She's the first one that I see (she)
She lives in daydreams with me
And I don't know why

TW: Drug use.

I couldn't do it.

Even intoxicated, I thought all feelings for Harry were muted but definitely, they weren't. Hate myself so much for allowing Harry to control so much of me without him even aware.

Niall didn't even make me feel guilty at all. He was sweet and understanding, my heart melts at that because I know men these days aren't like him at all.

Sleeping beside me on his belly, one hand loosely over my naked waist, the other buried under the pillow his head was laying on. Messy waves of brown hair brushing his forehead. Niall was beautiful and maybe I'd be interested if Harry hadn't intoxicated my soul so much.

"Niall," I whispered and shook his shoulder, hoping he would free me from his grip. Okay, I'll be truthful. I could easily move away from his hand and escape but then he would be here alone and probably have to take a cab home. He groans after multiple attempts and turns his body away from me. "Niall!" I shout this time. His eyes jolt open and he jumps off the bed as if it was on fire. "Where're the kangaroos?!" He blurts out, alarmed eyes wide searching the empty motel for kangaroos.

I bite my dry lip to hide the laugh. Niall finally realizes and returns to reality in a matter of seconds. With sagged shoulders he returned to bed, sighing softly when his head met the pillow again. My red lipstick was still printed on his lips, faintly running down to his chest. Last night felt like a dream at this moment and I am beyond grateful I remembered everything.

It was surprising to me that my headache was manageable and I didn't feel like slowly tearing my head off. "Niall, we have to go home soon," I spoke out again. The Irish groans and turns ninety degrees so he laid on his side like I am. His eyelids fluttered open and he smiles as his eyes met mine. I take it that he also remembers?

"Last night..." he softly whispered and my head nods against the pillow, confirming whatever thoughts we shared. "Promise this isn't like me. I usually have a date first," cliche words spilled from his mouth. "Maybe that's why it didn't happen," I say. Though I highly doubt that last night would ever happen again. The reason why is because I saw green eyes, not blue. I wanted to see an inked moth hovering over me, not a blank chest.

I was in too deep.

Not even alcohol could've helped me.

"So that means you'll say yes if I ask you on a date?" Niall asks with a cheeky smile. My eyes rolled and I took that as a cue to get out of bed and find my way home to Harry. Niall follows and only the shuffling of clothing as we quickly put them on was the only sound.

I walked into the bathroom and smiled when I saw three packaged toothbrushes waiting to be used. This was the first time I saw any cheap motel do this. I quickly brushed my teeth and washed my face. Tried to tame my electrocuted hair but there was only so much my fingers could do.

After Niall did the same, we walked across the street where my car was safely sitting in the empty and open parking lot. "For someone of wealth-" Niall began to say when we got seated. I could feel the car insult coming on. I can openly insult my car, no one else. "Don't you dare say shit about my car," I warned and he sealed his lips, taking back his words. Niall was good company, I had to admit. Wouldn't mind seeing him again but he must never know I think that.

He shows me the directions to his parents' house and within a couple of minutes, we had arrived. Niall turns to me, just staring at my face. "Is this goodbye?" He asks, refusing to get out of the car so soon. "See you at their wedding," I low key agreed. Niall sighed and stared at the blinding sun threatening to damage our eyes. "You didn't answer my question though," he mentions, turning his head to me again.

"What question?"

"If you'll say yes if I ask you on a date? I'd say we got along pretty well last night once we were past the bickering," he truthfully says. The mention of going on an actual date makes breathing difficult. I haven't been on a date in so long.

"Where would you take me, Niall Horan?" I played along. Maybe he can convince me to not stay every day at home with Henry. Niall smiles. "There's a restaurant near the beach I think you'll like their wine. And we can walk on the boardwalk. Well, it's plastic but you get the point,"he answered.

I'm a bit taken back because his response sounded as if he really thought about that. My fingers drum against the steering wheel, mind occupied by contemplating questions.

