2 months later...

I laid down in my bed and stared at the ceiling, recollecting everything that happened the past 2 months. The last time we saw Mr Stewart was when he picked us up from my house after we got the news about the cashier's death. He made us both sleep in Izzie's room and said that he was going to stay outside. In the middle of the night, I got thirsty and went out to get some water and saw him sitting outside the door, wide awake. "Why are you awake Casey?" He asked and I pointed to the kitchen. When I returned to the room he said, "Just... stay in there okay? I'll deal with this. I don't want you two involved."

The next morning when I woke up he was gone. I assumed he went out to get something so Izzie and I prepared breakfast for ourselves but he just never returned.

I brought Izzie back to my place and told Elsa that she would need to stay for the week because she was having troubles at home and of course she immediately invited her in. Elsa loves Izzie.

There were no evidence and answers found by the police pertaining to Carter, William and Tyler's death which was good for us. But nothing was found about Cody's death which was what worried us the most.

That week, Izzie spent most nights crying herself to sleep and every time I tried to comfort her, she would push me away. "He left. Just like he always does," was all she mumbled to me before making me leave her alone. It pained me terribly to leave her in this state but I couldn't do anything about it. I had texted Mr Stewart multiple times but I never got a reply. I headed down to Stewart Constructions a couple of times too but he was nowhere to be found. The colleagues told me that he would always disappear for a few weeks and it's usually for overseas business matters. But I knew this had nothing to do with business. It had something to do with J.

Izzie and I had drifted quite a bit which was the worst part of this entire thing. It kinda felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders because there were no more murders and the police were slowly giving up but the feeling of not being around Izzie as much, although we were in the same house, was tearing me apart. The only time we left the house together was to go to Cody's funeral. There was a large crowd that had gathered there and it was there that I found out he was actually a student at Newton. I can never forget the cries from his classmates and the absolute distraught and numbness written all over his parents' faces at the funeral. Izzie broke down there and so did I. We didn't even know this kid but we were the last ones he saw before he got killed.

The drive back home was horrible because Izzie didn't want to talk about it at all. We sat in an uncomfortable silence and the ride felt like forever.

Right now, I was lying on my bed, refusing to continue on my homework. Elsa's paranoia about letting us out of the house had reduced a little because everyone was slowly starting to forget about all the murder cases. Except me and Izzie of course. Especially Izzie.

Thankfully, regionals were next week which meant that Crowley was being extra hard on us with all the extra hours and the weekend training and it did help to get my mind off everything. The track team could tell that Izzie and I weren't being our usual selves and they questioned us about it once or twice and even tried joking about it but eventually stopped when they realised that what we were going through seemed pretty serious.

Next week, the track team was going to travel out of the state to compete in regionals and I was afraid of what to expect. Were Izzie and I going to be fine by then?

I twirled my pen between my fingers when Elsa knocked on my door, getting my attention. "Honey, dinner is ready," She said.

I got off my bed and dragged my feet down to the dining room, where Sam, Izzie and Dad were. Dad had finally moved back home but he wasn't sleeping in the same room as Mum yet. But it was enough for me.

"I ordered a pizza as well and thought we could watch a movie later," Dad said as I sat down. "We're kinda on regionals diet," I told them before looking at Izzie who sighed. "I could really have some pizza right now," She said, taking a slice. She didn't even look at me.

"I'm going for a run," I said standing up and turning around. "Casey you didn't eat ANYTHING today," Elsa called out but I didn't turn back. "It's not safe for you to go out now," Dad said, as I grabbed my shoes from the rack and went outside.

The anger and sadness in my heart made it hard for me to hold my tears back. I took in a few deep breaths before putting on my shoes when I heard the door open. I was ready to yell at Elsa to tell her to leave me alone when I saw Izzie. The usual smile that would appear on my face whenever I see her didn't appear this time. I was too angry at everything and quite frankly angry at her. So I ignored her and turned back to tie my shoes, hoping that she would get the hint that I don't want to talk right now.

She came forward to me and sat down next to me. It took everything in me to not look at her until she used her hands to guide my face to face hers. When I saw her eyes, I felt like crying again. "What's up Newton?" She asked and I sighed. "Nothing. Go back inside."

"I think I know you pretty well to know that you always take off on a run when something is bothering you."

"Well what do you think is happening?!" I yelled at her. I didn't mean to raise my voice but I was already too frustrated to think rationally. "Iz... I get it. Things have been hard and confusing for both of us and probably more for you. But I'm still your fucking girlfriend and I still expect you to talk to me without shutting me out. Yeah I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt for a while but these 2 months have just been horrible. And it hurts when you don't even say goodnight to me before we go to bed. And the morning cuddles? And the pillow fort nights? What happened to all that? So yeah that's probably what's been bothering me."

I subtly rolled my eyes and went back to tying my shoes when I felt her soft hand take my chin before she turned my face around again to kiss me. I sighed immediately into the kiss and reached my hand out to tuck her hair behind her ear and cup her cheek. She pulled away after a while and kept her forehead on mine as we both caught our breath.

"It's just... it's been a lot... and it's scary to talk about it. And trust me I've missed you so much. It's just... my mind's clouded with these thoughts all the time and I don't want to burden you with them..."

"Iz you'll never be a burden to me. And I want you to be able to talk to me about anything at all," I told her and she nodded. "I know that but... I don't know why I just can't... I just can't bring myself to talk about it..."

