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♪ BTS - Let Me Know
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𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓴𝓳𝓲𝓷

"ғᴜᴄᴋ, ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ɢᴏ ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ!" I screamed at the bodyguards who were holding my arms left and right with much anger and annoyance.

When I managed to break free, without hesitation, I threw a few punches to them, though it didn't really hurt them that much, but at least they had let me go.

They looked at my mom, waiting for her orders regarding my rebellion state. My mom let out a deep sigh before she just waved them off, asking them to leave the situation to her. Just like robots, the bodyguards obeyed as they bowed courteously before they left the room, leaving only my mom and I as the eerie silence enveloped in between us.

"Do you really have to do that in front of my friends? And even insulted them? Putting all our efforts to achieve our very dreams is not foolish, mom. In fact, what you just did and what you're doing right now, is actually the true meaning of absurdity and immaturity." I told her, my voice shook as I was still trying to calm my nerve down.

"Now, you're even talking back to me." She muttered calmly as she let out a bitter smile, slightly shaking her head after witnessing my outbreak. "I guess it's from the influence of your so-called friends?"

"Stop blaming everything on them, mom." I sighed and put my hands on my waist before looking back at Lee Seohee, my one and only mother, also, a professional and much talented lawyer in Kim & Chang Law Firm. "They're like my brothers and sisters, so stop hurting them."

She set herself comfortable on the expensive leather sofa which I believed she bought it from China. "It's your choice, son. I thought I've reminded you that you can't make your own decision. So what made you think that it's alright to sign a contract with a lousy company?" 

I found myself rolling my eyes at this. I let out a steady breath before I faked a smile, saying, "So, it'd be okay if I sign contracts with big companies like YG, SM, or JYP entertainment?" I arched my brows, challenging her.

As a professional she was, she remained calm all the time, but I didn't expect to see a mocking smile drawn on her face. She crossed her legs and looked up at me, "Oh son, I know you better."

I frowned at her, couldn't understand what she truly meant. She chuckled when she saw my face contoured in confusion, so she continued, "I know that you're not talented enough to get accepted into those big companies. No offense."

I was left speechless at her words, that I found myself huffing out a few breaths in disbelief. "Mom, are you listening to yourself now?" I asked her with my voice raised.

"I'm not sorry for my bluntness, Seokjin ah. Because I really don't want you to ruin your own future, thinking that you can be a successful popstar." She spoke gently. Her eyes looked straight at me with the warmth of a mother, and I found myself softening at this.

"I think I'm old enough to make my own decision, mother." I said, and she snapped up to look at me, looking slightly hurt. After all, I always called her 'mother' when I was being serious or when we don't come to the same agreement.

"Then, I have no choice but to do my job as a mother." She emphasized, taking her Prada bag and slid it on her wrist. "I'll do whatever it takes to stop your foolish dream, Seokjin ah."

"Mom–"

"Goodnight. I love you, son." She whispered as she kissed my cheeks softly.

I couldn't say anything more because she quickly made her steps towards the stairs while holding her head in pain, and at that moment, I couldn't understand why my stomach plunged with such a hollow feeling.

Did I make everything hard for her?

✿   ✿   ✿

I let out a long sigh before settling myself on the windowsill at the end of the hallway in the University building. I couldn't stop myself from thinking. My mind became messier for every each second that passed, it's like a speeding train that kept passing the railway, and though it would stop, another will continue the journey.

After the argument with my mom yesterday, I tried to have a heart-to-heart talk with her on the night, but I only ended up peeking through her door, hearing all the words that kept stabbing me in the heart repeatedly.

***

- Flashback -

"Yeobo.. what should I do?"

I saw her holding weakly onto her glass of wine, sitting on the edge of the sofa as she stared at a picture frame, which I believed it was a picture of my deceased father.

"He wouldn't listen to me." She chuckled, though there was no sense of humor in it. "He's just like you.. Gentle.. Kind.. Caring.. yet, so stubborn." She sighed, and paused to take a sip of her wine.

"It's been five years, yeobo.. I tried my best to fix myself and my reputation from the bottom, and now.. I've reached the top. Sometimes, I couldn't bring myself to believe it, that even without you, I can survive through this heartless and cruel world. It's amazing, isn't it?" She laughed a little and laid her head on the armrest of the sofa.

