Zoe's POV:

A few weeks later, things at school become normal. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Most people understand, after a long conversation with the cheerleaders, I believe that things should be back to normal in no time. As for my studies, I'm all caught up, luckily, a few days ago, I picked up all my makeup work and looked over it. My grades are close to how they were before so I'm feeling much better, my anxiety about school is lessening.

The only thing that I can't seem to understand is why Peter has been out of school so long. I haven't seen him, I haven't gotten any phone calls or texts. It's not like him to just ignore me. I ask everyone at school if they've heard anything but they don't know anymore than I do.

There are a few things I'm going through that I can't discuss with my mom because she'd probably be so angry. Specifically seeing Elliot again.

But hey, the truth always comes out, doesn't it? I've got to tell her sooner or later.

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Olivia's POV:

It was a huge relief for Zoe to tell me that things at schoo are going...well.
I was uneasy about her going back, but she brought up being confident in herself, which also helped me relax. A few days after she's back into school, I start bringing her in to her psychiatrist every few days. Even though she's been talking to her shrink and has been in school, I feel like there are things she's not telling me.

"So, do you want to go out to eat after this visit?"I ask Zoe, as she lies down in the back seats of the car, exhausted after her day at school.

"No, I'm so tired, could we just go home after?"she says with a whisper, slowly drifting back off to sleep.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever you want."I say, looking arty my watch. We might be late.

Once we arrive at the doctor's, I try and wake Zoe up, she gets pretty cranky and curls up into a ball next to the window.

"Come on, you're going to be late."I open the car door and tug on her arm. She steps out of the car, and with her head on my shoulder, we walk slowly into the office.

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Zoe's POV:

I'm in Dr. Robbin's office and she's yapping on about something while I stare off into space at the windows. I'm not sure if I'm genuinely uninterested, or just trying not to doze off right in front of her face. I'm exhausted.

"Zoe? Did you hear me?"she says, which makes me snap out of my imagination.

"No."I respond quickly, opening my eyes wide to focus them on her.

"What's going on?"she asks, crossing her right leg, over her left.

"Nothing, you know how it is sometimes when you're just...tired. I've been doing a lot in school and a lot of out of school."I say, holding my chin up with my fist.

"Yeah, I get it. Do you feel like it's going to be a problem all the time? "

"Well, no. Things just become more stressful when..."

"When, what?"I remain silent for a long moment because I don't want to say something I'll regret.

"When I have to keep secrets...I mean, its not exactly the biggest deal, but to my mother, it might be."

"Can you tell me the secret?"she asks, leaning in close to me. I smirk at her and decide to tell her, its not like she can tell Mom anyways.

"Ok...a few weeks ago, a very, very close family friend came to visit me. It was my mothers old partner. He told me he wanted to apologize after leaving and not ever calling her. He wants another chance with her. A real chance with her. But I'm afraid that she's going to make the mistake of not forgiving him."

"How long did he leave her hanging?"

"About four or five years or so. No calls, no texts, no visits."

"Then why would it be a mistake for her to not forgive him?"

"Because they love each other. They always have. Once you get another shot at real love, you've got to take it."

"What do you know about love?"

"I don't know much...but I have to believe my mother loves my father. She'll always love him although he cheated on her. I mean, she won't love him like she did when they were together, but she would care if something happened to him...she'd be devastated."I tell her, trying to untangle my thoughts on what I believe goes through my mother's heart.

"And what about her old partner? How does she love him?"

"My mother doesn't know she loves him. I mean, really. She doesn't know because she was never able to. She was never able to reach past the friend zone. There was always a boss, or a wife, or some other stupid reason why they couldn't be together. When he left, so did a piece of her. I mean, she's the same Olivia Benson, just minus some."

"I mean, I guess you have to help her understand what she'll be missing out on."

"I know, but things aren't up to me anymore. Like, yeah, Elliot came to me first, but if he really wanted to step up to my mother, he would've talked to her already."I say crossing my arms and shaking my head in disapproval of his strange actions.

"He'll be ready soon. I mean, if you say there bond was that strong. He's coming back."she says nodding her head with a smile. "So, I believe that's all the time we have today. I think you're making a lot of progress lately. I'll see you next week alright?"she says with a huge smile, I shake her hand and exit her office.

Mom is outside in the waiting room when I return. I really don't know if I want to talk about the session or not, so I just decide its best for her not to know.

"You sure you still don't want to go out for some food? I have to head back to work now. I'll drop you off at home."

"Uh, no. I'm ok, Mom. I'll just eat something at home."I tell her, not in the mood for an engaged conversation. Lord knows there's a part of me that acts like my father when I have a big secret. I crack under pressure, if I get the chance, I'll say too much.

"Well, ok."she says, and starts heading home.

When we get there, I get out of the car quickly and rush into the house.

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Amanda's POV:

I'm woken up by the ring of my cellphone. It's Fin, he tells me to meet Olivia at the hospital. I drive over quickly from my apartment, my head pounding. I need to stop drinking.

"Hey, Amanda."says Olivia as she spots me walking in.

