The loud sound of the boy's locker room jostled all around me as I made my way in through the door. Immediately, I headed over to my usual spot in the corner besides Lucas. 

"Hey man," I greeted as I threw my bag up onto the hook. 

Barely sparing him a glance, I pulled my top up over my head and started to fish around in my bag for my gym clothes.

"Why the hell are you grinning like an idiot?" Lucas piped up. 

I glanced his way in surprise and saw him staring at me with an eyebrow quirked up in amusement.

His question only made my smile grow wider. "Because I had a very special person visit me in the middle of the night," I chuckled, unable to wipe the smile from my face.

Lucas's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Who? Santa Claus?" he snorted.

I rolled my eyes at his stupidness, but still, my smile did not falter. "Nope, guess again. But this time, think hotter," I laughed.

Lucas blinked. "Me?" he guessed, without missing a beat.

 I narrowed my eyes. "No, you idiot. Why the hell would I be talking about you?" I scoffed.

 Lucas held his hands up in the air in defense. "Woah, Woah, Woah, calm down. It was a fair guess. You did say hotter, so it was only fair to assume you were talking about me," he argued as though he was just explaining simple facts.

I didn't even grace him with a response, and just rolled my eyes at him as I pulled my sweatshirt over my head.

"Okay, I give up, who visited you then?" Lucas smiled.

My wide grin returned to my face. "Mia, fucking Collins," I announced proudly.

 Lucas's eyes narrowed suspiciously, and his eyes searched over mine with caution. "Ethan, you know drugs are bad for you, right?" he asked slowly.

I rolled my eyes in frustration. "I'm not on drugs! This really happened! She climbed into my house through my bedroom window, and..and she took my hoodie," I argued.

Lucas gave me a sympathetic smile, the sort of one you might give to a mental-patient. "Mhm, hmm," he hummed, with the slow nod of his head.

I groaned, realizing he was still convinced that I was crazy. "Lucas, I'm-"

He interrupted me with a sigh. "Come on, Ethan, let's take a seat, okay?" he said softly as he put a hand on my shoulder. 

Despite my protest, he gently guided me down until we were both sat down on the changing room bench.

He rubbed my back comfortingly and gave me a weak smile. "Sometimes, when people really really want something, we start to imagine things, and we start to confuse them for reality. Do you understand what I'm saying, Ethan?" he said gently.

"I wasn't fucking imagining it," I snapped out in frustration. 

Lucas sighed. "Yes, you were. Your horny brain made all of this up, and it okay. I'm not going to judge you. I'm just here to give you support, okay," he explained gently.

Finally having enough of this, I whipped my phone out of my jean pocket. "Look, I'll prove it to you," I muttered as I started to swipe around on my phone in search of the security footage video.

He sighed once more. "Ethan, this is just getting sad now, and I really think you should-"

I shoved my phone in his face, and he was immediately silenced as he took in the picture. "Holy shit..," he whispered as he snatched away my phone to get a closer look.

"She actually broke into your house," he mumbled to himself as he watched the screen with widened eyes.

"Yup," I chirped proudly. I'm not sure why, but ever since I found out she did it- I felt strangely accomplished by it. 

I mean, it's not every day that the hottest girl you know crawls through your bedroom window.

Lucas shook his head, finally done with the video. "Damn, your girlfriend is as creepy as you," he laughed as he threw his phone back to me.

My mouth twitched on the word girlfriend, but I didn't bother to correct him. 

"Hey, don't be mean; she's not creepy," I mumbled.

Lucas snickered. "Yeah, true, if you compare her to you, she's definitely not creepy. I can imagine you doing weirder shit than this," he snorted as he ruffled my hair.

"Oi, stop it," I said pushing him away from me jokingly. 

Lucas just chuckled and kicked off his shoes, focusing back on getting changed.

I cleared my throat. "Anyway, guess what she left me?" I smirked.

 He glanced my way. "Her virginity?" Lucas guessed, raising a singular eyebrow.

"No," I snickered, giving him an odd look. 

 Lucas winced. "Oh, yeah, I forgot that shit only happens in your dreams," he mumbled.

The corners of my lips dropped down into a frown. "I already told you, I don't have dreams like that anymore," I snapped. 

