"Kya woh jhoot, jhoot hai agar kisi ache kaam ke liye kahi jaa rahi ho?"

~ Meher ~

Mumbai, India

When my mind reeled in emotions, I couldn't think of anything else. Sometimes we make decisions to do something good in the world, to make peace.

To marry Kabir was a decision that I took when I was at my lowest, maybe I still am at my lowest. When have I ever risen up? I have been sinking in this swamp of tragedies and deaths that whenever I thought I was recovering, there was something else to push me down again.

It wasn't like I didn't have people around to help me, to heal me. But that's the thing right, they cannot heal me. They can never feel the pain that I am going through.

Today was the day when I and Kabir decided to reveal to our families that we had decided to marry each other. I was still under my quilt, holding on to the copy of the agreement that I had signed yesterday, signing my life away.

In my life, the only guy I had ever thought of marrying was Abhimanyu. Even way before the confession, I had envisioned our future together when I thought that my feelings for him were one sided.

But there was no future for us.

I tapped on my phone to see the wallpaper, it was a photo of our first picture together as friends back in college, when times were simple and uncomplicated.

They said love heals but love had broken me apart. Now I was a statue of grief and sadness, trying to find the meaning of my life, trying to take charge of it.

And then there was Sahil. His death shook me. How I wish every day that it was me who should have died and not him.

And there was this bullshit of a contract. The thought of marrying Kabir made my stomach somersault and made me nauseous. How was I going to spend so much time with him?

I flipped the sheet of my body and went over to my dressing table. The dark under eyes and puffy cheeks showed me that I wasn't doing well.

The pain had taken over a portion of my brain and my heart, as if dealing with it was some kind of an expenditure, without the effort of new thoughts. It stole the part of me I most wanted to share with others, my light and laughter, my extroverted self. It was the kind of pain that burnt as if some invisible flame had caught onto my skin. The emotions of loss were that way, right?

Death, guilt and heartbreak, all of them led me here.

It was a Saturday night, all of us were at home together after a long time and we were going to have dinner together. There we would announce our relationship, Kabir was about to join us at the restaurant.

For some reason, the anxiety skyrocketed to another level. The hurricane of thoughts had gotten under my skin, I didn't know what was more left to happen in my life.

Picking out a dress that I was supposed to wear tonight, I clutched onto the fabric of that velvety black belted dress, feeling the softness of the fabric. It was one of the first dresses that Arya had stitched and designed for me, something I always kept close to me.

I wore this dress whenever I did something important. I quickly got changed and applied a little makeup. Wearing my favourite heels, I went downstairs to join the twins as we were about to head to the restaurant together.

I quickly got changed and applied makeup. I always loved makeup— how it was always so convenient to hide the literal marks on your face, to hide yourself from the world.

When I got downstairs, Aryan and Arya were already waiting for me. I smiled at them when I finally got in step with them. "I love it when you wear this dress," Arya gushed as she went on about how pretty I looked in her dress as we linked our arms together and headed towards our car.

Aryan drove us to the restaurant. The drive was pretty short because the restaurant was just a few kilometres from our house. The Heras restaurant was one of the popular high-end chains of restaurants owned by Aditya Dhyani, a Michelin star chef. At a very young age, it was known that Aditya Dhyani had twelve Michelin stars which was a difficult feat to achieve at such a young age.

The moment I set foot inside the restaurant, I was in awe of it. The interior had a very upper class theme, everything from the lights to the wall decor looked regal.

I was in love with it.

We spotted our family in one corner and made a beeline towards them. When we reached there, I noticed Kabir to be already present along with our parents waiting for our arrival.

My eyes travelled along the lines of his hands as I noticed a subtle tap on the chair beside him. Obliging, I took a seat beside him, thankfully, nobody noticed the little exchange between the both of us.

Dad had already taken the liberty to order the food and drinks for us. The drinks were served to us in no time and I started sipping on my mango mocktail as I felt hungry all of a sudden.

The clink of the glass made me look at Kabir and I braced myself for the revelation. Why was it happening so soon? Shouldn't we wait?

I looked at Aryan and he was already staring at us. His expressions were taut as he was clearly not happy with what was coming.

"What is it, Kabir?" Divya Aunty asks him.

"I and Meher have to say something," Kabir tells everyone and everyone's attention is now on us. I avoided Arya's prying eyes and kept my attention on my mocktail.

It was orangish-yellow with a tinge of green. It looked and tasted fancy. Exactly my type.

"Bhai what's with the silence? End the suspense already," Arya's impatient tone made my heart race wildly and I already wanted to get over with the information.

"I and Meher want to marry each other," there, he said it. The clash of the fork with the plate made me shift my attention to Arya, who had hung her mouth open in shock. My gaze travelled to the rest of the family members except for Aryan who was the least bothered with the information. And their reactions were no different. The Dads had frozen and the Moms had their eyes widened in shock.

The eyes would pop out of their sockets if they didn't start blinking the next second.

"Say something," I nervously laughed and I could hear Kabir sigh beside me.

I saw Mom open and close her mouth several times, the news was definitely a shocker.

"When did you guys fall in love?" It was Akash uncle who had asked us this question, finally the  ice had broken and the question answer session had begun.

Kabir looked at me and I nodded, letting him answer the question. "We're not in love," Divya Aunty gasped at the answer and Kabir hissed at her response. "I have not finished speaking, Mom," Aunty zipped her mouth and waited for him to finish.

"After Radhika died, I had immersed myself in work. But when I went home, I always felt alone. So, I wanted to be with someone, wanted to have a life partner with whom I could share my woes and worries with her. So that's how I decided that I wanted to settle. I went on dates with quite a few girls, but nothing worked out. So when Meher came, we spoke to each other and had similar interests, including our views on marriage," I badly wanted to roll my eyes. "So I popped her the question. She took her time to answer, but it was in my favour." he smiled at me. The sight of him smiling wanted me to choke on my drink.

