It's hard for me to express myself

It's a trait I got from you

I shut the world out and keep to myself

We've got that in common, me and you.

I was a young girl when you left

For the right reasons, for me, I know;

But that doesn't mean I didn't miss you

I was so hurt inside and it would show.

It broke me inside, pops, not having you around

When I saw kids my age enjoy with their dads all about.

I was eight, I was lonely;

I loved mom but she wasn't enough for me.

I missed you when you were gone, I missed you dearly;

I always counted the days till you would come and hold me physically.

I cried myself to sleep a lot of the nights;

Even good memories of us didn't bring me delight.

I was young, I was naive;

It was my father whom I craved.

But he was Oceans away

And though somewhere I did understand,

It did not chase the pain away.

I loved you so much, I tried to be happy;

I tried to make our skype sessions my priority.

But over time it slipped from me

Just like time did and now, here we are;

Physically close, but emotionally so far.

We aren't as close anymore,

But I wish we were;

I wanna tell you how I feel

But what good is that for?

I miss being comfortable around you

The way we were before,

And I still love you dad

But it's not the same anymore.

We can barely talk, we both can't say it;

We used to hug a lot, now we smile and get on with it.

It hurts inside and it often has me thinking,

Had you not gone, would it be different?

I love you so I keep quiet

I don't want to make your heart a riot.

I say I'm not mad but that's not true,

I am, and I don't think I have forgiven you.

I want to go back to how we were

But I don't have the courage to be the first one moving forward.

I hope that someday we will cross this gap,

Till then, I hope you know that I still love you, dad.