EVENTUALLY

AMANDA'S THIRD PERIOD WAS BORING AS USUAL.

It's a fresh Thursday morning and she just got dismissed from career prep, which is a class getting her ready and making sure she knows what path she's taking in the future. Amanda is extremely smart, book smarts are where her intellect stands. But she doesn't have a lot of options. She once wanted to be a cardiovascular surgeon, but when she realised how much schooling she would have to do, she pushed the idea to the side.

Although now, she's done her research on the FBI and is thinking that might be her way to go. Specifically the BAU. A show called Criminal Minds was what made her fascinated with the occupation. She likes the idea of studying human behaviour, and being a strong empath, she feels like she would love the job.

Amanda nods her head to the beat of the music thats playing in her headphones, starting to rub her thumbs under the straps of her backpack as she scans the crowded hall. As she does, she spots a familiar mop of dark brown hair. A few feet in front of her is Simon striding out of his classroom. She starts to smile as she begins to walk over to him, "Hey." She says, a shy grin on her lips, taking her headphones out and stuffing them in her pocket.

He peers down at her, surprise evident on his features, "Oh, hey Amanda." He responds, "Where'd you come from?" he asks curiously, tilting his head a bit.

She shrugs, "Career prep. You?"

"Math." He shrugs as well, "I hate it." He says with angry expression, but it's playful, "I mean, when the hell am I going to use any of it. It's not like I'm gonna get pulled over by a cop and he's gonna ask me, 'Listen, I would totally give you a ticket, but I need you to solve this math problem for me first.' It's ridiculous!" He tells her in a joking voice.

Taxes, prolly, she thinks to herself but instead of voicing it, she raises her eyebrows slightly and looks up at him, "Are you not good at it or..?"

"I'm terrible at it, I'm really bad at understanding it and my teachers never take the time to actually show me how to do it to where I'm able to get it. I'm just really bad at interpreting what they say. Not only that, it's super boring and makes it even more of a hassle to learn; I'm more of an english lit type of guy." He tells her.

"I took advanced math in seventh grade and Mr. Reetz taught me everything I would learn from then to a junior, so I'm good, but I do prefer English lit over math too. I think that it's boring unless you understand what you're doing; I mean, even if you do know what you're doing, I still find it pretty boring." Then, she gets an idea, "Ya know.. I could prolly help you? If you want to? I've tutored a lot of students in my classes." she suggests.

"Wow, just lookin' for more ways to spend time with me, huh?" He grins.

She laughs in response, "Damn, you caught me." She says, holding her hands up in defence.

"Also, I texted Chase and asked him where we're sitting and since it's not raining, we're gonna sit outside. Do you wanna sit with us?" He asks, hopeful. She thinks for a second before nodding her head, she honestly didn't think he would offer, or even want her around. "Great, you're also gonna meet one of our other idiot friends named Eric, but we usually call him Gnome cause he's all short and stubby." He says, they laugh together.

When they get the cafeteria, they get their lunches and then head outside. Chase, who she assumes is Eric and Rodrigo are already sitting there, devouring their food. Amanda sits in between Simon and Chase, Rodrigo and Eric are across from her. Amanda and Eric quickly exchange greetings, turns out he's a sophomore too. He has dark eyes, black glasses and dark skin along with pitch black hair, and he reaches her shoulders in height.

And then her attention is stolen by Rodrigo as he pulls a gum stick from his pocket and hands it to Eric, "Amanda, I'll give you a dare," He tells her in a rough voice, "and someone in the group has to fill in the blank." He opens the gum stick and then looks at it, "Okay, here's your dare: wear a fake blank all day." Gnome instructs.

Chase looks at her quickly, "wear a fake dick all day." He jokes, but his expression is serious.

"Alright," she shrugs, glancing over at him, "give me yours."

The entire group bursts into a fit of laughter. She looks around and sees everyone wheezing, Simon is holding his stomach and even Rodrigo is somewhat laughing. She and Simon meet eyes. She smiles, chuffed. Amanda actually feels like she's apart of this group, like she belongs somewhere.

From beside her, Chase chuckles as well, "Okay, I'll give you that one, that was good." He says as everyone continues to laugh.

"What can I say?" Amanda shrugs, grinning.

"Yeah, that had some damn good timing." Simon chimes in.

Chase rolls his eyes, "Anyway," He says, changing the subject, trying to keep the last bit of dignity he has, "so, Amanda, what grade were in when you started going to this shitty school?" Chase asks, tilting his head. She notices that he mimics a lot of Simon's behaviour, not only when talking, but also how he moves.

