"Alisa, are you seriously about to eat that?"

I open my third pudding cup, wanting to ignore David's dumb question. Of course I'm gonna eat it. I bought three so I can eat them all. But because I am perpetually nice and I don't think I have a truly bad bone in my body (my conscience fixed all those), all I do is smile at him and stick my spoon inside the cup.

"Of course I am." I tell him gently.

"Your teeth are like, gonna die." He says.

I bark out a laugh and eat my pudding cup. David shrugs as I finish it off and wait for Ethan to bring me more.

Ethan comes around with three more pudding cups and places two in front of me, taking the last one for himself. A part of me wants to know why he thought that was a good idea but I just leave it, because I can't be bothered to deal with him right now. And I really don't want to argue with him because we're going to go roller skating after drama club today, and I don't wanna ruin that whole experience either.

So I just open my fourth pudding cup and eat it glumly. When my teeth go rotten, I'll be sure to shout out this moment.

"Girl, you good?" I look up and see Sarah and Savannah walking by, holding their lunch trays. They share a look and then stare at me, alarmed.

"Nope. I like your new braids." I say and turn away as she says thanks.

"There's something wrong with Alisa?" Janet asks innocently. Next to her, Anthony rolls his eyes and sighs loudly.

"Can you not see the girl's been eating her weight in chocolate pudding? That's not something someone who was feeling one hundred would do." He snaps. She glares at him, her teddy bear like demeanour turning grizzly.

"Well, excuse me!" She snaps. The two of them begin arguing in hushed whispers.

I take another spoonful of pudding and make space for Sarah and Savannah. They sit on either side of me, much to Ethan's distaste, and watch, still alarmed.

"I thought the two of them were like the perfect couple... What happened?" Savannah asks.

"I'm not entirely sure... literally two days after we started this semester, they had an argument over freaking PlayStation's and ever since then, they haven't stopped. " I explain.

It's kinda sad, actually. Janet keeps brushing it away whenever I try to bring it up and often acts like Anthony doesn't exist when he's with us. Otherwise, the two of them argue. It's been almost a month of this and I'm really worried but there's not much I can do when she won't tell me the real reason they keep picking fights with each other.

"Anyway!" Janet says loudly, her cheeks flushed. "Alisa, what's wrong with you?"

I shrug. "Apparently everything."

Ethan peeks over Savannah's body. "On a normal day, I'd agree in public but you know that's not true." I stick my tongue out at him and he winks.

Still upset, I go to open my fifth and final pudding cup but Sarah confiscates it from me. "Hey!"

"You can eat this when you tell us why everything is wrong with you."

I reach for it but she chucks it at David, who has been minding his business next to a very pissed off Anthony. It's still really weird seeing him mad.

"Don't eat that." I warn him. He opens it and starts eating it anyway. I roll my eyes as someone prods my shoulder and turn back to the matter at hand. "I'm just... I don't know, feeling bad."

"Girl, don't do that." Savannah says.

"Do what? Ethan, could you get me another –"

"No." He says flatly. I pout. He can't see me so it doesn't work. So I pout by myself.

"Alisa! What is it?"

"I'm fine." I say.

"You literally just said you were feeling bad." Sarah says. "Tell us. We are your friends."

I look around the table, at Ethan who I can barely see, at Janet who is side-eyeing Anthony, at David who is enjoying my pudding cup and at Sarah and Savannah who are staring at me expectantly, waiting for my answer. And I figure that maybe I should tell them what's got me feeling like a failure. After all, Sarah is right, they are my friends. Even David, who really shouldn't be eating my pudding cup.

"You know, you can open up to us, Alisa." Anthony says gently.

"Oh my God, don't push the girl! She doesn't have to tell you anything, Anthony!" Janet snaps on him.

Never mind.

My friends pretty much abandon the issue of me and my bad mood in order to appease Janet and Anthony's sudden problem. After I help Sarah and Savannah escape, I get Janet and go to the bathroom, trying to think of a way to appease the situation. However, she won't tell me anything. Instead, she just paces in front of the mirrors with a mean look on her face.

"Janet, what's wrong?!" I ask, for like the fifth time.