"If you don't want to then it's fine because I've realized there's someone else..." Niall adds. Maybe he is a nice lad after all. When it comes to moving on, distractions have a huge part to play in it for me. Call it a habit but when you're captivated by one thing and things get stormy, all you need to do is step away and think.

For me, I rely on people.

Zayn made me forget about my father and Cassidy.

Harry made me forget about Zayn, my family, and Cassidy.

Gemma and Daphne helped me forget about Harry, Zayn, Cassidy, and my family.

Now, Harry is back in my life. He's made me face my problems but I'm not alone, he's at my side. But it hurts.

"Take me on a date then, Niall Horan ," I gave in. He smiles widely as he got the answer he was hoping for. "Tonight? When should I pick you up?" He asks. That does sound tempting but Harry cannot find out about this. Maybe because I know there is something between us and I don't want to hurt him...

"No, send me the address. I'll meet you there," I decided. Niall furrows his eyebrows," It's like two hours away, I rather drive," He objects to my decision.

"You can't. Send me the address, driving alone might be good for me," I insisted. In a car all alone, heading to places I've never been, windows down, music blasting from every speaker. That sounds like exactly what I needed. Niall sighs and finally gave in. Glad he realized this wasn't up for debate. "See you later alligator," he grins and exits the car before I can reply.

With a smile on my face, I drove home. Thankfully, I wasn't greeted with a heavy hangover because I had lots to eat last night but the morning sun was being a bitch. Luckily, I got home before the sun could've given me a headache. I locked the car and walked to my door.

I quietly twisted the doorknob and pushed it open. I stepped inside, eyes automatically locking on Harry who was conveniently standing near the table.

"Sunshine!" Harry gasps and bolts to me. Barely was I given enough time to welcome his sudden actions. Though once his protective arms wrapped around my smaller body, they felt more at home than actually stepping inside of our apartment. "This is a lovely greeting," I say even though I was melting on the inside.

Just as easy you receive things, just as easy it is to be taken away.

As if my words knocked him to reality, Harry snaps back into reality and within a second he removed his hands and stepped away. Stormy eyes stared at my confused ones. "Don't fucking talk to me," he spat and turned away. I watched with parted lips as Harry stomped back to the living room. Angrily, he grabbed his bowl of lucky charms and continued watching Victorious with his feet resting on the coffee table.

My slow brain finally begins to work again. I didn't think of Harry when I made the decision to stay with Niall last night. I drank because I judged Niall too soon but mostly because I needed to find a loophole out of my feelings for Harry. After attempting to sleep with Niall, it dawned upon me that I was royally fucked and cannot escape Harry.

What breaks me though is that he seems to find an escape from me.

A sigh leaves my lips and I dumped my bag on the kitchen countertop. My phone spills out accidentally but Harry was the importance now. I walk closer until I was behind the soft. "Sunshine..." I whispered with a pleading tone mixed with guilt. "No," Harry harshly slammed down my easy attempts. "Please talk to me... I don't make smart decisions when I drink," I begged and placed my elbows on the backrest. My hands cautiously rest on his shoulders and they move closer up his neck with every word.

"Then why did you drink?" He questions, still staring at the TV. I wasn't ready to tell Harry the answer because the result only promised shouts. "Gem bought a drink, couldn't waste her money," I half lied. My fingers slipped through his messy curls. I could've moaned at how good his hair felt between my fingers. "Where did you go? Why did you leave me?" Harry softly asked, the vulnerability in his words left me regretting drinking that wine last night. "I drank and couldn't drive home so I stayed at a motel," I truthfully answered.

"Alone?"

My eyes screwed shut as mumbled the response. "Yes..." The lie felt like venom in my mouth. "I called you," Harry softly murmurs. Brushing through his messy hair kept me grounded with all the lies and guilt I've been a victim of. "I was probably busy," I cryptically say. Soon I discovered that no matter how hard I tried for this not to head south, the direction is unchangeable. In one swift motion, Harry places the bowl on the coffee table and stood up. Now his stormy green eyes were staring into mine with the couch separating us.