I felt my chest tightened at the sight of her like this, I knew she'd been going through so much for the past few years, though she wouldn't show it and always kept it to herself. I must admit my mother was the strongest woman I have ever met alive.

"But.. I don't think I can continue with this if our Seokjin left me.. He's the only reason that I've the strength to fight, even until now.. Only if he realized how much he meant to me.. how much he meant to us." She started to sob as the glass dropped onto the thick Persian carpet.

I kept clenching and unclenching my fist. I wanted to approach her, but I hated myself that I don't have the courage to do so. So much for a fucking coward like me.

"Yeobo.. I lied to him. I told him that he doesn't have talents to live in the entertainment world, but he actually had the voice of an angel.. Just like how you always sing lullaby to put me into sleep, and to be honest, it was the moment that I'd always loved." She smiled while closing her eyes, probably imagining my father in front of her.

"I can't let him go, yeobo.. I need him.. I need our Seokjin so that he'll cure the sadness and the loneliness when I misses you." She cried again, this time even harder, and that was the moment when I couldn't hold my tears anymore.

"Why did you leave me, you jerk. I missed you so much.." She hugged the frame into her embrace. With tears staining her cheeks, slowly, she drifted to her deep slumber.

I finally entered her room. I stared at her beautiful face, and noticed some wrinkles formed in her eyes. It's been a while since I looked at her up-close. Still feeling guilty of making her into this state, I picked my mother up and gently put her onto her bed.

"I'm sorry mom. I love you." I kissed her forehead and fixed the comforter before I left the dark room.

The next morning, we sat across each other on the dining table, having our breakfast, each minding our own business while I pretended like I never heard anything last night. I looked up, and in front of me was not the weak and fragile Lee Seohee anymore, it was the elegant and classy noble lawyer, who was preparing for her fight for today.

"Give me some time, mom." I told her while sipping on my coffee. "I couldn't just leave the boys like that."

My mom blinked a few times, and slowly she nodded with a smile, "Okay. Is two weeks enough?"

I gave it a thought for a moment. "Sure." I decided, though I'm not sure if I'm actually confident with my answer.

- End of Flashback -

***

I ran my fingers through my blonde hair, making it messy in the process. How do I tell the boys that I won't be joining them for the debut, and there will be only six boys as Bangtan boys later?

I couldn't even imagine how their reactions were going to be like.. Probably there's going to be Namjoon's sad smile, Yoongi's cussing, Jimin's frown, Jungkook's teary eyes, Taehyung's scrunched brows, Hoseok's stunned face, and on top of it all.. Jinhee's disbelief expression.

I feel bad for Jinhee, because she had tried her best to finally get us into this path, but soon I'm going to ruin it. I hope they won't hold back from debuting just because of me.. I don't want to hinder the boys from moving forward because they have worked so hard to reach this far. I guess I have no choice but to break my promise with Namjoon — the one that said we'll debut together no matter what.

Two weeks... Will the time be enough to spend the last moment with them?

"How was the chick last night? Did you have fun?"

I heard a voice echoing from upstairs as I was still sitting on the windowsill. Laughters and teasing voices could be heard as another guy replied, "She felt so good, dude. I've never experienced something like that."

Satisfied by that very reply, their voices bombed the entire level with much excitement and thrill. I could hear their voices getting closer. I mentally rolled my eyes, annoyed and disappointed that those guys decided that it was okay to talk randomly in public about their sexual activities.

"Who's better? Suzy or that chick?"

Instantly, I froze in my spot upon hearing the name of the girl I loved, and the next second, I found myself boiling in anger. Now they're talking about Suzy?

"Of course that chick is better. Suzy is just so-so.. She's too innocent and she doesn't entice me that much." That same voice replied smugly. "That's why I had to dump her."

"Wow, you're such a bad p–"

By that time, they have already reached at my level, and we were now face-to-face. That guy saw me and he was surprised momentarily. Yeah, it's the bastard Lee Minho.

I didn't hold back. Well, I couldn't help it because I had a temper that's hard to control too, and for some reason, my inner beast decided that it was the perfect moment to make its appearance. I found myself quickly marched at him, right away grabbing his collar, at the same time, shocking his two friends who were with him a moment ago.

