< k i m s e o k j i n >
[ 18 / 03 / 2017 ]

i still remember the sirens echoing all around us and the murmuring and the people who all just came to see the show. i remember how cold it was, it was so cold. the wind carried the scent of the ocean, no doubt miles beyond the port. i remember it all; the confusion, the revelation, the sadness, the tears — all.

at first, i just stood there in a daze as i unknowingly turned my camera towards him. the footage continued recording as i watched him climb onto the wooden, less than sturdy ladder that leads to the top of the structure. now that i think about it, it even looked like a diving board.

he just stood there, as if waiting. for what? I don't know. he was just there, waiting. he had this expression on his face, this expression of serenity, of wisdom. he looked — i don't know, i guess peaceful.

soon, all the others' attention too landed onto him. we didn't take it seriously, just shakily telling him to come down from that place from where we sat, at the edge of the harbor. we should have been more pressing. we should have stopped him. we — no, i should have.

because of my ignorance, my childish will to hold onto whatever broken relationships we all had, because of all that, i killed him.

i killed kim taehyung.

and because of that, i damaged all the others too.

"I want to see you." — entry two.

[ Will you come back if I close my eyes? ]
[ 내 눈을 감으면 다시 올거야? ]