"Hey."I respond back, not knowing if my breath reeked of alcohol. I'm definitely not drunk just hungover.

"Sunglasses?"

"Sunglasses."I respond with a sigh, I take a few sips from my water bottle, I need to stay hydrated.

"Long night?"

"Isn't it always when you're working SVU?"I say with a smirk.

"You've got that right."she says, and let's it go.

"So what happened to her?"I asked, peeking in.

"Beat up at school by some girl's, they literally threw her down the stairs after they were done with her."

"Wow. When I was a teen, getting beat up was a black eye and a lesson. Not a hospital visit and the memory of being thrown down a flight of stairs."

"Same for me, never let anyone beat on me. You better believe Olivia Benson put up a fight."

"Oh, I know she did." I say, which makes us both laugh.

"Okay, back to business. The girls name is Katherine Harris she's fifteen. Father is on his way."

"Okay, let's go."I say, and we enter the room.

A girl with pale skin and red hair, obviously in her teenage years looks over at us.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?"she says, and I could see the flashes of fear in her eyes.

"We're from the Special Victims Unit. We're here to talk to you about what happened at school."

"No. I'm not talking to you guys about that. Are you crazy?"she says, turning away from us.

"Please, Katherine. We're not going to be able to help you if we don't know what happened."says Olivia, softly.

"I don't know! One minute I'm in the bathroom washing my hands and the next, all those girls are hitting me."she said sobbing, wiping her tears.

"Do you know who they were? Like specifically. Or why they would do this?"I ask, walking in to the room more.

"No! Look, I'm done talking, ok? I need to see my father."she says rudely, and I can tell that there's more to it than she says. I know she's lying about something.

"Kat, are you alright?"I hear a worried voice behind myself, the man excuses himself and moves past me.

"What happened to you?"he says sadly, taking her hand. Her father seems to understand the extent of her injuries more than she does. So I know he doesn't know about what she's hiding.

"I don't remember, ok? But I'll be fine. I swear."

"I can't just let this go, you have to talk to the police. They're here for a reason."he says, unconvinced that she's ok.

"I don't remember who did what. I swear that when I remember something, I'll call them."she says looking over at us, and we take that as a cue to leave.

"Uh, here's my card. If anything, call this number."I tell her, I hand her my card and we both walk out.

"How do we know this isn't a waste of our time?"I say shaking my head, I just feel like there's more to it.

"What's the problem? Kat said she'll call when she remembers something. It won't be long."

"Kat's not fessing up. I've done this long enough to know that girls like her, don't come around. She's lying about something."

"I've been doing this for a long time too, alright? Believe me. Trust me. Give her a chance."

"She doesn't want one, Olivia. Look, the doctor explained to us that there was no neurological damage done during the assault. She can think clearly, she knows what she's saying is untrue."

"Look, we're not here to determine what's up in a victim's head. We're here to comfort, to bring closure. We're not shrinks, we don't share our opinions. Our conclusions are based on facts. On evidence. So if you can prove she's lying about something, then prove it. But prove it with facts, not feelings."she says to me sharply, I take that and replay it in my head over and over again. I have to prove it. I can prove it.

"Okay, Sergeant."I say meekly, and we head back to our cars. Luckily, I'm not riding with her, I won't have to sit in for the awkward silence.

When I get back to the precinct, I manage to finish up most of the paperwork I was backed up on. I'm halfway through eating lunch when I get a call from Zoe.

"Hello? Amanda."she says to me frantically, and automatically I become worried.

"I'm here. Are you alright?"I say quickly, sitting up more in my chair.

"No. I'm just stuck. Stuck on everything. I've just--I've told so many lies lately that I don't know what's true anymore. And the one person that I can talk to, won't pick up the phone, won't text me back. So what's the point of...anything?"she says quickly, her voice quivering.

I get up and lock myself in the bathroom.

"You can't talk like that. Don't get caught up in everything. Have fun. Don't waste precious time being dependent on other people. I mean, if there's no one there to help you, it means you can only help yourself. Do it."

"I'm trying to help myself. And I can't breathe. I can't be happy, I don't have happy thoughts."

"Then let life be your happy thought. Be happy that you're alive. Be happy that you weren't Lucy. It's your life that's still on earth, do something with it."

"You know how this feels, huh? I mean, you've had to. But I don't think you've had anyone talk to you the way you just did too me. So thank you. And be safe. I love you, Amanda."I start to cry, because there's nothing that she said that wasn't wrong.

"I love you too, kid. I'll talk to you later, I've got things to finish up. Talk to your mother when she gets home. She needs to know how you feel."

"Okay. Bye."she says, and I hang up. I walk over to the mirror and look at myself. How did I let myself go? I can't drink anymore, I can't gamble anymore. I need a reason to wake up every morning. I can't be stuck in this black hole praying for someone to pull me out, I need to dust myself off and keep on walking.

I'm changing...for myself this time.

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Hey guys! Excuse me for being gone so long. I've had the worst writers block. Plus the holidays have been so hectic. I'll be sure to try and stay active, and hopefully you'll get more frequent updates. I have been working on another SVU fanfic that I may be releasing soon, so stay tuned.

xox