⚠TRIGGER WARNING⚠: This chapter contains depression and a suicide attempt. If you can't take those sort of things, don't read this chapter!

Chapter 23 | Fight to survive: the story of Arabella Hashimoto

Eight years ago

January 29th, 2008
~Third Person POV~

The rain poured down with no mercy upon the little girl and her family.

The little girl's mother held her and her younger brother's hands while gripping the umbrella tightly.

It had been a month since his passing. But to the little girl, it felt like it was only yesterday.

She was close to her father, closer than she was to her mother. They just had a better connection.

The little girl had loved her father up to the bitter end, up until he died.

On December 29th, 2007, Hiro Hashimoto, father of Arabella and Daniel Hashimoto, husband of Nina Hashimoto, died of cancer.

Arabella's entire family was devastated over the loss, none more than Arabella herself.

The rain poured down harder. The Hashimoto family was at the funeral, wishing that Hiro hadn't died, wishing that he'd never been diagnosed with cancer in the first place.

But all that didn't matter, it had happened anyway.

Too late to go back now.

It all started on that day--the day her father died--that day, Arabella's life took a turn for the worst.

The entire Hashimoto family grieved for months over Hiro's death; Arabella was sure they would never get over it.

But, that was before her mother met him.

One year later

Arabella's mother met Robert.

At first, Robert was just some guy her mother worked with; nothing important.

Then, out of nowhere, he asked Nina out on a date.

After a year of grieving over her late husband, she felt that it was time to get out there again, to try and find someone new.

So, she accepted and they went out.

Eventually, over time, it became a thing; they dated for three weeks before they became a couple.

Then, they were a couple for about seven months before Robert did something no one thought he would do--he proposed to Nina, he asked her to marry him.

To Arabella's shock, Nina said yes and agreed to marry Robert.

That's where things really took a turn for the worst.

After they were married, Robert began coming home either angry, drunk, or both. And, every time he did, he would beat Nina and Arabella. Some times senseless.

Eventually, both Arabella and her mother got used to these beatings and even expected them.

However, Daniel never had to experience what it was like to get beaten, because Arabella protected him; whenever he did something that angered Robert, Arabella took the fall and made sure he never had to suffer one single beating.

Because she suffered all of them for him.

The Hashimoto family got used to living in fear; they were in a cage from which they could never escape.

Robert threatened them day and night, saying that if one of them called the police, he'd kill them in cold blood.

And, none of them doubted him, either.

~Arabella, age nine~

Robert slapped Arabella so hard that her cheek turned blood-red. Arabella stumbled back from the slap and crashed against the wall.

Robert stormed up to her before he punched her; Arabella felt Robert's fist connect with her jaw and heard the horrid crunch from the impact of the blow.

Arabella coughed, gagged, and spat out blood on the carpet.

Robert then yanked Arabella up by her hair so hard that Arabella felt as if he might actually pull her hair out. "Listen, you little rat," Robert hissed. "If you even THINK about telling the police about what's going on here, I just might decide to punish your mother, or better yet, your BROTHER."

So, the Hashimoto family told no one, and for years, this continued.

And, when they were out in public, they had to make sure they seemed like a perfectly normal, happy, American family.

They had to smile, like everything was alright.

But, these smiles were fake, deep down they were masking their misery.

~Arabella, age ten~

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

Arabella's alarm went off in shrieking wake-up calls.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

Arabella sighed and hit the snooze.

She immediately trudged out of bed and got ready for school.

After she was completely ready, she quietly went into Daniel's room.

She shook him awake.

"Danny, wake up. We've got to go. Robert will be up soon." she whispered.

Daniel stirred and sat up. "Okay..."

"Hurry up and get ready. Let's go." Arabella said before she left his room and went into the kitchen.

She began making their lunches.

She was just finishing when Daniel arrived in the kitchen. "I'm ready." he said.

Arabella smiled before she grabbed her and her brother's backpacks and lunches. She handed her brother's belongings to him.

Daniel took them from her. "Let's hurry up and leave before he wakes up and sees us." he whispered.

Arabella nodded.

Daniel pointed up at his sister. "You've still got that black eye from yesterday."

Arabella nodded again before she slipped on a pair of sunglasses. "I know. I also still have the bruises too; I dug into Mom's cover-up and hid them as best as I could. Are they that noticeable?"

