don't go away like the rain | p a r t s i x

< k i m s e o k j i n >
[ 11 / 04 / 2015 ]

UPON ENTERING Apgujeong High School (압구정고등학교), Seokjin couldn't help but feel dazed as he walked closely behind Taehyung. Besides the obvious confusion at the sight of the building, he felt as if he were forgetting something important, like a memory. Something distant, yet recent. The feeling of having an important memory he couldn't remember slowly fade as it slipped further from his mind almost made him go mad.

"If I could just remember..." Seokjin mumbled under his breath as he once again raked his brain for the lost memory. "Shit, what the hell is it?"

"What is what, hyung?" Taehyung inquired, snapping Seokjin out of his thoughts. "Why're you swearing under your breath like that? You've acting odd ever since you woke up this morning."

Seokjin blinked and shook his head, slightly frightened by the sudden appearance. "No, nothing. It was nothing." He sighed heavily. Fortunately for him, Taehyung didn't pry any further as he continued talk about something else entirely. Seokjin hadn't paid his friend attention, just nodding every so often as if he were.

Though Seokjin was hesitant at first, but Taehyung was adamant on bringing Seokjin to the school to show him his new graffiti art on the back of the school building.

Seokjin still couldn't get used to the idea of being there, standing in the middle of the very hallways he used to walk years ago. He knew it wasn't possible, he knew it was probably a dream or some acid trip, but it just felt so surreal; a feeling he could not shake took ahold of him as hundreds of thoughts running through his mind at the same time.

How the hell did I go back two full years? That's just not normal! He massaged his temples, the headache from the millions of thoughts running his mind at the same time getting to him.

He was honestly way past the disbelief stage and the denial stage, he even had the bruises from the constant pinching on his forearms to prove it. It was all now just coming up with a reasonable scenario to answer for everything.

Was everything before truly a dream? Am I living the true reality now? He paused in his tracks as one thought struck him, Was Taehyung's death and the rest of the guys disappearing one by one nothing but some long nightmare?

It was all unclear. He knew of realistic dreams where everything felt as if reality, right until the last moment (he'd even had some), but this didn't feel right. Everything — the police sirens, the funeral, the years of therapy, the lonely world of a businessman — all that definitely did happen, and the now he was living in also felt a lot more than just some realistic dream. And it didn't help how he just could not shake the feeling of having forgotten something. Something important. It was as if multiple pieces from Seokjin's memory were ripped out, nothing but a blank screen filling its place.

Giving up on his confusing thoughts, Seokjin began taking in his surrounds as he caught up to Taehyung, who was walking normally at a slow pace, never once noticing his friend's state.

Apgujeong High School was situated in a very wealthy ward of the Gangnam-gu district in S. Korea, Seoul, called Apgujeong-dong (압구정동). Many considered it as the "beverly hills of Korea", a nickname not gone in vain, especially when looking at the structure and design of the high school (let alone the rest of the city).

Much of the school's decor was pretty normal for a modern high school — normal classrooms, cafeterias, hallways, etc. — but there stood quite some expensive paintings on the walls as you first enter the building, giving a very "expensive" vibe. Even the uniforms seemed expensive with its black jackets lined with a gold fabric and wool vests of the same design. Of course, this school had adopted the modern societal aspects to welcome students of all caliber, it was the little things about it that made Seokjin absolutely despise it.

It was open knowledge the students with the parents with the most money or power were favored more, aka Kim Seokjin.

"... Rapmon-hyung and Suga-hyung..." Seokjin tuned in when hearing the familiar nicknames the two boys gave themselves in high school as their "underground rapper name".

"Namjoon and Yoongi?" he pipped up as he followed Taehyung up a flight of stairs.

"Yeah, they said their waiting for us in the clubroom." He shrugged, looking up ahead. He continued to say something like, "though Namjoon doesn't like being called Rap Monster anymore, he wants to he called RM so it's RM-hyung." But at that point Seokjin tuned back out.

Clubroom? Seokjin wondered, was I supposed to know what that meant?

Before he could question his young friend about the so-called clubroom, a familiar gruff voice intervened, "Mr. Kim Seokjin?"

Seokjin looked behind him to see Mr. Han Geun-Kyu, his principal from, well, now, standing at the bottom of the stairs. He wore his signature look with his arms crossed and a permanent stone face devoid of emotion resting on his visage.

Seokjin bowed in respect, as they're always to do when seeing an adult, to which the man simply waved off.

"May I talk to you for a bit?"

Seokjin looked to Taehyung, who only shrugged lightly in response. "It's alright, Jin-hyung. I'll catch up with you later."

