"Akelepan mein hota hai unn haseen yaadon ka ehsaas, kuch khatti, kuch meethi"

~ Kabir ~

Mumbai, India

She laughed in my face.

Well, that was pretty much what I had expected it to be. Sometimes, I really wonder about my audacity. I had no fool proof plan before blurting out this bullshit.

"I am sorry, what?" She laughed again as if it was the funniest joke she had heard in her entire life. Her laughs pissed me off. I understood why she was ridiculed by the thing but there wasn't anything to laugh about.

Or was it?

"I am serious, Meher," she stopped laughing and looked at me in shock. Her face went through multiple expressions in such a small time that I couldn't comprehend what she was thinking.

"Why?" She looked at me dead in the eye. "Why me?"

"Well, you're the better option," I shrugged. Meher was still not convinced. I knew that.

"The truth, Kabir," she emphasized, gritting the words through her teeth.

Telling Meher to get into a marriage was already a bad idea and now telling the truth seemed even worse.

I knew Meher wouldn't be easily fazed by the proposal. To her it was a joke and to me, my biggest misery.

I had to swallow my pride to achieve my goal.

"I want the position of the CEO," I told her and her eyes narrowed in confusion.

"Didn't I tell you that I am not eyeing for that position—" she started her rant again but I cut her off.

"And to want that, you need to be married for some years," whatever it was, she got silent all of a sudden as her eyes widened when she started to process the information.

The silence prolonged until she decided to speak. "So," she cleared her throat, "you want me to help you kind of become the CEO?"

I nodded. "We need to be married until I get to become the CEO and a while after I get that position. After that with mutual consent, we can file for a divorce and go back to normal," I spoke the clear truth. I had this on my mind while I drove here from my home today, the plan seemed easy. Get married and play a couple in front of the entire world and separate when the right time comes.

"What's the catch?" It was my turn to whip my head towards her in shock.

"Huh?"

"What's the catch, Kabir?" The way she questioned me felt like she was considering it. She was right. It was a deal and she should get something in return.

But what?

I had no answer for that.

"When you have the answer to my question, come with the proposal again," she gave me one last look and left the room.

For the first time, she was not wrong. What would she get out of this relationship?

*   *   *

I swirled the glass of whiskey before I took a sip.

"You actually thought of marrying Meher?" Maan repeated the question for the nth time. I nodded again, giving him the much needed confirmation.

"I can't believe it."

Neither could I. But life had given me too much shit that I had to tread on that path. Meher literally was the last of the last options or maybe never an option, but I chose her.

I still thought that I was not in my right mind. Why her after all this time?

Above that, the strange question was— why almost agree in the first place? I still did not understand what compelled her to answer that way or was it an honest mistake?

Meher Mathur did not make mistakes, a quality that we both shared. Whatever we did, was always thought over and calculated, a quality we had observed in each other for a long time.

A thing that was the reason for our fights then.

A thing that broke the string of me that kept me away from harming her.

The bell rang and Maan attended the door, revealing Sahil.

Why was it that whenever I spoke or thought about Meher, Sahil popped up every time?

Was it love or pure friendship?

"Kabir," he came over to me directly, there were no greetings exchanged. He wasn't the usual Sahil.

This Sahil looked dishevelled. If it were any other day, I would have thought he might be having a good time.

But it looked like he was not having a good time.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"I need my payment," Sahil breathes hard, "Now."

*   *   *

"Sir I found the information," I sigh as I watch her fall, her foot twisting in an ugly way, making me wince. Sometimes I pity her. She gets up and limps towards me and keeps the file on the desk.

"Ahaan Chahal?" I voice aloud, my tone coming out as a surprise.

"Something Shady posted a picture of Meher Ma'am and Ahaan Chahal getting cosy at the gala," Then I remembered, Ahaan Chahal and Meher Mathur dancing just before Akanksha Chauhan got attacked.

I looked at the article. Well, the picture was taken in a way that would raise a lot of questions. Like giving tea to the public.

Was it their intention?

"A close source also informed me that Meher Ma'am is currently at Astro Café with Ahaan Chahal. It looks like they are on a date," As I turned the file, I saw their picture from today and it did look like they were on a date.

I shut the file and breathed.

Convincing Meher now had become a difficult task.

Meher was one tough lady. It wasn't an easy job to make her agree to marry me.

"Sir, one last thing," Aanchal said, bringing my attention back to her.

"I checked into Meher Ma'am's background," she took a pause as she slipped another file towards me.

I opened the file and saw a picture. A picture of Meher and Sahil, along with an unknown boy and girl, smiling happily into the camera.

"What is this?" I pointed at the picture, scrutinising it. Meher looked fairly younger in the picture and so did Sahil. It looked like a picture from their college days.

"The truth behind the friendship between Sahil Sir and Meher Ma'am. Meher Ma'am dated Sahil sir's best friend," My eyes widened in surprise as I looked at her pointing at that unknown guy in the picture.

He was the tallest of the lot and might I add, was handsome. He stood beside Meher, and I could see why she had fallen for him. There was a shine in her eyes, a sparkle that I had never seen in anyone as if someone had rejuvenated a life in her.

"How long?" I managed to ask, I couldn't even manage to look up as my eyes were trained on that picture.