Daniel shook his head. "No. I can hardly see them."

"Good. Now, let's leave. Hurry." Arabella said before she and her brother rushed out of the house.

Soon, they were on the bus and headed to school.

When they got there, they got off the bus and Arabella escorted Daniel to his second-grade classroom.

After that, she went to her fourth-grade classroom.

She pulled up the hood of her hoodie and went inside.

After the teacher finished up the first lesson, it was time for lunch and the teacher dismissed everyone.

Arabella stayed behind to gather up all her things for lunch.

"Arabella."

Arabella stopped what she was doing. Her teacher approached her.

"Yes, ma'am?" she whispered shyly. Arabella usually never talked.

"You know the school policy for hoods. Remove it, please." the teacher said with a sigh.

Arabella removed her hood.

"And your sunglasses." the teacher continued.

Arabella stood still.

The teacher gave her a look. "Arabella."

Arabella sighed and reluctantly removed her sunglasses.

When she did, her teacher gasped.

"Arabella! What happened to your eye??? Where did you get it???" Arabella's teacher exclaimed. Her teacher looked closer. "And is that makeup?" She rubbed the cover-up off Arabella's cheek and gasped again when she saw the bruises. "Arabella! What happened to you??? You're all beat up!"

"It's--It's FINE, ma'am. I just... ran into a tough part of the neighborhood and some kids jumped me. I'm okay." Arabella lied.

"Are you SURE? Every day, you come here more beat up than the last. I'm starting to worry, sweetie. Is there anything else going on? Like, at HOME?" her teacher said.

Arabella gulped. "Uh, no. It's just the neighborhood kids...! That's ALL." she studdered.

"If you're getting bullied, I can just call your parents and--"

"Actually, there's no need for that! I'm fine, REALLY. Plus, they're always so busy! I wouldn't want to interrupt them." Arabella cut her teacher off.

The teacher sighed. "If you're absolutely sure..."

Arabella nodded. "I'm sure."

"Okay, I guess I'll just let it go... But, if you ever need to talk, my door's always opened." her teacher said.

Arabella nodded again. "Of course."

Of course, Arabella never went to anyone for help; she didn't want to burden people with her personal problems.

Plus, both her mother and Robert made her swear not to tell a soul about her real life.

And, she never did.

She kept the secret for as long as she had to. Both her mother and Daniel made sure to keep it as well.

Even if that very secret tore her apart from the inside.

Arabella thought she'd have to keep the secret forever, that no matter how hard it might be, she'd have to do it anyway.

What she didn't know is that wasn't the case.

Five years later

Arabella got shoved around the halls of school, her high school.

She was constantly bullied at school and had to work to keep her bruises and black eyes hidden from everyone else.

After school ended, she picked up Daniel, and trudged home.

When they got there, they witnessed Robert beating their mother.

Arabella immediately sent Daniel up to his room.

Robert stopped beating Nina when he saw Arabella. He stormed up to her. "Why are you late from school?! HUH?!" he shouted before he slapped Arabella to the ground. Arabella whimpered a bit and winced.

Nina watched as her daughter fell to the ground. "Stop it, Robert! Just stop it!" she shouted.

Robert immediately spun around. "Shut the hell up, Nina! You know good and well what happens when you speak against me!" Then he punched Nina in the jaw and she went down.

Arabella watched as her mother was beaten senseless, tears streamed down her cheeks.

"STOP!!!" she screamed, watching her mother getting beaten. "Please, STOP!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arabella trudged upstairs, her eyes red and cheeks stained from crying. She had one hand over her black eye, the one Robert had just given her an hour ago.

I can't take it anymore... I just can't... Arabella thought to herself before she went to her room and shut the door. There's no stopping it... It's been happening for years now, and no one's going to stop it...

It feels like there's just no reason for anything anymore; there's no reason to cry, no reason to hope, no reason to desperately call for help...

No reason to live. No reason to breathe.

There's just no reason for anything anymore. Arabella thought as she sniffled and wiped her tears away. No reason live anymore...

No reason to live.

No reason to take it.

Not anymore. Arabella stood up, still crying a bit, and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen.

When she was done writing, she was shaking and crying as hot tears ran down her cheeks.

Then, she taped the piece of paper to her bedroom door before she exited her bedroom.

