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iam17diamond -- Oh Ma Ri
Soongyoung of Seventeen

Oh Ma Ri's P.O.V

"Mom, tell him am coming!" I replied after mom told me that Soonyoung was waiting out side to walk with me to college like every day.

My childhood friend and my crush stood across me as I went out, his hands shoved into his pockets.

"Anyong oppa!" I greeted him "oh, Mari yah" he said looking at me before smiling.

My heart went beating fast at the simple gesture "let's go" he instructed holding out his hands for me.

My heart was pounding in my chest, I kept telling myself that it's not the first time and that's it's okay.

I kept telling myself over and over again that he only thinks of me as his little sister, but my feelings were way too strong to vanish by that.

I held his awaiting hand before we started walking, I tried to hide my flushed cheeks by looking away from him and hopefully he didn't notice.

"Did you study well?" He asked, the calculus examination we are having today took over all my sleep.

"Yup" I nodded and yawned.

"You didn't sleep!?" He suddenly stopped walking and looked at me.

I stared at him blankly before nodding reluctantly, he immediately cupped my cheeks and looked into my face. My heart beated erratically again, I really hope he won't feel the heat from my cheeks on his hands.

"Look at your eyes, you look tired. I told you not to stay up late before, now you didn't even sleep?!" He scolded scanning my face.

I pulled his hands down "it's okay oppa, I'm fine" I said looking up front to resume walking.

He stood infront of me blocking my way "what is wrong?" I asked dumbfounded, he gave me his back before kneeling down.

"Oppa? What are you doing people are looking at you!" I whispered to him feeling the eyes on us.

"Hop on" he demanded.

"What? Why? No get up oppa" I said trying to pull him up but failed miserably.

"I don't want you to feel tired, you can sleep on my shoulder till we reach college" he offered, I felt my heart killed itself before killing me. Yet I was still alive. Don't ask.

"If you won't get up I will stay here forever" he said in a challenging tone, he was stone headed and I knew it. And that left me with no choice.

"Okay" I said annoyingly, not that I don't want that to happen. It's just that I feel sorry for my dear heart, I'm not sure if I will be able to survive this.

He stood up straight lifting me up on his back along, I blushed abruptly before securing my arms around his neck.

"Wasn't too hard was it?" He said as I rolled my eyes "I saw that" he snapped.

I don't know when or how, but I really dozed off on his shoulder.

"Mari yah" I woke up to Soonyoung's soft voice, I was still on his back before I fluttered my eyes open. I can't believe I actually slept.

I got off him quickly "sorry" I said, he chuckled as I rolled my eyes and looked around. We were already infront of college.

"See, told you you need to rest" he said proudly, I couldn't help but roll my eyes again.

"Yeah right, let's go Mr.Genius" I said walking past him as he followed throwing an arm over my shoulder.

We took the exam and I didn't doze off before I finished, yeah I did sleep after I was done. I woke up before the time was up by ten minutes and started revising one last time.

"How was it?" Soonyoung asked me as we exited the examination hall.

"It was fine" I answered.

He looked at me closely with suspecting eyes, I backed away looking away to hide my flushed cheeks "are you sure?" He asked arms crossed.

"Sure" I answered bluntly walking ahead as he shortly followed. Exam days are short, we just take the exam of the day then leave.

"Are we leaving now?" I asked.

"Yeah I think so, do you want to stay?" He asked.

"No, I want to go home and sleep" I replied walking lazily.

"Do you want a lift?" He asked before I smacked him.

"No I don't want a lift" I mocked, we continued walking as we talked about random stuff we were a few blocks away from home when Soonyoung stopped at his tracks with his breath becoming heavy.

"I have something to do, you text me when you reach home" he said grimacing.

I didn't have the chance to ask any questions as he abruptly ran off.

I walked back home and sent him a text, he already did that a couple of times recently and again he didn't reply back immediately but hours later like usual in such situation.

I felt suspicious every time he did that, but there was nothing I could do. He would always act all sweet making me forget to even confront him about it.

The next day we had another exam, one of my most hated subjects, but I knew I will take long studying for it so I already prepared before which helped in leaving time for me to sleep.

Soonyoung oppa didn't come pick me up today, and it was rather odd. He did reply my text later yesterday but then I didn't hear from him.

Mrs.Kwan called telling mom that he won't be able to pick me up, she told me he will join me later in college.

I obeyed and just went, I didn't want to make it too much of a deal although it really worried me.