Seokjin gave him a simple nod and turned back to Mr. Han, walking to him hesitantly. This man had always given him some sort of bad feeling, but he always brushed it aside as his nerves getting the best of him.

When Seokjin reached him, he couldn't help but notice how Mr. Han barely gave him another look as he gruffly stated, "Follow me to my office." To which Seokjin obeyed.

비처럼 가지마요 | don't go away like the rain

Seokjin followed the man as they reached the door, Mr. Han gesturing Seokjin to enter through the door first, then closing the door shut behind him as he entered. The office looked just as it did when he first enrolled into the school and every time he came after; the same boring beige wallpaper, the same dark wooden decor and dark brown leather couches around a single coffee table, the same desk across from the door along with a wooden cabinet neatly placed beside it.

Many years ago, Seokjin never would have understood how adults could live such a boring lifestyle with the same bland decor every day, but now it wasn't so odd to him. He understood that there simply was no time to be a kid anymore and that the world pushes you to grow up, ready or not. Or so he experienced by himself in reality.

He hadn't realized that he was zoning out again until his eyes landed on Mr. Han sitting at his desk across the room, nodding at him to sit down in front of him. Seokjin made his way to the desk and took a seat at one of the chairs across from him, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

The two sat in an uncomfortable silence, neither saying a word.

The way Seokjin saw it, the man who sat in front of him was very cunning. He'd always be observing his students, making sure they would feel uncomfortable under his gaze so they'd fall under his authority. It was a simple power ploy, really; the more the students feared him and his stern demeanor, the more in line they'd fall in line and obey.

Not being able to handle the silence any longer, he decided to be the first to attack. Seokjin crossed his leg, intertwining his fingers and resting them on his thigh, and eased back into the chair, giving him a calm and collected, yet in control expression. He cleared his throat and spoke up sternly, "May I know why I was brought here?" He noticed how Mr. Han looked taken aback as he blinked in confusion, which was understandable.

In the past, Seokjin was a quiet kid who never spoke up much unless with his six friends, and even then it was minimum. Normally he would have stuttered his entire way through the sentence, not maintaining any eye contact either due to his previous quiet nature, but he didn't feel the same anymore.

Nonetheless, it only lasted for a moment. Mr. Han cleared his throat before he spoke, "Ah, yes. I just wanted to check on your, uh... progress. I mean, you are still holding up your end of the deal, aren't you?"

Seokjin tilted his head in confusion. "Deal?" he voiced his thoughts.

"Yes, our deal. And the names are all in this folder, as promised." he stated confidently as he slid over a blue folder with the words "do not open, confidential" written on the cover.

Seokjin arched his eyebrow and threw Mr. Han another confused look. "I'm not sure what you mean, sir." he said, truly not understanding the situation.

Mr. Han looked at him doubtfully. "Have you forgetting the arrangement already? Or were you not yet made aware of?" Not getting any response in return, Mr. Han continued, "Very well. The deal was in order for me to fulfill your father's request on a letter of recommendation to Harvard and guaranteed admission, you are to gather information on the students named in this folder. "

Seokjin was about to interject before the principal added, "For the interest of the school, of course." Seokjin knew enough to not believe a word of that sentence, or at least see through to the underlying meaning. He let it slide, however, not wanting to make it into a concern he'd have to deal with.

Seokjin's eyes landed on the folder sitting neatly on the desk once more. Names? Harvard? More questions swarmed in his head, he could feel himself spiral once again. When did my father make this deal? I don't remember any of this ever happening to me before. Was all that happened before truly just a dream?

"I-I'm still not sure I understand. What names? What exactly do I have to do here?" he asked with an uncertain tone.

Mr. Han leaned back into his chair, the same stern look on his face. But even with his head pounding with questions and confusion, he could see that change in the man's poker face, with the hint of an almost smug expression. "All you have to do is report any behaviour against the rule book these young gentlemen may be executing. As simple as that."

So basically be Mr. Han's personal whistleblower. He concluded, as another concern arose. Why me? Seokjin had a bad gut feeling about the entire thing.

It wasn't ideal, but the fact that Seokjin's father would have made such an elaborate deal to the principal of the school instead of trusting his own son's academic ability didn't sound too far fetched to him. In fact, it sounded just like his father.

Heaving a heavy sigh, knowing he couldn't do much else about it now, Seokjin reached in front of him and grabbed the folder, bringing it to him. He opened the folder to a single page with four names written on it: Kim Namjoon, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Kim Taehyung.

[ Don't let this all seem like a dream. ]
[ 이 모든 게 다 꿈인 것 같아 사라지려 하지마. ]