"Kashmakash main hai ab zindagi, raahon ka ab kuch pata nahi"

~ Meher ~

Mumbai, India

The date was a failure. Terrible, if I may add.

I don't think it was a wise decision considering that Abhi's death anniversary was nearby and I wouldn't be in my right mind.

We went to a café and we spoke for a good long time. But something did not click. We came to a mutual decision that we were better off as friends.

It was a pity that we couldn't give some spice to the paparazzi who were in the café acting as if they were not trying to spy on us.

And then, my mind drifted to Kabir's proposal. I mean, who in their sane mind asks your enemy to marry you?

Kabir confused me. He always did. I did not know what had gotten into me when I told him what I was getting out of that marriage, as if I was actually considering it.

Actually, I did consider it. I am still considering it. No, I don't like him. It's because this relationship would give me an escape from people's questions, a freedom and there would be no expectations.

I was tired of people asking me questions. I was tired of feeling that I should be answerable to them about my life choices. Marriage may not be the right way out for escaping problems but this proposal was a win-win for me.

At least to the point where I wouldn't be bothered for quite a while.

When I had nothing to answer, I ran away. Always had. I ran to Bangalore for my masters. I ran away to the US.

But now, I can't run away. I was feeling suffocated. Mom was searching for potential grooms for me as if finding a life partner was the only important thing in one's life.

Kabir was serious about the proposal. He wanted to become the CEO. It was his dream.

And I trusted Kabir when it came to our business. He was the best of the lot and as a member of the board, I would vote for him, without thinking twice.

But the thing was, he hated me and he had a valid reason, then why choose someone who infuriates you?

Did I hate Kabir? He wasn't that significant in my life with whom I associate emotions with.

But, he made me curious.

He had always made me curious. Maybe it was a thing where you get curious about brooding men.

Kabir was the kind of person who would first tell you why he hates you and then keep on hating you. He was honest.

He already hated me before I arrived in Mumbai. I had seen that in his eyes. I had felt it and that made me curious. I had spent days wondering about the possible reasons but never came up with the right answer. And then there was one day where he told me and I ridiculed him for that.

Because that was his problem.

But then that incident happened. And I was guilty.

And Kabir Raizada hated me more than ever.

He was making me go insane.

A knock on the door got me out of my thoughts and I noticed Arya leaning on the doorframe, holding two cans of beer.

"Care for a drink?" She walked in while I crossed my legs and made space for her to sit on the bed.

She sat, facing me and kept the cans in between us. She held out one can for me and I shook my head, I don't think I was in the mood to drink.

"You're refusing beer?" She raised a brow and I smiled at her little act of being surprised. I never refuse a drink.

"I don't feel like it," I told her and she nodded, understanding the meaning hidden under my words.

"It's in a few days," she says quietly, the air suddenly felt tense between us.

I hummed.

"How are you holding up?" I sighed when she asked me that question.

"Is there anything to hold up? Everything has fallen apart," I painfully smiled at her and suddenly, all of that pain, that suffering of five years felt real again. As if it was never gone.

"You know," I moved back and rested my back against the headboard, "on the day of his death, he told me something— forever is a myth. Instead, he made a promise of till death do us apart," More than his I love you, this had stayed more on my mind.

Every time I thought about him, his promise always surfaced in my mind. It felt as if he knew something was about to happen. And the idea of it always unsettled me.

"You think something happened to him?" Arya asked. I looked at her silently and then slowly shook my head.

"No, I had checked. There was nothing of that sort. It was Abhi's fault actually," My voice shook as I recalled the CCTV footage I saw at the police station five years ago. "He was riding the bike on the wrong side." Even though it was a recording, I had seen it. I had seen my love taking his last breath. I wished, I really wished that I had gotten a chance to scold him for being too adventurous. He wanted to give me something and he wanted to give me that gift the day itself.

One wrong decision just ruined everything.

"Your brother proposed to me," Arya choked on her drink. I went over to pat her back as she started coughing violently. "I thought you guys are not on good terms?" she croaked while patting her chest.

I shrugged. I was never going to tell her about my ongoing feud with her brother. Some things were better left untold.

"You don't like him," she narrowed her eyes at me, "but it looks like you are kind of considering it."

"Bingo!"

"What is it? Like an arranged setup?" she chuckled and I pressed my lips to hide my smile. "But honestly, I think you guys would make a good couple."

The smile on my face faded as I looked at her in surprise. "What are you saying?"

"You want my honest opinion?"

I nodded.

Arya took a good long pause before she put her views in front of me.

