"Waqt har marz ki dawa hai"

~ Meher ~

Mumbai, India

Kabir and I— we never had an ugly spat, up until now. Even when I had betrayed him, he had said nothing, but his eyes had conveyed all the emotions. He never spoke to me unless necessary, and I think his not bursting out on me made me feel a lot guiltier than I already was.

But today, something changed within me for him. Even though when he was saying all those words, there was resentment and not hatred. He did not try to hurt me back— even though he was hurting me, he did not say something that would hurt my soul. He just told what he felt in those moments.

Seeing Kabir and how he was with his family, a part of me had never forgiven myself for committing such an act. Back then, Akash Uncle thought that I was mistaken because Kabir got cleared by the Narcotics Bureau as he did not have any drugs on him.

Kabir made efforts to move out, even bought this penthouse while he was very young, just to stay away from the family. And I think everyone understood it and his emotions.

I never wanted to separate a child from his family.

But I did.

The way Kabir expressed himself today was so raw— it was as if he wanted to tell me all of that for years and today he got that chance.

I think I was a bit too much in this act of presence to the point it was bothering me. The car stopped in front of the large staircase that led to the house. As usual, the fountain in front of it was at its finest, the water continuously flowing.

The AV Villa was decorated like a bride, the lights shining to their brightest. As Kabir and I climbed the stairs, we saw a huge rangoli made on the side of the door, the words written in Hindi, right at the centre.

Kabir Sang Meher, which translated to Kabir and Meher.

None of us had to ring the bell as the door was already opened. We greeted the guards and walked hand in hand inside the house as if everything was normal between us.

"Mom!" I left Kabir's hand and ran towards my mother and jumped in her embrace. It had barely been days, that I felt like I was missing my parents a lot more than I stayed far away. Maybe it's the feeling of every girl after getting married that you sort of feel that you are detached from your parents or that you crave more of them than you used to before.

"Mera heera," My mother caressed my hair so lovingly that I snuggled into her arms more, wanting to bury everything that I was feeling currently somewhere and stay in her arms forever.

But then I felt my Mom's shoulder tense. I broke the hug to get a clear sight of her face, instead, I saw her staring at me in concern. Her hand cupped my cheek, slowly moving to my hair. "What happened, Meher?" I closed my eyes sensing her touch, letting it soothe myself. "Are you not happy mera bachcha?"

I am not happy Maa, I did something terrible, I wanted to say that to her. I looked around to see Kabir looking at us, offering a small smile and shaking his head subtly, stopping me from saying anything.

I sighed.

I smiled at my mother, shaking my head. "Nothing Mom, I am just tired of all the wedding shebang," she nodded, not noticing my lie. "Marriage is a complicated but beautiful word. It's just the start, honey. You would do great and Kabir is a great guy. You both will keep each other happy."

I don't know if I could ever make Kabir Raizada happy.

I could try but I wasn't sure if I could do something that would make him smile. Happy was a very far-fetched emotion for Kabir to feel, none of us made him happy.

I walked towards the lounge to see the rest of the family chit chatting— even Maan had graced us with his presence. Upon looking at me, he greets me with a wink and proceeds to talk with Akash Uncle. I slipped away from my Mom to join the twins who were busy talking within themselves.

"Bhabhi!" Aryan waved at me with a lopsided grin, "How are you?"

"Shut up, asshole," I mutter as I sit in between the two. Laughs erupted from both sides. They were getting the thrill out of teasing the hell out of me. The twins looped an arm around my shoulders from both sides. "So tell me Meher Raizada, how did you spend your first day as a married woman?"

"Nothing very interesting," I lied through my teeth. "Sorry to burst your bubble. No drama."

"Wow," Arya snorted, "considering you and Bhai are always on the loggerheads, it's quite unbelievable you guys spent the day without fighting. Anyhow, good job!"

If only that were indeed the case.

"But I am curious Meher," Aryan leaned closer and so did Arya as if he were about to discuss a top secret.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What's the deal with you and Bhai? Why are you guys so cold around each other?" I took a deep breath upon hearing the question. Kabir and I never tried speaking to each other unless there was a dire need for it, let alone hanging out together.

If not the parents, the twins had always sensed the cold energy that was there whenever the two of us were present.

