Part 19:

Flashback

I stared at the glass of tequila in front of me. It's as if the liquid was swirling even though the glass was placed on the flat bar counter. I  must be really drunk.

I felt the swell on my cheek still red from the slap upon sighing. I was also wearing my university jacket because it was the only thing I pulled from my drawer when I left the house. At least it was enough to cover  my bruises.

I took a long gulp of the tequila, feeling the liquor blaze up my throat. Today was one of the rare instances I was glad Kayla was with her boyfriend because I didn't want her to see this fucking mess.

My phone vibrated from the counter, telling me that someone from the house was calling. Inabot ko ito agad at pinatay ang phone ko. Dad  must have asked the housekeeper to know my whereabouts because I barely tell him things.

Funny how we're living in the same house but we're basically strangers. After all, the only thing that's keeping Dad from filing the annulment  was Mom's threat of hurting herself... or me.

What Dad didn't know is every time he do shit that triggers Mom, the person who receives the blow, the guilt, the gaslighting, was her little angel. I begged him so many times not to trigger Mom.

With swaying gaze, I raised a hand to order another drink. But a hand pulled my arm down. I stared up at the person standing beside the bar stool. Tilting my head, I started to wonder if what I was seeing was hallucination.

Sancho... why is he front of me?

Sancho approached the owner of the bar standing on the side of the counter. "Thanks for letting me know."

What are they even talking about? I raised my hand again to order another drink but the bartender in front of me was acting like I wasn't there.

I scoffed. What? I'm the only costumer remaining tonight. It's not like I'm not gonna pay.

"Eula..."

Sancho came back to my side. I stared amusingly at his scrunched forehead and the frown on his lips, before tilting my head to the side because of how queasy I feel.

"I'll drive you home."

Home. The word triggered an automatic response in the midst of my drunken state. Inalalayan ako ni Sancho para tumayo but I pulled  myself away from him.

"No."

"Eula..."

With my cold trembling hands, I stepped down the stool. "No... I... I can't go home..." I stepped away from Sancho with evident fright in  my eyes.

"But--"

Bigla siyang natigilan nang may mapansin. Napatitig siya sa braso ko kung saan nalislis ang jacket na suot ko. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at agad inayos ang pagkakasuot nito. Hindi ko magawang huminga nang maayos habang nakatitig siya sa'kin.

"Who did that to you?"

I pulled the sleeves until they cover my entire body. "It's nothing... I..."

Isang bakal na kamay ang umiipit sa aking dibdib. I clasped my chest, desperate to breathe air. Inalalayan ako ni Sancho umupo sa kalapit na couch.

"I'm sorry..."

I stared up at his face. Maging siya hindi alam ang gagawin. He sat  beside me on the couch, caressing my back to calm me down. "I'm sorry..." muli niyang sinabi. "Hindi na kita pipiliting umuwi. Walang masamang mangyayari sa'yo. Nandito ako."

His arm pulled me to his chest in a warm, tight embrace.

"Sancho..." I whispered against the fabric of his shirt. "I'm scared to sleep. When I close my eyes... I get to face my fears. It's like they're waiting for me to be surrounded by darkness before they attack. Silly, right?"

He brushed the side of my face, tucking the strands of my hair behind  my ear.

"It's so scary..." I mumbled, eyelids heavy but refusing to close my  eyes. It's been like this for several nights now. "I'd rather not sleep at all."

"Do they attack you in your sleep?"

Humigpit ang pagkakahawak ng palad ko sa kanyang likod. "One  time... I woke up in the middle of the night just to see her standing by  the bed, trying to tuck me in like a child. If I don't let her, she'll hit me with her fist or slap me with her palms. She has long nails and they scratch my face sometimes. But it's okay. I'm her little angel. I should never ever leave her side..."

Humigpit ang pagkakayakap ni Sancho sa'kin.

"Sancho..." I whispered once again. "Will you let me sleep?"

Gently, he pulled me down and rested my head against his lap. I lay on my side against the leather couch. There was barely any noise surrounding us except from the counter where the bartender was  cleaning the glasses. I wonder what time is it... or if the bar is already closed for the night.

Slowly, I closed my eyes as I drifted to sleep.

"I won't let anyone hurt you... so go to sleep, Eula."

--

I woke up with a thin blanket wrapped around me and pillow on both sides keeping me curled up. The sheets smelt of unfamiliar laundry detergent and the room remained dark.

A digital clock in the corner stated that it was only four in the morning. I sat up from the bed and immediately regretted the sudden movement when my head started to do a somersault, causing the entire room to  spin. My breath smells like tequila!

In the middle of my disarrayed thoughts, I noticed something in the  dark tiny room. Someone in a white shirt and gray pajama was sleeping on the floor.

I nearly gasp. Wait... what? I stared around the dark room once again, then back on the sleeping guy on the floor. Why is Sancho sleeping on  the floor? Am I in his room?

I rocked my brain for answers. I do remember him arriving at the bar  and yes, falling asleep on his lap. But how did I get here?

Natigilan ako sa pag-iisip nang marahang gumalaw si Sancho. He groaned and shifted his body on the cold floor. He didn't even have a pillow, just a thin blanket between him and the floor.

I pulled one of the pillows and stepped out of the bed. I sat on the floor beside where he is. Bago ibigay ang unan sa kanya, hindi ko napigilang titigan ang natutulog niyang mukha. I have never seen him this defenseless, his face with no expression other than calmness.

I tried my best not to wake him up as I carefully place the pillow under his head. Pero pareho kaming natigilan nang bigla siyang magmulat ng mga mata.

We stared at each other and I immediately felt the need to explain. "Ah, I just..."

He stared at me, eyes still sleepy and a bedhead of a hair. I almost stumbled on the floor next to him nang bigla siyang bumangon para umupo.

"Hindi ka makatulog? May kailangan ka ba?"

Nanatili akong nakatitig sa kanya. My chest kept rising and falling underneath the unfamiliar oversize shirt. But this time... this breathlessness was for an entirely different reason.

I knew I was sober... I knew because it was the clearest, most logical thought in my head.

I was no longer a fan... I'm in love with Sancho, the guitarist of  Saint Claire.

***