Type of Story: One Direction

Author: MrsHoran1197

Story Rating Estimation: PG-13

Reads: 1,522

Votes: 136

Comments: ...

Description: Have you ever thought if you had a long-lost twin. Well Ariana Payne has. She found out she had a twin when she was on a vacation. She found out the possibly worst way, over a phone call. Imagine how bad that must be. Anyway this is Ariana Payne's story.

Hi, my name is Ariana Payne. Let me tell you a little about myself. I have two best friends her name is Hazel and his name is Riley. I'm 16 and all my friends call me Ari for short. I have hazel eyes, long wavy, light brown hair, I'm about 5'7, and I have various talents. My nationalities are British, Irish, and a little bit of Spanish from my dad's side.

Suggested If: you wanna read a fic that's honestly hardly a 1D fic at all

My Review: So not only is the plot horribly clichè, it's also way more magcon than it is 1D. I can appreciate that the plot isn't going super fast, but she's basically being a hoe and throwing herself at all these other guys instead - plus she's honestly stupid if she doesn't see what Luke is trying to do, which is incredibly annoying. The chapter lengths are okay, but your grammar and spelling needs a lot of work. It's "through," not "thru," you NEED to learn how to write proper dialogue, and your sentences are very choppy and most don't flow together well at all. Overall, I definitely think this fic needs a lot of work.

Rating (0-5): 1, if that

Other Notes: Saying that Zayn is "basically dead to you," is stupidly immature. Congrats on throwing a temper tantrum over nothing