What if I'm down?
What if I'm out?
What if I'm someone you won't talk about?

TW:
Mentions of rape & drugging

"Just stay quiet," I ordered. Harry rolls his eyes and flopped down on the dirty bed. No time to care that the sheets had dried blood on them. Quickly, I bolted to the door and throw it open, welcoming Louis into my apartment. Relief washes through his blue eyes as he stepped in and wraps his arms gently around me.

"Oh, I'm so happy you're okay. You had me so worried," Louis gasps with relief and tightly hugs me to his chest. We pull away with sad smiles on our faces. "Sorry, didn't check my phone," I half lied and locked the door.

"We need to talk..." I reminded him. Louis nods his head," yeah. I was thinking we could've gone to the park after school but when you didn't respond I got worried and came here," he reveals. Louis was the paranoid type.

"Let's sit," I suggested. He shakes his head, denying. "No. I rather stand," Louis muttered. Guess I can't put it off much longer, huh?

Louis just looks at me with his dull blue eyes I fell in love with. Previously, I hated people with blue eyes because they were the cockiest people who thought life evolved around them. Then I met Louis, the guy who radiated perfection. He was a sight for sour eyes. He had a crazy obsession with using dip pens that made everyone think he was in the wrong century. The best thing I've ever done was proved to Louis how beautiful his voice was. Now singing was his best talent and I loved when he would strum his guitar and sing for me.

We don't have moments like that.

We don't spend moments writing songs, we don't go out on picnic Sunday, nothing between us comes naturally anymore. It's like for two years we were in this perfect bubble and then one day it just popped.

Something happened and everything changed. We didn't realize it until it was too late and now we were unfixable.

How could I say this without shattering both of us and everyone's dream of having us together? No, no. He cheated. Gemma's voice rang repeatedly in my head until I blurted it out. "I got sent me a video of you from the bar with a girl," I finally say out loud after trying to spit it out for a minute. My eyes dropped to the ground, afraid to even look at him.

I could feel the silence, the tension, the shock. "Mads..." Louis slowly said and I hesitantly looked at his pale face. Eyes were rounded out of shock, his jaw unhinged, rigid muscles. I'm not aware of how much time had passed of me waiting for him to say something else.

Louis swallowed hard, his blue eyes looking into my glossy ones. "I-I don't want to speak about that night," he whispered finally. That statement had my eyebrow bulled together and eyes squinting slightly. "Why not!? It was only two nights ago and I deserve an explanation but we're done, Louis. I don't support cheating, I'm sorry," I confessed easily because of the anger possessing my body. Of course, I had to apologize also, that's the person I am nevertheless.

"It wasn't like that!" Louis defended again. My hands dropped at my sides, slapping my thighs. Right now I didn't know what to do because he wasn't explaining to me or accepting his wrong. Lou isn't the type to do something like that. He'd usually accept his wrong so that's why I was conflicted at the moment.

"Lou...help me out here, you understand where I'm coming from right? I'm confused and..." I trail off helplessly. Right now, Harry was forgotten though hopefully, he couldn't hear a thing. "I was forced to cheat on you Mads! It wasn't my choice," was Louis' response.

"What do you mean? I saw the video! You wouldn't fuck someone without consent," I spat. Louis was cautious and careful. "Did you watch all of it?" Louis softly asked. I shake my head. "No, I was too disgusted," I harshly say.

Louis nods his head and kept his eyes on everything else but me. The clock was ticking and we had classes to get to, Louis wasn't helping and this seemed like someone else wore his body. "I can't say it," he finally says. "What? That you cheated and afraid to admit it," I assumed.

"That I was raped!"

Louis never shouted so loudly before. I'm pretty sure my heart stopped beating. Everything was just frozen, still. Speechless, stunned, shocked, confused, rage threw at me.

I was raped

Louis looked away and allowed the first tear to slip down his flushed cheeks. "How could you force me to say that?" His voice was the softest I've ever heard, surprised I heard him.

I forced him?

Hurt pounded my chest. How could I force him to say that? I did, didn't I? Didn't mean it, swear. "Jessica- she drugged me and I-I," Louis hiccuped through the continuous tears. "I didn't cheat willingly, would never," he sniffled. All of this new information wasn't easy for me to process, it hurt me to imagine what Louis went through.