She stood and faced her door before she whispered, "I'm sorry... Please forgive me for no being strong enough, Danny and Mom..." Then, she stepped away from her door and entered the bathroom.

Meanwhile, her brother, Daniel, made his way out of his room and to Arabella's.

He was about to enter it when he saw the piece of paper.

He read it.

Dear Danny and Mom,

Every day I watch as he beats you, Mom. And every day I think it can't get any worse than it already has.

I'm wrong every time.

Danny, you're young and shouldn't be going through this at all... Most kids your age still have their fathers and don't worry every day about getting beaten.

Every day, I hope, wish, and pray for all of it to have never happened; Dad never died, Mom never married Robert, we're all still a happy, regular American family...

Then, I realized no matter how much I hope and wish and pray, nothing is ever going to happen, and nothing is ever going to change.

There's no reason to keep living like this.

There's no reason to keep living at all.

Mom and Danny, I love you more than words can describe, and I'm sorry for doing this; I thought I was strong enough, but I'm not. I can't take it anymore and I hope one day you forgive me for what I did.

I love you both SO MUCH, and I hope you both do fine without me.

Eternally yours,

Arabella Hashimoto

When Daniel finished reading it, he gasped as tears sprung up in his eyes.

He immediately ran into his mother's room. "MOM!!!" he screamed.

Robert went to the bar so they were left alone for the time being, and Nina was trying her best to mend her wounds, like she always did after a beating.

When her son bursted into her room, she immediately looked up. "What is it, Daniel???" she asked, alarmed.

"It's Arabella!!! She left a note on her door and I read it, it's for you and me!!! I'm so scared, Mom, I'm so scared!!!" Daniel shouted.

"What? Arabella left a note??? What kind of note??? What are you saying???" Nina asked.

Daniel gulped down tears. "Mom... I think she's going to kill herself..." he mumbled, terrified.

Nina's eyes widened as wide as they've ever gone before. "Oh God..." she whispered, completely shocked.

Then, she immediately, as fast as lightning, sprang up and out of her bed. "ARABELLA!!!" she screamed before she ran out of her room. Daniel followed.

They both ran and searched the entire upstairs.

Daniel checked the last room of the upstairs, the hallway bathroom.

He yanked the door open to find Arabella crying, hunched over a bottle of pills in her hands, desperately trying to pry the lid off but failing.

He gasped and screamed before he lunged at his sister and latched his fingers on to the pill bottle and tried to yank it out of Arabella's hands; they both struggled for a bit before their mother heard their screams and ran into the bathroom.

Nina tried to restrain Arabella while Daniel tried to take the pill bottle from her, when he couldn't pry it from her grasp, he went to the last resort--he bit her hand.

Arabella screamed and dropped the bottle; the lid popped off, sending all the pills inside of it spilling all over the bathroom floor.

Daniel suddenly noticed that bottle wasn't the only one Arabella had gotten into; he saw an empty pill bottle on the bathroom counter.

He gasped. "Mom, WE'RE TOO LATE!" he shouted.

And, as if on cue, Arabella stirred and began vomiting all over the bathroom floor.

Daniel and Nina screamed and cried as Arabella vomited, when Arabella was done vomiting, she lost consciousness and passed out in her mother's lap.

"Daniel, CALL 911, NOW!!!" Nina screamed. Daniel immediately obeyed, ran downstairs and into the kitchen, grabbed the phone, and called 911.

"This is 911, what is your situation?"

Daniel gripped the phone tightly. "This is Daniel Hashimoto, I live on Santa Fey Drive, the third house on your right! My sister is trying to kill herself! Please help us!!! I don't know if she's okay!!!"

"Stay where you are. We're on our way."

Daniel nodded, although they couldn't see him. "Okay! Just, PLEASE HURRY!!!" he shouted, scared. Then 911 hung up.

Minutes later, an ambulance arrived with two police cars with it.

The EMTs rushed inside the house, got Arabella on to a stretcher, led her outside and into the ambulance.

Nina and Daniel got into one of the police cars and drove behind the ambulance and to the hospital.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The doctor entered the waiting room. "Arabella Hashimoto?" he said.

Nina and Daniel immediately stood up, their cheeks still stained with tears. "Yes?" Nina whispered, nervous.

"Arabella's stomach is currently being pumped, but she's very unstable and I'm not sure there's much more we can do." the doctor said sadly.