"Doing what?" He spat. More like 'doing who?'

"Drinking, sleeping? I don't know, Harry! I'm alive, aren't I? I thought you told me that I don't need to babysit you all the time?" I unknowingly raised the volume of my voice. All the questions linked to guilty answers had me feeling agitated. "Fuck off, Madeleine. Now I don't feel bad for finishing the lucky charms," Harry huffed.

I wished it was playful Harry again, but it wasn't. He had a tight grip on this and he needed to just let go. "You need to stop overreacting, Harry," I say. His eyes narrow as his hands turned into white knuckled fists. "I am not fucking overreacting!" Harry screams. "Have you failed to remember the dark shit that's linked to me? Do you not know how badly it would ruin me if something had happened to you because of me?" He continues.

Unknowingly, I took a step away from him. The weight of his words to my heart was too heavy. The couch between us wasn't enough space. Harry's eyes soften and just like that, anger and frustration disappear as if it wasn't there to begin with. "Shit...I'm sorry for raising my voice. I didn't mean it, Sunshine," Harry apologized.

I swallowed thickly, trying to find the right words through my mess of chaos speeding through my mind. "It's fine...I'm sorry I worried you but I can take care of myself..." I finally replied. However, I don't know if I can take care of myself the darkness Harry swims in ends up leaking into my pool. Standing here, I felt guilty for not calling him and maybe I should've. But for god's sake, I'm a college student. I go out to party and don't return the same night- okay, that's a poor excuse. I really should've called him.

"Don't do it again, Sunshine. It worries me every time you walk out of that door and last night you didn't return when you were supposed to. That fucked me up. Please don't do that again," Harry pleads.

"I'll call you next time. Now I need to go shower and change from this dress," I say hesitantly. A feeling made itself known, telling me that I shouldn't leave. But I do. Harry allows me to kill the tension between us and I returned to my bedroom. It felt like a breath of fresh air when I locked the door.

Now, it's like I'm faced with the problem. No longer can I deny it. I'm definitely not interested in Niall and I doubt I'll ever be.

Harry, he's the one.

I didn't know how to feel.

I'm beyond relieved that she's safe and untouched but something settling within me, holding a tight grip on my mind, keeping me from moving on. I wasn't contented with anything. Not even lucky charms could've helped me. Hell, not even Victorious could've done something. Only Madeleine but I cannot have my sunshine.

Her phone made itself none by blaring message tones throughout the apartment. At first, I ignored it. None of my business, Harry. Just keep watching Victorious. Then, it kept ringing and ringing sounding like a damn ringtone, not a message tone. Practically it was begging me to check who was trying to talk to her. Every time a new message would come in, I would glance at it and decide against going to look at it. That's snooping and snooping is bad. Snooping equals bad Harry and I need to be good Harry.

I shall continue to respect her privacy. But the devil on my shoulder was persuading me very well and I badly wanted to race to the phone and see who is messaging her so many times. Madeleine left her phone on the kitchen counter and on loud so she's basically asking me to look at it. She still hadn't come out of her bedroom...maybe I can take an accidental peek.

Fuck it.

I guess I am destined to be bad Harry.

I grabbed my empty bowl and placed it with the other dirty dishes before hovering over the countertop where he purse and phone laid. Her phone screen was already lit by the incoming messages from Mr. Leprechaun?

Mr. Leprechaun:
Are you sure you
don't want me to
pick you up?

Mr. Leprechaun:
Feels wrong
If I don't.

Mr. Leprechaun:
Madeleine are
You ignoring me?

Mr. Leprechaun:
I'm sure you're not.
I'm irresistible. Last
Night is proof ;)

Mr. Leprechaun:
Madeleine.

Mr. Leprechaun:
Answer me

Mr. Leprechaun:
Please

Mr. Leprechaun:
Is it wrong to ask
Someone if they
Want flowers on
The first date?

