DRIVING AWAY FROM Malibu felt more cathartic than I'd expected. We'd taken my car, though Roman assured me he made the trip on his motorcycle plenty of times. It took a lot of convincing for him to decide to take the car instead and one of the regulations was that he'd drive. I reluctantly agreed.

        Roman clenches the wheel as he switches lanes on the freeway. We'd been on freeways for close to four hours now and I was sort of antsy. I glance over at him and gnaw on my lip. "Wanna play I Spy?" I ask, glancing out the window. I spot a green billboard and grin. "I spy with my little eye something green."

        Roman doesn't respond, but he clutches the wheel harder. I frown and reach over, placing my hand on his thigh. Roman practically jumps and I wonder if he'd forgotten I was in the car with him. "Rome?"

        "I'm fine," he mumbles quickly, reaching down and patting my hand. "Fine."

        "I didn't ask you anything, yet," I point out. "What's going on?"

        Roman takes a deep breath. "I'm nervous, I guess."

       "Nervous?" I repeat, testing the word and being confused by it. It didn't sound right coming from a man I'd rarely seen be anything but confident. "What are you nervous about? I know Sam is a little used but she can get us to San Francisco, I swear. Driving back from Berkeley was about the same distance, anyways and—"

Roman looks over at me. "You named your car Sam?"

I blush. "What's wrong with Sam?"

"It's the lamest car name I have ever heard of. You couldn't get any more creative?" he presses, glancing at me with a confused expression.

I cross my arms across my chest. "Well, what's your motorcycle's name?"

"Caterina," Roman articulates in an Italian accent that sends shivers down my spine. "You know, something that reflects the beauty that she is."

"Have you seen my car?" I ask. "It's hardly the epitome of beauty."

Roman chuckles. "Well, maybe, because you named it 'Sam!'"

"Sam is a fine name!" I hiss before widening my eyes. "Holy shit, you're distracting me again."

Roman bristles. "Distracting you from what?"

"Rome," I warn, lowering my voice an octave. "Answer the question."

He blows out a deep breath, switching lanes with ease. "I'm scared of what you'll...how you'll think of me, I suppose. Once we get there."

"Why would you ever be scared of that?" I murmur softly, squeezing his thigh. "You have to know by now that I think the world of you, Roman."

Roman reaches down and grabs my hand, looping our fingers together. "And what if after this you don't? I just...I don't want you to see me differently. I like how you see me."

"You're good, Roman. It doesn't matter what happens; that'll always be true," I say. "If you're not ready, we don't have to go. We can get a hotel somewhere, have crazy sex, and then drive right back. You shouldn't feel obligated to do anything you're not ready for."

Roman laughs loudly, bringing up our knuckles and kissing the back of my hand. "The crazy sex part does sound intriguing," he responds. "But I need to do this. I need you to know this part of me."

"Okay," I whisper, squeezing his hand.

Roman breathes out another sigh. "Okay."

I stare out the window at the oil-painted sunset, leaning my head against the side and keeping Roman's hand locked in mine. We sit in comfortable silence for a few moments before Roman speaks again. "Tell me something," he asks suddenly.

"Hmm?"

"This morning," he starts and the color drains from my face. "After I cleaned you up and you acted weird...are you going to ever tell me what that was about?"

I like you. For real this time.

I turn my head away from the sky and look at him. He's driving quickly on the freeway, but he still finds pockets of time to look at me. "Maybe," I whisper, shrugging my shoulders. "But I think it might be better if I don't." I tear my hand away from Roman's and inhale sharply through my nose. He inhales too and I stare at him. "Does that make you angry?"

"Frustrated more than angry. That I can't tell how you're feeling," he admits, clenching his jaw. "I didn't do anything wrong?"

"No," I respond honestly. "No, you didn't. Trust me, it's better if we just forget about it. For now."

Roman chuckles humorlessly. "For now," he repeats, dragging out the words. "Okay."

I take a deep breath and smile. "Okay."

I lean my head against the window again and shut my eyes, allowing the swaying of the car and Roman's hand who'd found a new location on my thigh to calm me to sleep.

¥

I don't wake up until Roman is parking the car in someone's driveway. It's a two-story house, nice but not too posh, with green grass and so many plants that this entire street would be set with oxygen for centuries. I would assume that this was Roman's childhood home, but he'd told me before that he was from Malibu, not San Francisco. So whose house was this?

The car stops and Roman's eyes catch on me in the dark. There's still a nervous glint in them, but also something else. He seems relieved to be here. Wherever this was, whoever was in this house, they were home to him. "So...," he starts, scratching his chin with his hand. "I'm actually not sure what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," I respond softly. "We could just go in."

Roman sighs and nods. "That might be best. Just promise me you won't be angry, okay?"

I knew better than to make promises I didn't know I could keep, but he seemed so distraught I can't help but nod. The doors unlock and we both climb out of the car at different speeds, me with quickness and Roman slowly. I stare at him before walking over and locking our hands together, pulling him to my side. "Thanks," he whispers.

I grin softly before standing on my toes to kiss him. It's a sweet kiss, one with no other intentions than to just touch lips with one another. I can't remember Roman ever kissing me like this; I was floating. By the time he pulls away, I'm all but prepared to ask for him to kiss me again. But he's walking to the door now and unlocking it with a key. I squash down my request and mentally save it for later.