"I think it will be a great match," she heavily emphasised on great and I couldn't help but look at her in displeasure. From where did it look like we would be great together?

"Why?" I crossed my arms and waited for her reply.

"I don't think anyone can understand Bhai the way you will. You share a similar kind of pain, Meher. It will bring you together," I guessed it right. I knew she was going to answer that.

I snorted, "So you think we make a great match just because it is easy to dump our trauma on each other?"

Arya chuckled as she took a small sip from her drink. "I just think you can understand each other's feelings," yeah the hate, "better."

"And I think," she hadn't finished, "you guys have chemistry. I can feel the tension." She fanned herself.

I threw a pillow at her. "You used to fail in physics, what tension? It's awkwardness."

"Dude, that's sexy. Bro, you'll have a good sex life— eww that's my brother," she cringed as she visualised, making me cringe in the process.

I would rather die as a virgin.

"But on a serious note, Mehru," she stared me right in the eye, a serious expression taking over her features, "consider it. It's not as bad as you think it will be."

Considering Kabir Raizada for marriage, it wasn't a scam. I knew why he wanted to do it. But I also knew the kind of person he was.

Agreeing to this proposal, would it be an opportunity or a dangerous gamble?

I think I had one more person to talk to.

*   *   *

3 Days Later

"You've been avoiding me," I said as I sipped my coffee.

"It wasn't my intention," Sahil tried to protest but I raised my hand to stop him from speaking any further.

His jaw was twitching and his eyes were looking everywhere except for me.

Liar.

Knowing that someone is lying just by looking at their physical expressions was a talent. I happened to possess that talent.

But, the sad thing was it didn't apply to everyone. A few, like the twins and this guy in front of me.

Talent would be a little far fetched. Good observation skills would be a better choice of words.

I was irked by Sahil. I was irritated by his behavior. Ever since I came back, he was behaving differently, something which was bothering me. He wasn't like that.

"Am I imposing myself on you?" I asked him when the irritation finally hit my nerves.

Sahil laughed. "What? No. Are you mad?"

"Then, why are you being like this? Why are you acting so differently?" He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and I felt a small sense of victory when I put him in a difficult position.

Sahil's facial expressions changed every second and I knew that he was thinking something very deeply.

And within that time, my Tiramisu was served as well. I let Sahil think over his words, while I helped myself with the food.

"I am working on a big project," I looked at him, his hands clasped together as he leaned forward. I kept the spoon on the plate and leaned forward to hear what he was going to say.

"And I have Kabir Raizada on board with me," he added. I nodded in understanding.

"How far have you reached?"

"We're halfway done, hopefully, we will earn a huge profit by the end," maybe this was not a normal journo gig.

It was business.

"It's a business deal?" I asked him in surprise.

"Sort of," he shrugged, playing it off.

The topic ended there. I looked around in the café, it was located in Bandra, and the sea was easily visible from there. It was a good café, with an aesthetically pleasing ambience and really good food.

"Kabir proposed to me," I told him after I got tired of being silent for a long time. Whatever Sahil was doing, he stopped it and looked at me in surprise. "Wow," he chuckled. "Wait, you don't like him and neither is he fond of you. What in the world is happening?" And then, he started laughing.

I was asking myself the same question.

What in the world was exactly happening?

"It's your life, Meher. What can I do?" Sahil finally stopped his laughing fit and jumps to the point.

"I am here for an opinion, an advice, Sahil," I emphasised, the desperate need of getting help was getting the best out of me.

"Acha okay, tell me. What advice do you want?"

"Should I marry him or not?" I stated the obvious, which earned me a sharp finger flick on my forehead.

I rubbed my forehead, wincing at the familiar hit. "I can't control your life decisions, stupid. It's you who has to take the final call. You have a brain, use it. What's the use of having so much intelligence when you can't even make basic life decisions?" And I got scolded by uttering after being too desperate for advice.

But it was good to see Sahil in his element. The finger flick was our thing. Even when we were in college, we used to bicker nonstop and never got along. We were the kind of friends who stuck to each other but never stopped irritating each other to the point where one had to separate us. There were times when Abhi and Tara actually did that.

And now, look at us.

We don't really fight like that anymore. Only disagreements happen, regarding something serious and never something trivial.

Maybe it was adulting.

Or maybe it was something else.

"As far as I know Kabir," he hummed and I looked at him as he was thinking deeply. "He's a very fine guy." My heart dropped but he had more to say. "But, I am not sure how he will fit in your life."

There, he said it.

"Elaborate," I probe.