His accent.

Only heard it slightly when he was angry but Louis was good at talking without it so it was natural for him. Now it was slipping through again. Jessica. Saying her name unlocked memories where I recognized her "Do you still have the video?" He asks.

Suddenly, I felt upset the more I thought of Jessica. That disgusting bitch who deserves hell on earth. How is Louis okay right now? Well, clearly he wasn't but he's doing much better than I would ever been.

"No," I whispered and shook my head. "How!?" He screamed, his hands rolled into fists this time. Louis didn't care that I flinched at his loud voice again. "She deleted it right after I saw it. You can delete medias if it's before an hour after sending," I blurted out, my eyes shut tightly so I don't jumble the words.

Louis groaned and harshly tugged his brown hair so tightly that his knuckles turned white. "Why did this have to happen? Everything was easy with you because it was easy to pretend, and now...fuck, Mads! I can't do this," Louis admits defeat. His voice stunned me more than it should've.

I've never heard someone talk more British. Seems like I have a thing for British men.

Before I can realize it, Louis stormed out of my apartment. I flinched when the door slammed shut, shaking the utensils hanging in the kitchen.

Louis was gone.

What the fuck just happened?

Jessica.

She needs to pay.

Caught in my thoughts, I didn't notice Harry standing there. Harry walked out with his hands on his hips and a grin on his smug face. "How much of that you heard?" I softly asked and walked over to locate my phone. Quickly, I texted Gemma and placed the phone back on the table.

To Gemma:
Find Jessica.

His face was tilted and scrunched, hands in his mess of curls. "Something about a video. Did you make a sex tape? Sorry, I was too busy trying to quietly take off the bedsheet. The bed is so creaky," Harry complained with a playful attitude. Almost enough to make me laugh but Louis couldn't get out of my head.

"Okay. Harry, I need to get to class. Styles is gonna be pissed if I'm late to his class," I sighed with my fingers running through my hair, a sign of frustration. Though my attention peaks at Harry's still body after the mention of my teacher. "Styles?" He questioned with a pale face. I didn't have time to question this shock that he was trying to hide. "Yeah, he's my idiotic Literature professor, a real pain in the ass," I confirmed with an eye roll.

"You attend Blanchard," Harry whispers.

"Yeah..." Something with the way he said it made me confused because it sounded like he already knew that and he just remembered. Whatever, that's impossible. Harry and I met yesterday. He caught on to my suspicion and his eyes widened. "I heard of the teacher! My uh friend graduated there a year ago," He quickly explains. That didn't seem like it.

With a nod, I walked past Harry to enter my bedroom when the reminder I needed more information on him popped up. So I turn around and look at him," Hey, Harry? How old are you?" I questioned. Harry blankly looked at me and with a shoulder shrug, he answered," twenty three."

Oh, so only a two year difference.

Wait, why did I care about our age difference?

With that, I continued on with my morning routine while attempting to keep my chaotic mind at bay. For my outfit, I went with a black shirt tucked in blue high-waisted jeans and a thin grey cardigan over that. Harry was eyeing my vinyl with concentration, his knuckles tracing his jawline, his other hand holding the broomless handle.

Then I got a brilliant idea. He's gonna hate me. Quickly, I jotted down some chores on a sticky note. Harry notices me and with curiosity, he walks over. I handed him it with a cheeky smile.

wash sheets
dishes
dust shelves
cook lunch
Water plants on patio

Maybe that's cruel because he had around three hours to do it only. I grabbed my bag and bolted for the door, not waiting for his reply. "I'm injured in case you forgot!" Harry shouted but my reply was the door shutting. My cheeks hurt from how hard I've been biting them to prevent me from smiling so much. Of course, Louis was still at the back of my mind. In fact, our conversation wasn't going away and I wanted to do something about Jessica.

This morning, I was kinder towards my old red car. I'm sure she appreciated this rare moment. Instead of taking off right away like usual, I texted Louis because it would bug me all through Literature.

To Lou:
Sorry I couldn't say
this earlier but I wasn't
forcing you. It was
unexpected and I
would never force a
victim to admit
something like that.
I'm really sorry, Lou.
Coffee sometime?