Mr. Leprechaun:
Of course that's
Wrong, Niall. You
Wanker you.

Mr. Leprechaun:
Madeleine should
I delete those
Messages?

Mr. Leprechaun:
You're still ignoring
me.

Mr. Leprechaun:
This isn't looking
Good for you darling.

I hate him.

My grip on her phone tightens as I read every single word this wanker sent. Whoever this Niall fucker is I absolutely loathe his existence. Already thinking of ways to shove bullets into his useless body. Though realization smacks me hard in the face. The phone nearly slips out of my loose hands. Color vanishes from my face in a second due to the level of shock.

She lied to me.

Sunshine actually lied to me.

She's going somewhere with him- they did something last night. If another touched her skin. Suddenly, nausea fills me. I dropped the phone and slowly walked back to the sofa. My arms shook as I sat down, so many images of Madeleine with another man taunt me.

Why does it feel like punishment?

Her bedroom doors open and Madeleine strolls into the living room. I tried to act as normal as possible but all I wanted to do was throw up. "Oh, I forgot to tell you that Daph wanted me to help her with her final task before exams begin so I won't be home tonight. Also, I promise I'll come home," she reveals the worthless lie.

She'll be with Niall.
They're meeting somewhere.
He's giving her flowers.
They did something last night.

I have been the one that waters Madeleine's flowers on her small balcony outside her window doors. When I arrived here they looked physically dead now pretty pink flowers were starting to sprout. She didn't know that. She gets her flowers from another.

"Have fun with Niall," I murmured and turned my eyes away from her body. It felt like reading those text messages drained all energy contained in my body. "What did you just say?" She softly asked, barely audible. I turn to her again, no care to be found. "Accidentally glanced at your phone. It was ringing none stop anyways. Didn't have to lie about it, I don't care," I casually say. Her eyes flicked to the kitchen where her phone was silently waiting for her.

"Harry..."

"No. It's fine," I lied, brushing it off like it didn't matter.

How dare I feel this way, right? After moments of weaknesses where I have her, I push her away. I hate that she's so powerful that I forget my rules sometimes. Madeleine is my most important weakness. When Draven finds that out, he would torture her in front of my eyes. I've seen him do it before with other members that betrayed him.

So I was breaking her heart but little did she know I was protecting her pure heart at the same time.

Now I don't need to have one of those weak moments again.
She's moving on and I don't want to- no. Yes, I want to stop her and have her all for myself like the selfish bastard I am when it comes to my sunshine. But I can't if it means she gets hurt being in my darkness.

Harry wasn't supposed to find out.

You don't care, Madeleine.

Harry doesn't want you. He has clearly stated that. So I can go out with whoever I want. I shouldn't care about him.

Yeah, I don't.

So why does seeing his face so...cold shatter my heart? Why does it hurt so much for him to say he's fine with me going out with Niall?

No, Madeleine. You will go out with Niall tonight and have long walked on the beach. What if Niall is my husband or something? "Okay," I ended and retrieved my phone and purse before returning to my bedroom. I flinched, unaware that I had slammed the door harshly.

Exhaling through my mouth, I opened my phone to see the messages Niall left and what exactly Harry had seen. Just great. Instead of typing a response, I pressed the call button. Niall picks up right after the first ring. "What time are we meeting there?" I bluntly ask into the phone, accidentally showing my anger. "I-" Niall pauses for a moment, clearly taken back. "Oh hello, Niall the handsomest. How are you? Hello to you too, I'm amazing Madeleine thank you for asking, how may I help you?" Niall teases, his sarcastic Irish tone vividly heard.

I rolled my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose with my other hand. "I like to be blunt sometimes..." I say, unable to avoid the smile that Niall causes on my face. "Hm, so I've realized," he murmurs, I could practically hear the grin on his face. He would never drop what happened last night, would he?

