EVENTUALLY

IF LOVE WOULD HAVE SAVED HER, SHE COULD'VE LIVED FOREVER.

But love wasn't there, love had left her behind. No, love didn't save her, love left her drowning in her own tears when it got hard at three in the morning. Love had forgotten her, turned away from her and made her pick up the pieces of her broken heart by herself. So she feels the emptiness weighing her down every day. She feels the dread, the loneliness; it's heavy like an anchor, like lead is sitting on her shoulders. It feels like she's dying, like her world has finally kneeled down, and is finally giving up.

But a smile is still pulling at her lips when she steps into the school the next morning. She had woken up in a good mood when she rolled out of bed and everything is looking brighter. Immediately when she sees a tall blond she knows as Mason Palmer, she takes out an earphone, turns down her music a bit, and flails out her arms for a hug. Steel eyes smile down at her, and he laughs softly as he pulls her into his arms. "Hey gorgeous." He says grinning to himself, and after a moment, they pull away.

Mason knows that Amanda Andrews is one of the most insecure girls a person will ever come across, but she will never admit it. She thinks everything about her is either unattractive, or she simply hates the aspect about herself. Even her personality, she despises. She hates how quiet she gets, how socially awkward she is around people she isn't comfortable with, how nervous the smallest things will make her. She loathes her bright red curls, her plain brown eyes, her sticky pale skin. 

"Good morning." She replies happily as they begin to walk to class. Mason and Amanda met on a sunny day during the first week of school. They share similar classes and when he saw her, he thought she was cute, made up a funny pick - up line and told it to her. She had laughed, thinking that he was just messing around and wanted to be friends. He's a sophomore, tall with short cut hair, tan skin, platinum eyes, and is always wearing a sweatshirt that is white and navy with PALMER written on the back of it. 

One thing to know about Amanda Andrews, is that she is the brightest person in the room, while everyone else is sitting in darkness. Yes, she is highly intelligent, but she has a bubbly personality that is completely contagious to others around her. But no one seems to notice her.

Mason playfully takes off her beanie and ruffles up her hair. She laughs as he hands it back to her, "What's got you in such a good mood? Alexander finally make a move?" He guesses, tilting his head toward her and raising his eyebrows playfully. Mason has known about Alexander for a while now, and is also good friends with him. 

The ginger fixes her hair and plops her beanie back on her head. She glances over at him for a moment before quickly looking away. She can feel a slight pain in her chest, but she brushes it off, "nah, you know he doesn't have feelings for me. I'm just having a really good day." She says, shrugging her shoulders. He throws an arm over her shoulder, and they keep talking as they walk to their first class of the day.

They sit at a table together as the teacher rolls around the room, handing out pieces of paper. Lieutenant West is paralysed from the waist down, but he doesn't seem to mind it at all. He's very funny and loves to pick on the students. He was a firefighter before he had to climb an eighteen foot ladder with no one at the bottom. He fell off, and shattered different parts of his spine. It happened about four years ago, and he has no problem talking about it. Although people are too scared to ask.

As Amanda takes a sheet of paper from the older, frail man, something catches her eye. She looks over to the doorway and in walks one of the guys she had met yesterday. His name was.. Amanda thinks for a moment, oh! Chase. He's wearing a grey and black jacket, a blue shirt, some joggers, and a pair of converse. He has some teal headphones in his ears and he's looking down at his phone. He looks up for a second and they meet eyes. She smiles a little and gives a small wave. He does the same.

...

AMANDA SLIPS HER EARPHONES BACK IN.

As class comes to an end, she starts to pack her things. The bell rings above her, and everyone begins to file out of the room. She swings her backpack over her shoulder as she tells Mason she'll see him later. He gives her a hug and says, "Later, Mandy." And then she starts to walk out the door of the classroom.

The ginger also makes a move to leave, but stops when she hears her name. "Amanda." She twists around quickly to see Chase catching up to her, his backpack bouncing as he speed walks. When he reaches her, she takes out an earphone and raises an eyebrow in a curious manner. "Hey, do you wanna hang out with me at break?" He asks.

She's surprised by his offer but quickly replaces her confused frown with a bright smile, "Sure, yeah." She gestures in front of her, "Lead the way." She moves her hand to her back pocket, where her phone sits, and turns her music down a bit. 

Her feet echo as they pad against the tile floor. Chase turns to her with a grin, "so, how's your morning been?" he asks. 

Amanda shrugs, "eh, it's been fine. uneventful, but fine. I mean, West's class is all boring and such, and then I've got career prep after this, so ya know, just boring. Nothing exciting happening." She replies, remembering that it's a Thursday. Amanda pushes her glasses back up her nose before they fall off. Then she asks, "How was yours?"

Chase nods his head, "I see. Mine was pretty good, but ya know, kinda boring as well." 