"Alright... you don't have to right now. I'll give you your space. But I'm still here for you."

We looked at each other for a while before I got up and started to run off. I focussed on my breathing and allowed my brain to slowly forget about everything.

I don't know how but I somehow reached the 711 that Izzie and I always go to. The place where Cody was murdered. I stopped for a while to catch my breath and closed my eyes as the memories of that night and the images of his funeral came flooding back. I started to breath heavier before I decided to run off, not wanting to be anywhere near there anymore.

Thankfully, I reached home quickly after that, drenched in sweat and my panting was even heavier than usual which confused me because with the extra training, I thought my stamina would have improved. And I didn't run as fast or as much as I usually do. I shrugged it off, telling myself it was just a bad day and went inside my house. The entire family and Izzie were seated at the couch watching a movie.

I heard them call out to me but I ran straight to my room, ignoring Elsa asking me to eat something and Dad asking how the run was. I was in no mood to talk and honestly was too out of breath to say a word. I slammed the door close and plopped onto my bed. I never ever do this because I think it's disgusting to sit on the bed when you're all sweaty but my body gravitated towards the bed. I was so physically and mentally tired. And I wanted Izzie more than ever.

It took a lot of effort but I managed to get off the bed eventually and forced my legs to walk towards the bathroom. As the water ran down my body, I closed my eyes and held onto the wall, recollecting everything that had happened the past 2 months. My life felt like it was slipping away.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, my bedroom door opened and Izzie walked in. I don't know how but I immediately felt better. She lifted up the box of leftover pizza and smiled and I found myself smiling for the first time today. "I'm shocked you said no to pizza," She said, setting the box down on my bed. "Regionals diet," I replied quietly and she laughed. "Newton you're the girl who got 5 donuts from the cafeteria right before training. I know you just keep using the regionals as an excuse to not eat anything," She said and I kept quiet.

"Yeah... I think I know my girlfriend pretty well," She said, running her fingers through my wet hair.

"Eat up. I wanna see the box empty. And then I want you to go to sleep. You seriously need the rest," She whispered, kissing me on my forehead before leaving the room. I moved back on my bed and turned on my TV, hoping to distract myself with a show or a movie. When I bit into the pizza, I felt my grumbling stomach thanking me for feeding it after not giving it any food the entire day. I gobbled down 4 slices in a matter of minutes, fully satisfied.

I kept my eyes on the TV for another 5 minutes or so before Izzie came back in. She smiled proudly when she saw the empty box. "You look better already," She said, bringing the box out of my room. She grabbed the remote from me and turned off the TV earning an annoyed groan from me. "You need to get some rest," She told me sternly, looking into my eyes.

"Will you sleep with me tonight?" I asked and she nodded slowly. I forgot to mention that the past 2 months, whenever Izzie would push me away during one of her breakdowns, I would sleep on the couch downstairs while she cried herself to sleep. It was absolute hell because it was tough being without her and also because I hated myself for not being upstairs to help her. I felt useless.

She got into bed with me and then it felt like home again. We hesitated for a while before Izzie finally opened her arms and I moved comfortably into them. She spent some time stroking my hair and using her finger to circle the skin on my arm because she knows how much I love that. I felt a few soft kisses on my head that made my heart melt. Even though we hadn't been as happy these 2 months, she still remembers the little things that make me happy. For the first time in a long time, it was easy to fall asleep.

And then I saw Cody. The innocent smile on his face when we bought those drinks from him. The last image I saw of him sleeping. The moving bushes. Izzie and I on top of the car. And then I saw Stewart Constructions. And the brown file. And the sight of Mr Stewart crying on the floor with Izzie and I in his arms. And then I saw Izzie. But she was dead.

A terrible. Fucking. Nightmare.

I shot awake in a cold sweat and my vision was blurred. I took in a huge gasp when I woke up which was loud enough to wake up the sleeping Izzie next to me in an instant. I placed my palm on my chest as I struggled to breathe, coughing between my sobs. "Casey! Casey!" I heard her voice but it felt like it was coming from a distance away. Her hands moved all over my shoulders as she desperately tried to bring me closer to her.

Once she successfully did, she held me tight. "Breathe... it's okay..." She whispered. I felt like I was fucking dying. All the oxygen was leaving my lungs. "Casey. Breathe with me. In and out," She said. Her voice seemed clearer and my vision got better as well as I sucked in large volumes of air. It hurt terribly and I felt suffocated but I managed to get the hang of it, clutching onto my girlfriend's arms that were around me. "I got you... it's okay... you're good..."

Once my breathing got back to normal and I could finally clearly make out the surroundings in my room, I fell back onto the bed and into Izzie's arms. I was so exhausted.

"I can't take it," I whispered to her and she looked at me with her lips quivering. "Izzie... I can't take not knowing where J is..."

She didn't say anything. "And where the fuck is your dad? He said he would keep us safe right?" I asked, and she tightened her embrace around me. "I can't sleep anymore. I can't think of anything else that can distract me."

"You were dead... in my dream... you were dead," I mumbled, instantly breaking down again. "Casey..." She said softly and I looked up at her.

"If we find J... and put an end to all of this... we could go back to normal again..." She said.

"What do you think of another Casey Gardner and Izzie Stewart adventure?" She asked and I looked at her in confusion, still catching my breath.

"Let's go find my dad."