my hands ache to be calloused from monkey bars once again

those old frenemies of mine

cold hard metal that turns slick beneath sweating palms

excited

to move to the next bar and the next and the next

turning around once you've finished and going again

proud

egged on by the cheers of kids who marvel at your strength

heart thumping from something other than 

fear

but i am grown 

and grownups cannot play on playgrounds anymore