"Barely a few hours," My head snapped up to look at her shock. Before I could give any further comment, she added, "He died the day they confessed their love for each other."

There was a feeling. A feeling of familiarity.

We both suffered from the same pain. The pain of losing our love.

Now I understood why she looked at me that night, the day Radhika died. It wasn't out of pity. It was sadness. It was pain. And she kept it all inside.

The whole world knew the tragedy Kabir Raizada went through but none of them knew what Meher Mathur was going through. I had always wondered why she was never interested in these kinds of things but now looking at the backstory, one can never get over their first love.

But that didn't mean that I had let go of the hate which I have for her. I feel bad for her, to the extent that at some points I may look out for her but not to the extent which will make me become friends with her.

Sharing almost the same kind of backstory doesn't mean the person's personality is any different. We are not different, we just have a bad destiny.

*   *   *

When I walked inside the AV Mansion, it wasn't that empty, considering it was still a weekday. Voices of my parents, siblings and the Mathur family echoed, reminding me of the old times when I was younger and stayed here. A smile made its way onto my face. I could feel my cheeks tighten, as the smile grew. It had been a while.

It had been a while since the entire family sat together in the lounge area, just chilling and cracking jokes once in a while. I can hear the horse like laugh of Arya, she gets annoyed whenever I tell her that. I entered the lounge area and I was suddenly grabbed by Shikha Aunty who dragged me to sit beside her.

I did not get how she managed to do that considering that I did not tell anyone about my arrival.

Then I remembered, might have been the guards who function partially.

"And you know what, he legit punched me in my face because I pushed his best friend, I mean is that even real?" Aryan spoke in bewilderment.

"Considering the fact that you pushed her for a silly reason, yes," Meher reasoned, the others laughing along with her.

"But then again, weren't they known for hitting people?" Arya mused and I looked around confused on what were they talking about.

The talk then deflected to some other topic, there was chaos everywhere.

The mothers spoke about something, the Dads were in some debate and the trio were in their own world.

And I, as usual, was left behind. Was it their intention? Maybe not. But it was always like that. Somewhere in that madness and chaos, I was left behind. I could say that I have a family, but there was hardly any time I felt like that. I wanted someone to just stay be me and only me.

And that one person was Radhika.

The peace to my lonely soul.

I have a best friend, and a loving family— all of them loved me but the only person who made me want to have them by my side was always her. Maybe that's why God makes people in pairs. So that they won't feel alone.

For such a long period of time, I had cursed god for taking my partner away, for making me so lonely in this vicious world.

People say that you're not alone. But, you can be alone, even when you're in a crowd.

And that's the worst feeling ever.

I watch everyone and notice how happy they are. How the corner of their eyes crinkled when they smiled widely or how they showcased multiple emotions in minutes. I don't think I remember a time when I was genuinely happy in recent times.

Probably, none.

I always visit the mansion, so that I won't feel alone, to the point that Mom and Shikha Aunty had asked me multiple times to move back in but I have always refused. Maybe because I was used to the emptiness— the darkness that made me feel alive on those lonely nights.

I look over at Meher. She was smiling brightly, listening carefully to what my siblings were saying.

My siblings. The twins. How easily they were captured in Meher's charms that they always stayed around her and were barely by my side. We had our moments, I think they like me too, just not enough to share their woes with.

Meher was their confidant.

I felt jealous of her. How was she so happy? Was it that easy to move on? To go on dates, to get back to normal life?

Maybe it was for someone like Meher who never really seemed to care for human emotions.

Did she love that guy enough?

Maybe what I was saying and blaming her was wrong of me.

But can anyone blame me for being envious of her, for being jealous over her being so happy whereas I was struggling every day to breathe, to pass one more day in my life?

Can someone blame me for being jealous of someone's happiness while I was struggling to live my life peacefully?

Here's the end of this chapter. I did not think of adding Meher's secret being revealed to Kabir in such a way, but you know how Kabir is— so that's how it is. Like a few days ago, ASTRO Member Moon BIn passed away, which brought me extreme sadness. I am still in shock, as I write this because every day, once in a while I wonder why he did that or was it an accident that can never be revealed?

When I was framing the story for Every Flame, the theme of mental depression was always in the back of my mind. I wanted to make it subtle. Like, if you read it, there was nowhere in the chapter where Kabir was saying that he was mentally depressed or that he was suffering for a long time.

He's not SAYING it. And so does Meher.

Sometimes it is better to say because being vocal brings help. Staying silent doesn't. We need to be courageous enough to share it. Maybe that's how one can get help.

Life Update: I completed a hectic year in college. Many of you must be wondering why I can't stick to the schedule for updates. But I guess life happened. The majority of HIB was during the lockdown so I had pretty much nothing to do and my escape was basically writing. It still is, I am not lying. I try to be consistent, but I can't for many reasons and the majority of the reasons are writer's block and my stupid college for keeping exams every month. Finally, I got my long awaited two month long vacation and I enjoyed my first twenty days in my native place. Now that I am back, I will try to be consistent and update more.

Let's catch up on your life as well. How has it been so far? Any tea?

How was the chapter? I don't think it was up to the mark and honest opinions are always welcome :)

DO VOTE AND COMMENT. DROP A HEART IF YOU LOVED THE CHAPTER.

With Love,
Akii.