A look of disbelief flashed across Daniel's face. "So, what you're saying is that my sister is going to die...?" he mumbled.

The doctor sighed. "What I'm saying is it isn't looking so good right now... But it's not too late yet."

Daniel glared. "Oh really? Well, how do you know???"

The doctor cleared his throat. "Right now, we're doing all we can for her. But, in the end, it's up to her what result she ends up with."

"What do you mean by that?" Nina asked.

"I mean that it's Arabella's decision whether she comes out of this or not." the doctor said.

Arabella's decision.

Nina nodded. "O-Okay..." she muttered, not sure what else to say. Daniel just looked at the ground, not saying anything else.

"We'll tell you as soon as anything changes." the doctor said before he exited the waiting room.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Arabella was completely unconscious. She felt nothing. She was an empty void.

Suddenly, she saw a bright light and was pulled into it...

~Arabella's POV~

I woke up inside a restaurant; my favorite restaurant, the restaurant my family and I used to go to all the time up until my Dad died...

I was sitting at a table, and everything around me was white; all the tables and chairs and the clothes and wallpaper... Everything.

My Dad sat across from me.

My eyes widened. "Daddy?" I said in disbelief.

Dad smiled. "Hey there, flower." he said, calling me by my nickname he gave me.

I blinked several times and looked around. "Where are we...?" I asked.

Dad chuckled. "You more than anyone should know where we are, this WAS your favorite restaurant."

"No, I know that, but I mean WHERE are we EXACTLY," I said. I looked around. "Is this heaven...? Am I... Am I dead...?"

"It's somewhere in between." Dad answered, paying no attention to my other question.

Tears suddenly filled my eyes. "Oh, daddy, I missed you SO MUCH... It was SO HARD living without you for all these years..."

"I know, flower, I'm sorry. But it was my time. I wish I could have stayed, but it wasn't meant to happen. I miss you too." Dad said.

I looked around again. "Does this mean I get to stay here with you?" I asked.

"Well, that depends on you, flower." Dad replied.

"What's that mean?" I asked.

"Well, you're one of the lucky ones; you get to choose whether you live and stay with your mother and brother on Earth, or whether you die and stay with me, in heaven." Dad said.

"I-I wanna stay with you!" I almost immediately said.

Dad gave me a small smile. "Do you?" he questioned.

"Of course I do! There's nothing for me down there! I don't know if you know, but me and my mom get beaten every day if we so much as speak against HIM..." I said.

Dad put his hand on mine. "I know everything, sweetheart, and I'm so sorry that you're getting treated like that. I wish there was something I could do to change that. You, your mother, and Daniel don't deserve any of that. But, it's all over, flower."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"After you... did what you did and after Daniel called 911, your mother came clean to the police and they tracked down Robert at the bar... He's in jail now, honey. He won't bother you ever again. I'm sure of it." Dad said.

My eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yes, really. Most definitely." Dad said.

I probably smiled for the first time in forever. "Finally... Now Mom and Daniel can finally live in peace and no fear..." I cried tears of happiness.

"And so can you," Dad whispered. "Why, Arabella, why would you try and take your own life? Life is a precious gift from God, too precious to give up."

"I... I'm sorry, daddy, I just couldn't take it anymore... Mom and I got beat every day and my baby brother was forced to watch the whole thing... I was bullied at school and I had no friends or anyone to confide in except a diary... I just wasn't strong enough..." I muttered.

Dad put one hand on my shoulder. "It's okay, flower. What you went through is something NO KID SHOULD EVER have to go through. I'm so sorry... I really am. But, it'll never happen again. You, Daniel, and your mother are finally FREE." he whispered.

I sighed. "It's too late for me... What I did can't be undone."

"Weren't you listening? It's not too late, you get to choose, remember?" Dad said.

I looked up. "I really do...?" I asked.

Dad nodded. "You really do." he said.

I took a deep breath and sighed. "Daddy, I love you SO MUCH, and I'll never stop. But..."

"But?" Dad repeated.

"But... I can't stay here... You're right; it's not my time. Not yet. I have the feeling I still have some stuff to do down there. I'm not ready." I said.

Dad smiled. "That's perfectly fine, flower. You're not yet ready. And, as much as I love you, I don't want to see you up here for a LONG TIME... Not until you're all old and wrinkly. Deal?"

I chuckled. "Okay then, deal." I said. We shook on it.

