(Heads up: This may contain some strong language. It took me some time to post this because I was getting really nervous about ppl who I'm friends with seeing this but here goes nothing ;~;)

Fuck

It happened again.

You're probably very confused about what I've talking about so let me explain it to you.

You become dehydrated when you do not drink enough water. And sometimes I don't drink enough water causing me to go through one symptom of dehydration: dizziness.  It's happened so many times I've lost count of how many times it has happened. Sometimes it will be mild and I'll lose my vision for a couple of seconds but other times I'll start shaking and I can't stop. This has never happened to me at school luckily but I'm scared it will..

My parents have seen this happen to me three times. The first two times, it was only one parent who saw it happen. My mom saw me fall and made me lay on the couch for a while. My dad heard me fall out of a chair and I had to lie to him saying that I was leaning on the chair and I fell out.

The third time was when they found up. I got up in the middle of the night as I wanted a glass of water and I'm walking past their room and the next thing I know -- I've fallen down. My mom hears this and wakes up my dad before seeing me on the ground and asking me what's wrong. I started to break down, just from the shock of it all. I mean, I'm shaken up pretty badly from this and they end up comforting me before I go back to sleep.

Earlier today, I stood up and just started shaking, my vision going
dark and I could feel myself shaking, like actually shaking. My hands are shaking at my sides and I feel myself wobble side to side and I end up falling onto the couch in the room.

After that I get a huge glass of water.

And it's not like I don't want to drink water, it's just that I forget to drink it most of the time and that affects me pretty badly. And I can tell that the dizziness is linked with my water consumption because it only happens when I have not had any water in a while. I'm scared though that it's actually not connected to dehydration and is a whole different issue and it'll get worse and worse. Heck, I'm scared that it'll happen and I faint and I'll fall and not wake up.

I hate it

(Sorry this is so long. This sorta ended out like a vent but eh, I needed to get this off my chest anyways.)