As soon as I reached college I started looking around for him, he wasn't there but I just kept looking around refusing the fact that he is no where to be found.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around in response, I found no one on my left, the side I got the tap, so I turned to the other side to see Soonyoung's face inches apart from mine smiling.

His face certainly looked paler than usual, I giggled at his cute gesture as he came standing beside me "why didn't you come pick me up?" I asked "I didn't sleep well so mom left me sleep for a while more, sorry" he said scratching his head.

"Are you okay?" I asked coming closer to him, he abruptly took a step away. When I was close to him I smelled something, something strong, like pills, hospital and the like.

I frowned an my suspicion "I'm totally okay" he laughed nervously, we heard the bell which stopped me from asking more questions again. The timing is always great, my luck.

"Let's go!" He said holding my hand, my feelings for him became stronger day by day and it was getting to me, I was soon to lose control.

The same things happened again today, he left me a block away from home and rushed to somewhere. I frowned again confused and worried.

At mid of my studying I suddenly remembered the odd things I kept on noticing on him, even once during an exam he started coughing hard then I'm not really sure but he put something into his mouth before drinking water.

I frowned, I felt like I don't know something, something huge. And that left me terrified. I should follow him tomorrow, I must know what is going on. I went back to studying with my mind in chaos.

The next morning our routine went totally fine, but certainly today I noticed that Soonyoung oppa's face is turning paler and paler everyday. I felt confused, his voice and his actions calmed, he seldom dances or plays football with his friends and won't joke around much as before either.

And maybe it's my imagination but his marvelous smell changed to that of hospital's, he always smells like pills and medications. I keep on telling myself that's just mere hallucination since my brain failed to find a logic explanation to this.

"I'm really sorry Mari yah, I have to go, text me!" He said then walked away. I turned to go home in confusion when I remembered. I really need to know what's going on, I need to.

I shortly followed him, he walked and walked till he sat on a stair case. I hid behind a pole and watched closely.

His chest was wildly moving up and down, it looked like he was breathing heavily-- no it looked like he wasn't able to breath well. My heart trembled at the sight.

He coughed erratically his face went red, mine went yellow.

My eyes rounded as I stared at him, frozen in shock, I tried to move but I was too afraid. Then I saw him taking out his phone and called someone, he stopped coughing but still clinched his chest hard.

Shortly I saw Mrs.Kwan, his mother, run to him before taking him into her car. I bet they went to the hospital, I was here not able to move a muscle.

I felt so afraid and my heart started beating erratically followed by my breath.

What I just saw now killed half of me, why is Soonyoung oppa so sick? What is happening to him? Why is he hiding it from me?

I couldn't really go after their car since I was back to my senses too late, I walked back home with a load of anxiety occupying my head.

There were no exams tomorrow to my luck, cause even if there were I wouldn't have possibly studies in such state. I tried calling Soonyoung many many times also leaving voicemails and texts but he didn't reply any.

The next day mom told me again that he won't be able to walk with me, her eyes were puffy and when I asked her what is wrong she flustered and told me that she just didn't sleep well. I didn't buy it but I was not in state to argue.

I took off on my own walking through the streets Soonyoung and I used to walk in together, it's like he was every where. I could hear his voice, see his smile, even feel his touch. I do really love him, I have feelings for him--- no my feeling are for him. But I'm sure that's not mutual, in his eyes I'm nothing but a sister.

I reached college and started looking around yearning for him and feeling the need for the explanation of what I saw yesterday.

I felt someone hug me from behind, I was took off guard for an instant as my body tensed. I turned my head slightly to the side, it was Soonyoung. My body automatically softened but his grip tightened around me, now I felt something was wrong.

"What is wrong oppa?" I asked a smile playing in my face, he didn't reply instead secured his arms around me deepening his head in my shoulder.

"Just stay like this for a while, don't leave" he said turning me around and hugging me tighter to his chest.

I felt confused but hugged him back nevertheless, I patted his back "I am always here for you oppa, you won't leave me as well right?" I asked giggling.

He broke the hug and looked into my eyes attentively, his lips were lighter than usual same for his skin tone "I'm sorry" he said before hugging me abruptly again, this time tighter.

I felt him sniff, heard him sob, and felt my shirt wet over my shoulder. I trembled "what is wrong oppa? Why are you apologizing?" I asked.