When we were finished, I smiled at him. "I love you, daddy." I whispered.

Dad smiled again. "I love you too, my flower. And don't worry, we'll see each other again, some day... with your mother and Daniel, we'll all see each other again, when the time's right and when you're ready. Until then, I'm willing to wait and miss you all completely. I love you, you and your mother and little Danny."

Tears stung my eyes. "I love you too, daddy. I'll miss you too, and I'll always, ALWAYS love you." I said.

Dad gave me a soft, gentle smile. "Me too. Goodbye, my sweet flower, see you some time in the future. I'll be waiting and thinking of you all. ALWAYS." he said before he leaned forward and kissed my forehead. Then, we engaged in an emotional and loving hug.

Then, the bright light appeared again; I turned away from it and left.

The world wasn't done with me yet.

And I wasn't done with it.

~~~~~~~~~~~

~Third Person POV~

About an hour or two later, the doctor entered the waiting room again.

Nina and Daniel immediately stood up. They had been praying the entire time; praying for God to give them a miracle.

The doctor sighed. "We did all we could for her, and I'm extremely glad to say it paid off; your daughter made it and is expected to make a full recovery." he said before he smiled.

Daniel smiled widely. "Thank you, God...!!!" he said.

Nina fell to her knees. "Thank you, thank you so much, thank you, God!" she cried happily.

"We're keeping her on a forty-eight hour hold just to make sure she's mentally and emotionally stable and is in no way a risk to herself anymore." the doctor said.

Nina nodded. "We understand."

"And, after she gets out, I think it would be a wise choice to get her a therapist or a psychiatrist or something of that sort... It seems she's had a lot of built up stress and sadness that needs to be emptied out of her system if she has a chance at ever being truely happy again." the doctor added.

Nina nodded again. "Of course; anything to help."

"Can we go see my sister?" Daniel asked.

The doctor nodded. "Be my guest; she just woke up."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Nina and Daniel raced to Arabella's hospital room when the doctor told them where it was.

They burst through the door and saw Arabella laying in the hospital bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Nina clasped her hands over her mouth before she and Daniel ran to Arabella's bed.

"Arabella!!!" they both choked out in sobs. Arabella's eyes darted from the ceiling to her mother and brother.

Both Daniel and Nina immediately hugged Arabella.

Nina just suddenly broke down on her daughter. "Oh, Arabella...!!! My baby!!! I almost lost you!!! I'm so sorry, Ari!!! I'm SO SORRY!!! We almost lost you and it's all my fault!!!"

Arabella looked at her mother curiously. "Huh? What do you mean it's your fault?" she whispered.

"It's my fault because I wasn't enough of a mother to stand up for herself and her own children. You both, Arabella and Daniel, deserve better than me. I should have protected you two! Instead I hid in fear and let that bastard hurt you! And, for that, I will NEVER forgive myself... I'm SO SORRY..." Nina said, while in tears.

Daniel put his hand on Nina's. "It's okay, Mom, you were scared. We all were. He hurt all of us. We all suffered." he said.

"But I should have protected you... I should have been a real mother to you two... But, listen to me now--I promise, that from this day forward I will be a better mom and I will protect you both with my life, as I should have done before." Nina said.

Arabella smiled. "Thanks, but you're not a bad mom... You're just a scared and confused mom. And it's okay to be scared and confused at times. But, I'm glad that you're going to try harder. And I'll try harder to be a better daughter. I won't ever do something like this again. Because someone made me realize that while I thought you'd be better off without me, I was clearly wrong because you love me and I love you too." she said.

Daniel smiled and hugged his sister. "We love you too. And we'll stay by your side if you promise to stay by ours."

Arabella chuckled. "I promise," she said. "Oh, by the way, I talked to Dad."

Both Nina and Daniel's eyes widened.

"Wait... You mean Dad...? As in Dad-Dad???" Daniel said.

Arabella nodded. "Uh huh. He says that he misses you both dearly and he'll be waiting for us when the time is right."

Nina's eyes brimmed with tears before she hugged both Arabella and Daniel harder. "I miss him too...," she said. "I'm so lucky to have you kids... Together, we'll rebuild ourselves and I promise, that one day, we WILL be truely happy again. I'm so lucky to have you!"

Arabella smiled into the hug. "I'm lucky to have you guys too," she said honestly. "And I'm lucky to be here."