"The time, Niall," I sighed, hoping he would just answer me already. "Say please," He requests. My other hand drops to my side and curls into a small fist. "I will personally strangle you the next time I see you," I warned.

"Maybe that's what I like."

"Oh for god's sake Niall!"

I'm going to hell for this.

She is gone and I am here. It had only been a couple of minutes since she walked out of the apartment without saying goodbye. Though I had to smile when I noticed she was still wearing my ring and that cross necklace from last night. Never seen her wear it before and I wanted to know why she had it. Wanted to know everything about her...

She got dressed for him.

No, Harry. You will not sit here and endure this. There are was of muting the silence.

Heartbreak leads to bad locations.

So fuck it.

"Here to take my medicine, take my medicine," I sang on my way to Madeleine's bathroom. I saw her medicine cabinet when we um- you know... and well , it's about to come in handy today. I opened the box and smiled widely when a wide variety of small medicine bottles stares back at me.

So many options...

My eyes found the ones that had the most amount of pills stored in them. I grabbed the first one and read the label. "Opioids," I recited. See, I'm supposed to be doing this or else it wouldn't have been this easy. Opioids are used to cure severe pains. Crushed in fine lines and they're prescribed to cure my broken heart and useless jealousy. I tried looking for more of Madeleine's liquor stashes but we probably drank it all. So therefore, this is the next best alternative.

I offloaded enough into the palm of my hand. After doing this for years, eyeballing the amounts for a simple distraction away from your chaos gets easy. I screwed on back the cover and returned everything as if I was never in here. I stride into the kitchen and found something heavy enough to crush it yet something that wouldn't stick the powder to it. That turned out to be the flat circular end of a wooden spoon.

Whatever works.

Once I was that desperate that I remember crushing it with my hands. Searching through the word of toxic medicine to find a release that lasts an eternity. After Liam helped me with my addiction, I came to the terms that happiness never lasts forever. If it did, no one would appreciate their happy moments. I'm happiest with Madeleine. She isn't here so once again, this is the next best alternative.

Within a few seconds, circular pills were transformed into thin white lines. Courtesy of a spatula and one of Madeleine's call cards for some restaurant. Only for a split second, I felt the burn as glass shards shot up my nostril.

As I straightened my posture, the effects already hit me and I could feel my feet slowly elevating off the floor. Well, that's what it felt like. Feeling weightless and numb was the best feeling ever and no one can tell me otherwise. Being with my Sunshine though...

No.

Such little things destroys you but it is the only thing that defeats the monsters. Even if it's only for a short amount of time. There's a bad side to everything. There will always be something attempting to persuade you away from what you have chosen and it is up to you, and only you to make the best decision or worst mistake.

More waves hit me and my eyes screwed shut. "Duck- fuck," I muttered, hand flat on the wall to keep my body balanced. Felt like the world was rapidly turning and I was the only one experiencing it. Then, the storm settles and- candy land.

My phone rings from the sofa where I had abandoned it some minutes ago. I leave the other lines for later and attempted to get to my phone. "Treat you like a gentleman. Give me that adrenaline, that adrenaline. I think I'm gonna stick with you," I somewhat sang the words as they floated around my mind.

An eternity later, my phone found its way in my hands. Barely could I make out the simple letters written across the screen. What I did see was a picture of Liam and me so I swiped left immediately. "Hi, Leeroy," I sang into the phone, accidentally giggling. Why did I giggle? Comedian Harry.

Wait... that has a nice ring to it.

"You're drunk," my best friend automatically notices. I pout, hoping he wouldn't have figured it out. Whatever. "No, brother. I am high as deformed clouds. How may I help you on this fine established day?" I corrected. What if clouds are supposed to be a specific shape and they're not? They're all failed and now they're deformed clouds.

What if clouds are homes for ghosts...

"It isn't wise of you to be snorting again, Harry. Didn't we talk about this?" He scolds me through the phone. "Then how would I heal my broken heart without medicine, oh wise one?" I replied, trying to sound like those dramatical people in the plays Liam always drags me to.

