Part 7

I stormed into the office with one thing on my mind. Ang makaharap si Ms. Cee. I didn't even have time to properly dress up. I didn't have my morning coffee or my morning jog. I went straight to my office, in my freaking day-off, wearing athleisure of tight black leggings, white sneakers and cream turtleneck sweatshirt.

Napalingon ang mga kasama ko pagdating ko sa office. Alam na nila na kapag ganito ang mood ko, isa lang ang kahihinatnan. Ang makipagsagutan sa boss, which for a reason, ay sanay na silang masaksihan.

"Babaeng palaban ka nanaman, Euls," komento ng isa sa mga kasama ko sabay iling.

I knocked aggressively on Ms. Cee's office door bago ito binuksan.  "Ms. Cee."

"Oh, Euls!" bati niya na hindi man lang napansin ang pagbabanta sa boses ko.

Kaya siguro kami laging nagbabanggaan pagdating sa trabaho. I'm the more serious one, the more logical. While she's the daydreamer and  head in the clouds kind of boss. Ako ang tagahila sa kanya sa  katotohanan na imposible ang mga gusto niyang mangyari, specially when it comes to projects which are impossible to execute.

"I thought it's your day-off?"

My eyebrow twitched. She really asked about it like she wasn't the reason. Nanatili akong nakatayo sa harapan ng kanyang adjustable ergonomic desk.

"You know why I'm here, Ms. Cee."

The bright smile on her face remained as she motioned for me to sit on the plush chair.

"Is this about the studio interview?"

"I didn't agree on it," mariin kong sinabi nang makaupo. "You know the first interview was bad enough for me."

"But according to the the band's management, you did a great job. You even got complimented for handling the unexpected during the interview."

"Because I had no other choice!"

Ramdam ko ang muling pagtaas ng boses ko so I leaned back on the  chair and with both hands, I tried to mantra my way into being calm. Breathe in, breathe out.

I couldn't let them know that I would rather fly out of the country to make a cover story than face the band. Silly, I know. But that's how I feel.

Ms. Cee watched me from behind her purple rimmed glasses. "It's a cover feature, Euls. The more content we can work on, the better. You  are usually excited for exclusive features like this, specially glimpses of celebrities' normal lives."

Hindi ako sumagot. That's the thing about Ms. Cee. Kahit gaano pa  kainit ang mga ulo namin, gaano ka-pressured sa deadline o sa panic kapag may biglaang problema, nahahawa kami sa pagiging kalmado at positive niya.

And I honestly think she's perfect for this kind of work. Kahit lagi kaming nagkakabanggaan sa maraming bagay, my respect for her didn't falter.

"Am I seeing the Maria Eula being defeated by a project?"

May panunukso ang tono niya, but everyone in the office knew that if there's someone who can wing any interview, that would be me.  "There's no way."

Her smile widen. She really knows how to get me moving. Because I  hate losing. I hate the feeling of defeat and self-pity. But am I seriously worrying about my pride right now than my sanity?

Lumabas ako sa office after the conversation. And even though it's basically my day-off, nagtungo ako sa desk ko para kunin ang ilang files na iuuwi ko.

"Swerte naman," ngiti ni Mara sa kabilang desk sabay tulak ng swivel chair para lumapit sa'kin. "You have free access to Saint Claire's recording studio."

I sighed as an answer.

"Their music is good, you know? And I've heard they're quite a good looking group. Panay nga ang bida ng studio intern kanina sa baba. Gwapo ba talaga?"

Ngumiwi ako. "Good looking my ass."

Well, actually they are, if I would be honest. Each of them have  different charm that can cater to different audience. Umirap agad ako sa naisip. Basta, hindi sila gwapo!

Why is my pride so high anyway? If I only suck it up and admit my defeat against this project, I didn't have to be the one to go to the studio for the interview. But hell no, I would never let anyone get in my head again.

Matapos makuha ang mga kailangan kong files, umalis din agad ako sa building. It's still my day-off anyway. There's no way I would let the situation ruin my day.

I slid inside my mini cooper at the basement parking lot, checked the compartment for my Dior lipgloss, adjusted the rear view mirror and applied gloss on my puckered lips.

I drove off the building with a lively song playing from the speakers. Nang sa wakas sumagot ang tinatawagan ko, the song mellowed down until I heard Kayla's voice from the earpiece.

"What?"

"Good morning to you, too, Kayla."

My greeting was only answered by a frustrated groan. She was never a morning person.

"Let go shopping today."

"It's not even a weekend."

"So?" That's the point of malls being open on weekdays... so everyday can be a day of shopping.

"Hindi ako pwede," muttered Kayla from the other side of the line. Seriously, she sounded so stressed and tired. Maybe I can schedule a spa-day for both of us- wait, what?

"What do you mean hindi pwede?"

"I'm on my way to meet Christian."

Bumalik ang init ng ulo ko. Her son of a bitch boyfriend is really  getting on my nerves for constantly stealing Kayla from me. And ew, kung sino pa ang may biblical names sila pa ang tarantado.

Bumusina ako sa sasakyang nag-overtake sa harapan ko bago binalik  ang atensyon sa kausap ko. "For what?"

"Magkikita lang kami before he head to Baguio for work."

"Himala," I retorted with sarcasm. "I thought that guy was too busy to see his girlfriend?"