"He's just so... ugh! Alisa." She stops pacing and stops in front of me. "He's just getting on my nerves - like, does he have to be so intrusive and such a smartass all the time?! I don't get why he breathes the way he does or why he – he thinks that – ugh, I just need a break from him, I just need to get as far away from him as possible until right before graduation when he can go back to being my sweet and caring and non-controlling boyfriend!"

I blink at her as she takes several deep breaths. "Do you want a hug?"

"No, I just want Anthony to get over himself. But I'll take a hug if that's what you want to offer me."

Without much prompt, Janet squeezes me into a hug. At first I'm overwhelmed but I push that away to hug her back.

"When'd you start feeling like he was controlling?" I ask gently.

She sighs as she lets go of me. "It was like right after we came back... he just –"

The door to the bathroom opens and unfortunately, Jessica and a bunch of her friends come inside, giggling and laughing about who cares what. I feel a headache coming on, especially when she spots the two of us and her eyes light up. Life was much easier when she pretended like we didn't know each other.

"Oh hey girls!" She says, giggling. Her friends eye us up wearily and I do the same.

"Hi." I say when it's clear Janet is not about to say anything and it gets rapidly more awkward in here. "Um, how are you?"

"Good! Actually, I was just hanging with Ella outside – who has totally been badmouthing you, Alisa, she's told like half the grade you stole Ethan from her. Is that true?"

"No." Janet interrupts. "Ethan never liked her in the first place."

I raise my eyebrows as Jessica shares a mischievous look with her friends. "Oh really? She told me that they were practically dating."

Janet snorts. "That's just not true. He's been sending smouldering looks to Alisa ever since he showed up after summer."

If I scream –

"Actually, I don't know if-"

"She's so deluded. She spent the whole winter break desperately attached to his hip and then threw a tantrum when she found out that Ethan actually liked Alisa." She complains.

"Oh, really?" Jessica looks as though she's mentally taking note of all this. The expression on her face makes me feel nauseous but then that might just be because I ate so many pudding cups.

"Yeah, really." Janet babbles, really in her element. "I told her a bunch of times that she was being embarrassing but she didn't get the memo. And then she got her heart broken when she found out he and Alisa first kissed! It's an evil world."

"Janet, shut up!"

"Why? Ella told me a few weeks ago that she'd never be my friend again for choosing your side or something! I can say whatever I like –" The warning bell goes off, interrupting her but it really doesn't matter because Jessica seems very appeased. I just face palm, wondering why the heck this is happening.

"Well girls! It was a short conversation, but I'm glad we had it." She says smugly. This whole issue is doing nothing to improve my mood. "Keep in touch, 'kay?"

Suddenly all smiles, Janet waves goodbye as she leaves the bathroom. I just can't believe that any of this happened. She notices the confused expression on my face as the last bell goes and we leave for class.

"What?" She asks.

"Why did you say all that to Jessica of all people?!"

She snorts. "You're still being loyal and nice to Ella after she treated you like booty butt cheek for four months? And revoked your what, six year friendship over some boy that didn't like her? Alisa, come on."

"I don't care about any of that. We shouldn't even be talking about her at all." I sigh.

"You are too nice." She says as we reach her classroom. "Fine, whatever. But I didn't lie."

I don't get to know what's up with Janet as I barely see her for the rest of the school day. Drama club passes by pretty uneventfully too and before I know it, I'm stumbling in the rink while holding onto Ethan's hand super tightly. I don't remember why I agreed to go skating with him when I know and he knows that I can't skate to save my life.

"Alisa, ease up on you grip, would you?" He says. I tighten my grip. "Ow!"

"Wimp." I stick my tongue out at him and then stumble. "Whoops!"

"That's what you get for causing me pain." He grumbles. But then he links arms with me and I get to hold his bicep instead. "Why are you so bad at this again?"

"My legs just don't... do it." I whine. He just drags me along and I stumble after him, trying to keep up with his ungodly skating pace and failing to do so.

Ethan takes me for ice cream when he's tired of picking me off the rink. We sit in the parlour and talk, and I start feeling okay again.