As Amanda and Chase walk to the cafeteria, the ginger catches Alexander's eye. He's out in the break area. He runs a hand though his raven coloured hair, distracted for a moment. He suddenly catches her eye and she feels a magnetic pull to him. She grimaces as she turns to Chase, and stops walking, "Hey, I'm really sorry, but I forgot that I've got someone to talk to." She feels bad for bailing on him. She tilts her head and pushes up the frame of her glasses. 

Chase looks disappointed, but tries not to show it, "nah, it's alright. I'll see you tomorrow anyway, yeah?" He says, referring to P.E.

She lights up, "Of course, see you later!" She responds, and turns on her heel toward the break area. She slips her headphones under her grey sweatshirt so they can hang against the collar. The ginger walks up to a tall black haired boy, "Hey Brandon." she greets. 

He turns to her with a bright smile, "what's up Mandy?" He throws an arm over her shoulder as she pulls him into a hug. When they pull away, Amanda tells him that she's doing good, just the same ole, same ole. 

She tries not to pay attention to Alexander standing somewhat beside her. She tries not to think about it, or the memories that suddenly flood her mind. She remembers his hug, how he kissed her, how he held her hand and his voice when he told her he loved her. 

Just then, Alexander finally sees her. He turns toward her and tilts his head, "Hey Manda." he says, his lips pulling into a smile. For a moment, she can't speak. She tries to say something, but her mouth won't work. His eyebrows draw together jokingly, "come on, aren't you gonna give me a hug? I've really missed you, Manda." he smiles teasingly, slightly laughing. 

Amanda completely lights up. Her eyes grow a shade brighter, her lips pull into a big smile. He wants to hug her. He wants to hug her. She thinks about all those other hugs they've shared through the past four years of knowing each other. She remembers how warm and safe she has felt every time. His voice is still that deep, husky kind of sound that she has always admired, and that laugh that she just can't get enough of.

Alexander has always been one of those quiet people, that is always thinking too much. He's also an artist. He likes to draw people. He used to draw Amanda, especially when she wasn't looking. But he'd always show her afterwards; she always thought they were beautiful, even though she thought she herself, was ugly.

Those are three other reasons why Amanda fell in love with Alex. They're so alike. They're both quiet, over - thinkers, and they both love art. But the main reason why - or more so how - she fell in love with him, was because she had never seen someone so beautiful. She has never met anyone like him. And she knows she never will meet someone like him. He's one of kind, and she wants him all to herself.

Over the summer, they've had many late night conversations. He would always talk about the stars. He reminds her of the stars, because he is the moon. He is her moon. He lights up the veil of darkness in her world; he holds a crescendo of stars.

He has the arms she wants to be wrapped in, the smile she wants to see everyday of her life, the lips she wants to kiss, the eyes she wants to look into, the voice she wants to listen to for hours and hours, the laugh that she can never resist and the heart that she has fallen in love with.

Amanda feels butterflies erupt in her stomach as she puts her arms out for a hug. But his blue eyes laugh at her. He chuckles, "I was just kidding, Amanda. Geez." He says, stepping away from her with a shake of his head. His hair falls into his eyes, and then he turns away from her.

She feels the all to familiar sting in her chest. She lets her arms fall limply at her side as her smile drops. She looks down at her shoes and begins to walk away. Her bottom lip starts to quiver and she feels like she's going to cry. Humiliation starts to settle in. Tears build up in her eyes, she sniffles, and her cheeks burn a scarlet red. She brushes her hair out of her eyes before putting the sleeve of her sweatshirt and wiping a falling tear, that has turned an inky black from her mascara.

She feels a breeze of cold air as she walks back into the building, feeling as if her heart is ripping at the seams. She lets out a breath of air as she pulls her lips into a smile and lifts her hand to wipe another tear that spills over and rolls down her cheek. She sniffles again.

His words echo, "I was just kidding, Amanda. Geez." It reminds her of that voice he made one night when she tried to call him. But he didn't answer, so she sent him a text. He called her an hour later and told her he didn't want to talk to her and that she was annoying. He hung up then, and she cried herself to sleep.

Her smile drops for a moment. Her breathing deepens, the feeling of suffocating slowly creeping up her neck and swallowing her. She can feel the pain running through her and spreading through her body like a tidal wave. Her knees feel weak. She wants to curl up into a little ball and cry. Crying is her only type of relief. 

Amanda puts in her headphones as she starts to smile again. It's that smile where you know it's fake; that smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes, nor does it create those little wrinkles on the upper sides of her cheeks.

And then she remembers, that he is just like autumn.

He is a constant reminder of how beauty can mask wickedness. How sometimes, he's warm and bright and glowing and then other times he's cold and dark and she can swear you could see the ice in his heart through his eyes. He was beautiful, yes, but he was just like autumn because autumn is when everything is dying. And he was dead inside. No emotion, no feeling.. 

No nothing.

A/N

Hey guys! The second chapter done! Tell me what you think and vote if you enjoyed. And stay amazing! *Sent with a hug*