"Madeleine," Liam firmly guessed. "Ding, ding, ding. You have won a prize. Would you like to know where is my secret stash in that apartment?" I asked. Only if I can remember. Maybe Liam answers me, but once Madeleine had innocently found her way writing into my thoughts again, she was my main focus. "She's so pretty. I'm telling you Leeroy, she's an angelic beauty," I whispered hopelessly.

"You sound like you've got it bad man," Liam sighed, this realization was a burden to him. "She gives the best hugs. It's like hugging clouds," I murmured into the phone. Every time I've held my sunshine swims vastly through my mind and suddenly, my knees felt weak. "Harry, you can't fall in love with her," Liam warns, his tone pleading with me.

I'm not one to follow instructions.

"I do a lot of things I shouldn't when it comes to Sunshine."

Liam is silent, doubt he is surprised. "So why are you snorting then, Harry?" He asks. That should've been the most obvious question. Though I answered anyway," because I cannot have her. Draven goes after people's weaknesses and she is mine. I cannot let her get hurt because of me, Liam. I just can't."

I've never wanted something more in life. All I've ever wanted growing up was a family. My family didn't want me so I got Draven. Now I want Madeleine and I cannot have her. So we shouldn't be surprised.

"You've found something worth living for, Harry. What's the point in fighting if you don't have anything to fight for? If she is your weakness then why do you fight so strong to protect her?" Liam answers without hesitation.

Oh.

"Are you home safely?" Niall asked, the sound of him shuffling around his house follows. We have been on the phone for the entire drive back home. He didn't want me to feel unsafe driving an hour back home alone during the nighttime. Niall arrived at his house a couple of minutes before me since he lives closer.

"Yes, thank you for staying on the phone. You've eased my paranoid mind," I say politely and harshly slammed my car door. "I'll call you in the morning, okay? Gem is coming over tomorrow so maybe you can tag along? It would be nice to pretend we hate each other in front of them," Niall suggests.

"Pretend?"

"Fuck you, Madeleine," he scoffs. I grinned, knowing he gave me a perfect opportunity. "You tried. Anyway, I'll see you then. Goodnight, Neil," I replied. "Goodnight, Madison," Niall sings his words, clearly proud of himself.

"You ass-"

Walked right into that one.

Tonight was a perfect distraction. Niall taught me the way that a woman should be treated. He'd have me weak in the knees if it weren't for Harry's tight grip on my heart. We did actually take a walk on the beach, where I discovered that we don't like long walks on the beach. We rather sit on the sand, staring at the darkness of the sea as tiny waves rush to meet us though they never do.

All I could think about was that what if Harry was sitting beside me. His shoulders brushing against mine, his laugh music to my ears, his shoulders my head would fall on.

But it was Niall.

The problem is I missed those random nervousness around Harry. The way he looks at me when I'm speaking is like he rather listens to every single word than breathe. Or the soft touches that would make the fireworks explode. Time stopping every time he would look at me. Harry's my tattooed sunshine.

I'm addicted.

No amount of jokes or cute smiles could Niall reveal that would've turned me away from Harry. He's it. He's the person. I'm at my best with him.

Which makes me fucking screwed.

I shoved the key into the hole and twisted so the door is now unlocked. I slid it out and slipped it into my bag before opening the door. "Harry, I'm home!" I shout, mentally praying that things would be alright again.

"Me too!" Harry cheers from somewhere in the apartment. My eyebrows furrowed together. I locked the door and dropped my bag on the table as usual. My eyes found Harry laying on the floor, arms and legs spread out in a starfish position. He had a goofy smile on his face, looking happier than ever. "What are you trying to do?" I curiously asked, trying to find the pieces to put the puzzle together. "I'm a star," Harry giggles, the corners of his eyes creasing to show his vivid happiness.

Studying his beautiful face I realized two things.

One was that the angels took extra time carving this man to perfection without a doubt. The way his face lights up when he smiles does things to me that cannot be explained.

