When I get down the stairs, I hear my mother let out a proud sigh as soon as she lays her brown eyes on me. As always, my father is standing tall by her side, holding her hand. Unlike her, he isn't smiling or even looking proud. Even if we never really talked about it, I'm pretty sure he knows how I feel about the whole thing. My mother on the other hand is either as clueless as any citizen of the Capitol or she decides to ignore my recent change of attitude. Either way, she's clearly excited to watch the Victory tour. I don't blame her; I just wish she would understand that my nightmares aren't exclusively made of violent storms and my drowning brother anymore. I don't want her to worry about me though; she has a lot on her plate. Maybe it's better this way.

"Doesn't he look handsome?" loudly asks Ateia, definitely excited.

My mother nods, proudly smiling. She lets go of my father's hand and walks towards me. I grew up a lot during the past few months; I'm way taller than her now. As she touches the soft white fabric, she loses her smile. For a second, I could swear that the memories of the Reaping Ceremony flash before her eyes. I was wearing a similar outfit when my name was called on this hot July day. Maybe she's not doing better than me after all; maybe she's also broken. Of course, she quickly goes back to her usual happy state, trying to erase all sign of distress on her face. I remember that when I came back, it took me some time to notice the many wrinkles that now covered her face that used to look so long. Just like me, what happened in the arena made her grow old too fast. She raises her hand to my head but immediately regrets it after seeing me flinch. It wasn't intentional; it just became a reflex after everything the Games. She gently caresses my hair as if it was the first time she ever saw it.

"We'll cut them when you come back home." she simply says before going back to my father.

I nod, showing that I understood. We haven't done that since the arena and I'm not sure I'll be ready in three weeks. The idea of having something as simple as a pair of scissors so close to my head still makes me nervous. I know that soon enough the time where I can't say no to a haircut will come but I'd rather not think about it. My prep team have arranged them so that it doesn't look that bad; hopefully they can do that for the rest of my life. I know it's not a realistic wish but right now, it keeps me going.

"Let's go outside, the camera is waiting for you!" almost screams Ionel, my escort, while pushing me towards the door.

When I step outside, I don't see the camera pointed in my direction at first; I'm way too impressed by the beautiful sunset happening right in front of my eyes. I wish I could've stayed on the beach to better admire it, but today is not the day. Realising that I have a job to do, I turn around to face the camera. I can hear Caesar speaking through an earpiece that was given to me. I didn't miss him either. He's as excited as usual, which only gets on my nerves. Of course, I can't say any of that; I have to pretend so I smile and answer his stupid questions as nicely as I can.

The interview only lasts a couple of minutes but it's enough for me to get annoyed at what is coming before it even really started. As soon as the camera turns off, I'm rushed to the district center where a huge banquet has been prepared in my honour. Once I finish eating, I will jump into the train that will bring me to district 12. It will be the first time the new trains are used for a Victory Tour. I had to hear all about them as my prep team were getting me ready. They are much faster and apparently more comfortable too. I have a hard time imagining something better than what we had last time since it was already pretty comfortable. This only reminds me of how unequal our situation is; if only they shared a small percentage of what they had the people in the districts would have a better life.

"Are you ready for your surprise?" asks Ionel before we enter the justice building. "I hope you'll like it! A lot of people worked hard for you to get it."

At first, I'm quite surprised by his comment since he hasn't said much to me since he arrived. He did talk a lot; he was simply not talking to me. I turn in Mags' direction, unsure of what I should answer. Her confident smile tells me that maybe it won't be so bad this time. Excited, he opens a bag that I had not seen until now and grabs a piece of paper that has been rolled to take as little place as possible. He impatiently waits for me to open it so I do it as rapidly as possible to avoid any other comment.

"Thank you." I say, trying to hide both my disappointment and the strange feeling growing inside of my stomach at the sight of the image.

"It's your own copy of the Victory Tour poster! And look, behind you is the field where the finale happened and where that boy died too. What was his name again?" he says, visibly excited.

"Adenias." I mutter.

He goes on and on about the different colors they used, but I don't listen to him. Seeing this brought back so many memories that I wish I could forget. I thought that I still had some time before I had to see something like this; I was wrong once again. I'm a little angry at my mentor for getting my hopes up but maybe I shouldn't; maybe she thought I'd like it. However, that doesn't sound like her. She knows me better than this and wouldn't have made such a mistake. I look up to her and see that she still has a smile on her face.

"Ready for your other surprise?" she asksmysteriously.