"Hhhm, hmm, sure, sure," Lucas drawled, sending me sly unconvinced looks. 

A couple of years ago, he overheard me sleeptalking at summer camp, and ever since he heard me, he hasn't let me hear the end of it. And there was no way in fucking hell I was going to admit I still had them. Friend or not – that shit is just way too embarrassing to share.

I shook my head free of my worries and dug my head into the front pocket of my bag to pull out her phone. 

"She left this on the floor," I smirked.

Lucas's eyes dropped down to the phone in my hand, and the moment he did, his head shot right back up again. 

"Oh dear god, what have you done to that poor girl's phone?" he asked almost immediately with panic in his eyes. 

I laughed lowly, loving that he already knew that I had fucked around with it. "Don't worry, nothing illegal. Just did a few fun things like changing her background pic-" I said as I flashed on the screen.

Lucas absolutely lost his shit; the moment he saw the picture and bent down in laughter. "Ethan, babe-" he laughed as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "I've never been more proud of you," he laughed.

"Wait, till you hear what else I did," I chuckled.

Once we were both changed, and I'd finished telling Lucas the rest of what I did, we made our way over to the gym. The other guys trailed behind us and were soon joined by some of the girls as we passed by the girl's locker room.

As Lucas and I made our way about halfway down the corridor, someone suddenly saddled up beside me; and walked along in stride with me.

I looked over and jumped in surprise as I found a random girl beaming right at me with teeth that were pulled up into a forceful smile. She had ash-brown- hair that was arranged in some fancy half-up- half-down do.

 I stared at her blankly for a couple of seconds and then I recognized her from my Math class as well as a few other classes over the years. I think her name was June or perhaps September; I can't really remember... 

 But, whatever all I knew was that she liked to spark up conversations with me a lot.

"Hey, Ethan, how are you?" she chirped. 

"Good, thanks," I said, forcing a polite smile on my face.

 She giggled; despite the fact, I didn't say anything remotely funny and continued to walk beside me.

 I cleared my throat. "Do you...er...want something?"

I heard Lucas let out a lone snort beside me, and I didn't even need to look in his direction to know he was struggling not to laugh at me. He knew how much I hated weird awkward small talk.

"Yeah, I did actually," she beamed. "You're really smart, Ethan like incredibly smart, so I was wondering if you'd mind tutoring me after school. You know with Math," she said as she softly batted her eyelashes at me.

I humored the idea for all of a nanosecond before immediately shooting down the idea. Call me a dick, but tutoring someone sounded boring as fuck, and besides, she was giving off clear vibes that she wasn't too interested in the studying aspect of the tutoring.

I cleared my throat once more and awkwardly turned back to face her. "I...erm...I'm quite busy so I can't, sorry," I lied quickly.

Her face fell. "Oh," she said, disappointment riddling her tone. Feeling a bit bad for her, I sent a little smile her way. 

"Hey, why don't you ask Mia, she's just as good at Math as me. And she's really kind, so she'll probably say yes," I said honestly.

 Her entire demeanor changed as soon as I said that, and her jaw closed oddly tight. 

"No, that's fine; I'm sure I'll figure something out. See you around," she snapped tightly before turning around and falling back into the crows behind us.

When she was out of hearing distance, I let out an internal sigh of relief and turned back to Lucas, who was smirking his head off at me. 

"What?" I asked, confused why he was looking at me like that.

"I...I...can't..I'm busy," he stammered out quickly, doing a very high pitched and poor imitation of me. "You're such a liar," he laughed.

I slugged him on the shoulder. "Oh shut up," I laughed, rolling my eyes.

The corners of his eyes crinkled in amusement. "You know, I reckon she's as obsessed with you as you are with Mia," he snickered.

I lifted an amused eyebrow. "That's a really bold statement, you know," I said flatly. It was difficult to compete with my level of obsession. At this point, my fixation on her might as well become a medical condition. 

"True, true," Lucas hummed. "Anyway, speaking of Mia, are you going to give her phone back after class?" Lucas asked curiously as we rounded the corner and entered the gymnasium.

I immediately started laughing as though he had said the funniest thing in the world.