A beep goes off in the house, signaling that we'd walked in. The house was beautiful on the inside, with chestnut furniture and countless art pieces that seemed too authentic to have been copied and rebought. I'm so busy taking in the house that I barely hear Roman when he calls out, "Ede?"

"In here!" a feminine voice sounds. I can see Roman smile at her voice and something sinks in the pit of my stomach. But then he glances down at me and squeezes my hand and I feel like I'm floating again.

He guides me towards the voice, down a hall or two, until we make it into a kitchen. A girl with cropped brown hair and wide eyes looks up at us. She's gorgeous, with tanned skin and long eyelashes and pouty lips. The feeling in my stomach returns. "Hey," she breathes out, glancing down at the papers she's been looking at before. She pushes them to the side and grins. "You've given me an excuse to stop learning about metaphysics. Thank you, Romano."

He laughs and smiles even wider. "Uh, this is Braylen. Braylen, this is my...this is Eden."

Eden. I briefly remember Roman mentioning her in the therapy parking lot that day, briefly explaining how they were close friends in a different sort of way. I blush under her careful stare. "Hi."

"Well, hello there," Eden says, grinning widely. She stands up from her seat and stretches out her arms before looking down self-consciously. "Sorry about my outfit; I've been cramming for a test I have next week—summer classes, you know? Figure I should get my degree sooner or later. God, you're handsome. You didn't tell me he was this handsome, Roman. I should kick your ass."

Roman laughs and even I crack a smile. I wasn't entirely sure who this woman was to Roman, but she seemed nice enough. Maybe I only liked her because she called me handsome.

"Is she awake?" Roman asks, eyebrows raised. He speaks quietly and Eden laughs softly.

"Of course she is. I haven't seen her sleep for more than six hours in four years," Eden says, glancing at me with a wary expression. "You two should go and say hello. She's been talking about you all week."

        I glance at Roman who seems to be an odd mix of nervous and relaxed at once. I assume I was the cause of the nerves and smile. "Sure. Let's go," I say, nudging Roman's shoulders. I figured if I acted like this was all fine, despite me not having any clue who she was in the first place.

        Roman glances down at me before sighing softly. He reaches down and grabs my hand, guiding me through the house. We head upstairs and I can practically hear Roman's thoughts running around his brain. He stops at the first door on the right and knocks gingerly. "Isla?" he calls out.

"Isla?" I murmur, raising my eyebrows. "Who is that, again?"

The door suddenly clicks open. I stare ahead of me, waiting to see some other naturally gorgeous girl just like Eden standing in front of me but am met only with a pale blue wall. I lower my eyes down to see a small child with bright green eyes and long brown hair staring up at us. "Hi, papà!" she calls out, running towards Roman who is all smiles. He picks her up easily, spinning the girl around in a circle before setting her back down.

This was his daughter.

"What are you doing up at midnight, Isles?" he asks, ruffling her hair and grinning fondly at the girl. I realize just how alike they are, from the way she crosses her arms and stares up at him with big, round eyes to the way she pouts out her bottom lip at him. 

       Isla's eyes narrow. "I'm four, not two." Her eyes catch on me and she frowns. "Who are you?" she asks, her melodic voice catching on the 'are.'

        "This is Braylen, Isla," Roman says, finally looking over at me. There's a pink tinge on his cheeks, halfway happiness, and halfway nervous. "Braylen, this is Isla. My daughter."

        The grinning four-year-old sticks out her hand at me. "Nice to meet you," she says and I shake her hand after just a second's hesitation. She turns to Roman and raises her eyebrows. "Was that polite, papà?"

        Roman chuckles and even I crack a smile. "Yes, it was, bella ragazza." He glances back at me and his smile softens. "I'm going to put her to bed. We can talk after, okay?"

        I nod and Roman touches Isla's shoulders and leads her back into her bedroom. As the door is shutting, I hear her quiet whisper to him. "Is he your boyfriend?" she asks, earning a loud "shhh!" from Roman.

        The door shuts behind them and I stuff my hands in my jean pockets, rocking back on my heels. My feet trail back down the hall and downstairs until I'm back in the kitchen, face to face with Eden. Her laptop was completely closed and instead, she was drinking a glass of wine from an expensive glass. "Hello, handsome. Want a glass?" she asks.

        I shrug my shoulders. "Yeah, sure."

       She stands up and grabs another glass before setting it on the table. I watch as she pours it, staring at this beautiful girl and wondering just who she was to Roman. "Is he putting Isla to bed?" she asks, handing me the dark red liquid.

        I take a long sip, relishing in the warm tingling that spreads through my body as I do so. "Yes," I respond. After a moment, my mouth opens again. "She looks like you."

       Eden laughs softly. "She'd better. I didn't go through 9 months of acid vomit for her to not look like me," she jokes. Her eyes narrow in on me. "He didn't tell you, did he?"

        I shake my head. "No. No, he didn't."

        "I'm surprised he brought you here in the first place, honestly," Eden mumbles distractedly as she pours me another glass of wine. "He's usually more private about things like this. He must really love you."

        "We're not like that," I say quickly, a blush coming to my cheeks. "I mean, it's...we're complicated."

        Eden chuckles. "Yeah, well, it's come to my knowledge that a lot of the things we think are complicated really aren't that complicated at all. They're often the most simple things ever."

        "How do you figure?" I ask, finishing my second glass.

        "Roman cares about you," she says. "And you care about him. Couldn't be any more simple than that, no?"

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happy pride kiddos!
so. did anyone see that coming?