfied fashion, his ears flicking slightly in his discontent.

"We'll find a solution for you as soon as possible, love." Winnie smiled reassuringly in response to the pup's indignant complaints.

"Are you both ready?" Mr Gold asked, returning the focus to Kenai and Koda.

The boys grabbed one another's hand, a confident smirk tugging at their lips as they made their final decision.

"One more time?" Koda asked smoothly, tightening his grip in exhilaration.

"One more time." Kenai confirmed.

author's note

hello my loves omg this is another chapter is brought to you by the tireless Thankmas fundraising efforts, we're now at $207.00 can you believe it 🥺

I promise I am workin' hard to bring more goals and more chapters- in fact I've already got a jump on chapt 39 with some confirmed Killian content btw 😏

Also for those of you that were interested but not notified, there's now an ELT and a winnie playlist at the beginning of the story with Spotify links included! lemme know what you think of them (:

aNYWAY let me know what you thought of the chapter- can you believe ELT is now officially my longest running fanfic? that's wild omg- AND KILLIAN AND WINNIE ONLY JUST MET AKSNDK IM SO SORRY

also ahhh let's chat i miss you guys, what have you been up to lately?

as always, ilysm, thank you so so much for reading and sticking with me,
I can't wait to chat with
you all again soon 💕💕