His tone of voice makes her laugh a bit, and then she remembers a picture of her back in elementary school; a picture so embarrassing, it makes her cheeks turn pink, "Um, first grade; although, I moved here from Andalusia when I was about four." She responds.

Simon's face twists in confusion, "Where's that at?" He asks her.

She shrugs, taking a bite of the boiled carrots she's having for lunch today. When she swallows, she continues, "Not far from here to be honest." She says, her voice brighter, "It's a small town, right near Opp, where I was born." The boys laugh at the name and she laughs along with them, "Yeah, I know, it's a weird name. When did you guys move here?"

"We've been going here for a long time, we just moved away for a bit, and then came back." Simon tells her.

Amanda can see a slight change in his eyes, and there's something in his voice. But she isn't going to it, "Why did you guys move back? This school sucks. We used to have those ridiculous uniforms, thank God we got rid of them. And then the teachers are pretty rude as well." Amanda says, shaking her head. Chase shrugs in response.

"I've been here since kindergarten, and I one hundred percent agree, the teachers fucking suck." Gnome says and they all laugh.

... ...

AMANDA RUBS HER TEMPLES SOFTLY.

She's in English Lit, taking a test. She finished about ten minutes ago, but no one else has gotten out of their seat to turn in their test, and not wanting to go in front of everyone and draw attention to herself, she's decided to stare at the paper and just wait for someone else. However, her class is full of people who either don't care or don't know what they're doing; so waiting for someone else to finish the test as fast as she did? She will be here another ten minutes.

At one point, she almost did get up to turn in the test. She actually moved her feet, but right when she was about to stand, her body wouldn't let her. So she just sits and waits, drowning in the ever growing silence of the classroom. It takes twelve minutes for someone to finally walk up to the front and hand Mr. Elting their test. Amanda is nervous as she stands to her feet and walks up to hand him hers.

As she walks back to her seat, she stubs her toe on one of the legs of the desks. Everyone looks up at the loud noise and she awkwardly looks down. Her toe is throbbing but she bites her lip and then continues walking. She quickly slides back down in her seat in order to avoid any more embarrassment.

One of the hardest things for Amanda has always been her ability to put herself out there, to bask in the spotlight. She likes to hide behind the curtain instead. That's why starting drama was so difficult. But slowly, she got comfortable with being someone else every time she got on the stage.

She's always been like this, even before Alex came along. She's always been an introverted person, very awkward and anti social. She's afraid of rejection of any sort, or any type of embarrassment. She's scared of what people will think, will say, will do. She doubts, hesitates, second guesses.

And that's why she's still so surprised that she was able to talk to Chase and Simon.

Normally, it's a bit easy for Amanda to strike up a conversation with a stranger, but keeping it going is the hard part. When there's silence, she can feel the awkward tension start to form and she doesn't know what to do with it or how to make it go away.

Amanda turns slightly and sees Alex and Mason at the back of the classroom, not too far from her. Sadness looms on Alex's features. His gaze is down at his shoes and his eyes seem vacant, the name Brooke slips through his lips. She turns away from them, and looks down at a new sketch but something catches her attention, "ya know, I actually thought she was the one." He says to Mason, his tone solemn. "It didn't even feel real until I saw her."

"Dude, Brooke wasn't a good person, she cheated. It was bound to end."

"I love her."

Amanda's lips part when she hears his voice crack. She winces, her own pain surfacing. It feels like someone has just strapped an anchor to her shoulders and then asked her to run a marathon. Amanda wants to ask him how it feels. How does it feel to have his heart broken by someone he trusted? How does it feel to have your dreams of a future with her crushed into a million pieces, Alex? How does it feel?

But Amanda bites her tongue. She glances his way silently and she sees his eyes go red and he rubs his nose, sniffling a bit. Tears break from his eyes and roll down his lightly freckled cheeks. He wipes them away quickly.

For Amanda, he was fire. He was bright, hot, flickering fire. She got close, felt the warmth it radiated on her heart, and wanted to touch it, but nobody told her that when you play with fire, you're bound to get burned.

Amanda had always wanted him to know how it felt. She had wanted him to feel the exact same way she had when he decided he didn't want her anymore. She always wanted him to feel the pain, the weight of it, just like she did. She wanted to see him break.

But now that it's happened, it breaks her.

She shakes her head and takes a deep breath, taking her headphones and putting them in her ears. She drowns in the beat, loses herself in the melody. It hurts, it still hurts, but not as it used to.

A/N

omg guys, happy new year! i hope you guys are going to have a good year and that we all grow! i cant wait, it's going to be a good one. anyway, thank you for reading. and thank you for everyone still here with this story! i love you all, hugs everywhere! - Mal