I gave emphasis to the word girlfriend. Paano ba naman, the guy wasn't around most of the time, making his work in finance as an excuse.  Hello, sa Bulacan lang siya nagw-work pero kung makipagkita siya kay Kayla, once every two weeks? Not that I'm complaining since I really don't want him for Kayla. But I've witnessed my best friend suffer from doubts and insecurities because of it.

And now, he's gonna be assigned in Baguio? I'm sure he would act like he's outside the country or something. Iniisip ko palang naiinis na ako para kay Kayla.

"He might want to break up..."

Kayla's words were barely audible. Para bang matagal na itong nakasiksik sa isipan niya and facing it and letting it out made her voice shaky and weak.

Kinailangan kong itigil ang sasakyan sa gilid ng daan para mapakinggan siyang mabuti. "Kayla..."

"I just... I can feel it..." she mumbled again. "He's gonna end this..."

"Kayla..." I heard shuffling from the other line and a door opening.

"I have to go. Pupuntahan ko pa siya sa Bulacan."

"Ikaw pa ang pupunta?" singhal ko. Bwisit talaga ang lalakeng 'yon! "Can you drive all the way there?"

"Yes, don't worry."

I took a sharp breath para kumalma, dahil kung hindi, baka may maisumpa akong nilalang. "Tell me everything after your meeting, okay? I'll head to your condo when you're back."

I remained hesitant after the call ended. The lively music filled the car once again. But I lowered the volume and sighed. I don't feel like shopping anymore.

Instead of the mall, I went to the nearest multi-brand concept store in BGC on my way home. The sleek uniformed lady greeted me at the  door. I walked around the shop, with its gray marble floor and black modern shelving, staring blankly at the rare luxury finds of bags and shoes.

"What are you looking for, Ma'am?"

"I'm not sure..."

I browsed through the items. The tiny hand bags displayed on a giant sculptured hand made of granite, shoes from my favorite brands displayed on floating shelves. By as minutes passed, it was clear that I was only here to escape.

Deciding to just head home, I walked out of the shop in time to see familiar faces. Otomatikong tumigil ako sa paglalakad. Ngumiti ang  babae saka tinawag ang pangalan ko.

"Eula."

This made the man beside him turned to my direction. My toes curled inside my shoes upon seeing his face. Bumaling siya sa shop kung saan ako galing. Alam ko na agad kung ano ang iniisip niya.

"Hi," I tried to greet the two of them when they approached me. "Elaine, Dad..."

As usual, hindi sumagot si Dad. I don't even know why both of them  are in this area. Si Elaine maiintindihan ko dahil may shop siyang  pagaari sa lugar na ito, but Dad usually stays in Quezon City where his company is located.

"Your father just had a meeting nearby. Why don't you join us for lunch?"

Elaine is ever pleasant. She's a gorgeous middle age woman, petite with  a Chinese ancestry. While Dad, he's tall, squared jaw and has the  emotion of a rock.

"I'm on my way home so there's no need," I tried to say.

"Join us." It wasn't even an offer coming from Dad. It was a demand.

For a reason, whenever I'm in front of them, para bang ang liit ng tingin ko sa sarili ko. All of my achievements, the things I've overcome, the strong personality I've created as wall to protect myself, they don't matter.

We all headed to an Asian restaurant where the owner himself, who happens to be Elaine's colleague, seated us to a private table several  feet away from other guests.

I noticed how Dad pulled the seat for Elaine before both of them were seated opposite from me on the table. He never did that gesture to Mom or to me.

"Are you out here shopping?" asked Elaine with a smile.

"Not really."

I was silent the entire time. Elaine tried to initiate small talks but I just didn't have the energy to reciprocate. So I faced my food, took a few bites and wished the meal would end.

"Shopping in a luxury shop on a weekday..." Dad grunted in the middle of the meal.

I had to force the food down my throat. It's starting. Whenever we see each other, Dad always make it a point to point my failures and undesirable actions. That's why I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells whenever he's around.

I remained calm and managed to smile at his direction. "I earn my own money so I get to spend it on my own terms."

"As if your salary in that company can provide for your lifestyle. Without your mother's inheritance-"

I put the steel chopsticks down on the table so loud the people from the nearest table cast glances in our direction. "You know what? You're right."

I stood up and grabbed my hand bag.

"Where are you going?"

"I have work to do to provide for my expensive lifestyle," I gave emphasis to every word. "Excuse me and enjoy your meal."

I walked away from the table, from the look of disappointment on their faces, from the restaurant full of people who I wonder how many of them were perfect looking from the outside, but with a train wreck for a household.

My fingers trembled, my breathing quick, steps rushed. This is so not okay. I'm being an ungrateful bitch. But damn, I hate it. I hate it so  much.

--

That evening, I stared the city skyline from my window, the tiny glimmering lights from buildings and dots of red lights from the busy roads.

I just had two glasses of red wine, with a third glass in my hand. Today had been draining. After taking a sip, I checked my phone. Kayla had texted me earlier that she was back in her condo. But she wasn't answering my calls. I wonder what happened to her talk with the  asshole.

Out of nowhere, my phone dings. It was a text from an unknown number.

Eula.

That's it. Nothing else. I don't usually reply to unknown numbers so I placed my phone back on the table and stood up. I swayed a little,  feeling the effect of three glasses of wine as I walk to put the glass on  the sink.

I went back to the window to close the curtains and grab my phone when another message popped up.

Can you give me another chance?

//