But, I smiled back at him. "Yes, as you know I had never fallen in love," Arya coughed and I ignored her as I continued to lie, "but I always had enjoyed the idea of having a life partner. I believe that I am settled in my career and it's about time that I get settled in my personal life as well. So when Kabir asked me to marry him, I thought that there wouldn't be any trouble marrying him. We are friends already and we will fall in love someday."

I didn't know if what I had said was believable. I had never learnt to lie but today, I was lying for a friend.

Whenever the guilt was crawling up on me, thinking of Sahil made me believe that all of it was worth it. He was worth everything.

I turned to Kabir. He had a very blank expression. To say I was very surprised when he brought up his tragedy with Radhika to solidify our lie. Whenever I had spoken to anyone in the family when I was in the US, I had known for a fact that Kabir never, like literally never uttered Radhika's name from his lips.

And neither did the family.

But somewhere, I felt the truth in Kabir's words. I knew he felt alone. Maybe, because I was one of the reasons why he was like that.

"So you mean to say that you have arranged yourselves to be married to each other?" Dad had his question directed to Kabir. The fact that he did not ask me made my stomach churn.

He was definitely not happy with the way I broke the news with everyone.

"Yes, you can say that," he answered, Dad's grim face had loosened a little.

"This is great news," Mom finally said something. Her face radiated happiness as she looked at us in joy. She always hated my aloof and introverted nature, she always pictured me with someone. And today, her wish was fulfilled.

But I was not happy.

Because all of this was a lie.

And the reason for her happiness was also a lie.

Even Divya aunty came out of her initial shock and started hugging Mom out of happiness. They were literally crying. Sure, their reaction was out of elation but it made me uncomfortable and judging by Kabir's actions, he was feeling the same.

"Welcome to the family, bean," Akash Uncle warmly smiled at my direction, helping me calm down. I looked at my Dad, who was now looking at me with a small smile. He gently nodded at me and my eyes welled up. I pressed my lips tight to prevent myself from crying.

But Arya's reaction was the strangest one. She had no reaction on her face, just scrutiny. She kept on looking at us, as if she was trying to figure out what we were actually gaining out of this relationship.

Arya was my best friend. She had stood by me through thick and thin and it felt unfair that I had to lie to her. So I decided to do the right thing. If Aryan and Kabir believed that their sister was a tattle tale, I believed otherwise. She hid my secret from the world for five years and was continuing to do it.

So I picked up my phone and texted her.

I will explain you everything once we reach home.

Arya picked up her phone and read the message and gave me a nod.

"So you're telling Arya?" Kabir whispered in my ear and I looked at him as it was the most obvious thing. "Yes, she's my best friend and my sister. There's no way in the world that I am not telling this to her."

"She doesn't keep anything in her stomach," he gritted and I paid no heed.

"You should work on your relationships, Raizada," I said coolly, sipping my mocktail. "You obviously don't know your sister."

I had a little sense of satisfaction when I saw his jaw twitch and tighten, I knew I hit the nerve. But I had hit him below the belt. I had hit him where it hurt him the most.

Maybe that's how our relationship was going to be.

Hurt, anger and everything in between.

*   *   *

"Explain," Arya crossed her arms as she sat on my bed.

The moment we returned home, Arya did not even change her clothes and made a beeline towards my room. I pulled a chair from a corner and sat in front of her. I smoothened my dress and took a deep breath before I started to explain the situation.

"It's a contract marriage," I confessed . Arya slapped her palm over her mouth in shock but did not say anything. So, I continued. "He gets the position of CEO and Chairman of the AV Group and I get my answers regarding Sahil's murder."

"S-Sahil? Murder? Meher what the hell are you talking about?" Arya looked very confused as to what was happening. It was not her fault though. This sudden dump of information could make any person go mad, here she was atleast confused.

"Sahil's death," a wave of emotion rushed through me as I recalled the accident, "it was a planned murder. Sahil was working on something alongside Kabir and due to that he was attacked."

"So how does marriage came into the picture? Wait, isn't that why Bhai had asked you before for marriage but I thought you had—"

"Refused," I completed for her. "Yes, I did turn down the proposal but then this accident happened. And to be very honest Arya, I have thought about this a lot and sadly there is no other option. Nothing is for free in this world. You need to pay for something and get it. I am paying with my life for Sahil's justice."

Arya did not say anything. I did not pry on her to think about this, take my side or whatever because on the other side it was her own brother. And for now even though I and Kabir hated each other, we were a team. We had to work together to make all of this work.

"You know, when you told me about Bhai's proposal for the first time, I had genuinely thought that you two would make an amazing couple. And my view on that still hasn't deterred after knowing this. Because you know why?" She leaned forward, looking at me with interest.

"Because even this destiny wants you two to be together. Maybe Bhai's question was out of need of power but I can see you guys falling in love one day," I scoffed at her shameless statement.

Kabir nowhere topped Abhimanyu. Abhi was my standard of falling in love.

"I am waiting for the day to get the divorce," Arya chuckled, shaking her head. "I can't wait for you to get married," She clapped her hands together in her classic Arya style and made her way out of my room.

I was not joking. I really can't wait for the day I divorce Kabir Raizada.

Here we come to the end of this chapter. Kabir and Meher finally made it official. Though it's fake, everything is real, just not their feelings. The next few chapters will be dedicated to the wedding series as the over hyped mothers couldn't wait to see their children off.

What did you think of this chapter? Let me know in the comments.

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With Love,

Akii.