"I'm sorry I'm too late, sorry I am going to hurt you, sorry I hid my feelings, sorry for everything" he said in his groggy muffled voice not letting go of the hug.

I was dumbstruck "what are you saying oppa?" I asked my voice cracked. He let go of the hug yet his arm still wrapped strongly around my waist.

"I love you,-- I have feelings for you Mari" he said looking into my eyes, "and I'm sorry am telling you now, I'm sorry for everything" he said before leaning in and kissing my lips.

I couldn't move, everything was too much for me to handle. All of it came at once.

He ended the kiss before hugging me again "I- I love you too Soonyoung" I muttered

"I'm sorry, Mari" he mumbled in my hair kissing it.

"What are you sorry for? You are scaring me" I asked, before he can reply I felt his weight heavier on me.

"Oppa? What is wrong?" I asked him, he didn't reply as he was fully leaning on my, his arm went lose around my my waist and the hand caressing my hair fell to his side.

"Oppa?" I received no reply, that's when it hit me. Soonyoung passed out, I held him tighter as every single part of my body trembled.

I began shouting for help as I fell to the floor along with him, my heart was tormented from the sight of him laying helpless on the ground while his head was on my lap.

Soon the ambulance came and took us to the hospital, to my surprise Mrs.Kwan was already there. She looked pale like she was crying and not only crying for the past couple of days.

The doctors took Soonyoung into the emergency room and left me with Mrs.Kwan, tears were uncontrollably rolling down my cheeks.

"What is happening?" I asked her in between my loud sobs.

"He said not to tell you no matter what, now you saw for yourself. My son is sick Mari ya, he only has a couple of more days to live. I don't know what to do" she said crying as my eyes rounded.

"What are you saying? This is not true!" I shouted hysterically, he just said he loves me too.

Then it all hit me, his paling look, his change of attitude, him leaving, him not being able to answer my texts at times. It all came in like a train, fast, hard, painful, deadly and all at once.

I fell to the floor, my whole body was shaky, I began screaming and sobbing loudly as tears refused to stop.

My pain was enlarging by the second, I felt my heartache stronger than ever, I felt my brain cells destroying themselves.

Hours later and my cheeks were still wet, I was terrified. The doctor came out as Mrs.Kwan and I abruptly walked up to him.

"How is he!?" We asked simultaneously. The doctor's face expression wasn't too appeasing at all which added of fear to me.

"He is awake now, you can visit but not for long" the doctor said in a gloomy tone as I quickly rushed in, Mrs.Kwan was going to follow me but the doctor held her saying he wanted to tell her something and I didn't care the less, I need to see him now.

I went in to find Soonyoung oppa so pale on the bed "Mari ya" he said quietly doing his best to smile.

I couldn't help but immediately hug him crying in his chest "it not true right? Tell me it's not true, tell me you are just sick for a couple of days then you are going to leave this place and walk me to college everyday like the usual, tell me you aren't going to leave me-- Don't leave me" I said sobbing uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry Mari" he muttered with his voice audibly cracked.

"I didn't ask you to tell me you are sorry! tell me you won't leave me alone, please" I begged as I let go of the hug to look into his face.

He took a strand of my hair putting it behind my ear before caressing my cheek and wiping my tears.

"My heart will stay with you" he muttered giving me a sad smile "I will love you for eternity" he said as my tears went heavier.

"Don't leave me oppa please! I can't live without you!" I pleaded crying, he pulled me into a hug.

"Live for my ever lasting love, Mari" he said caressing my hair and rubbing my back "live for me, if you love me stay strong" he said.

"No oppa no, I can't-- just don't leave me! Don't leave!" I shouted before I felt his touch go lose on my hair, and his arm sequentially drop off my back "I will love you for eternity" he muttered in my ears lastly.

"No! No oppa! Stay with me! Don't leave!" I shouted my tears running down heavier, my brain refused to believe that his figure was lying there near me, lifeless.

Don't leave me, I love you.

~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn't easy for me to end it like this you know, but it's requested as tragedy. I know it's not good and rather cliché, so take this-- Sorry. Hope it somehow satisfied your expectancy though. And again, sorry if it didn't.

As you can tell, am not a seventeen fan but they got me. Their dance moves and just everything! Ugh! I was checking them out--- opps that came out wrong, I mean I was looking them up --ugh anyway!-- to get in the mood for writing and know my character abit and I was certainly not preparing to give my life away. But yeah, I lost it.

So see you then? See you then. Lol.
Enjoy and support~~