His reply was almost instant.

From Lou:
I'm sorry too. Need space,
won't see you for a bit.
Joe is sending me notes.

To Lou:
Okay, stay safe.
I am always here to talk:)

From Lou:
I know.

_♤_

"Can't you tell me?" Gemma pouted. This was her third attempt at getting me to tell her about Louis. "It's not my secret to tell," I said for the third time, more stern this time and she finally gets the message. "Whatever," she sighs paired with a frown.

Jessica couldn't be found.

In fact, this happened two days ago but no one has seen Jessica since last Wednesday, five days ago in the class she shared with Gemma. There's even a missing person's report on her.

Hopefully, someone finds her.

In a ditch.

"How's Lenorah?" I changed the topic. Her recent girl interest was Lenorah Horan of Vabridge Academy. I knew all about her because of Gemma. She had a twin, he was the quarterback of the football team.

Nick Horan I think is his name.

A surge of happiness hits Gemma and her spirit brightens. Her eyes sparkle, the skin a little wrinkled round and under them. "She's such a dream, she's perfection. Is it possible to be in love already? She's just so...perfect. Everything is different with her, you know? It's just...perfect," Gemma gushes, bursting with joy. A pang of sadness hits my chest, I try my best to hide it and suppress the memories floating to the surface.

Sounds like something I used to feel.

"We're planning our second date. I'm serious about this one, Maddie. She's amazing," Gemma continues on to reveal. "Well, I'm happy for you," I truthfully tell her. Gemma's history wasn't the best, though I can tell this one is different.

Unfortunately, she picks up on my sadness. Maybe she thought it was because of Lou but to me, it was about something else I kept buried in the basement of my mind. "Oh, I'm sorry!" She apologizes and grabs my hands in hers. "How about Daph and I come over for a feel better night? I know it's a school night but we can stay over!" Gemma excitedly suggested," and you guys can help plan my outfit for the date because I'm nervous," she continues in one breath.

Bad idea.

Totally, a hugely bad idea.

Reason being the twenty three year old man with uniquely green eyes.

"I can't..." I denied and winced at the disappointment in her eyes. "The semester is ending and I can't let this breakup bother my exams. I'm really sorry, Gem. Weekend though?" I hurriedly explained. "Yeah, sorry I was being irrational. Well, I hope you feel better and I should probably message Lou-" she agrees and shares her other plans.

"No! No, um I don't think you should. I already told you enough and I don't want him to hate me," I interrupted. Gemma sinks in the bench, a frown on her painted lips. "You're killing me today, Madie," She jokes.

"Sorry," I apologized.

"Nah, you're good. See you tomorrow?" Gemma covers her disappointment with hope. "Of course, I'll tell Daph about our weekend plans," I say and we dumped our trash in the bins before separating.

The stupid red car took ten minutes to start. The palms of my hands hurt from slamming the wheel, tips of my fingers pained from twisting the knees so many times and I'm surprised the pedal was still working since I've hammered it with my foot hundreds of times in ten minutes.

Happily, I slammed the door shut and walked to my apartment with my hips swaying in excitement. After fishing the keys from my bag, I unlocked the door. The scent of parmesan cheese floods my nostrils, the divine scent almost makes me moan.

"Harry?" I called cautiously and dropped my bag on the floor next to the door. Pots were on the unlit stove, ingredients messily on the countertop like this morning. "Here," he groans seconds later. I carefully strolled to the living room following his voice to see Harry laying on the floor. His arm was bent in a weird angle, I'm sure it hurt. The rug under him was messed up, wonder if he-

"I tripped."

However, my attention was on the brown, leather briefcase completely filled with wads of hundred dollar bills casually sitting on my coffee table.

Had small talk on repeat while writing this chapter so I wouldn't get pissed at my own characters lol.

I'm so proud of myself for increasing the length every chapter. P.S, Harold's POV is next:)

Thank you for reading!! Your votes and comments are the only thing that keeps me motivated to continue. So please know how much it means to me. I love y'all, stay safe. Until next time, enjoy these I found on Instagram♡

Credits: directioner.ch0nce

Unseen of Harryyy

He's so golden