 "No, of course not," I snorted. "I'm going to blackmail her first, duh," I said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Lucas let out a long disappointed sigh. "Oh god, what are you going to ask her for this time? Please tell me you're not going to beg her for a kiss again," he groaned as he ran a tired hand down his face.

I immediately froze up. "You heard that..?" I asked slowly; my eyes widening in fear. 

"Yup," he chirped. "It was embarrassing as fuck," he said bluntly.

I felt my face heat up slightly; feeling mortified that he heard that.

 I cleared my throat. "Yeah, whatever," I coughed. "Anyway, do you reckon she even knows I found her phone?" I pondered.

"Giving that she's following your each and every movement, I'm going to go with yes," Lucas snorted as he subtly nodded his head over to the bleachers behind me.

"She's looking at me," I whispered in shock.

Immediately, I whipped my head around and started manically scanning the bleachers. Eventually, my eyes locked in on her, and just like always, those big brown eyes of hers made my heart do a silly little jump. 

 She sat next to Chloe, and she did not look happy. She was as rigid as a board, and I could practically see the fear swimming in her eyes as she eyed me from across the hall.

There was no doubt about it; she knew I had her phone. And, she knew I was fucking crazy. 

To further emphasize this, I looked at her mischievously and sent a wink at her across the hall.

Then, I turned back to Lucas with a chuckle. "I've decided it, if she wants her phone back, she's going to have to come home with me," I announced with a proud smile.

"Erm...not kidnap, right and not permanently, right?" Lucas asked slowly, looking slightly scared himself.

"No," I laughed. "Just one evening, and besides, I won't need to. One day she is giving to live with me," I stated confidently. I had recently adopted the mindset that if I said something with certainty then it was going to come true. 

My therapist suggested that shit, so I thought I might as well try it. Who knows, it might work.

Lucas let out a long whistle. "Boy, that's a lot of confidence," he hummed.

I didn't get a chance to reply before the overly stocky male gym teacher came bumbling in with a cup of hot coffee. He parked his arse down on one of the benches and then started to yell at us to get out the dodgeballs.

Immediately, an excited smile flew to my face, and I slapped Lucas on the shoulder. "Get ready for me to send you on the bench," I teased.

About five minutes into the game, and I felt absolutely sick to my stomach. I could barely bring myself to look at Mia; I felt so guilty. She sat on the far bench with an ice pack held to her head because I had hurt her. I had hurt her. 

What the fuck was wrong with me?

I just saw her looking all cute and confused on the other side of the hall, and I just wanted her to notice me and have a little back and forth with me. So, the moment we made eye contact, I threw the ball at her.

 But the only thing was, she didn't dodge it like I thought she would....

Instead, I hit her bang smack in the forehead, and my heart sank. I didn't even get a chance to see how bad the damage was because she immediately covered it with her hand, and marched over to the cooler in the corner where they kept the ice packs.

I was going to go run over and help her, but she shot me a death glare before I was even half-way there, and I knew not to bother. She didn't want me near her, and that was understandable. 

Who would want someone as violent as me near them?

 I had literally hurt her physically twice now! First six years ago, and now all over again. Nothing had changed – I still wasn't good enough for her.

I could feel the heat of her gaze on the side of her face as I continued to play the game. Swallowing harshly, I couldn't take it anymore and turned her way. 

I recoiled back a little as I saw her glaring at me fiercely with one hand curled up into a tight little fist in her lap, and the other holding up the icepack. Her whole expression felt like a soccer punch to the gut, and I willed myself to not let my pain seep through my expression.

 I couldn't let her get fooled into thinking I was a good person by my expression of guilt. I knew what she was like; she looked too much for the good in people, and it would be dangerous for her to look for the good in me. 

Not right now. 

 I refused to turn her into another version of my mother; she deserved better than that. Everyone deserved better than that.

So, instead of mouthing 'sorry, I'm an idiot' like I wanted to, I just smirked and gave her a small innocent little wave. Which, of course, only added to making me feel more like a piece of shit.

God, I hated myself.

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Author's note: 

So yeah woo, that's that chapter done. Hope you enjoyed. One of my favourite things about writing Ethan's POV is getting to write more Lucas lol. I just love him.

Anyway, the next chapter will probably be a while or not, I don't really know. But please, please, please can people try like pretty please try not to ask me when I'm next going to update. It stresses me out lol.