"We just never clicked with each other, you know. We are too different," I framed a convincing answer so as not to air the dirty laundry.

Arya clicked her tongue. "I think you guys are way too similar that makes you not see each other in the eye. The way I see it, you guys are not that different. Both of you are reserved and don't really care about the world except for the people you love. You don't like being wronged— you don't let the other person sleep in peace unless you are satisfied," those words felt haunting to me like all of it was coming back to me, like karma.

Aryan nodded. "You both are like two peas in a pod, the same but a little different. The day I saw you both signing up for something that potentially changed your lives, there was a similar fire in your eyes— that desperate need for answers, justice and power."

I hadn't realised but I was fidgeting with my fingers. I found myself looking at Kabir again, who had indulged himself in a chat with the mothers.

Kabir and I weren't the same. We had always been different.

After a while of talking, all of us got seated for the dinner. Today, it was a feast— a celebration to commemorate the wedding. All of us were poured a glass of red wine and the cuisine was Continental and Italian, our favourite cuisines.

Before we could start with our dinner, Akash Uncle got up from his seat and raised his glass and held a spoon, with a clink he gained our attention as if he was about to announce something. I watched Dad getting up and going to stand beside him.

"Today's gathering is special for two reasons—" Uncle started, smiling at Dad. "One, our friendship has now turned into a relationship thanks to our children and the second is that since Meher's interim period at the media house is over, it's about time that she takes over AV Media Corp." Hoots, whistles and claps reverberated in the air as the announcement was made, my heart was thumping over the news.

I was about to be given a big responsibility. It was humongous and the feeling was nerve-racking. For a while I forgot about the fight I had in the morning as I let this feeling seep inside, my arms tingling in delight. For years, we had been trained to become leaders, no matter what path we chose, we always had to come back to this place.

And the day was about to come very soon. I felt overwhelmed when I got hugs from everyone, congratulating me. After I finally sat to eat, my eyes locked with his onyx ones, who passed me a small smile, mouthing congratulations.

And then all of a sudden, it came back, the confrontation, the fight. I could feel the pit forming in my stomach, there are always two kinds of feelings we feel at the same time.

For me, it was happiness and sadness.

*   *   *

It was almost midnight when we came back to the penthouse. Today was tiring. I stretched my neck and sauntered into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water.

"Fancy a wine?" I blinked my eyes in surprise and looked up to see Kabir holding a bottle of wine and two flute glasses.

Fifteen minutes later, I found myself sitting beside Kabir in the dining area. We clinked our glasses together and I took a sip of wine, the rustic, bitter taste of the liquid was working its way to calm my nerves.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, starting the conversation.

I blew air, my brows creasing together. "That, how I never turn down an invitation for alcohol," I laughed at my own joke. Maybe, the wine had already started affecting my head.

To my surprise, he chuckled. "You really love to drink, don't you?" I shrugged, sipping some more of that wine.

"You said you don't want to have conversations with me," I referred to the fight in the morning. Kabir kept his glass down and placed both his arms on the table.

"After the conversation," I stared at him, "I mean after the altercation, I realised we cannot avoid each other when we are living under the same roof. It's been a long while since I haven't stayed with someone here. You were right, we ought to communicate when we are under the same roof. We aren't really strangers, we can never be. Let's start over."

I stared at him, my mouth hanging down in surprise. Was he the same Kabir who fought with me just to let me know why we shouldn't talk?

"Are you for real?" I asked him just to get myself a confirmation. Kabir nodded and I slapped my palm over my mouth. I wanted to scoff but it was better to keep my mouth shut.

"I never thought this day would come so soon, or are you pitying me?" I narrowed my eyes at him and he shrugged and I sighed. I couldn't have expected better.

"I don't like someone pitying me, Kabir. I am at fault here, don't be nice," I kept the glass down and stood up to leave until I was stopped by his hand wrapped around my wrist.

I turned to him. "Stay," he tugged me towards the seat beside him, making me sit. He handed me my unfinished glass, took hold of his glass, clinked with mine and took a small sip.

We sat there in silence, sometimes looking at each other and sometimes looking everywhere but at each other. I felt drunk as the alcohol was getting in my head, but nothing that could throw me off my senses.