Second thing was that this man was also intoxicated.

"What did you take, Harry?" I softly asked, unable to hide the slight disappointment but in his state of euphoric numbness, Harry doesn't notice. "Do you think fishes' pee is invisible?" Harry questions with a serious tone, squinting his eyes at the ceiling in thought.

The coldness of the wicked night touched my skin, sending shivers down my spine, leaving the hairs on my hands to stand tall. Harry sat beside me on the cold balcony floor of our hotel, staring at the stars scattered across the darkness above us. My throat felt like it was on fire but whatever made me forget my father, whatever made me forget Zayn...I'd do it.

"Do you think fishes can paint their fins?" Harry turns to me, his goofy smile worn across his face paired with red eyes that's were mirrors of mine. "I don't think so," I denied without thinking about it. Harry pouts his lips, his grip on the beer bottle tightening.

"That's sad."

"Do you wish to be a fish enthusiast?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest. Drunk or high Harry likes to talk about fishes and share jokes. "Do you think fishes are blind? What if they need glasses...fishes deserve better," Harry continues his curiosity on fish. I walked around him, going into the kitchen to make sure he at least ate something.

Instead, I found a dusty marble countertop. My fingertips dragged down the smooth surface before looking at my fingers to see the white powder Harry left behind.

Just fucking great.

"Harry, which pills did you take?" I asked, staring at the giant on the floor. "Octopus!" Harry shouts, adorable giggles following. I slid out of my heels before walking to him, knowing that I'd have to get him to bed and make sure he drank water.

"Get up," I ordered. Harry pouts before surrendering and he finally got off the floor. "Yes, daddy," Harry mumbled, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. I froze for a moment, just staring at him in shock but Harry doesn't notice a thing.

Okay.

I grab his hand and guided him to his bedroom. His other hand drags along the wall for stability. "Imagine having a portable fishbowl...that's real right?"

"I don't know..." I whispered and helped him on the bed. He continues to shower me with more questions about fishes while I opened his blanket and throw it over his body. Just as I was about to leave to get him water, Harry's fingers wrapped around my wrist to stop me. "Don't leave me again," he softly pleads. His words sinking my heart deeper.

"Just going for water," I say, trying to pretend that I was unaffected. He hesitatingly released his grip. I returned to the kitchen and wiped down the countertops before filling a glass with water and returned to Harry. He sits up and reaches for the glass with both of his hands.

After finishing the glass, he rests it on the bedside table. Harry looks at me, his soft eyes staring into mine. "I take it all back, Madeleine. I want- no. I need you. You're my sunshine and without sunshine my life is worthless," Harry confessed, saying the right words to make my heart melt.

However, things are always too good to be true and I know better now.

"No, it isn't," I denied. "Yes," he insists," You give me reasons to keep trying. I want to win and I want you next to me." His hands find my own, slipping his fingers between mine before bending them. "You'll change your mind in the morning," I sighed, running my thumb along the back of Harry's palm. This is how things work with Harry. He gifts me happiness in form of his affection and then takes it back hours later.

"Can I have cuddles at least?" He asks, his request tugging the strings of my heart. I suppressed the smile somehow. I'd be lying if I say that I didn't want to stay here with him also. So, I agreed. Sliding my body beneath the blanket, Harry pulls me closer to him.

Fuck, this was a bad idea.

"No, it's my turn to be little spoon," he huffs and turns over. With a smile on my face, I turn over so his back was pressed against my stomach and hair tickling my chin. I wrap an arm around him and softly, my lips met the top of his head, eyes shutting to savor this precious moment.

"This apartment doesn't feel like home unless you're here," Harry mumbles, drifting into sleep and surrendering to the darkness.

I feel the exact way, Harry.
Together, we are home.

Thank you for readinggg. The next one you'll need a bucket of holy water;) or do you? Hehe I love you guys so so so much❤️

Credits: @1d._reunion

See y'all next week❤️