DAY TWENTY-FIVE: SOMETHING YOU'RE CURRENTLY WORRYING ABOUT

Oh geez. What am I not worrying about? I'm such a ball of stress all the time that it balances out and it's hard to focus on any one specific thing.

I guess I'm worried about my dad, kind of (long story— he and my mother have been divorced for like a decade now). He got his leg amputated recently (he's a diabetic) and has yet to properly recover. A lot of people wake from the surgery and freak out and believe they still have the limb. Usually, though, they're supposed to get over this within a couple of days at most. It's been at least a week and my father is still acting crazy. He believes that he still has his leg and that the hospital is holding him hostage against his will. My mother has to spend almost every day there, but left early one day because he literally hit her and had to be restrained.

Also, his blood sugar is being weird? It keeps shooting up and then falling down. The hospital is at its wits end just keeping him alive and stable, so they haven't had time to figure out why he reacted so poorly to the surgery. They think he might have a concussion, though.

He has just recently started acting sane again, and the hospital staff untied him, and he's making sense again. They still have to check for the concussion and get his blood sugar under control, and then he'll have to spend two or three months in a rehabilitation center learning to use his prosthetic leg. But he doesn't have any money to begin with, and he's not happy about it.

It's a little bit stressful. :'D

EDIT: I wrote this like a week ago. My father's now sane and his blood sugar is mostly stabilized, but the infection has returned in his other leg. The doctors did a surgery to try and stop it, but they did that with the one they had to remove, too. So, basically, he'll probably have to lose both legs.

DAY TWENTY-SIX: THINGS YOU LIKE AND DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF

Haven't we been over this?!

I dislike most things about myself. I don't like my face or my body and I'm a barely-functional mentally ill mess. I can barely do or handle anything by myself and hold myself back all the time. I have very few strengths or talents, and the ones that I do have have no practical applications. 

I do, however, think that I'm funny, that I'm a decent conversationalist, that I'm a fair and understanding person, and that I generally mean well. I try to be a decent human being whenever possible and I've been told that I have a lot of empathy. I also try to stay aware and informed on social issues and avoid hurting people or saying anything bigoted. I keep my head down and avoid causing unnecessary conflict and usually do what I'm told.

People do sometimes perceive me as mean or rude, but this is a combination of my own social awkwardness and the fact that so many (upper-middle class) people expect to be praised and complimented all the time. I'm honest. I'm not going to kiss your feet if I don't think you deserve it, and I can't really force a cheerful demeanor or a smile. I happen to think of myself as a kind person even if I don't often come across as overtly friendly. I'll chat with and listen to anybody, really. I'm just not always good at starting the conversation.

So that's it, basically. I think I'm pretty useless and embarrassing, but that I do mean well and try.