"Hey, you should try this." I raise my spoon for Ethan to try some of my mango and passion fruit ice cream. He opens his mouth and I move my arm until the spoon is in his mouth. "How does it taste?"

He licks his lips thoughtfully. "It's alright, I guess. Mine's better."

"There's no way in hell." I say, staring grimly at his mint chocolate chip. "I don't understand you, or your love for mint chocolate."

"It's good." He protests.

"It's just... not." I say. Defiantly, Ethan takes a big spoonful of his ice cream and puts it into his mouth. I wonder if I should warn him about brain freeze but I don't.

He feels the effects of it of course, and the expression on his face is pretty much worth it. I start giggling, taking a few small spoons of my own ice cream while his eye twitches and he looks pretty sick.

"You just let me do that." Ethan says, clearly offended.

"I'm not your mom, I wouldn't tell you what to do." I say nonchalantly.

"Yeah but you're – never mind." He grumbles while I eat my ice cream triumphantly. We settle into a silence and I feel grateful that Ethan's hanging out with me. My bad mood's still lurking but it's hard to think about negative things when I'm with him.

The silence lingers longer than usual and I sense that Ethan's got something on his mind. I just decide to wait for him to bring it up instead of probing.

"Is that why you were upset at lunch time?" He asks out of the blue. I do like my ice cream and freeze. "You know, 'cuz you're not my... you know."

It takes me a while to understand what he's talking about but I shake my head when I realise. "No, that's not really an issue with me, if I'm honest."

"Oh." He bites his bottom lip and waits a beat. "Then what was it?"

I shrug and train my eyes on my ice cream, feeling my cheeks warm. "I was just... college." I say slowly. He relaxes but then tenses up again. "I haven't heard anything back from any of the schools I applied to."

"Oh. Oh, shit, not even So-Cal?" I shake my head. "No audition, no nothing? Well that sucks."

"Right?!" I blow air upwards. "And it's not like they've even let me know if I'm on a waiting list or whatever. All I've gotten is silence, and I'm really worried because it's almost February, Anthony's already halfway through his recruitment process with Julliard and I feel like I'm just - here."

Feeling dejected all over again, I pout at my ice cream. Ethan reaches over the table and touches my hand, eventually holding it.

"Hey, don't stress out." He says gently. "Anthony's a freak first of all, and he plays like four instruments –"

"Actually, he plays six."

"For real?!" I nod. "Well, he's a freak of nature, so yeah, no wonder he's halfway through that process already. But you? You're special, Alisa. They're all just trying to figure out how to maintain your brilliance on their campuses."

"You think so?" I ask helplessly.

"I know so, sweetie."

"How do you know?"

"I mean –" He leans back and gestures to himself. "I'm Ethan Adams, how wouldn't I know?"

Despite the fact I'm feeling glum, this makes me laugh. Ethan grins at me and we settle down, finishing my ice cream. "Thanks, Ethan."

He smiles at his mint chocolate chip ice cream, but I know it's for me.

"Are you free Sunday night?" Ethan asks as I get out of his car. I shrug.

"My brother's home this weekend, he'll probably want to do something so I'm unsure." I tell him. "But I'll let you know, he might cancel on me to talk to his girlfriend."

"Ergh. Girlfriends." Ethan mimes throwing up. I have half a mind to hit him but then he smiles at me. "I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"I hope you can go a night without texting me."

He scoffs. "You know I can't do that. Bye 'Leese."

I wave a goodbye as he goes to park across the street, and head inside my house. My mom's doing yoga in front of the television and my dad's watching a Maury re-run on the television. I sit down beside him and he instantly puts his arm around my shoulder.

"Have fun with Ethan?" He asks.

"Yeah, we went roller skating and then for ice cream." I say, snuggling into him. "Hey mom? Do we have any pudding cups?"

a/n:

anyone who knows me knows how horrible I've been feeling for the past 3 months, what with everything that's gone on, and writing was literally the last thing on my mind. I'm super sorry to all of you for the wait and lack of communication since March. I hope you enjoyed this chapter !!! next one coming soon and I meaN that

let's get it