Kabir had a book by his side which he started reading. Drinking and reading, was it even legal? Also, weren't we having a conversation?

"Meher?" He looked up from the book. "Hmm?"

"I realised that you smile very often," he gazed softly.

"I love to smile," I gave a justified answer, though in my heart, I knew it wasn't true.

"Why do you smile when you don't mean it?" Kabir asked as he flipped the page of the book he was reading. I took a quick glance at the book and realised that it was a self-help book.

My ear immediately perked up at his question, slightly glaring at him. I sighed audibly, as I didn't know the answer to this question.

"I don't know," it came off as a hoarse whisper. Kabir didn't really look at me and kept his focus on the book.

"Do you really hate me, Kabir?" It was Kabir's turn to look at me and I innocently blinked at him, waiting for an answer.

"I don't know."

I smiled, as for this time, it was indeed genuine.

"I don't hate you Mini moe," he shut his book and slipped it away from him, from us. "I just can't like you," those words pricked my heart like a needle. "Or so I believed." This time it made me gasp, making him stop. Was this a confession?

"It's not," he deadpanned. I think I just spoke what was on my mind. "Then what is it?" I kept my hands on the table and leaned closer, his face was a few inches away from mine.

"I don't like you, now," he clarified, "but I believe that there's a possibility of us being friends in the near future when maybe, we would start observing different things within each other." If it was any sort of reassurance, I sure as hell felt content that he did not hate me.

I always felt repulsed at the idea of people hating me. It was something that I couldn't really bear. If something of that sort happened, I would either cut myself from them or cry my heart out, which by the way was the case most of the time.

"Kabir, I think I should tell the truth to our family," I finally came to a conclusion, which I felt should be the best for now.

Kabir shook his head, looking at me straight in the eye. "Never do that," It wasn't a suggestion or a request— it was an order. "It's only going to ruin relationships."

"And you are still handling all of the repercussions, I can't do this to you, not anymore," Maybe it was the alcohol but I could feel tears pooling in my eyes and I blinked harshly to not let them fall.

"You are just not from the Mathur family anymore. Even if it's a contract, it's still a marriage and you are a Raizada. Why jump in the fire when you know it's going to tear you into pieces and swallow you up? Not after all this time, Mathur, not now. Now it would only seem like you are trying to empty your guilty conscience. Don't go there," he muttered softly.

"I want to mend your relationship with your parents," I clarified, trying to justify with more determination.

Kabir snorted as if it was some sort of a joke I had cracked. "You can't mend it Meher. They knew I was innocent, yet their actions made me feel like I was an outsider. I felt like I should have gone to them earlier, which I did by the way. But sometimes you realise that the problem is within me, Meher. I am the one who has become reclusive."

I had never imagined my heart breaking for Kabir Raizada. He was just sitting there, like a small child, craving for love. 

Hesitating, I put my hand over his, squeezing it gently. "Let me do it Kabir, please. I am not scared of the outcome."

Kabir turned to me, his other hand covering mine. "Do you think they're too dumb to realise what you might have said might be a lie or a misunderstanding?" I fell silent. "See, you're not an idiot. I don't want to recall the past over and over, living through those incidents. I hope you can at least respect my wishes."

The least I could do was respect his wishes, his words were so straightforward, like a knife slicing through my heart. I gulped and slowly nodded, agreeing to his wishes. With every passing moment, my heart felt heavier as I watched the damage I had caused to an innocent man.

If not this way, I really hope I can come up with a way to make Kabir Raizada happy.

This can be my goal for him till the time we are married. The least I can do is make him happy, at least when I walk away from him, he would be at peace, smiling more often.

This drunken conversation might not make any major changes between us, as we might go back to square one but at least, I found a definitive goal apart from finding out who had killed Sahil and why.

Mission happiness overloaded.

Meher on a new mission, a little drunken heart to heart between the couple, say what? How did you find this chapter to be? Let me know in the comments.

There's a little information I want to disclose but not yet, but soon. I am hoping to make updates more regular, so I am planning to stack some chapters, this is the first of the lot.

February is the season of love, how's it going for you all?

Please VOTE, SHARE and COMMENT. Comment a heart if you enjoyed reading the chapter.

With Love,

Akii.