"You both are too similar," Wait, what? "Mildly villainous, headstrong, egoistic and someone with a past. You might get along with each other when you share your past heartbreak and trauma but will be on loggerheads every single time you have a conversation." He explained.

"Okay, that is fine," I keep my elbows on the table and lean forward, "I am mildly villainous?!" I screech, drawing attention from people seated at the other table.

I can't just believe he said that.

What an asshole.

"Well, there's no denying about it," I wanted to claw his eyes when he shrugged. Look at the audacity.

"Do you know you're insufferable?" I rolled my eyes at him after I mentally cursed him for innumerable times.

"Do you know you are a royal bitch?" He mimicked me as if that was something very funny.

And there, the conversation ended and we returned and while I came back home, I realised one thing.

He never really gave me a proper answer to my problem.

*   *   *

I walk into the AV Group building, where the offices of the top management officers were present— that includes the board directors, the Chairman, the CEO and the MD.

And today, I had come to the office not to meet my Dad or Akash Uncle, but the infamous Kabir Raizada.

I wasn't willing to meet him. I had been cordially invited to his office for lunch.

And I can't believe that I am actually doing this.

Or rather being forced into doing this.

When you are a trainee, you're supposed to listen to your coordinator and that's what I was doing— obeying the rules and following the instructions, which actually led me to Kabir Raizada's office.

What an abuse of power.

And when I stood in front of the door to his cabin, I decided to be the rude guest.

And that's what I did next. Barged straight into Kabir Raizada's cabin.

"Desperate measures, need desperate solutions," I announced my entry aloud, startling him. I saw him shake visibly, which brought momentary peace to my heart.

And Kabir was a good actor. He acted as if my entry did not startle him and that he was extremely happy to have me as his guest.

"Have a seat, Meher," he got up from his chair and walked over to me. And the next thing shakes me up for a moment. He stands beside me and puts his arm around my shoulder as he gently leads me to the sofa and makes me sit there.

The light brush of his fingers on the tip of my shoulders gave me shivers, I had never been in such proximity with Kabir, like ever. It was very rare for us to stand so close.

I sat and he followed, as if trying to be a gentleman.

I think I would not be able to digest this Kabir.

I am already nauseous.

Coming here seemed like a bad idea. I already wanted to run away.

So I tried that. Note the keyword— tried.

I got up in a hurry and turned on my heels and walked towards the door. Before my hand could even reach the doorknob, his hand clasped around my wrist and spun me around, the force made my back crash against the door and in split seconds Kabir was facing me, pinning me against the door.

I tried to move, but his other hand came flying to only stop near my face, pressing hard on the door.

I hadn't realised the proximity we were standing in. Our faces were inches away, too close, we breathing in each other's personal space.

Kabir's face moved even closer, as he tilted his head, his stubble tickling my left cheek. I could feel his breath fall on my ears and my toes eventually curled in.

"What were you doing?" He did not grit, instead, he softly asked, so soft that I could feel my knees go weak. I felt the hair on my neck standing up when I felt his lips brush against my ear.

And that's when the fight and flight senses kicked in and I pushed him away with force.

Kabir staggered back but did not lose his momentum. Instead of being angry, he stared at me and smirked, making me even more uncomfortable.

"Do you think this cheap trick will make me agree to marry you?" I panted as I tried to deviate my mind from my heart which was racing wildly.

He did not say anything. Instead, like an insufferable being, his lips curved even more, infuriating me further.

"You're finding this funny?" I screamed at him, and he tsked, shaking his head.

"I never said that convincing you for marriage would be easy, Mini," he said, walking towards me. I stayed rooted in my place when he came to stand in front of me. "However," his voice softened as he lowered his head to my level, his onyx eyes crashing against mine. There was mirth dancing in his eyes.

"I did come to know what can make Meher Mathur go weak in her knees."

Lord bless me for being so punctual after such a long time. Here's the chapter. I finished writing this like it's past 1 AM now. I am too tired and will probably fall asleep in a while.

Meher is considering Kabir's proposal at a full-fledged level. Meher needs an escape from life and from questions and this proposal is the best way to dodge it. She's thinking about Kabir Raizada's golden offer for marriage.

Also, some desperate people wanted a slow burn scene. Here we go, tried my best to write the final sequence. What are your opinions? Now satisfied, like thoda?

What are your thoughts on the chapter? Let me know your views in the comments. Let's have a discussion.

Do VOTE, SHARE and COMMENT. Drop a heart if you enjoyed reading the chapter.

With Love,

Akii.