"What did you say, you fucking bastard?" I asked him, my voice came out low as I was challenging him to repeat his words. At first he was taken aback, but looking at my angry face, he only scoffed away, mocking a laugh.

"You heard me." He smirked evilly.

Before he could speak another word, immediately, I threw a punch straight to his face and he fell to the ground, taken off guard. Instead of staying to help him, his coward friends surprisingly left the scene, giving us a chance to have a proper showdown, for the second time, after the big brawl in the empty swimming pool.

"Aishh... Not my handsome face." He exaggeratedly groaned in pain and stood up, wiping his bleeding lips. I was expecting for a balled fist to come in contact with my face, but instead, he just came closer to me, eyeing me with much amusement.

"Why are you so angry?" He chuckled while shoving his hands in his pockets. He then made a face as if he knew the answer. "Ahh, is it because you're jealous?" He leaned even closer and whispered, "That you haven't seen her naked?"

I felt another wave of rage overtake me as I clenched my balled fist tight, prepare to give another blow to this bastard. I gripped on his collar again, but this time before I could throw a stronger punch, someone stepped in and slightly pushed me away to distance me from that bastard.

"Jin oppa, what're you doing?!"

I stopped my whole intention of hurting that bastard as I found myself staring back at her in surprise. My heartbeat rushed beyond me as I wasn't expecting for this, not her angry glare, and especially not the way that she would shield that bastard Minho from me in such situation.

"S-suzy-ah.."

Instead of meeting my eyes, she turned around to look at Minho as I was still muted, observing her whole movement. "Oppa, I'm sorry about this..." She apologized to Minho sympathetically.

Why would she apologize? She didn't do anything wrong... And I was sure as hell I didn't do anything wrong either.

"Geez, stop making my life more miserable, Suzy. I thought it would be over after we broke up, but then your crazy boyfriend suddenly attacked on me for no particular reason, it's damn annoying. Make sure to take care of your boyfriend properly." Minho spoke with full of ignorance, as if he was so innocent while Suzy just bowed her head apologetically.

While me? I'm getting more and more furious that I could have sworn I could kill that bastard ass punk in an instant.

When Minho quickly made his way out of the scene, I shouted and ran after him, "Where do you think you're going, you fucking bastard?!"

But then Suzy pulled me again, and with that, Minho managed to save his butt while giving me a smirk in victory.

"Why did you stop me?!" I asked out of anger as I pushed her hand away and caught my head in exasperation.

"Oppa, why are you like this? I know you.. and you're not the type to hurt people. Did he say something to you?" She was still calm as her eyes looking at me, asking for answers.

But I couldn't give her that answer, because suddenly I felt the pain tugged on my chest as I remembered how I was too speechless and overwhelmed by the idea that she just protected that bastard Minho from me.

"Why did you protect him?" I asked her, I couldn't think anymore as the words just stumbled out. She was taken aback from my inquiry, probably she didn't even realize by her own action. I saw her trying to say something, but nothing came out, and she ended up looking away.

I tried to wrap my head around her helpless expressions, only to feel my heart drop in realization. I looked at her, surprised by the fact that I just learned. "Do you.. still love him?"

Please say no, Suzy.. I don't have anyone now.. I only have you..

But when Suzy decided to honor my question with her painful silence, I couldn't take it anymore as I felt my inside exploded. I chuckled bitterly as I found her eyes looking at me with so much guilt.

That was her answer.

"You do love him, still." I declared the statement for her with a smirk. Then, I found myself laughing at how funny this situation was. For the whole five months we had been spending our time together... did she even love me at all?

"Oppa..." She called out worriedly when I was still laughing hysterically. I shook my head as I removed her hand from my arm and finally made up my mind.

"Let's break up then."

»»————　A/N　————««

I know you guys crave for TaeHee's moments, but let's focus on our Jin first, since it's all about him that mattered now. And this time not the Eomma Jin, but another side of Jin that you don't know exist in him.

Anyway, guess what? It's been a year since 'Every Little Secret' or before known as 'Stay With Me Once' made its debut! Omgggg, and that means it's been a year since I started writing.. Time sure flies so fast :')

Please sing a happy birthday song to my first baby book. Happy birthday ELS! Thanks for making me the author I am right now 🦋

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Much love,
ℓynie

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𝓣𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓮𝓻

"I love being with Bangtan boys. Why can't this be my future?"