When I peeled myself away from Marley, I found a corner in the lobby to don my shades, then completely and internally disintegrate. The weight of her situation settled onto me. The vulnerability of her potential departure from my life ripped away bandages from wounds I covered, but hadn't allowed to heal. I knew she spoke of eventually having children, and in less than a day, that possibility was taken from her. It wasn't fair, but at forty-six I was finally coming to the realization that life wasn't fair... at all.

Regardless of the effort put into it, the caution thrown to its wind, or the safety net we fell onto, life simply wasn't about being fair. I faced a window, hoping my muted sobs would seep through it, and I wept. I wept for her loss, and somehow reactivated the damage of my own, emotional destruction I thought I had curtailed because I had gathered the courage to pack it away into cardboard boxes, then toss into a closet as if its door was powerful enough to wipe my soul free of the mental devastation of Michael's death. I had attempted to move on, to open my heart to Quincy, to the possibility of reuniting with that part of Dana Castle that believed in not only giving love, but knowing how to receive it.

I had lied to myself and every one that I cared about. I pretended pain and joy were separate despite being housed in one entity. I acted as though they could cancel out one another, that my denial of one for the other would make me feel whole despite the void I carried within. I wanted to remain stagnant, yet  progress at the same time. And as usual, Marley was right. Life wasn't allowing me to stay stuck, to keep one foot planted on the emotional ground of pain while the other attempted to take root on a facade of joy.

Why would it? Life wasn't fair after all, forcing me to face my fear of losing someone else I loved, all while demanding I make a choice to either be controlled by dread's presence or allow it to guide me to a new place, with a new person and welcome love back into my life once again. With the veil of my own deception pulled back, I suddenly felt horrible, called out for being a coward for pretending I was okay when I wasn't, masking my trepidation by hurling my weaknesses towards someone who continued to only combat the unwarranted attacks with compassion.

No, life wasn't fair, but who was I to complain? I could fall in love again and again, but my best friend would never have children of her own. For her, that experience could never be replaced. Lying in her bed, her eyes had welled with tears as she reminded me that though she was filled with the sorrow of not one day bringing a new life into this world, she could love the life that the world would give her.

"I'm so sorry." I declared as my heart broke for her.

"Don't be." She urged. "I haven't lost my ability to be a mother, Dana. That path will now be different, but the journey is the same."

Life wasn't fair. It wasn't wrapped in a bow presenting itself the way we wanted it, the way we thought we needed it, the way we felt we deserved. I wasn't supposed to be without Michael. Marley wasn't supposed to be in a hospital bed, grieving something she wanted, but would never experience the way she desired. We had dreams, plans, goals, and life had a funny way of shitting on them. Now, isolated in a corner of a cold, stark waiting room, I wiped my face with my sleeves and wept, for Daniel, Marley, Michael, Quincy... and for me.

______________________________________

I knew his touch, smelled him before he startled me from my unrest as a human pretzel, dozing in a non-forgiving, vinyl chair.  The moment I opened my eyes, I smiled at Quincy and Anton, then frowned as Priya made herself comfortable in the seat next to me.

"Hey, how is she doing?"

Quincy's concern was genuine. I could see that, but I was too agitated to appreciate it. Why was Priya there?

"She's okay." I managed to mutter as I stretched weary muscles and turned my back to a bane of my existence. "What are you doing here?"

"Daniel called. He was a nervous wreck. I got here as fast as I could."

"Oh, well, that was hours ago. Thanks for stopping by."

"Are you okay?"

I sighed as my eyes rolled over my shoulder, then back towards Quincy. "I'm not the one in a hospital bed. I'm fine."

"Ms. Houser needs a ride so Anton is going to take her home. I'll stay with you until he gets back."

And Priya?

"Priya, are you hanging out with us or heading out with Anton?"

Why was her staying even an option?

"We've had a long day. I'll go with Anton and have him take me back to your place. We'll reconvene after we've all had some rest."

"Great." He replied with a smile.

Quincy stood and gave her a goodbye hug. I wanted to give her a kick in the ass with my pin pricking foot. The moment they were out of earshot, I interrogated him. "Why the hell would you bring Priya here?"

"I told you she and I were meeting up. We were still together when Daniel called. Besides, she likes Marley, and wanted to find out if she was okay."

"Whatever, Quincy. I'm too tired to deal with that shit."

"What shit, Dana?"

"You and Priya shit. Lesbian or not, I'm not a fan of her being under you all the damn time."

"You do realize that you don't have any say so with whom I conduct business."

"Just business, huh."

"Strictly." He responded with an air of arrogance. I was too cranky to let slide.

"What business does she have with you all damn day."

"Relevant business."

"Well, take your "relevant" business and leave. It, nor Priya have nothing to do with Marley and me."

"You sure about that?"

"A thousand percent."

I shifted my body away from Quincy, and waited for him to get the hint that his presence was no longer welcomed. Instead, he gently pulled me into his chest, then kissed my temple. "I love you, Dana."

"I ended us this morning, Quincy."

"I know you better than that."

"Then you would know not to bring Priya around me."

"Noted."

"And you would know that I'm not a fan of secrets."

"The dirt road."

"Yes, Quincy. I'm talking about your failed, stealth mission down a dirt road heading to a women's prison."

He stood, then moved to the seat I was facing. "You really want to know where I was going?"

With widened eyes, I jut my face in his direction.

"I was meeting Priya–"

"Pssh." I snorted, then again turned away from him. "Of course you were."

"We were visiting her sister."

"What?"

"Priya's sister is an inmate, and I met Priya at the prison for a visit."

"What's so damn secretive about that?"

"Nothing."

"So why not just tell me that was your plan for the weekend?"

"It wasn't where I was going that I didn't care to discuss with you. It was why."

Now, he had my attention.

"Priya's sister."

I had never witnessed Quincy Winters in a flustered state. His cheeks lit up like a neon sign, he fidgeted in his seat, and I could almost bet my life that I witnessed a bead of sweat roll down his temple.

"Priya's sister." He continued. "She's my ex... wife."